Brown Bear Challenge Thread

[Pack Kuma]

Hi, I've been lurking this thread for several years now, and finally registered. Noticed that newbies seem to feel excluded from the grog community, which is too bad, but largely related to the insider jokes that clog up the bandwith.

This is a challenge thread for those who think that the ancient "Pengo" thread smells too much like fish, ancient insider jokes, and the whiskey stained smokey cowskin of an old boy's club.

The Rules:

1) This is a place for *everyone*, including newcomers, to challenge someone to a game of Combat Mission. If this interests you, READ ON.

2) This is also a place for those new to Combat Mission to discuss simple questions on confusing issues if they don't feel like searching through 4 years of threads (but have read the manual). If you've ever wondered, "why doesn't my fast moving vehicle slow down when it suddenly sees 10 T-34's appear nearby?" here is the place.

2) Unlike That Other Thread , Keep it civil. Save the good-natured yet oh-so-clever ribbing for the battlefield.

3) No longstanding, obscure, insider jokes that cause newcomers to feel left out--be non-exclusive and original. NO maladroit quotage of Monty Python to make up for a lack of native humor-generating ability. :eek:

4) We're relying on new folks to give us the BUMP we need to compete with that other thread. So if you'd like to continue reading obscure and unfunny insider jokes on that other thread, STOP READING. (I won't even venture a guess as to what "SOD OFF!" means. I picture a late 1800's farmer on the Great Plains heroically ploughing his fields.)

5) Also, no expectantly making popcorn, opening a beer, and pulling up a chair is allowed when someone begins trolling. Rather, here we *ignore* trolling instead of witnessing it as a spectator sport.

[Pvt. Ryan]

I am not going to crack open a beer as I haven't even had breakfast yet, but I am sure some of the "Pengos" will be by shortly to rip you a new one.

[Joe Shaw]

No, I see no reason for that at this point. Everyone's entitled to their opinion ... even if they are from Yale

I DO suspect that this may be moved to the Opponent Finder forum however. But that's MadMatt's call.

The Peng Challenge Thread is not everyone's cup of tea (or coffee to continue a current topic), and having a place for otherwise minded folk to challenge might be a good thing. There was, at one time, an Anti-Peng Thread going on the General board but it seems to have lost some steam.

As to the inside jokes and old boys club atmosphere ... why yes, that's the way we like it.

Good luck to you.

Joe

[Captain Wacky]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

The Peng Challenge Thread is not everyone's cup of tea (or coffee to continue a current topic), and having a place for otherwise minded folk to challenge might be a good thing. There was, at one time, an Anti-Peng Thread going on the General board but it seems to have lost some steam.

The Anti-Peng thread is still going strong, but it morphed into a CMMC campaign last winter. Now it's begun anew since the arrival of CMBB.

[Pack Kuma]

I don't intend for this to be "anti-Peng" so much as "Peng Alternative." I've no objection to the clubby atmosphere, but would like to see a less intimidating, ongoing thread for those who don't know where to start, but would like to develop that same sense of camraderie. Everything has its jargon and lore, and I guess Peng is part of the body of CM culture, but it is a bit intimidating, I think, for newcomers.

So this isn't intended to be strictly an opponent finder, but rather a beginner thread and "welcome mat."

Oh, and Hamster references *are* allowed. (Got six...wait no five at home).

[BulletRat]

Best told in a pub by someone who won't stuff up the lines.

A big brown bear walks into a beefsteak bar and says to the barman, "Barman, bring me a beer."

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and belches broadly.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and starts behaving badly.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and badmouths the barman.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and breaks a beaker.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and takes a bite out of the bar.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers, and under no circumstances will we bring beer to bears who take drugs."

"Eh?" says the bear, somewhat surprised. "I don't take drugs."

"Really?" says the barman. "What about that bar bit you ate?"

[Pack Kuma]

Sorry, but that was horriblis.

[Pvt. Ryan]

See, is this what you want? For the record, I think it would be nice to have a Peng alternative, but the forum already provides what you asked. The forum as a whole is a place to discuss all CMBB related issues and Newbies can ask anything they want. There is a Tips and Tricks section for those sorts of questions. You can ignore the ancient insider jokes, or you can learn what they mean, or somefink. The Peng Thread is an exception that is tollerated mostly to keep all that nonsense in one place. However, when the cats are away the hamsters will play. What you are asking for is what the forum is all about anyway.

[Pack Kuma]

For me the Peng Thread is clubby. That's fine, this whole forum is clubby (it a wargaming niche sort of way), but I think that it would be best to have a kind of open club for newcomers; toq quote Cheers, "where everybody knows your name...and they're always glad you came."

If the Peng thread is the one and only exception, I think that it needs to be a little less opaque for new folks. I've been lurking around here for years and *still* haven't figured it out. I don't think that one small group should have the sole right to be exceptional. (Sorry if the tone of this sounds like I'm angry, I'm not).

[Silvio Manuel]

It sounds like a solution might be to not take anti-newbie razzing so seriously as newbies are generally very welcome anywhere in the main forum, but will surely get the "glad-hand" if they dare to you're hoping up and down on a Pengo stick (sorry, couldn't help it).

The Tips & Tricks section is great for newbies...b/w the Anthology of Useful Posts and all the other knowledge junkies that keep an eye on that section, you'll get the goods.

[Incognito]

Some might think that in so"thinkingman's" games like CM or other strategy game forums people might have better manners or atleast useless spamming would be less common...well as PengThePingPong proves it's not. It's even organized.

(Not that I care a ****)

Well:

prattle bable and rattle all over again.

SpaceHamsters here to take the chalenge noob nor not.

[Silvio Manuel]

Better manners? Where? Ppl here sometimes get a bix excited when you ask a newb question w/o using "search" or reading the FAQ. Other than that, I couldn't imagine a better group. The Peng Challenge is (mostly) kept to the one undying thread, which is respectfully limited by that group to 300 posts lest they crash the Forum. There are heated political discussions but the rude are often eaten (to quote H.Lecter) or rather warned/banned if they violate the Forum agreement we all signed when registering here.

[Pack Kuma]

What I'm saying isn't so much about rudeness. It's that the Peng thread is unintelligible to those not in the club. Any "traveling men" here? If so you get the point. Like bumbling into a lodge for the first time when everyone's got their aprons on. That's why I'm suggesting an alternative.

It's like if I had once told a joke three years ago to my friends, say about something named "Hyperdrox." Every time you log onto the forum you see that the biggest thread is about some variation of "Hyperdrox," however, you were not in on the original joke, so you don't understand when people say, "Are you sure you're taking your Hyperdrox?" or "I'm throwing down the Hyperdrox gauntlet." You want to be a part of this thread since it seems that's where it's happenin', but if you ask someone what Hypodrox is, they say, "here, have a tasty turnip," or "don't ask, don't tell." So over time "Hypodrox" becomes something you avoid, an eyesore, like "oh, there's the newest incarnation of that incomprehensible in-club thread...AGAIN." That what I mean by being opaque and exclusive. Note I'm not trying to flame anyone or start a war, it's just that in-jokes ultimately foster resent from those denied access. It would be fine if the Peng thread wasn't so incomprehensible to those who aren't in on Code Purple. As it is I think it is possibly annoying to some--like a clan. Again, I'm not trying to flame anyone, it's just that I've been lurking this board for several years and have noticed this trend, and I think it may be subtly affecting the CM community in a negative way.

Sorry for the long post...

[Panzer Leader]

Kuma... you forgot your Hyperdox, didn't you?

[Yeknodathon]

Errr, did someone say they had a turnip? I shouldn't call it Hyperdrox unless it was a Byzantine turnip... *sniff*... and I don't think they had 'em.

... I suppose it's an injoke... bother. I don't usually laugh on account that it hurts... so I shall just *honk* instead.

Yeknod

[ November 09, 2002, 06:40 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Yeknodathon]

Bother, I forgot

*honk*

Yeknod

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Bother, I forgot

*honk*

Yeknod

Dear Mr Yeknod {or whoever you are}.

I don't know what *honk* means. Could you tell me please?

Signed,

A N Ewbie.

[Abbott]

I don't know what *honk* means. Could you tell me please?

Simple AJ. Hold your breath, grasp your lower lip firmly, pull it over your head. Try it. Your exhale will be a *honk*. That’s a good Aussie.

[Boo Radley]

OK, the Peng thread has been going on for awhile, granted. But that's not to say that if you weren't there at the beginning, you'll never get in. I wandered in back in January of last year and was immediately told to SOD OFF, which I did, because I didn't follow the rules. So, I lurked for a bit, figured some of it out and went back. I played the game by their rules and they still haven't figured out how to get rid of me. And yes, there are a lot of "in" jokes. There always are within certain groups. I see repeated references in some of the grog threads and realize they must be in jokes, but it doesn't bother me. Why should it?

Sure the MBT isn't for everyone, but I fail to see why it gets so many people riled up. If you don't like it or want to deal with it, then ignore it. Why is that so hard to do?

[Shadow 1st Hussars]

When I was a kid I had a tedy bear named brown bear. He was a bear, he was brown, and I had no imagination.....

[Stuka]

Is the turnip small enough to be carried by a swallow?

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Is the turnip small enough to be carried by a swallow?

It depends on the following formula:

Swallow payload X = {A x B / C}

Where:

A = Wing beats per minute

B = Total feathered lift area

C = Weight of swallow

Thus, with a hypothetical 500 wing beats per minute with total lift area = 15sq cm, weight of swallow = 50grams

= 7500 / 50

= 150grams

Therefore in this case, the swallow could hypothetically lift a 150gram turnip. How far the thus encumbered swallow could actually FLY with a turnip strapped to it's back is a moot point, since this formula does not take into account the following factors:

Type of swallow {is it the Mongolian Crested Swallow or a Lesser American Speckled Swallow etc}

Wind speed and direction

Air temperature

Latitude/longitude

Moon's gravitational pull

Size and strength of the swallow's wing muscles

Sex of the swallow

etc, etc, etc.

As you can see, this is a most vexing question that can only be answered with in-depth scientific analysis. I call on the GROG PHYSICISTS to help out here.

Sir AJ

Member of The Royal Aviaculturists Society

[ November 09, 2002, 09:20 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[dalem]

So what is this thread about?

-dale

[dalem]

So what is this thread about?

-dale

[dalem]

So what is this thread about?

I don't get it.

-dale