Peng Challenges the Oddstralians to Make Good

[Joe Shaw]

I have 53 minutes left in which to thump you...just wait...it's coming!

Oh good ... well that should provide enough time FOR YOUR NAILS TO DRY.

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Oooooh... that's going to leave a mark.

[Joe Shaw]

Another sizzling turn from Wolfp Mk II!

This time ONE of his vehicles cranked it up to FAST, laid rubber and zoomed down the road ... for about ten feet.

Oh, and one of his Hummers decided to be a vandal and blew up a couple of harmless, defenseless PICKUPS that were abandoned by the side of the road. Just blew 'em up ... no threat, just blew 'em up ... from a substantial distance of course, no doubt he didn't want to disturb the glitterpen collage scrapbook he was working on.

Joe

[Wolfp MkII]

Another sizzling turn from Wolfp Mk II!

This time ONE of his vehicles cranked it up to FAST, laid rubber and zoomed down the road ... for about ten feet.

Oh, and one of his Hummers decided to be a vandal and blew up a couple of harmless, defenseless PICKUPS that were abandoned by the side of the road. Just blew 'em up ... no threat, just blew 'em up ... from a substantial distance of course, no doubt he didn't want to disturb the glitterpen collage scrapbook he was working on.

Joe

MUWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Your just sore because the ROE requires nothing beyond being able to fog a mirror for establishing PID and HA/HI...BURN BABY, BURN!

[stoat]

Your just sore

His just sore? If there's one thing I hate more than Fleischmann's Light Margarine, it's people who not only post onomatopoetic or acronymic representations of laughter, but who also can't handle the basic homonym pairs of the English language.

[Joe Shaw]

MUWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Your just sore because the ROE requires nothing beyond being able to fog a mirror for establishing PID and HA/HI...BURN BABY, BURN!

As best I can determine you're referring to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease in Hahi, Ethiopia ... as least that's the best I can do with my 'leete Google skills.

And, knowing you, it's entirely possible that's exactly what you meant.

Joe

[Seanachai]

And there's only ONE person here suitable for elevation to the ranks of the Olde Ones should one of the more or less existing Olde Ones fall in battle ... or in the gutter as is more likely.

We ALL know who that is, we all know who has been here since the very first thread, we all know who has valiantly defending the M.B.T. and its sacred traditions and we all know who would be the best Olde One EVER in the more or less unfortunate event of the demise of a current Olde One.

So frankly Seanachai, or even Seanachai frankly, I saw no need to look further afield ... asked and answered Seanachai ... asked and answered.

Joe

Joe, that was nobly spoken. Except that bit about my not dying, which was actually on the table, but I don't blame you for doubting, because, let's face it, my life is a horror and yet I've never died before.

I knew you had a noble soul, Joe. I knew that when 'push came to shove', or rather, when 'lift with the legs, boys, and then lower with the ropes' was easing my box into the ground, that you would be there. That you would step up, and be there for the Mother Beautiful Thread, the Cesspool.

I knew you would bring the full weight of your Office in to support the elevation of Boo Radley to the position of 'Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread'.

Let's face it, Joe. I'm not going to live forever. Although, of course, as an Eternal Mythic Figure whose existence predates human knowledge and whose demise can only be brought about by the People ceasing to explore the boundaries of the human experience, I'll continue to exist in some form. It just probably won't be the one that's currently sitting in this chair drinking Irish whisky, smoking a cigar and listening to Bob Dylan.

And when the time comes for Old Man Seanachai to shuffle off into the Wasteland, and remain there forever (physically, I'll be rotting, and eventually devoured by a Polar Bear, but essentially I'll be watching over all of you, and metaphorically pissing on you all from a considerable height), I know that you'll understand that my absence will leave a void in the Peng Challenge Thread.

And that the only logical thing is that Boo Radley will take on my cast-off mantle of 'Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread'.

Joe, I know that you will be a pillar of strength to him, when that time comes. That you will help his feet onto the path of 'Olde One'.

After all, other than the Olde Ones themselves, you're the man who knows, understands, and loves the Peng Challenge Thread the most. Who better, then, to help guide the first steps of the New Master?

[Joe Shaw]

Joe, that was nobly spoken. Except that bit about my not dying, which was actually on the table, but I don't blame you for doubting, because, let's face it, my life is a horror and yet I've never died before.

I knew you had a noble soul, Joe. I knew that when 'push came to shove', or rather, when 'lift with the legs, boys, and then lower with the ropes' was easing my box into the ground, that you would be there. That you would step up, and be there for the Mother Beautiful Thread, the Cesspool.

I knew you would bring the full weight of your Office in to support the elevation of Boo Radley to the position of 'Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread'.

Let's face it, Joe. I'm not going to live forever. Although, of course, as an Eternal Mythic Figure whose existence predates human knowledge and whose demise can only be brought about by the People ceasing to explore the boundaries of the human experience, I'll continue to exist in some form. It just probably won't be the one that's currently sitting in this chair drinking Irish whisky, smoking a cigar and listening to Bob Dylan.

And when the time comes for Old Man Seanachai to shuffle off into the Wasteland, and remain there forever (physically, I'll be rotting, and eventually devoured by a Polar Bear, but essentially I'll be watching over all of you, and metaphorically pissing on you all from a considerable height), I know that you'll understand that my absence will leave a void in the Peng Challenge Thread.

And that the only logical thing is that Boo Radley will take on my cast-off mantle of 'Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread'.

Joe, I know that you will be a pillar of strength to him, when that time comes. That you will help his feet onto the path of 'Olde One'.

After all, other than the Olde Ones themselves, you're the man who knows, understands, and loves the Peng Challenge Thread the most. Who better, then, to help guide the first steps of the New Master?

Good Lord man, what are you on? I had hoped that you'd been able to kick the Sterno by this time, though asking you to forwent huffing the copier toner was probably asking too much.

Kindly reread my post (yes it will require you to navigate further than that ever so handy LAST POST link BFC has thoughtfully provided for those such as yourself). In it you'll see that one of the prime prereques ... perregqu ... first things that need to exist is that the new Olde One ... hmmmm .... is someone who has been here since the first MBT was created some odd (and frankly it's been more than just SOME odd) ten years ago. Boo Radley was NOT here then and frankly isn't even a Seniour Knight of the CessPool so I see no way in hell that he can be elevated to the rank of Olde One.

No Seanachai (there's a couple of words I'm sure you've seen used in exactly that conjuction before) I was thinking of someone else, someone of established stature, someone Beloved by all, someone who has been tested in the fires of all the incarnations of the Peng Challenge Thread and who has strode ... stridden ... whatever, through those fires with dignity and stern resolve.

In that time of testing Seanachai, we'll need someone mature enough and skillful enough to guide this misbegotten lot.

And you'd put the tiller of the Peng Challenge Thread in the hands of a large thuggish henchman WHO'S NOT EVEN A SENIOUR KNIGHT and is from ... wait for it ... OHIO?

To avoid that I'd even suggest that you refrain from dying for a long, LONG time ... so you KNOW I have to be horrified by your suggestion.

Joe

[Yeknodathon]

... easing my box into the ground

Oh, that won't do at all! To meet the gods for a drink one must have a burning kayak, drifting silently down the river with the faint smell of barbequed Gnome on the air, and the odd fizz and pop as various containers of alcohol light up.. and we would all stand and remember as the vessel drifts from our view and ponder on what might happen when yer mortal remains enters traffic in the St Lawrence Seaway.

[Seanachai]

In that time of testing Seanachai, we'll need someone mature enough and skillful enough to guide this misbegotten lot.

And you'd put the tiller of the Peng Challenge Thread in the hands of a large thuggish henchman WHO'S NOT EVEN A SENIOUR KNIGHT and is from ... wait for it ... OHIO?

To avoid that I'd even suggest that you refrain from dying for a long, LONG time ... so you KNOW I have to be horrified by your suggestion.

Joe

So...Joe, you're saying that there's a better candidate? My head's awhirl...

So, you say...that there is another candidate? Someone more worthy?

And, just by the by, Boo Radley is a Seniour Knight, laddy. I made him such. He is the thing, and the whole of the thing.

[Joe Shaw]

So...Joe, you're saying that there's a better candidate? My head's awhirl...

So, you say...that there is another candidate? Someone more worthy?

And, just by the by, Boo Radley is a Seniour Knight, laddy. I made him such. He is the thing, and the whole of the thing.

He is not ... I should know for I've made the recommendation myself so I have and nothing's come of it. It may be that YOU approved it but either Peng or Berli or perhaps the both of them put the kibosh on the notion.

And yes Seanachai there IS a more worthy candidate ... I mean ... Boo Radley ... there MUST be any NUMBER of more worthy candidates. But I'm confident that if you put your mind to it long enough you'll come to the same conclusion as I. Nothing less than the fate of the Peng Challenge Thread hangs in the balance, lad ... of course nothing more than that hangs either.

No this is not some lost puppy that you've found wandering the Outreboards and wish to adopt as a full fledged Knight Seanachai ... we are talking about an Olde One ... only the most qualified of candidates will suffice.

Joe

[Michael Emrys]

I got one of the worst cases of food poisoning ever from mussels ...

Thanks, Joe. You just brought a ray of light into an otherwise dreary December.

...here's wishing the same to you.

Now there's a sentiment I can echo with a clear conscience.

Michael

[Michael Emrys]

...I'll continue to exist in some form. It just probably won't be the one that's currently sitting in this chair drinking Irish whisky, smoking a cigar and listening to Bob Dylan.

You might try reincarnating as a dart board. That at least would not exceed your abilities. Maybe.

Michael

[Stuka]

Oh OK Joe, I accept your nomination and support as the next Olde One of the Pool.

[Seanachai]

There were fourteen episodes of Firefly made. Each one is like a diamond. Late at night, or whenever you're alone with the need for 50 or so minutes of pure genius, you can take one out, polish it on your soul, and watch it.

And it redefines everything you ever thought you knew about entertainment.

It's that good.

[Michael Emrys]

...I was thinking of someone else, someone of established stature, someone Beloved by all, someone who has been tested in the fires of all the incarnations of the Peng Challenge Thread and who has strode ... stridden ... whatever, through those fires with dignity and stern resolve.

Gee, it's really nice of you to make the offer and all, and I really wish I could accept the honor(?), but I find that being Lord God and Supreme Being keeps me pretty busy and I really need to get away for a vacation once in a while. On a South Sea island. Surrounded by beautiful wahines who live to serve my every wish.

Michael

[Seanachai]

Oh OK Joe, I accept your nomination and support as the next Olde One of the Pool.

I'm going to give you a right kicking. The only way you'd be the next Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread is if rats had eaten 90% of all life on this planet.

[Michael Emrys]

There were fourteen episodes of Firefly made. Each one is like a diamond. Late at night, or whenever you're alone with the need for 50 or so minutes of pure genius, you can take one out, polish it on your soul, and watch it.

And it redefines everything you ever thought you knew about entertainment.

It's that good.

You are overrating it just a bit. But then, you're Irish and thus madly infatuated with your own verbiage, so I guess we have to expect these little imprecisions. But it is fun and I will watch it again someday.

Michael

[Seanachai]

Gee, it's really nice of you to make the offer and all, and I really wish I could accept the honor(?), but I find that being Lord God and Supreme Being keeps me pretty busy and I really need to get away for a vacation once in a while. On a South Sea island. Surrounded by beautiful wahines who live to serve my every wish.

Michael

No, not you either, you aging bugger. Sit down over there, and be quiet.

[Seanachai]

And they wandered in

From the city of St. John

Without a dime

Wearing coats that shined

Both red and green

Colors from their sunny island

From their boats of iron

They looked upon the promised land

Where surely life was sweet

On the rising tide

To New York City

Did they ride into the street

See the glory

Of the royal scam

They are hounded down

To the bottom of a bad town

Amid the ruins

Where they learn to fear

An angry race of fallen kings

Their dark companions

While the memory of

Their southern sky was clouded by

A savage winter

Every patron saint

Hung on the wall, shared the room

With twenty sinners

See the glory

Of the royal scam

By the blackened wall

He does it all

He thinks he's died and gone to heaven

Now the tale is told

By the old man back home

He reads the letter

How they are paid in gold

Just to babble in the back room

All night and waste their time

And they wandered in

From the city of St. John without a dime

See the glory

Of the royal scam

-Steely Dan

[Seanachai]

So, I went over to see my Small Friends tonight. Two reasons for that then, eh? First, two days ago, Smaller Nora walked down the stairs to find her Mom, and said 'Where's Grandma Steve?', and her Mom told her, 'Honey, he's at home.' And Smaller Nora looked at her Mom and said 'Why?'.

And the second reason is, Small Emma told her Mom to call me, and tell me to come over, so that I could see the presents. When you're a kid, a Christmas Tree with a lot of presents under it is like a TV tray with a bottle of 16 year old Lagavulin, a bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape, a Gloria Cubana, two joints of the good stuff, and a half ounce of psilocybin mushrooms on it.

It's that good.

Because, under that tree, is... Everything. A whole universe of promise, wonder, and the potential for happiness. Generally speaking, in later life, you're only going to get the same feeling from the half ounce of psilocybin.

So, I went out and shoveled out the car, fought my way through the damn snow (seriously need to replace the windshield wipers, which pretty much just moved frozen water over the windshield in a very linear, protestant way), and went and saw Small Friends. I had left-over pot roast with them, and rice, and salad. The best part was when Smaller Nora looked at me and said: "Peas! I like peas. We have no peas..."

I sh*t you not. Two and a half years old, and she's already weirder than most of you lot. Well, maybe not weirder than Lars. But nothing much is.

Afterwards, I was granted the privilege (and it is a privilege, these days, when everything is about 'Mommy'), of reading Emma her bedtime stories. Frankly, the selected texts were complete sh*te. One flimsy book was about 'Barbie Mariposa', and it was so awful I contemplated losing control of my bodily functions, what with the 'Flitterwoods', and 'skeezites', and 'Evil Fairy Henna' crap. It was as bad as the stuff the Department of Homeland Security comes out with. Truly awful. A drunk Australian could write better prose.

Afterwards, I had a couple of glasses of port with Small Emma's Mom. And then I headed out into Minnesota winter.

I started the car, and then got out the brush to clear off the snow.

And do you know? I swept the first strip off the roof of the car, and it was like... clearing feathers laced with diamonds. Every flake was there, sparkling. I drove home across a carpet of glittering stars.

It was cold as sh*te, of course. And I half slid up to every stop sign, and spun the wheels through every intersection to get going.

But it was beautiful beyond belief. Glorious. Like someone had used a razor to shave jewels out of ice, and scattered them across the streets.

I pity people that live in the warm States. They're denied the beauty of an entire season. They live in places that simply go brown and wet, or never actually change at all.

Here, in the Northlands, we see every Season, pure and sharp. And that beauty can't help but change you. Here in the North, we see everything the way it truly is... Infinite.

[Wolfp MkII]

Joe

Their's (that was for you bloat...dope...tote...Stella; yes, that's it...I shall refer to you as Stella, as it is much more befitting and memorable. I kept the S and t to minimize confusion on your part. Don't thank me, consider it a favor.) a notable lack of targets in the AO. Do you think you could have one of your man-dress wearing pixilated terrorists stand up and wave? Specular refraction and reflection is playing havoc with my GLID, and my CAS stack is doing nought but burning holes in the sky. A little assist before they go BINGO fuel and have to RTB for a cold one would be much appreciated.

[Wolfp MkII]

...On a South Sea island. Surrounded by beautiful wahines who live to serve my every wish.

Michael

or...or...surrounded by members of the Fore Tribe, who serve you as a light afternoon snack!

[Boo Radley]

He is not ... I should know for I've made the recommendation myself so I have and nothing's come of it. It may be that YOU approved it but either Peng or Berli or perhaps the both of them put the kibosh on the notion.

And yes Seanachai there IS a more worthy candidate ... Boo Radley. (Other unimportant stuff SNIPPED!)

Joe

Sniff...

I just wanted to say that I thank you all for the genuine support I've received throughout the years and I won't forget any of you. No, believe me, I won't be forgetting ANY of you...

And I'd also like to thank the Academy and the Department of Redundancy Department and all those little people out there, who I only see after downing 500 or so ml of well scotch and especially you, Joe. You've been such a steadying influence through the years. A litteral anchor around my neck. And I just want you to know that you'll be well taken care of once I'm in power. Oh yes... you won't have anything to worry about.

Ever again.

[Lars]

Oh, that won't do at all! To meet the gods for a drink one must have a burning kayak, drifting silently down the river with the faint smell of barbequed Gnome on the air, and the odd fizz and pop as various containers of alcohol light up.. and we would all stand and remember as the vessel drifts from our view and ponder on what might happen when yer mortal remains enters traffic in the St Lawrence Seaway.

Oh Bravo.

But why are we putting perfectly good alcohol on the boat?