Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 When I can embezzle...I mean 'liberate' enough funds from this country Seanachai, I will arrive on your doorstep in a boozed up limo and whisk you away to Oregano whilst engorging you with nasssty cat's piss liqour in a pretty Dalem-pleasing bottle so that Leeo may have the honour of the first swing at your head with the tire-iron. I will then busy myself crafting a shallow pit for your squishy leftovers and when the crunch, crunch sounds become wetter and more splat, splat, i'll know that Leeo's work is done.... Your death will not be in vain, for as Leeo sways drunkenly over your mound of fresh earth with a sweaty 'that was a good bit of work done this day' look on his in-bred, backblocks of Oregan face....I'll clobber that idiot too....can't have any witness's you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 We have now reached the point where we are moving beyond 'The Tales of Small Emma', and moving into the 'Tales of Small Friends'. Because the always imperious, effervescent, and delightful Small Emma is being ever more joined by her sister, Smaller Nora. Smaller Nora is...more 'boisterous' than Emma. To put it concisely: Smaller Nora is a big, big freak. She's louder. She's more demonstrative. She's a little nut-job. But she's just as lovable. She's just as amazing. And, as will occur, she's starting to want to play with 'Grandma Steve', while her sister regards 'Grandma Steve' as a completely owned subsidiary of 'Small Emma Enterprises'. What's a poor minion to do? When I started out on this whole road of being 'Grandma Steve', I never realized I'd have to split an aging heart into two. Christ, it can barely pump enough blood to keep ME alive, let alone find time to amuse two small princesses. We shall just have to work at it. The new, little Smaller Princess, Nora, has always liked me. I've always been there, after all, playing with her big sister, and friends of her Mom and Dad. We're buddies. But now, she's a big enough girl to play. When she sees me, she shrieks (a common reaction), and then laughs (the other most common reaction), and she runs around. She will climb right up on me, and she will hug me. That'll melt the heart. Shrieking, laughing, and hugging. A man could die well, if he knew he'd got that under his belt. Beloved of a child is better than being beloved of gods. They both demand sacrifices. Only children make anything like a return. Gods are ****e. And my other friend, Smaller Nora, has never addressed me in any way. She's laughed at me, she's hugged me, she's climbed over me, and she's mauled me. But she's new to the whole 'language' thing, and she's never called me anything. But now, she's learned enough to say 'Gama Seeee!' That'll do. Her sister, Small Emma, of course, is not completely 'on board' with the fact that, as 'Grandma Steve', I now have to divide one heart in two, as I said. But I know I will only have to do so briefly. Because they are sisters. They will always be in competition, in some ways, but on a deeper level they will be arrayed against the entire world. And when they realize that, I will always be Their Secret Minion. So, I went over there, Friday night, and we played. Nora taught me a new and interesting game. When she held her arms up, I picked her up, and she laughed. Then she put her two small hands underneath my chin, and pushed until I was looking at the freaking ceiling. It's amazing how strong something that you can hold in your arms can be. And I told her Mom, in a strangled tone, 'Jen, your daughter is trying to snap my neck..' And her Mom told me: "Oh, she's just playing the 'push you over' game. When she sits on the couch with mommy or daddy, she 'pushes us over'. We fall over, and then she laughs. Man, she's almost got your head touching your spine, doesn't she?" "Yeah. She's awful strong..." The other purpose of a 'Grandma Steve' is to also amuse the parents... I have achieved the 'penultimate' state. When her Mom asked her what she wanted to do before bed, last night, Small Emma told her, 'I want to play with Grandma Steve upstairs on the third story [at some later time, I will explain the significance of the various rooms/stories of the house], and then I want him to read three books to me. On the third story (because books read elsewhere than her room aren't the same as 'bedtime stories'). And her Mom told her: Okay, I will set the timer (what the hell did primitive peoples do before the invention of the digital timer?). So we played. And we even finished the 'game' before the timer went off. And then I was allowed to have my treat: I read her 'three books'. They were pretty silly, but she likes them. It was the same three books I read to her the last time I was over there. I now believe that's by intent, and not a matter of the books themselves. Children play out patterns, like Opera, and they need the same stories, told in the same way, by the same narrators. I found that with my own nieces and nephews, who didn't have me around as much when they were growing up, and didn't want me to read to them, instead of their mom and dad. But I'm there for Emma Sine, and Nora Mette. I will get to read to them. I hope that, when they get older, I will be there to read them things like Lloyd Alexander's 'Taran' series. Or the 'Hobbit'. When we were done with our books, we walked downstairs (from 'the third story') and her Mom came out, and she had to put on her pajamas. I helped to interpret, for her Mom, the seriousness of 'not wearing pajamas with long sleeves'. The little bugger always wants to wear summer pajamas, even in deep winter. Probably because you could lose a yak in the bed covers her Mom has on her bed. But you know, with kids, they toss and turn, they throw the covers off, and then they wake up cold. And you know Moms. They want you to always be warm, and they're not concerned about the fact that your 'winter' pajamas aren't as charming, and 'ballroom gown-like' as your summer pajamas. It's hard being a Fairy Tinkerbell Princess in cuddly woolies. And then it was time for the 'Bedtime Story'. And her Mom told her: But you already had three books upstairs with Grandma Steve. It's time for bed! And Emma Sine Small Friend told her, quite rightly, in my opinion, 'That was just normal books, it wasn't bedtime stories!' It was all I could do to not jump in and support her. But I didn't, and the only reason I didn't was because I knew her Mom was a reader, and believer in reading. And she didn't let me down. "Okay, you can have one book for bedtime. What do you want?" "I want an Angelina!" For those of you out there without small children, there is a large series of 'Angelina' books out there. Angelina is a mouse, and she likes to dance. They play big with children, and they're fairly charming. "Do you want Mommy to read it to you, or Grandma Steve?" "Mommy!" "Not Grandma Steve?" "No, Mommy!" That's as it should be. I was not slighted. I get to read her the 'sit up books'. Her Mom reads her the 'bedtime story'. And her Dad, too. But I am privileged, beyond all other mortals. I get to tell her stories, and I get to read her 'sit up books'. Seanachai. In Gaelic, it means 'Storyteller'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: It wasn't a book, you halfwit. That's the final soliloquy of Rutger Hauer's character in 'Blade Runner". It was a moment of transformation. At the end, he released a dove, as he died. Philistines. I'd claim I remembered this quote from the movie, but it would be a lie, because I've never managed to stay awake to the end of that particular piece of cellusopor. But for one horrible summer, a good friend did have that piece of dialogue as his answering machine message. So I knew the answer, but couldn't stay awake long enough to type it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 I promised Persephone a 'Small Emma' story. I've done my best to not disappoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Tell us a cigar story Dalem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted February 3, 2008 Author Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: It wasn't a book, you halfwit. That's the final soliloquy of Rutger Hauer's character in 'Blade Runner". It was a moment of transformation. At the end, he released a dove, as he died. Philistines. I'd claim I remembered this quote from the movie, but it would be a lie, because I've never managed to stay awake to the end of that particular piece of cellusopor. But for one horrible summer, a good friend did have that piece of dialogue as his answering machine message. So I knew the answer, but couldn't stay awake long enough to type it. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: Tell us a cigar story Dalem! Well, earlier tonight I had a nice Partagas Black. In anticipation of incipient layoffs at my place of work, I think I'll stay up too late by the fire and fire up a nice Onyx Churchill. They neither practice chiropracty on me nor demand stories. They do go well with a nice splash of port, however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 O.....K..... not quite the story I had in mind. A little short in the opening, no real character involvement, lacking in plot and the less said about the ending the better. I am curious about the partagas black however.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: O.....K..... not quite the story I had in mind. A little short in the opening, no real character involvement, lacking in plot and the less said about the ending the better. I am curious about the partagas black however.... A Partagas Black is not quite as strong as the dessicated monkey arms that Seanachai likes to puff on, but they definitely let you know you've had a cigar. Strong taste, firm ash, tangy wrapper, and a good, clean draw. [ February 03, 2008, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: dalem ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Ahhh, the all important 'draw', I had a Cuban Robusto of some description the other night and the draw was a little 'loose'. Kind of like trying to drag through a 4" plumbing pipe.....quite frustrating although the taste was good and the burn even... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: Ahhh, the all important 'draw', I had a Cuban Robusto of some description the other night and the draw was a little 'loose'. Kind of like trying to drag through a 4" plumbing pipe.....quite frustrating although the taste was good and the burn even... Personally I find the Cubans I've had fairly universally disappointing, with a few exceptions. The Nicaraguans and Hondurans are much better, again in my opinion. And hey, this Sandeman's Tawny Port ain't half bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 and dominican? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: and dominican? Yep, they're as good as well. Frankly, I don't pay much attention to the country of origin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: If afterwards you murdered me and buried me in some favoured strand of cedar, or whatever you goofballs do there in the Pacific Northwest, well...I've had a damn good run.One of the first things I noticed when I moved to Oregon 30 years ago was that it seemed nearly twice a year there would be a mention that the bones of some missing teenaged girl would be discovered up in the woods somewhere. Struck me as a hell of a waste of a teenaged girl. Goddam stupid rednecks. For you on the other hand, it would be a fitting end. Just think of it: to lie beneath the whispering Douglas firs, peed on by random bears. Kinda purty, dontcha think? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by dalem: Personally I find the Cubans I've had fairly universally disappointing, with a few exceptions. The Nicaraguans and Hondurans are much better, again in my opinion.I had a pre-embargo Cuban many, many years ago that was superb. Virtually every cigar I've smoked in the last 30 years though has been a disappointment. They just don't make 'em like they used to, at least not for less than $50 a throw. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: They just don't make 'em like they used to. Silly old fart, of course they make 'em like they used to. It's your sense of smell, taste and cognition that's totally up the **** nowzadayz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted February 3, 2008 Share Posted February 3, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys: They just don't make 'em like they used to. Silly old fart, of course they make 'em like they used to. It's your sense of smell, taste and cognition that's totally up the **** nowzadayz. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 The Giants are Super!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 The Giants are Super!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Originally posted by Nidan1: The Giants are Super!!!!!!!!!!! Mongrel. I was going to watch the replay.... Noba Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Still worth watching Noba, was some great plays at the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Watching that crud is an NAA (Non Australian Activity) and leaves me no choice but to report you to ASIO... Terrorists! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patch Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Originally posted by Seanachai: I promised Persephone a 'Small Emma' story. I've done my best to not disappoint. Thank you for the story Gnomey, and you never disappoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Originally posted by Stuka: Watching that crud is an NAA (Non Australian Activity) and leaves me no choice but to report you to ASIO... Terrorists! So you going to Dubai to watch the real footy this Saturday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Originally posted by Speedy: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Stuka: Watching that crud is an NAA (Non Australian Activity) and leaves me no choice but to report you to ASIO... Terrorists! So you going to Dubai to watch the real footy this Saturday? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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