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Seanachai Challenges Peng Thread Procedures


Joe Shaw

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The gate is open and the fulsome donkey-bodied experience of prime, hardened mule-wrought firmness is abroad and upon this night one's nostrils will sniff any Tag that presents any fancy, supposition or whatever half-gassed (inflamatory or otherwise) fantasy that even begins to dribble forth from any seepage point the slightest smear of idiocy.

[ February 17, 2006, 02:11 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

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Oh, I suppose one might imagine the Wife of Bath in a John Deere cap... just so tractor.

Upon an amblere esily she sat,

Ywympled wel, and on hir heed an hat

As brood as is a bokeler or a targe;

A foot-mantel aboute hir hipes large,

And on hir feet a paire of spores sharpe.

[ February 17, 2006, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

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Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Oh, I suppose one might imagine the Wife of Bath in a John Deere cap... just so tractor.

Oh my god that is sooo sexy, I could just imagine my wife all sweaty n wearin Daisy Duke shorts givin my John Deere 8030 tractor a bath! </font>
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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Oh, I suppose one might imagine the Wife of Bath in a John Deere cap... just so tractor.

Oh my god that is sooo sexy, I could just imagine my wife all sweaty n wearin Daisy Duke shorts givin my John Deere 8030 tractor a bath! </font>
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Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

The good news is the New John Deere 8030 Series Row-Crop Wheel and Track Tractors come in 180 to 275 hp models. If you act soon you can get one as low as 6.4% interest for the next several (many) years.

That is excellent news! Have you ever considered throwing yourself under one?

Scaw! I've had too much to drink.

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

The good news is the New John Deere 8030 Series Row-Crop Wheel and Track Tractors come in 180 to 275 hp models. If you act soon you can get one as low as 6.4% interest for the next several (many) years.

That is excellent news! Have you ever considered throwing yourself under one?

Scaw! I've had too much to drink. </font>

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

The good news is the New John Deere 8030 Series Row-Crop Wheel and Track Tractors come in 180 to 275 hp models. If you act soon you can get one as low as 6.4% interest for the next several (many) years.

That is excellent news! Have you ever considered throwing yourself under one?

Scaw! I've had too much to drink. </font>

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Originally posted by Red Necked Dollar:

Naw, I am having too much fun to want to be run over by a John Deere. However a used tractor is in the budget for the coming springtime. God willin' and the creek don't rise. I have to admit talking about John Deere's with you lot brings a tear to my eye, nope that was just tobacco spit bouncing off my monitor.

I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine

I had a little stretch of land along the C.P. Line

But times were hard, and though I tried, the money wasn't there

And bankers came and took my land, and told me "fair is fair".

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no

"Hire you now," they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go!"

The government they promised me a measly little sum

But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum

Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone,

I'm gonna be a pirate on the river Saskatchewan.

'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

You'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at large

But just the other day I saw an unsuspecting barge

I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser

I rammed their ship and sank it, and I stole their fertilizer.

A bridge outside of Moose Jaw spans a mighty river

Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver

'Cause they know that Tractor Jack is waiting in the bay,

I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay.

'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat

He followed on the shoreline, 'cause he didn't own a boat,

But cutbacks were a-coming and the Mountie lost his job

So now he's sailing with me and we call him Salty Bob.

A swinging sword, a skull-and-bones, and pleasant company,

I never pay my income tax and screw the G.S.T. (Screw it!)

Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea

If you wanna reach the Co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!

'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here

I heard that in Alberta there's a band of buccaneers

They roam the Athabasca from Smith to Fort McKay

And you're bound to lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way

Well, winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze

My pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze

I'll be back in springtime, but now I've got to go

I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico.

'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

'Cause it's a heave-ho, high-ho, coming down the Plains

Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains

And it's a ho-hey, high-hey, farmers bar your doors

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores

Silence, you Canadian whore! I shall subdue you with the power of jolly singsong!

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Ah, the joys of being me.

Small Emma loves me. I'm the only adult she can order around. Even the sodding dogs don't pay any attention to her orders. But I do. Her Mom and Dad play with her, but they play with her on their terms, whereas Grandma Steve plays with her on her terms. Her weird-arsed 2 1/2 year old games that are completely incomprehensible to anyone else. Like: Here, Grandma Steve. Here are your Letters! (and she hands me several carefully selected refrigerator magnet alphabet letters). Now sit down here! (on the sodding floor in their dining room, over by the combination glass topped/wrought iron credenza like table that incorporates a twelve bottle wine rack into the base; Grandma Steve hopes that soon she will decide that 'big girls' play at the table in comfortable chairs. This sitting on the floor ****e is killing my knees and aging bum) Now, touch the tiger's toes (The aforesaid table is flanked by knee high plaster gargoyle type heraldic lions that she calls 'tigers'). We then touch the tigers's toes, and put our fingers into the tigers's mouths, and say 'ow! The tiger bit me! Silly tiger!' and then laugh like loons. Each week she incorporates a new element into the game. This week it involved adding the antics of 'giraffe and zebra', realistic plastic animal figures I bought for her because I know she has this fascination with giraffes and zebras, as well as upping the number of refrigerator magnet letters from 3 to 5. Which, when she counts them, always come out as '7', because she always counts the larger letters twice, even though I have cautioned her about this over-zealous behaviour.

The glory of being Grandma Steve is that I can take an almost clinical approach to the delight this little booger brings me. Normal parents can't do that. They're so overwhelmed with the whole business of parenting, earning a living, and being exhausted that they can't sit and analyze, from a drunkard/drug addict's perspective, the antics of their children.

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