Will CMBB Properly Model the Peng Challenge Thread?

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Well, you're an idjit, but at least I'm not getting emails asking me to reserve time on the woodchipper for you.

Carry on.

Seanachi

As a mark of me growing respect for yer and all the officials in the Pool, including Justicar, bailiffs etc etc, I offer a change of name to Idjit Yeknod. I think we can all agree that Idjit Yeknod slips off the tongue nicely and cunjures up image of dishonest, mercenary endeavour in some E. European backwater. Seanachi, I may have me little depressive-shizoid/paranoid bouts interspersed with the odd delusion of grandeur but in those few, rare moments when I catch up with reality and before me ego collapses back into despair I can babble me new name Idjit Yeknod to retain just a few more slithers of normal living.

Now, there is an issue of... me, ahem, ... me "conkers". Now, this is a bit delicate... Question: is it really for the good of the Pool to have a hormone-crazed donkey rampaging through the ssns, serfs, squires, kniggets et al to satisfy...? I don't think so. With the greatest humility and forelock-tugging I'd like 'em back. Don't care if they're in formaldahide, pickled or perched on top of a trifle. Anything to stop these roller-coaster feelings for Hanns.

Yeknod

[ January 30, 2002, 02:45 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by OGSF:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by PondScum:

Somewhat like OGSF, in fact.

Ye wretched wee gerbil scrotum snagged on a rusty nail! Hoo dare ye e'en menshun mah stankin' name ain' tha same braith as tha wun comin' oot yer colostomy challainged pustule o' a body!

WHERE'S MAH FESTERIN' SQUIRE??! Ah thought ye were cod-slappin' thas duck waddlin' methane clood? *BOOT* An' noo tha glistenin' smear o' ferret snot ha' tha temerity tae bae menshunin' ye Leige's verrrry name ain wun o' hais knuckle draggin' posts! An' wha are ye dwin aboot at? *BOOT* Ah expaict tae bae seein' sum *BOOT* battle rrreporrts tha put rrright thas slight upon mah honour! *BOOT* (Tha' ha' a neece ring tae at, eh?) *BOOT*

As fer bein' "conspicous bah hais absence"...*BOOT* *THWACK*...at's nae oop tae ye tae bae commentin' orn tha comin's an' gwin's o' a Kanniget....aspushly ye ain Leige!! *BOOT* *THWACK*

Noo gwin on wi' ye, ye scallywag an' bitch slap tha Pondmuck fer mae *tousle* *tousle*

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy</font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by PondScum:

but since I'm already down to words of one syllable I shall be forced to resort to grunting noises and pointing. Somewhat like OGSF, in fact. And I charge extra for those impressions.

[/QB]

PondDuck retract that slur on me Liege. Yer a cretinous ball of paddling idiocy. I have endured this pathetic charade of this damned village long enough - honour will be settled on a proper map with proper hills and propper FOs that can hide and sneak and crawl around in a proper, normal fashion.

PondDuck, me estimation of yer being Non-Nobbit is diminishing rapidly... yer, now classified as a Water-Nobbit on account of yer paddling... and Nobbits deserve a fart... I shall pluck you from your element for preparation of an orange kind... stuffed and mounted, you hear me? Stuffed and mounted PondDuck, to battle ON A FECKIN PROPER MAP

Yeknod

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Sledge59:

Try again, Yuknob. What you read was a backhanded insult. Now since you’ve lost your pair you’ll just have to make do and pretend that you still have your Donkeyhood and either Sound off or Sod off. If you can toss a deft challenge, I’d be more than happy to demonstrate an appropriate acceptance. Otherwise, don't bother me again!

(note in paddock log book BodgedInBehind: as idiots go, this one just about gets to a middling tedium. Domesticile: Albupukey. Profession: bodging.)

BodgedInBehind, yer don't sound like a Nobbit but I'm suspicious that you have the mental capacity of a Nobbit... to wit, feck all. Keep 'ammering yer thumb, the pain will come later.

Yeknod

[ January 30, 2002, 03:04 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

I'm suspicious that you have the mental capacity of a Nobbit

Oh you who's nick sounds like a sneeze, please answer a question about the vageries of Pommie slang.

A Nobbit would be the same as a Nong, or is it a dyslexic escapee from a Tolkien novel (much like Mensch)?

Mace

[ January 30, 2002, 05:08 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Mace:

Oh you who's nick sounds like a sneeze, please answer a question about the vageries of Pommie slang.

A Nobbit would be the same as a Nong, or is it a dyslexic escapee from a Tolkien novel (much like Mensch)?

Mace

...oh, gawd, are you the Lesser-Spotted Nobbit or just a Lesser-Nobbit?

No, I would say they aren't exactly Nongs - just vacant, cranium-challenged, optimistic innocents that scamper around saying optimistic, cranium-challenged sorts of things... consider backward, pesky ankle-biters... usually roam around in groups 'cause Nostrilasia is a big place and they're small 'un dim and get lost easily. Annoying thing is, they get lost in other people's places, like the paddock, rather than getting lost in a continent's interior, where they should be.

Like to sing about them, too, cause it confuses 'em, and it makes me particularly irritable. There's nothing more irritating than a cheerful Nobbit. Go away.

Yeknod

[ January 30, 2002, 05:44 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

There's nothing more irritating than a cheerful Nobbit. Go away.

OK.

Cop this then!

Mace

PS, This is what is referred to as psychological warfare. Basically it's also called playing with your mind - well it would be if you had one.

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

There's nothing more irritating than a cheerful Nobbit. Go away.

OK.

Cop this then!

Mace

PS, This is what is referred to as psychological warfare. Basically it's also called playing with your mind - well it would be if you had one.</font>

[Croda]

Mace-

It just dawned on me that you are the gittiest git who ever did git.

You also have hair that would make a 1984 Jersey Mall Chick envious.

On top of that, you live in a country whose greatest contribution to the world stage is the fact that it is so far away nobody goes there.

I am sending you a game in which I intend for you to die by the truckload.

Those trucks will then be driven to Afghanistan to help with the famine.

Then the Middle East can smell like Australia too.

Git.

Croda

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

PondDuck retract that slur on me Liege. Yer a cretinous ball of paddling idiocy. I have endured this pathetic charade of this damned village long enough - honour will be settled on a proper map with proper hills and propper FOs that can hide and sneak and crawl around in a proper, normal fashion.

Idiot Donkey, your canterings amuse me. Not quite as much as the drugs, mind, but you're probably cheaper. (And if so, you should mention that fact to Hanns)

However, I think you will be forced to agree that our current contretemps does not show much evidence of... skill... on either side. In fact, for all the lack of contact we've seen, it doesn't show evidence of anything other than targetting a TRP each turn and hitting the big shiny GO button. A task that even a Nobbit could handle. How, therefore, am I supposed to determine that you are not such a specimen? I mean, if I were to accept a second challenge from you that would mean I could be playing three Nobbitses at once. Fie on that, fie I say.

Therefore, I will only accept your second challenge when you show some fire in your belly in SollieVille. They might be led by donkeys, but your men still have a chance to prove they are lions! I want the crack of rifle fire. I want the curving arc of hand grenades. I want some bloody contact.

[Berlichtingen]

Seanachai

It is to late now, but I thought I should warn you that you should never request a picture on this board. Of course, now I know why I loath you so much. Don't know what I'm talking aboot? All will become clear

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Now, there is an issue of... me, ahem, ... me "conkers". Now, this is a bit delicate... Question: is it really for the good of the Pool to have a hormone-crazed donkey rampaging through the ssns, serfs, squires, kniggets et al to satisfy...? I don't think so. With the greatest humility and forelock-tugging I'd like 'em back. Don't care if they're in formaldahide, pickled or perched on top of a trifle. Anything to stop these roller-coaster feelings for Hanns.

Do I sense a Squire-type quest here? "A Donkey's Search For His Marbles". What say the assorted kniggets? If I must be <font size=-1>French</font>, then surely Yeknodathon must spend many battles searching for his conkers. And where might he have carelessly lost them, that he must endlessly revisit and search? Somewhere very dark, maybe. Maybe even dark and foggy.

And of course, it is barely worth mentioning that Sledge59's quest must be out in the snowy hills.

Their putative bitch-slap hissy-fit matchup would therefore be at night, in the fog, on snowy hills. Oh dear. I can smell the carnage already.

[ January 30, 2002, 08:36 AM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

[Sledge59]

Hey PawnScat, lend me your ear for a moment… No no no, I won’t hurt you this time, just LISTEN for once:

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE I AM ON A QUEST FOR THE EARS OF IDJITS, AND TO MAKE YOU, IN PARTICULAR REALIZE YOUR ACTUAL MICROSCOPIC SIZE.

Now, carry on with your pointless whinging, you pitiful excuse for an opponent!

Omnisciently,

Sledge

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now, on to new business.

Anyone know of artwork with the Son 'O God and a dog? I don't trust any sodding deity that's never been pictured with a cavorting dog.

...I'd really love to have an oil triptych of Jesus playing frisbee with a golden retreiver, but anything would be appreciated.

Seanachai, no triptych, but I did find a sculpture (that I believe is by one of the great Dutch Masters) of Christ with a dog. I guess you have no choice but to trust this deity. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think they had frisbees back then.

Persephone

[Geier]

Originally posted by Persephone:

I guess you have no choice but to trust this deity.

Thank you. That explains just about everything if you ask me. So, when do we get to the nail him-to-a-piece-of-wood-until-he's-really-sorry part?

Let me know.

Your friend and occasional henchman,

Johan

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Geier:

So, when do we get to the nail him-to-a-piece-of-wood-until-he's-really-sorry part?

Out-freakin'-standing idea! Another fine idea from the Olde Firm

[Joe Shaw]

Oh you who's nick sounds like a sneeze, please answer a question about the vageries of Pommie slang.

Mace, as the keeper of the traditions of the CessPool I feel bound to remind you that there is only ONE CessPooler who, by tradition, is to have his name referred to as sounding like a sneeze. I refer, of course, to Hakko Ichiu who, in my formative days here and before I realized the folly of mispelling the names of Squires and Knights, I frequently referred to as Hewhosenamesoundslikeasneeze.

I find myself apalled and dismayed by the quality of Squires these days. I would remind all Knights that while it's all well and good to grab just ANY old Serf or even SSN and proclaim them to be a Squire, that does not MAKE them a true Squire. It requires a certain native talent and wit that the current crop seems to be sadly lacking. Of course the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree ... poor Squire, poor Knight that's what I always say.

Joe

[ January 30, 2002, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

I find myself apalled and dismayed by the quality of Squires these days. I would remind all Knights that while it's all well and good to grab just ANY old Serf or even SSN and proclaim them to be a Squire, that does not MAKE them a true Squire. It requires a certain native talent and wit that the current crop seems to be sadly lacking. Of course the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree ... poor Squire, poor Knight that's what I always say.

Joe, I hope that you consider me to be a true Squire...or do you consider me to be in with the current crop you're referring to. Have some pitty on me, I can't help it if I'm a Squire to an Überlizard.

Persephone

[ January 30, 2002, 11:54 AM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Therefore, I will only accept your second challenge when you show some fire in your belly in SollieVille. They might be led by donkeys, but your men still have a chance to prove they are lions! I want the crack of rifle fire. I want the curving arc of hand grenades. I want some bloody contact.

Duck of Death,

Look PondDuck, what does that flag mean, eh? The NICE BIG FREAKIN RED ONE. ITS BEEN THERE QUITE A WHILE. Now, get yer paddling arse over there and we'll have a rumble. Oh, I don't hear an apology for OGSF. SAY IT.

Idjit Yeknod

[ January 31, 2002, 12:42 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Geier:

So, when do we get to the nail him-to-a-piece-of-wood-until-he's-really-sorry part?

Out-freakin'-standing idea! Another fine idea from the Olde Firm</font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Persephone:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now, on to new business.

Anyone know of artwork with the Son 'O God and a dog? I don't trust any sodding deity that's never been pictured with a cavorting dog.

...I'd really love to have an oil triptych of Jesus playing frisbee with a golden retreiver, but anything would be appreciated.

Seanachai, no triptych, but I did find a sculpture (that I believe is by one of the great Dutch Masters) of Christ with a dog. I guess you have no choice but to trust this deity. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think they had frisbees back then.

Persephone</font>

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Halo-frisbee thing goes round the head, or in the dog's mouth though I wouldn't want to interfere with the artistic process... bet the dog's got conkers, bet he's called "lucky".

Idjit Yeknod, that's right, don't interfere with the artistic process! Sorry, the dogs name isn't "lucky", he's already been to the veterinarian.

Persephone

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Idjit Yeknod, that's right, don't interfere with the artistic process! Sorry, the dogs name isn't "lucky", he's already been to the veterinarian.

Surely if that is Seanachai, then the figure at his side must be none other than his faithful squire, Sledge59.

This would also explain its curious name - the immortal old one must have already had 58 previous hounds called "Sledge".

The poor little mutt does look a tad surprised though, almost as if it had just noticed that something dear to it was suddenly no longer there. How long ago did you say it was fixed?

[ January 30, 2002, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Joe, I hope that you consider me to be a true Squire...or do you consider me to be in with the current crop you're referring to. Have some pitty on me, I can't help it if I'm a Squire to an Überlizard.

Certainly not dear lady, in fact, were it up to me I'd have ALL the ladies of CessPoolers automatically recognized as Ladies of the 'Pool and accorded all rights and privileges of Knights.

Gawd knows that the various traumas and travails that are associated with your domestic arrangements go FAR beyond any initiations we levy upon Squires!

Jo

[Mace]

Originally posted by Croda:

I am sending you a game in which I intend for you to die by the truckload.

Croda unterhamsters as appetiser followed by Roast Croda, rubbed with Garlic and served with Baked potato, pumpkin, peas, tomato pudding, and lashings of gravy, all prepared on a traditional Aussie Barbi!

Beauty!!!!

Mace