Berlichtingen Posted June 18, 2007 Author Share Posted June 18, 2007 In the dim and distant past, the BFC forum would have some luckless halfwit come along and provide I useful service to all the other halfwits out there. They would, in a moment of self deluded originality, start an entire thread posing the question, "What the hell is the Peng Thread?" Now, as is our modus operandi, we would mock, hound, insult and generally make merry with these poor, unfortunate, mentally disabled twits. Our efforts were so effective that the unwashed masses trembled in fear and put forth that question no longer. Alas, we did not see the disservice were were doing to our own good selves. Without these questions, how was a budding halfwit to learn of the glory that is this The Mutha Beautiful Thread And It Will Always Be Here? He has but two choices. Firstly, he can approach the scholars in the Cheesy Pancake Thread and inquire of their vast sums of knowledge. After many a GRRRR! and [smiley executed before it to grace our stage], our hapless halfwit walks away a newly minted quarterwit. Secondly, he may take the plunge and try to learn for himself what this Grand Experiment, this Révolution de Mockery, truly is about. Some swim for a bit, grow bored and paddle away. Some (Iron Gaylord Whateverthehell) sink like a stone, drawn down into the murky depths by their own density. Some 'get it' and their IQ ratchets upwards toward that of a three toed sloth. Yet others stick it out with no real understanding, trying in vain to suss out what the hell this is all about... not unlike a man pounding his head with a coconut in hopes that the sun will turn purple. So, for those that would see a purple sun, I give you a part of an interview that was given to a famous man that had the misfortune to stumble into our beloved home. His name is withheld to protect his reputation... Q: So... now that you are out of the asylum, can you tell us what it was like... in the Pool? A:We had a great time in the Pool, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about in the Pool. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things, until Madmatt came over and told us to start a new thread. Q: While you were there, did you learn what their secret agenda is? A:They want to kill. I mean, they wanna, they wanna kill. Kill. They wanna, they wanna see, they wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in their teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL. The interview ended abruptly at that point as the celebrity began jumpin' up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," I hope this clears things up for the remaining halfwits. if not, assuming you can pull him away from his turnips long enough, you might see if Alex will sell you a clue. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Alex doesn't sell clues ... mind you the rest is spot on. And THIS is why we must be ever vigilant, ever watchful, ever vigil ... oh, I said that didn't I. Well we've just got to keep an eye out is what. And ESPECIALLY for those "take anyone with a pulse and you can cheat on that" losers in the Gawdawfuller thread. A GROUP THAT WILL TAKE ANYBODY IS FULL OF NOBODIES! Our members have been tested (no bauhaus, not that kind of member ... no I'm quite sure ... please don't, no, don't ... {sigh} ... yes bauhaus it's very nice ... I'm sure the girls do ... yes, the ribbon is a nice touch} where was I, oh yes, they've been tested in the furnace of the CessPool and been found of stern enough metal to be among the select. Others, those found wanting in the grand scheme of things, usually find THEMSELVES to be wanting and just ... go away. Some, granted, have to be shown the door to Coventry. Let us not falter, let us not waiver in our determination to ensure the purity of the CessPool ... is that an oxymoron? Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 You waste oxygen and are a moron. Close enough. Or as close as you're ever likely to be. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by rleete: You waste oxygen and are a moron. Close enough. Or as close as you're ever likely to be. You see Berli this is EXACTLY what happens when we allow entrance to sub-standard material. Here we are engaged in a serious discussion of the role and future of the MBT and rleete takes advantage of the slim opportunity offered by my post to make derogatory remarks about the Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread. It wasn't like that in the OLD POOL! Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rleete: You waste oxygen and are a moron. Close enough. Or as close as you're ever likely to be. You see Berli this is EXACTLY what happens when we allow entrance to sub-standard material. Here we are engaged in a serious discussion of the role and future of the MBT and rleete takes advantage of the slim opportunity offered by my post to make derogatory remarks about the Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread. It wasn't like that in the OLD POOL! Joe </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Seeing as the vast majority of {serious} and {joking} tags have been added for either Abbotts or Emrys benefit I suggest (as I always do) crucifixation of the relevant parties... oh & of the irrelevant stoat too. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by bauhaus: Ahhh, the Old Pool.... If I actually shook my thingy every time I wrote "I'm shaking my thingy in your general direction," the darned thingy would have fallen off. Not a terribly bad result, what? Do we need his thingy? I'd respond with an emphatic NO! We'd be better off if he didn't have a thingy on which to fixate. Indeed, perhaps, for once, bauhaus would fix his stare somewhere above the belt-buckle. But I digress. Have I expounded of late on my hatred of the bauhausian one? For it is he I hate, and he I wish to extirpate. BAUHAUS! Send me feckin' scenario with which I can beat you soundly around the head and shoulders (no hitting (or stroking) below the belt). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Here we are engaged in a serious discussion...Exactly. First rule is to hit 'em when they're distracted. Of course the second is to kick them when they're down. Now, where's my lawyer? I think OFJ scuffed my boot with his chin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by bauhaus: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rleete: You waste oxygen and are a moron. Close enough. Or as close as you're ever likely to be. You see Berli this is EXACTLY what happens when we allow entrance to sub-standard material. Here we are engaged in a serious discussion of the role and future of the MBT and rleete takes advantage of the slim opportunity offered by my post to make derogatory remarks about the Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread. It wasn't like that in the OLD POOL! Joe </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Seeing as the vast majority of {serious} and {joking} tags have been added for either Abbotts or Emrys benefit I suggest (as I always do) crucifixation of the relevant parties... oh & of the irrelevant stoat too. Nonsense, Crucifixion has NEVER been part of the Peng Challenge Thread tradition ... neither has crucifixation for that matter. No lad, as the keeper of the Sacred Traditions of the Peng Challenge Thread it is my bound duty to uphold those traditions and not add to them ... of course traditions are only become traditions when they are repeatedly used and there must have been a first time ... NO, no, I'll not be swayed to allow Crucifixion for either Emrys or Abbott ... barring an order from the Olde Ones which I'm bound to uphold of course. As to stoat I'm unable to determine what it is you think he's done that's wrong ... of course he's done nothing right, but then neither have you. I propose ... DOUBLE SECRET COVENTRY ... of course since it's not only secret but Double Secret we can't let them know and we will, therefore, be obligated to treat them as if they were NOT sent to Coventry ... that'll put the fear of Gawd into them. Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted June 18, 2007 Share Posted June 18, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: snipped...that'll put the fear of Gawd into them.Sometimes Joe, I suspect that you're perhaps secretly Belgian! I mean jeez, they'd fricking love you over there in Brussels measuring our bananas and beetroot and pickles and stuff. 'Secret Coventry'!! Whatever next? 'Wanted Oddstralia!'?! No Joe, I say you should bare your fangs for a change & have done with it... Heck it'd likely be the most popular decision that you've yet made! I mean, who WOULDN'T want Abbott, Emrys & stoat Cruisifixed? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: No Joe, I say you should bare your fangs... But that means he'll have to take them out of the glass on his nightstand. He keeps them there because they don't fit too well, them being mail order, don't ya know, and when he growls, it's invariably with a lisp. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Wankers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by rleete: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Here we are engaged in a serious discussion...Exactly. First rule is to hit 'em when they're distracted. Of course the second is to kick them when they're down. Now, where's my lawyer? I think OFJ scuffed my boot with his chin. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Well, I was hoping for one with a shred of moral decency, but I guess I can't wait until hell freezes over. And your piccy has that steely-eyed gaze of those that have no concience to trouble them. I was going to set you to suing the pants off Old Foul Joe, but it looks like someone beat you to it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Nonsense, Crucifixion has NEVER been part of the Peng Challenge Thread tradition ... Joe Apparently you have completely forgotten Berli's home movies set to the tune of "Sympathy for the Devil". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: The wood chipper is over there This the one? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: The potato famine had less to do with the skill of the farmers than with the importation of fungus which led to disaster. And on that note, may I just say: you Canadian sods still aren't letting us bring potatoes in. Do you know how fecking ridiculous it is that I have to dump my 5 lb. bag of Idahos at the border, and then drive into Rainy River and go to the 'Beaver Market', and buy a 5 lb. bag of Idaho potatoes? What the hell kind of racket is Canada running under the guise of 'preventing the possible spread of potato fungi from America'? This is all about the Mad Cow quarantine of your nasty, infected beef, isn't it? And your freaking potatoes are 2-3 times as expensive as ours! And the Canadian dollar is strong! Scam artists. You're probably turning around and selling the potatoes we have to dump at the border back to us. I'm marking a bag and turning it over this year, then heading over to the 'Beaver Market' to look for the evidence... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: You see Berli this is EXACTLY what happens when we allow entrance to sub-standard material. Here we are engaged in a serious discussion of the role and future of the MBT and rleete takes advantage of the slim opportunity offered by my post to make derogatory remarks about the Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread. It wasn't like that in the OLD POOL! Joe While I will agree that rleete is a weak link, some would go so far as to say missing link, I feel compelled to point out that this is an example of exactly what it was like in the OLD POOL. There's far to much hand holding and gettong in touch with the feminine side going on (ok, Seanachai isn't touching anything feminine... in fact, let's not think about what he's touching). It has become, dare I say... friendly. Not that is a vile abomination in the eyes of the Mother Beautiful Thread. Where's the hate people?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 THAT'S IT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! EVERYONE STEP BACK FROM ME AN ABBOTT, AND LET THE CAGE MATCH PRO-CEED! You boys just leave him to me, and stop chimin' in, 'cause I don't want him claiming later that the front of his pants were wet from everyone spittin' on him, rather than because he'd pissed himself in shame and fear of facin' me! ABBOTT! Instead of postin' your eternal pictures of your automotive strap-ons, why don't you go put on your nicest, frilliest 'You Can Kiss the Redneck' grilling apron and make me a big breakfast of bacon, ham, scrambled eggs, american fries and toast? And while you're at it, why don't you stop hiding behind your greasy bill-cap, clutched in your hands in front of you like a copy of your lines from 'The Magnificent Seven', bobbing and bowing like some poor peasant farmer asking for help against 'the Peng Challenge Thread banditos' that are oppressing you, making you take their postings to your wife to show her how hard your life is, and shuffling your leather sandals in the dust before the Justicar saying 'Senor, they come to the place where we wash our trucks, and they steal from us our manhood!' DAMN! IT TAKES IT RIGHT OUT OF A MAN TO WRITE SENTENCES THAT COMPLICATED! Abbott, you pouty little big girl's blouse! Stop slapping your own face to raise a hand-print and bruise to display to everyone else to prove 'what a monster that Seanachai fella is'. I offer to lead you into the light and buy you a drink, and the next thing I know you're standing in front of the whole Thread with a torn shirt and tears on your face, hugging yourself and weeping about how 'the Liberals' had your pants around your ankles, attempting to hug you. You know less about my politics than you do about fornicating with sheep. Which is good, because it means that folk in the Western States can still eat lamb without fear of you having provided the gravy. Mostly, anyways. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: You know less about my politics than you do about fornicating with sheep. Which is good, because it means that folk in the Western States can still eat lamb without fear of you having provided the gravy. Mostly, anyways. You will never fully understand my gratitude to the powers that be for making me detest sheep (other than as a provider of wool) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: In the dim and distant past... ... ... ... ...I hope this clears things up for the remaining halfwits...As all the gods are my witness, that's the longest sodding thing I've seen Berli post in...years. Maybe ever. Made me feel good to read it. Makes a man think. He's not really that different from you and I. He flays the skin off a man one leg at a time, just as you and I would. If we did that sort of thing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted June 19, 2007 Author Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: As all the gods are my witness, that's the longest sodding thing I've seen Berli post in...years. Maybe ever. Made me feel good to read it. Makes a man think. He's not really that different from you and I. He flays the skin off a man one leg at a time, just as you and I would. If we did that sort of thing. Reflecting back across the years, I am struck by the realization that this is perhaps the shortest post by the Olde Gasbag. I, for one, always knew you had it in you to make your posts simple, as you are likely the most simple person I have had the great misfortune to meet. Brevity, suits you. Why, brevity fits you like the tiniest condom fits that shriveled up thing you laughingly refer to as your manhood. I think, and I suspect all would agree, that you should keep practicing at it, refine it, become the master of brevity. You will be a better man for it and it will have the added benefit of saving the rest of us from wading through your novella length tripe. Go forth youn... old man and say little. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Reflecting back across the years, I am struck by the realization that this is perhaps the shortest post by the Olde Gasbag. I, for one, always knew you had it in you to make your posts simple, as you are likely the most simple person I have had the great misfortune to meet. Brevity, suits you. Why, brevity fits you like the tiniest condom fits that shriveled up thing you laughingly refer to as your manhood. I think, and I suspect all would agree, that you should keep practicing at it, refine it, become the master of brevity. You will be a better man for it and it will have the added benefit of saving the rest of us from wading through your novella length tripe. Go forth youn... old man and say little. At last, in these increasingly lengthy posts from the most laconic of posters, my triumph is clear. My work here is done. Let's ride! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted June 19, 2007 Share Posted June 19, 2007 Originally posted by Seanachai: I mean, who doesn't remember that photo that Elvis posted of Peng in the halfwit hat, holding a glass of whisky and a budweiser? He looked EXACTLY like that guy. That would be the photo of a young, drunk Henry Winkler posing as Peng? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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