37mm

I can't believe it you come across some half arsed feckless comment in a foul mood & proceed to destroy it line by line & then, just before you post it, you realise the buggar has already apologised further down the page...

Okay how... I ask how on Peng's Earth does 'it' become 'at' north of Carlisle? [ September 17, 2005, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Pull me to victory; versus Stormsebber After his first lamentable display I expected a severe improvement from this psychotically aggressive serf… his obsession for random QB’s continued so his Soviets were entrusted to defend a piece of Finland. I decided to bring a slightly unusual unrestricted force (for me) consisting of a company, a trio of AA guns, four infantry guns, three mortars & a couple of AT guns plus about 5 vehicles, all but the vehicles (reg) & the AA guns (conscript) were crack troops (again rare for me) The map was dominated by a large hill whose top would presumably be occupied by Stormsebber… I set up a couple of guns, mortars & MG’s to cover the advance & then cautiously sent two platoons to deal with this hill. Sewer finally opened up just as I’d set up all my infantry exactly as I liked. I lost a couple of my crack LMG scouts but quickly drove him off the hill & then proceeded to occupy his warm trenches. I started setting up my guns further forward & these helped to cover the advance of my leftmost platoon. My rightmost platoon came down the hill (on my side) & then went forward towards the small cut off right flank objective which I expected to be lightly defended. Sebber then launched an almighty counter attack with… no wait for it… one T-70, a couple of squads and some mortars/guns travelling over open ground! I knocked out his guns with my crack mortars, mowed down his squads & waited for him to run his T-70 into my infantry (which he dutifully did). This however had all delayed stuff on my right, my centre had meanwhile been chewed up as they advanced off my hill… though in return his MG’s, trenches & guns had been either located or ‘dealt’ with. On the left my platoon safely reached & then began to claim the objective copse (Sebber raved that it would be my Stalingrad), setting up more guns & MG’s along the way. It took a little while & some mines annoyed me but I soon claimed the majority of the wood & a key trench. Sebber then launched another counterattack… this one more successful as it ran into my leftmost platoon at a most inopportune moment practically wiping it out. Sebber surrendered his few remaining troops when my long delayed right-most platoon crested the central hill/ridge Battle of the Prams; versus Boo Radley So Boo sent me this little fecking monstrosity, it’s a Berli scenario called 'armoured perambulators' or sumfink. I had three MG tanks & a British platoon. I advanced my platoon through an Italian town without difficulty until I came across this key Church/graveyard where I knew Boo’s AT gun would be. I moved my three vehicles up to find & destroy his AT gun… he opened fire however with two AT guns (I still have no idea why I hadn’t expected this) brewing up two of my MG tanks & driving off the third. For most of the rest of the battle my 2” mortar & infantry squads engaged these guns & several squads of really annoying Krauts… I knocked one out yet could only (endlessly) suppress the other. In the final turns I sent my last MG tank racing into the grave yard… his AT gun missed, my tank escaped behind the Church yet ended up close enough to the objective to turn my defeat into a draw. I suppose it wasn’t that bad really… Summary Three draw’s thanks to ridiculous scabby luck & one victory over a lunatic who can’t tie his own shoelaces… still there’s always that bust up with Noba.

Well with a backlog of miracles to perform I’ve decided to do a quick round-up of battles fought but now (thanks to me) not forgotten (though Berli’s ‘Battle of the Prams’ scenario probably should be forgotten). So here they are in no particular order (other than I’m putting off doing that ‘Battle of the Prams’ AAR for as long as possible)… The Meatgrinder; versus Boo Radley An infantry only QB in Italian wooded hills… I took a couple of US engineer companies & some support weapons. He took a bunch of leather sniffing Krauts. Much of the fighting occurred around a small woodland opening on my right flank. Me & Boo fed more & more infantry into a bloody short range firefight. I Tallyho’ed with glee when my flamers & mortar barrages seemed to give me the upper hand. Boo’s Krauts soon recovered however & quickly started returning HE shells & MG bullets, causing me to groan in dismay. On my Left & Centre Boo claimed his objective with ease inflicting considerable casualties on me… I probably shouldn’t have even bothered taking the MG’s, flamers & the AAMG half track. The fighting on the right grew desperate for me & I hurled everything I had at his troops including my bazooka rounds. Both sides now consisted of exhausted rattled troops, devoid of ammunition. Attack followed counter attack yet still Boo’s troops remained… even the last flammable dregs of my flamers could not permanently shift him. The Battle was over… Boo had troops on both flags, he’d inflicted hordes of casualties & had broken most of my troops. The result however was a draw… serves the fecking hippy roight Prelude to Epsom; versus Nidan1 Nidan1 has put a lot of effort into making this scenario which is all historical & what not… it’s chock full of splodey things, rocket barrages, burning villages & bad weather so I’d consider giving it a try (I’d advise giving the Nu-yoika himself a miss however). Despite all kinds of really hip & happening stuff kicking off all over the battlefield the most important event’s occurred along a single sunken road. A single Panther on that road began pounding my advancing infantry ‘prompting’ me to cease that particular route of advance. Some of my other infantry then moved off (after first checking the ‘safe’ bit of the road for ‘shreks & stuff) to try & outflank the Panther… they come under fire but succeeded in drawing the Panthers ‘care & attention’. A Churchill then hurtled around the corner & fired off an AP round into the flank of Nidan’s distracted Panther. I whooped with joy but my pleasure was short lived for another Panther, beside the sunken road, then whacked my Churchill stirring a cry of anguish from deep with me. Events elsewhere had gone better & so I decided to try & destroy this second Panther with a three pronged attack. Success would depend on my ability to correctly time the converging forces to appear out of the fog & rain at the same time… I lost two Sherman’s (and another immobilized) before fire from my Churchill’s & a 75mm halftrack finally drove the Panther back into the sunken road (it shook off the two rear penetrations without ill effect). My Churchill’s were racing along that road bellowing their infamous war cry “SCHREEBIGGLEPEEP!!!”… which looking back was rather a poor decision on my part. Both Churchill’s bought it, one bursting into flames, the crew of the other surrendering within sight of their objective. I still managed to get a draw (only just) thanks to events elsewhere… you know technically I have yet to defeat the ‘Former Challenge Thread Whipping Boy’ once in any of our four battles. [ September 16, 2005, 02:27 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

There were no spider web’s this morning… the turns from you are still 'disappointing'. Still at least Noba’s turns continue to bring a smile to my face.

For the two past mornings I've woken up covered in spider webs, I've also been receiving turns from Boo that are best described as 'disappointing'... Has the ‘long-haired, rock-polishing freak-out’ cursed me?

You forgot to bold Peng... oh & spell check

I suppose I should say “Peng why have you forsaken me… again” but I suspect that this is just some kind of test which hopefully I’ll pass with flying colours.

1: My ‘claim’ has been blessed (only once admittedly) by a far greater (well somewhat greater anyhow) power than both of us. 2: I of course know that the One thread was started by you… like the cockerel who is so very proud of being a cockerel & happily informs everyone of it’s cockerel like nature you almost never fail to mention that you started the One Thread. 3: You know my father is no great philosopher but once when I was young & small we were on the bus together with a complete lunatic spouting nonsense at both of us… upon leaving the bus I must’ve said something ‘judgmental’ & my Dad turned round & said “It takes all sorts”… I believe as an admonishment, I’m not overly sure… either way I’ve taken the message to heart. 4: If I am the saviour of the MBT it is only the MBT that I can save… I’m afraid. 5: I thought I was helping to ‘write a greater story’ even now I’m planning several miracles which’ll help boost our serf numbers no end… I know that you used to try to boost our numbers even once getting yourself tried or some such for recruiting tournament players!

Foolish gnome… this is why I’m the Messiah. We (as in the Cesspool) have witnessed three completely unprecedented events within 10 hours of each other… TWO I say TWO counts of self inflicted sod off’s and the false knight v_24blOW actually attempting to act like he has a pair!!! Do you know what this probably means for Peng’s sake? Finally it’s the big game that I’ve been waiting for all these months… it is (or could be) apocolypso time!

Lat: 53:26:27N (53.4409) Lon: 2:16:29W (-2.2747)

Actually I use machine guns to tell me when you're around... I think JasonC or someone like that advised as much

That’s "keep your pants on Sir (Sir) 37mm" soldier… and don’t ever presume to blame me for your email account failures!

BOOT! You get that for irregular turn sending... didn't V42BelOw tell you anything (other than how much he admired your ear lobes)?

I have no idea...

I don't think he was talking about me, I’ve never even played 'famine' or 'infectious prig' or 'song & dance' or whatever the feck he is... perhaps he's had a bad experience with someone in the Pool and, as a result, has tarred all Cesspoolers with the same brush. It’s a sad fact of life that we Cesspoolers must continuously act with greater regard to our fellows than would otherwise be expected because any minor discretion will immediately be put down to 'The Pool' rather than the bone idleness/stupidity/malice of the individual. The good name of the Pool must be continuously defended... which reminds me where's Old Foul? [ September 01, 2005, 04:44 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

No, No, No, No, No, No. No, No! You must challenge someone with wit, with panache & preferably with some arrogance (yet tamed by a suitable amount of deference for your betters). If you intend to Challenge ME, a Holy Knight of Peng & the House of (sigh)JD Morse(sigh), then I will require all of the above (with obviously greater deference) plus an offering of cheese on toast (I’m hungry). Then & ONLY then will you be ALLOWED to send me a set-up… PS Call me (or for that matter ANY Knight or Lady) a 'Baby' again & I'll BOOT your sorry hide so hard that you'll end up hunting the jungles of South East Asia in search of your worthless (& may I say flabby) piece of blubber...

What are you? Do you call that a challenge? Does anyone know the status of this thing?

You call that an AAR?

That reminds me I hope BFC finally fix their ‘evil baddy gap’ and make all Nazi’s speak with a British accent

Oh dear we are under attack I advise keeping our heads down in this present situation What a good idea Sir & I thank you for your relevant advice No problem soldier…oh & let us consider returning fire A splendid idea Sir we & the lads will get right onto it

I couldn’t give a feck about the number of SSN’s however we do need more serfs… perhaps 50 would ‘Save the Pool’ from otherwise certain demographic apocalypso

And this would be wrong, why? </font>

*Hic* Look we've got to give a fecking *Hic* good first impression for the new *Hic* fecking forum... otherwise all those new, sodding, bleedin' SSN's will feck off to the waffles or sumfink *Hic*... I say... *Hic* that we need to stuff those oddstralian batsmen up their own arses... *Hic* and that's a fecking HOLY decleration... *Hic* *Hic*... yeah

*Hic* *Hic*