Panzer Leader Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 The new, improved rules for the Cess-pool, watered down, mixed with milk, blended into a fine grit and served on a silver spoon via the hand of our Justicar, Joe "McCarthy" Shaw. Come one, come all, to the Jolly Sing-along known to some as The Peng Challenge Thread and to others as "A great big Waste of Bandwidth"... Oh, sod all, here take this: As has been the traditions since the time of yore, let this post serve as a warning to those who might tresspass in these slime-coated halls, and let it be a reminder to those once reviled and now (barely) tolerated. Remember, newbie scum, you too may one day achieve the impossible heights of being ignored and trod upon, but only, ONLY if you heed this post. Heed it well, for if you stray from the paths we lay out for you here, it will be to your own destruction and embarrassment. Part One: Sod Off! That's right, scat, go away, getatta here. You are neither needed nor wanted, regardless of what your comically overblown confidence whispers in your ear. You are not as smart as you think you are (neither are we, but we MAKE the rules). Failing rule one, you have but one recourse to maintain your equilibrium and stave off a horrible fate. Sound Off Like ya got a pair! Yeah, that's right: like a pair, not about your pair! We don't want simpering weenies and we don't want ball-glorius wankers either. Challenge someone, someone SPECIFIC and fight them in a battle. Tell your thrills of victory, your agonies of defeat on the field of battle, not tales of your high speed new computer or your rich daddy. Adendum: Challenge some one low, a scum-sucking-newbie like yourself, or, if you are brave and cock-sure, maybe even a squire (do we have any left?) but don't waste a kanigget's time, they will simply scoff and point out your failures of manhood, or even worse, simply ignore you. Now, if you think you can achieve the challenge, only one more thing separates you from the glories of the Mutha Beautiful: Have half a brain and a modicum of wit. If you can do this, then do it; if you can't (and you KNOW who you are) then perhaps silence is best. In short: SOD OFF! [ Edited because that is how it should be. ] You know, I hate you all with a renewed vigour for this, right? [ July 25, 2002, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Panzer Leader ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 25, 2002 Author Share Posted July 25, 2002 Look, I know I should'vnt started a new one, but yhis was so beautiful, it couldn't be stopped. And after all, isn't this what the MBT is really all about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Either kill it or edit out the obscenities and post some rules. You know how this is all supposed to work. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 ALthough I must admit, I do like the concept - I would have gone with something along the lines of "For the record, I am NOT the Peng Challenge Thread" or "For the Record, I, Peng, am NOT the Challenge Thread" or "Oh no Peng! My Challenge is late and the bunny is dead! Call Me!" or somefink. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Dorks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 25, 2002 Author Share Posted July 25, 2002 You spelled Caesar wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Stuka: OSGF normally hands out naked photos of his wee spaniel, but on occasion a turn comes along as well.Awww!! Ya lucky bugger, Stuka Nuka Puka Pants. I ain't got one o' them - yet!! <SMALL>Thank Satan for that!</SMALL> AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AUSSIEJEFF Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 <BIG>OH! THE HORROR!!!!</BIG> In a blatant attempt to gain valuable pre-CMBB experience by recreating the "Human Wave" attacks employed by the Russkies, FOGS just charged 8 x 12 man Rifle squads and 3 x 4 man HQ units at my right defensive flank over bare ground (in a stunningly creative QB designed by MOI). All I had to defend this murderous assault were 6 x SMG squads, 1 x Heavy SMG squad and 1 x HMG. In the space of 40 AWE INSPIRING seconds, his mighty attack force was reduced to a piffling 2 x 1/2 rifle squads. Thats right - 12 men left out of 108!! And certain death facing whats left in the next turn. GAWD!! The sound of screaming an' a-wailing by them dyin' greenbacks was AWFUL to hear. For HIM that is! Oh, did I mention I lost 0, zip, none of my brave defending Flosstruppen<SUP>tm</SUP> in that turn?? Ahhh! I really like playing FOGS. He dies with such - panache... Sir Flamin' AJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrene Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Panzer Leader: You spelled Caesar wrong.LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Woooo....I'm glad I read D-Roach's reply on the other thread before I read yours. The comedic timing...The genius! The part that sucks is that I'll not be able to explain to anybody else why that was funny... The shame... Gyrene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty's Double Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Oops, wrong door. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ales Dvorak Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Monty's Double: Oops, wrong door. Sorry.See. It's hard to be Alice in Wonderland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Monty's Double: Oops, wrong door. Sorry.Too right it's the wrong door, we already have enough animal fondlers in here, so sod off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty's Double Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Gifted amateurs I'll grant you, but there's no substitute for a professional. My rates are reasonable and I guarantee customer satisfaction. Discounts available if you supply your own stoat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 That's nice, but how about some rules? This little quasi political coup may rival the Situationist International helping the Nantes student union to publish 'On the Poverty of Student Life' with public funds back in '68, but it doesn't address the important issues of life like how worthless SSNs are. Get with the program man, or I'll have to beat you about the head with the Holy Book of your choice. In hardcover. And preferably a critical edition with 3000 pages of footnotes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Monty's Double: Gifted amateurs I'll grant you, but there's no substitute for a professional. My rates are reasonable and I guarantee customer satisfaction. Discounts available if you supply your own stoat.Ewe're disqusting. Gwash! Bleah! MrRgrs! I've got a live one for ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty's Double Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Last post before the rules arrive and his becomes a proper Peng thread. I've heard they shoot trespassers round these parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Only if they're worth a bullet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty's Double Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 That's better, I feel properly insulted now. Time to sod off........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug Beman Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by AussieJeff: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello! I've recently lost several dozen of my IQ points; somebody spiked my Fosters, I guess. Anyway, my life is so utterly empty and devoid of all that is joyful (I am even beginning to envy Mace his woolly dalliances) that I thought I'd try to stir up some trouble in the 'pool between the good and honorable DjB and the rather malodorous rat, in the guise of responding to one of DjB's well-written jabs. Sir AJ the FlamerVery well, yon ki-nigget. I accept the challenge you've made on the behalf of the pestilent one. Wouldst thou be willing to provide a battle going beyond typical QB silliness? DjB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Panzer Leader I thought, hoped really, that we'd plumbed the depths of your stupidity. I'd prayed that no further examples would be necessary to prove to the world what an utter, flaming idiot you really are. I'd dreamed (and we're talking NIGHTMARE time when you have a dream with Panzer Leader in it) that you simply could NOT post anything more ridiculous than you'd already posted. Alas, my hopes, my prayers and my dreams were not to be realized. It's bad enough that you hosted ONE MBT, it's worse yet that you hosted TWO IN A ROW, but then to actually read the first post ... there's no excuse for it lad. What part of "We tolerate no POLITICAL ... crusades" did you NOT understand? Yes, yes, it's written by Peng but this isn't the place for it lad! Even if meant in jest (and with Peng you can never be sure) it is still FAR to serious in tone to be posted here, let alone as the first post. And whatever made you think that just because something is written by Peng that it has relevance to the CessPool? Peng is real, but he is mythical in terms of the Peng Challenge Thread. It has long been established that the MBT is and will always be with or without Peng ... it's a Zen kind of thing. Also there's no rules and you hosted it, so it REALLY sucks. Joe p.s. See what you made me do, you made me break my resolution to post less, it's on your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 25, 2002 Author Share Posted July 25, 2002 What's this about rules? We have rules here? Listen, every "rule" you need to live by and prosper within the MBT is contained in Peng's Soliloquy and I will NOT change that post one iota. Look at Mrspkr: he wants me to edit that quote, take out all the foul language, smoothe it down a bit and feed it to the SSN's like pap, or like milk from the teat of OGSF's wee span'l. This I will not do! He is just a pinched old librarian from Small Town, USA, saying he fears for our children, when what he really fears is the new ideas these words generate. They will not change! There will be no censorship! OK, I'll add one rule that the first post didn't explicitly address to its fullest: Don't talk about your balls. Or anyone else's for that matter. To clarify, if you (the SSN) must bring balls into it, show you have balls by acts of courage and fearlessness, not by mealy-mouthed posturing. **** Pappy Git, send turn. We all know you're losing, but you can't stave off the inevitable forever. Yeknod Please do not allow your melancholy to slow the trickle of your turn-return even worse than it already is. cmplayer I will drive your troops before me as your womenfolk scream in lamentation. Glory Factor: I SAID 2-4 weeks! Can't you read?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Mike: DorksDo you need a hug? I bet you do, and you're too shy to say. Beman, Emrys, Dorosh! C'mon, lads, help me give Mike a hug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Panzer Leader I thought, hoped really, that we'd plumbed the depths of your stupidity. ... What part of "We tolerate no POLITICAL ... crusades" did you NOT understand? Yes, yes, it's written by Peng but this isn't the place for it lad! Even if meant in jest (and with Peng you can never be sure) it is still FAR to serious in tone to be posted here, let alone as the first post. [grit teeth] I agree with the Rent-a-Car on this one. [/grit teeth]. The MBT(may it shine as a beacon forever) is home to inmates of a great many political stripes. To post this quote where Sir Peng (in admittedly entertaining style) does his best Susan Sonntag/Michael Moore blame the victim schtick in this thread is just not appropriate. We need to stick to the best personal attack traditions of the Cess, and not drag politics into it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzer Leader Posted July 25, 2002 Author Share Posted July 25, 2002 All right. I see that some of you may have a point. Can we have a show of hands? My theory is: 1.) It was taken out of context, so can't really be seen as politically motivated. B.) The spite, gall, and insults are in the finest traditions of the MBT an it would serve as a beacon to all.. However, I see your all's point, and if it should be decided, preferably by the Olde Ones, with Joe Shaw directing their answers as usual, than I will be only too happy to delete the Mythic Peng's Soliloquy and replace it with something a bit more... traditional. I did not mean to disturb the force. We were on a countdown! The lock was fast approaching! I didn't want our latest litter of SSN's to be startled! I was innocent! I coulda been the champ!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted July 25, 2002 Share Posted July 25, 2002 And take thread out of the title, PL, it's as redundant as you are. Time for another Gamey Update!!! MrSpkr: He stuck me with the French. Nuff said? dalem: We're stumbling around in the dark in Shaw's little abortion. Other than trying to get anti-tank teams to shoot at each other there's not a lot going on. But I'm winning. Or at least not losing. Goanna: Interesting looking battle. I hold a long high ridge pointed at him. It's about to go off. OGSF: Tells me perhaps I bought too much infantry. Perhaps I didn't buy enough tanks. Ever think of that one? Gamey PIAT using 6 pounder git. AussieJeff: Sends me a map with heavy woods. And he seems to have bought nothing but flamethrowers. And I thought he referred to himself as flaming due to his dress habits. Simon: He's hiding in a big town. I'm going to find and throttle him. Buzzsaw: Things are starting to heat up. Trading artillery fire while he is still trying to get his corn fed lads in position for the final assault. I hate you all Now, in other news, I will be making my annual pilgrimage to Mecca. The link is for you rubes from Australia that have never seen the light. Check the photo gallery, new pics added daily. And somebody loan me some money, one of these is probably for sale. Turns out again next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts