Yeknodathon Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Isn't Scunthorpe that place where everybody looks just like everybody else and they all look kind of funny? Scunthorpe, Michael, is place of immeasurable beauty; spires poking their way into the heavans, trees laden with full and ripe fruit, cheery beer sellers offering free flagons of amber necter, dogs happily devoid of any limps or scratches and troughs overflowing with the most tasty root vegetables and varieties of brassica with no hint of genetically modified ickiness. Michael, it is an utopia - a paragon of the good life that bursts open into a veritable cornucopia of endless possibilities of pleasure and opportunity. And as one traverses along Up the Corns Boulevard you are greeted with thickly buttered slices of life that replenish the soul and tickles the heart. Truely, it is the heaven on Earth; it is Eden - unspoilt, bountiful, Scunthorpe! Now when you populate it with your funny people.. see, it just don't sit right. It is the serpent in the grass, it is the beady-eyed, malevolent hamster on the wheel, it is just the wrong school bus and that won't do at all. No, I refuse your funny people that look all the same - they are too... too... garden ornamentations. That won't do at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 If you substitute "testicle" for "dog" in the above testimonial, it comes out kinda funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 [sucking on a sprout in a thoughtful way seeking literary inspiration ] Two or three? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I just went out and blew $700 on cigars, the old humidor is looking better stocked right now. I figure another $1000 and i'll be fully loaded for six months at least. *puff puff* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 16, 2008 Author Share Posted August 16, 2008 If you substitute "testicle" for "dog" in the above testimonial, it comes out kinda funny. Looks at the above testimonial. Squints while reading it. Tries it with one eye closed and the other tied behind his back No... no it doesn't. Have you been smoking those huge, funny cigars you get at the carnival again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I just went out and blew $700 on cigars, the old humidor is looking better stocked right now. I figure another $1000 and i'll be fully loaded for six months at least. *puff puff* You do realize, don't you, that you are destined to die in poverty? And pretty soon too. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Scunthorpe, Michael, is place of immeasurable beauty; spires poking their way into the heavans, trees laden with full and ripe fruit, cheery beer sellers offering free flagons of amber necter, dogs happily devoid of any limps or scratches and troughs overflowing with the most tasty root vegetables and varieties of brassica with no hint of genetically modified ickiness. Michael, it is an utopia - a paragon of the good life that bursts open into a veritable cornucopia of endless possibilities of pleasure and opportunity. And as one traverses along Up the Corns Boulevard you are greeted with thickly buttered slices of life that replenish the soul and tickles the heart. Truely, it is the heaven on Earth; it is Eden - unspoilt, bountiful, Scunthorpe! Pity about the express highway planned to go right through it then, eh? I understand the government plans to start demolitions some time around Easter next year. One last Christmas with the old folks and then, poof, KA-BOOM. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I thought Scunthorpe was that place where Michael Caine and his German Paras dressed as Brit Paras landed to kill Churchill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I thought Scunthorpe was that place where Michael Caine and his German Paras dressed as Brit Paras landed to kill Churchill. Free Polish paras you idiot. From the Official Reference Work of the Peng Challenge Thread, Wikipedia ... The commandos outfit themselves as Free Polish troops, as few of them speak English; the plan is to infiltrate Studley Constable, complete their mission, rendezvous with an E-boat at the nearby coast and make their escape. Sheesh, I go to ManyAppleLess for a few days on business, without access to the M.B.T., and I return to find that Abbott is in full blown tiff mode (not to be confused with the much more terrible jpeg mode) over a photo which the Lady Patch had shopped, then the Lady Redneck allegedly referred to me as an "ass" (presumably NOT equating me with the Donkey of the CessPool, Yeknodathon) thereby igniting a ... uh ... spirited discussion with the Lady Bugged and the joining of Gawd alone knows how many other CessPoolers and assorted SSNs. But THEN to have a full fledged Knight of the CessPool ignorantly proclaim that Michael Caine's paras were Brits ... well, it's just too much. I may go to Des Moines to escape in a week or two and see how you all like it. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I may go to Des Moines to escape in a week or two and see how you all like it. Let's see...Yes, I thought so. Des Moines is scheduled for the next anthrax release. So...I'd like that just fine. <grin> Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 KA-BOOM You do resemble ole Ted.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 [throwing a Free Polish rubber gnome para from the shed roof...] Mother of God... Flying pigs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 <grin> Note the lack of a '</grin>'? Ergo, Emry's has been sitting around grinning all weekend, like the village idiot we know him to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I would spend $700 to shove Emrys into a humidor to keep him nice n fresh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 At least he'd burn nice and even with a good ash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Yes, one would enjoy a mild, creamy-smooth Emrys Limitada Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 You can smoke an Emry's if you like, I'll pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I just went out and blew $700 on cigars, the old humidor is looking better stocked right now. I figure another $1000 and i'll be fully loaded for six months at least. *puff puff* 1) I hate you. 2) I just spent $110 on cigars. a $55 deal for 50 "closeout" Don Elias churchills which just arrived the other day. I had my first tonight. Not something I'd consider for a special, but a decent yeoman stick that I won't mind giving to friends or smoking on a whim. Another $55 or so has a box of 20 Onyx Churchills on its way to me. Dark and solid, these are my "go to" brand of choice. Next month I'll spring for a box of Partagas Black Gigantes, which are definitely my weekend specials. That should do me for awhile. What did you get yourself, O Hated One? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 I picked up Cohiba Ciglo IV's and Monte Cristo somethings that I can't recall, but they are a decent size. Also a new leather triple cigar pouch with which to transport the little darlings to parties etc..... I'm paying something like $15-$20 a cigar, what on earth do you get for your $2.50??? Shrivelled horse thingies or what?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 In other news, Noba and I have beaten each other more or less into a draw, assuming no gamey flag rushes, (hey it's Noba after all), I can see his bren carriers lurking around rubbled buildings, engines revving readying for the final turn. His tanks appear to have expended all HE and hopefully all MG ammo whilst my troops have effectively dealt with most of his squishies, leaving him to lead the attack with Piat and mortar crews.. His scorched earth policy of demolishing all buildings with HE has gifted me a Stalingrad-like opportunity to hold ground against the clankety things, gotta mind those 'fausts and grenade bundles! So its down to the wire, few troops left to attack, but plenty of armour support with which to rush the flags, against a bunch of sneakily hidden and mightily pissed off soldaten. How, oh how will it all end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 How, oh how will it all end? Just send a turn before you die of lung cancer... Noba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Already did, hurry up and reply before I leave work and go home and fire up a stogie... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Thus spake dalem ... a decent yeoman stick that I won't mind giving to friends or smoking on a whim. Come, come lad ... granted he's just a yeoman but I'm sure he has a name. And may I remind you of the prohibition here against using thingie references. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Could be worse as the humidor is unlocked and passed around to display a freshly rolled Emrys in all its glory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 There is no glory in an Emrys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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