Do I Challenge Peng or Wait for Roxy?

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

Nothing has yet been revealed, so feel free to SHUT THE F Oh, give me a break... yeah, I know... I know... I said, I know... bother

[Buzzsaw]

The Battle of Dummkopfenburg

Setup

As Oberfeldwebel Buzzsaw gazed down at the peaceful village, his thoughts turned to his American cousin, Tommy Buzzsaw. Tommy had come to Berlin 1936 as an alternate decathlete for the American team (Tobias was on the German pistol team). They had gotten along extremely well. Along with the unusual surname, Tommy had inherited the family’s smoldering good looks, and the “Buzzsaw Boys”, as they were known, became immensely popular with the female competitors in the athletes village. Tommy and Tobias had felt personably responsible for the exhausted Swedish gymnastics team’s poor performance in the games, but the Buzzsaw Boys gave those girls top marks on their scorecards.

The intervening years, with the rising tide of Hitler’s mania, and the dramatic ebb and flow of the war, had all but washed away the memories of those exuberant days. The German branch of the family had heard the news of Tommy’s decorations for bravery during the allied invasion of France, and Tobias had received numerous decorations himself. He placed little value on those medals: baubles distributed by men whose definitions of bravery and duty were inexorably tied with loyalty to the party. Tobias had never been a supporter of the Nazis, but he fought on out of a sense of duty to his fellow soldiers. The respect of his men was Tobias’ greatest reward. He had that rare combination of calm under fire, and the ability to take decisive action that earned a soldier’s unwavering loyalty. They would follow him into death.

Eying the village, Tobias hoped that he would not be leading his men into death today, but he had just received his orders, and he wasn’t happy. They were supposed to occupy the village, and protect two key objectives from a suspected enemy attack. It was another exercise in idiocy. The village itself was of no strategic importance, and the objectives were of no military value. But, Tobias knew the truth behind the orders. The village was Dummkopfenburg, and it was the birthplace of the battalion commander, Commandant Rune. The two objectives were places of special importance to the Commandant: the small grove of trees on the left was the burial place for Rune’s pet hamster Fritz (killed in a tragic sledding accident two years before the war), and the two story structure in the center of town, “The Sisters of Mercy Orphanage for the Blind and Olfactory Impaired”, was the location of Rune’s first and only sexual encounter (the orphanage was closed after the “incident”, and a city ordinance was passed requiring that all pets be kept indoors after dark) . Buzzsaw silently cursed the fates for burdening him with such an incompetent battalion commander.

The company officers, having long ago recognized Oberfeldwebel Buzzsaw’s preternatural grasp of combined arms tactics, had asked that he devise a plan for taking and holding Dummkopfenburg. As Tobias surveyed the forces at his disposal, what worried him most was the enemy. There was precious little intelligence available, but it was known that the Athkatla Raiders were in the area. The Raiders had a reputation for leaving behind piles of corpses. Granted, they were piles of Raider corpses, but such blatant disregard for his men would make Athkatla an unpredictable enemy. Signals had also recently intercepted messages from Athkatla’s camp requesting a resupply of extra large fishnet stockings, several vacuum cow milkers (with extra small teat cups), and phonographs of Ethel Merman. Was this part of some devilish psych-ops plan, or merely for Athkatla’s personal entertainment? Oberfeldwebel Buzzsaw had an eerie feeling that he would have the answer to that question within the next thirty-five minutes.

To be continued...

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

But you always say that. I think it's because you're stuck in the middle of your own bodily funk. Something I'd not wish on one of my worst enemies. Ironically, you're one of my worst enemies and it's happening to you.

Isn't the universe a grand and wonderful place?

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

Check your clothes. Check your holey sneakers. Try bathing. Because I'll believe that you smelled anything other than yourself, AssMaster, on the day I ask to hear another "jolly sing-song" from SomeNachos.

Papa

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley

But you always say that.<HR>

Ummmm, I beg to differ, I have uttered it but only once, and by her own words she admits to being a fraud. I rest my case!

[Lars]

A sing-song you want, is it Seanachai?

Roight then,

O Canada! That foul and hateful land.

True wintry loathing in all good men command.

With nauseous hearts we see the source,

The Frozen Boreal, barren and a place to pee.

From far and wide, O Canada,

We'd like to put the *BOOT* in thee.

Berli keep their money worthless and away from me.

O Canada I come to piss on thee,

O Canada I come to piss on thee,

Now that I have all my assault boats working again I will be descending on the Canucks like the wrath of the righteous.

I will of course be staying on the civilized moose-free side of the border at {censored to keep you lot from calling the Mounties, down bauhaus, down, they are cops in clown suits and they will...oh never mind, have at 'em, they'd probably enjoy it, see if you can get 'em honkin...} and only crossing when vast quantities of beer demand my patriotic duty.

And let me tell you, this Remote Entry Permit B.S. deserves to be pissed on. Friggin Canucks, if they think I'm driving all the way to Grand Portage and paying $50 to fish their side of the lake for the day, well, I for one am drinking lots of beer, arcing one to their side and we can argue if I'm actually in Canada or not at that point with a suddenly sodden border guard.

To all who are winning, your turns will be placed on floppy disk and tossed into the campfire to warm my soul while I shout curses at the wankers to the north.

To those whom are losing {and you know who you are, Simon}, your suffering will recommence when I return on Tuesday.

P.S. – To those winning. It is my birthday this weekend. Why don't you get me something I want and surrender.

Hosers.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Roxy:

Personal apologies will be sent to the following members of the MBT within 24 hours:

Apology recieved and accepted. Your deception makes perfect sense to me Roxy, and as far as I'm concerned, the folks you are e-mailing are the only ones who need know the details

[Speedbump]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Personal apologies will be sent to the following members of the MBT within 24 hours:

Apology recieved and accepted. Your deception makes perfect sense to me Roxy, and as far as I'm concerned, the folks you are e-mailing are the only ones who need know the details</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Roxy:

I'm sorry guys, but:

[sERIOUS] I learned a great deal about the Cesspool over the last 36 hours or so. It has a wonderful history, well preserved. The people are marvelous beyond the wildest imaginations of the outer boarders (and formerly myself) for so many reasons I don't have time to list them. There is no place like The Pool on the net. I doubt there will be anything comparable to The Pool in my lifetime.

I credit this almost uncanny creation mainly to the The Olde Ones and perhaps Sherriff Joe Shaw; but I know there are others who have contributed significantly over the years to the personality of The Pool. Again, too many to list in the short time I have here, but I have been reading. I stand in complete awe of you guys, and what you have created here.

My newly discovered knowledge of The One True Thread has caused me extreme consternation, and a sleepless night, for Roxy is a fraud. What began as a spur of the moment little joke, I let get way out of hand. I offer no excuses for my behaviour other than I did not understand the MBT as well as I thought I did. I had too much time on my hands, and exhibited poor judgment. I became somewhat obsessed with infiltrating the MBT as Roxy.

The only way I can purge this horrible feeling I have is to come clean and apologize from the bottom of my heart. Personal apologies will be sent to the following members of the MBT within 24 hours:

1) First and foremost is the honorable Seanachai for reasons he will understand.

2) Joe Shaw, because his feelings for the MBT run very deep, and I caused him some hypertension, I'm sure. He suffered for my amusement.

3) Persephone and Berlichtingen, Far too fine a pair of human beings to be victimized by my deception.

To the rest of you, please accept this post as my apology. As penance I should write every last one of you who posted in the last 36 hours a personal apology, but time does not permit.

My reputation in the community will be left to the mercy of those this revelation has hurt the most, the people who will receive a personal apology. If they wish to reveal my identity so be it. I will NOT ask them not to. [/sERIOUS]

Is it time for a little sing/song now?

Sometimes a joke can go too far ... In my defense ... I don't really have one. Except for a desire to see the CessPool thrive and not be the subject of clowns and neer-do-wells who would pose as something that they are not. ... It matters because this thread matters. Oddly enough, and in our own odd way, we are scrupulously honest with each other ... I despise the thought of a poser coming here, someone that would be laughing behind their hand at the swell joke they were playing. No doubt that says much about me. ...

As to your true identity, we require nothing more than a general location and a valid email address. In light of Seanachai's previous post, that email address may either be submitted to an Olde One or a hotmail type account may be used. What you wish to share with the group beyond that ... is up to you.

Joe

[ August 07, 2002, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[MrSpkr]

Wow. That took true courage, Roxy (or whatever your name is).

Hope to see you stick around for a bit.

Steve

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Roxy:

I'm sorry guys, but:

[And as the juggernaut of night thunders past the last dregs of day down the long hill of infinity something grey and heavy can be seen next to a sign in brighter crayons and PROTECTED BY A NON-ADHESIVE ANTI-AEROSOL LACQUER SO AS TO AVOID SPRAY OF ANY SORT FROM STREET ARTISTS. Anti-Nobbit trenches have been dug. A hoof taps on the box...}

Welcome, Roxy

Gimme More

Carrots.

*sniff* oh, well, I suppose that's decided then. Lady in Waiting.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

Our hero.

Roxy, send me that setup, dammit.

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

Our hero.

Roxy, send me that setup, dammit. </font>

[MrSpkr]

Because, you pillock, when one group of people are having a Solemn Moment (such as what followed Roxy's 'confession'), the last thing they want to hear is the neighborhood monkey boy beating his chest, flinging his ****e, and squawking "Ook! Ook! I told you so!"

Idjit.

Steve

[Panzer Leader]

So... I guess now isn't a good time to ask her if she's Hot?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Because, you pillock, when one group of people are having a Solemn Moment (such as what followed Roxy's 'confession'), the last thing they want to hear is the neighborhood monkey boy beating his chest, flinging his ****e, and squawking "Ook! Ook! I told you so!"

Idjit.

Steve

Well, partly that, and partly because we all, simply, really really like hitting you with a stick. Don't we? I know I do!

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by athkatla:

[/serious I'm sorry, I know this is the Peng and we are all a bit crazy at times, but why am I the one getting the stick, when Roxy came on here and lied and tried to deceive everyone, something that I suspected from the start cos of her apparent knowledge of the Peng etc. /serious

So, tell us, what was her deception? Oh! You don't actually know?! Quit jumping to conclusions

[athkatla]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Because, you pillock, when one group of people are having a Solemn Moment (such as what followed Roxy's 'confession'), the last thing they want to hear is the neighborhood monkey boy beating his chest, flinging his ****e, and squawking "Ook! Ook! I told you so!"

Idjit.

Steve

Oh so was she having a "Solemn Moment" when she was lieing and deceiving all of us? Suddenly because she apologises everything is ok, and I'm the bad boy for stating something that was right. Would she court so much attention and forgiveness if she was a guy? Come on, grow up, where I come from we call a spade a spade and if they don't happen to like it, well that's tough. And all I did was tell the truth.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy:

Personal apologies will be sent to the following members of the MBT within 24 hours:

Apology recieved and accepted. Your deception makes perfect sense to me Roxy, and as far as I'm concerned, the folks you are e-mailing are the only ones who need know the details</font>

[athkatla]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

[/serious I'm sorry, I know this is the Peng and we are all a bit crazy at times, but why am I the one getting the stick, when Roxy came on here and lied and tried to deceive everyone, something that I suspected from the start cos of her apparent knowledge of the Peng etc. /serious

So, tell us, what was her deception? Oh! You don't actually know?! Quit jumping to conclusions</font>

[Buzzsaw]

Originally posted by athkatla:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla:

I knew there was something fishy about that one, even stated it when she/he/it first appeared, with my famous words, " I smell a rat".

Our hero.

Roxy, send me that setup, dammit. </font>

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Oh so was she having a "Solemn Moment" when she was lieing and deceiving all of us? Suddenly because she apologises everything is ok, and I'm the bad boy for stating something that was right. Would she court so much attention and forgiveness if she was a guy? Come on, grow up, where I come from we call a spade a spade and if they don't happen to like it, well that's tough. And all I did was tell the truth.

Since you don't know what the deception was, you are hardly in any position to cast stones. Personally, I find the deception so minor as to be laughable. That it has caused Roxy concern is unfortunate. That you use it for your own personal 'witch hunt' is reprehensible. Would she be treated differently if she was a guy? Possibly, but you seem to be the only one here that has a real problem with that.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by athkatla:

but why am I the one getting the stick,

Oh, I'm not hitting you with a stick for anything you've done. I find that beating you about the head and shoulders with monotonous regularity to be soothing in its own way. Sort of like a physical mantra, if you will. Oh sure, you could say that it's merely cathartic, but this actually has a Zen-like quality. Much like R_Lete's attitude towards returning PBEM's.

Which is my less than subtle way to get that raving git to send me a move, even though just thinking about playing Crodaburg is about as enjoyable as a groin pull, I'd like to finish it someday.

Gits.

[Roxy]

[serious, well mostly]

If I understand Joe Shaw's reaction to the Roxy apology posted above correctly, there are actually two votes for Roxy to live on as a Lady In Waiting to the One True Thread, among those who received personal apologies. If Seanachai feels the same way, then Roxy will live on in the MBT!

If Roxy does get the opportunity to live on, maybe she can add a little to the Mutha Beautifulsimply because of her hidden identity. It certainly won't be because of her wit. Only The Olde Ones,Lady Persephone, and Sherriff Shaw will know the identity of Roxy, unless they see fit to reveal it. The rest of you can enjoy speculating if you're at all interested. You know, something like Watergate and Deep Throat. BTW, Deep Throat was Al Haig.

Dorosh, the Lady In Waiting is currently in limbo so your setup from her is also in limbo. When Roxy hears from Seanachai, and IF she hears the right thing, Roxy will send you a setup. Until then, there is no Roxy, just a numbnut who will now tell you to SOD OFF as far and as fast as possible. Roxy of course won't talk to you that way. You were to be her first, afterall.

Joe, If I misunderstood your post, please correct me so Roxy doesn't get her hopes up.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Speedbump:

Can anyone name anything of value coming out of the former Penal colony.

ummm...

6) AC/DC (good)

7) Air Supply (yucky, but at lease we got them out of the country)

8) Little River Band (yucky)

9) Bee Gees (yucky again)

10) INXS (good)

11) Olivia Newton John (what a shiela)

Inventions

11) Lawn Mower (hand powered - you don't need it tho really because it's better to sit and have a beer than mow the lawn)

12) Utility motorvehicle (the one with the tray on the back, good for holding lots of beer)

13) Refrigeration Plant (for chilling lots of beer)

14) Electric drill (for making shelving to stand the beer on)

15) Aspro (for helping with the day after)

16) Car Radio (to sing along with, while driving under the influence)

17) Atomic absorption spectrophotometer (probably to analyse the chemical structure of beer)

18) Black Box flight recorder (it was initially designed to be a place to store beer during a flight)

19) Inflatable aircraft escape slide (was really working on inflatable sheep, but was drunk at the time)

to be continued (for annoyance value)

Mace