Panzer Leader Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Let's Make a Gamey Updates Deal! With your host Monty "Panzer Leader" Haul. Right-o, chaps. This week on "Let's Make a Gamey Updates Deal!" we have a new group of contestants, but before we begin, I'd like to mention last week's winners. First off, we have Boo Radley. Boo tell us a little about yourself. "My name is Boo and I live in the attic of my parents house. My only interaction with the world is through my "Glass Eye" until last week when my daddy, always looking for a quick buck, let me come on your show. Thanks Monty PL!" All right, easy Boo. Now, our friend here made it to the last round before he picked curtain number three, and won a full grown Yeknodathon! Oh, the laughs! Yeknod: "Never liked attics much, they makes me flanks quiver. I hope Boo has a wire-hair brush, but I suppose not. Oh bother." Boo: "Can you gallop? I've always wanted to gallop between the trunks and old lamps." Trapdoor opens in floor, ridding the stage of two insufferable GITs. Yes well, our other winner last week was Malikovsky. Now, let's hear a little about him. " My name is Malikovsky and my special trait is the unusual size of my head. It is balloon-like in both its bloated size AS WELL as its contents. Yes, and this fellow was our big winner last week (pretty sad huh?) After invariably picking the wrong curtain throughout the game, first winning a flock of ducks, then a goat... Mace: Hey that's my goat! (Well, I have to breed, dontchaknow.) ...and finally he picked curtain number one, which gave him a years supply of Fancy-cat cat-food. Dalem: Meeeee-eeowww! The only way this fellow won was at the end of the show, I asked how many people had fortune cookies in their purses... Entire Cesspool: It's a European Carry-All! ...and Malikovsky had a whole bag full! Malikovsky: They make a great snack! After this break we'll be back with an introduction to this week's contestants. Fade to Black. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 A little porn for Mace today. {I like #3, Yeowzza!} SSN Hint Of The Day: Ask people what they paid for their clothes. Now sod off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally posted by Huh?: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1: Here we go again, the thing with the sign name of Ug? has no profile, and it is violating the rules.Hey, Nylon, what do you mean I have no profile? I set up all my info (well, not all at first). Maybe you just missed when you went to click on it.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai: Christ on a crutch, throwing up left-handed, but you drink the worst ****e in the known Universe when it comes to serious alcohol!Ah, poor Seanachai..., the first lesson is to know your audience. There is a great deal of difference between drinking with the Olde Ones and a night out on the town in the company of an attractive lass. A Lady would hardly wish to go out for an evening of Pabst Blue Ribbons with a Whiskey Snit on the side. Err, except for the ones you take out perhaps. Let me check the personality profiles... Subject: Drinks & Personalities - Females Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool. Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy. Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink. Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had four more years...Alzheimer's and term limits be damned. Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is... Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait. Yes, yes, that seems to sum up your dating style rather well. Nothing to do but wait. Whole life really... Let's look a little further and see where Seanachai comes in on the list, shall we? Subject: Drinks & Personalities - Males Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid. Whiskey: He doesn't give two sh*ts about anything but getting laid. Tequila: P*ss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something. White Zin: He's gay. Wow! Pretty accurate I'd say. These personality tests are so amazing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally posted by Seanachai (regarding that girly-drink-drinking pillock Lars): Christ on a crutch, throwing up left-handed, but you drink the worst ****e in the known Universe when it comes to serious alcohol! Heh. You shoulda seen the spanking he got after I challenged him over the heresy of so-called "Key Lime" Martinis. The Dice Gods themselves [makes the sign of 'Baby needs new shoes'] were so outraged by the recipe that they granted me a first-shot frontal kill on a Hetzer from a Hellcat running flat-out and shooting directly abeam. Good times. UPDATES! Lars continues to be a gamey bastard, in addition to a girly-drinker of Slapdragonian proportions. After hacking the map so my defenders have exactly three peasant shacks and a single tile of leafless woods as cover (plus, it's a probe--so, no foxholes), he bought an entire platoon of KV-2s so he can systematically vaporize the tiny amount of cover that exists. He even skewed the aim of my jabo somehow so my cluster bombs missed his oceanful of human waves. Joe Shaw is another big pillock, whining about my hapless Russkies actually being armed, while himself having a gun, a nice tank and a ton of arty (mostly wasted, true, because Mr. "Wait, you don't need LOS to use a TRP?" forgot that you can't re-target a prep barrage). Speaking of fenderheads, jdmorse (has he finally given up his ridiculous jd posturings? Everyone keep quiet about J.Lo's divorce, or he might switch again.... although "J.Mo" seems somehow appropriate--especially if he got the bowl cut to go with it) is going to lose to the clock before I can auto-surrender if he doesn't get out of the overlong parenthetical asides and start killing Bob and Doug faster. Goanna is one slow-playing git, but I suppose I'll have to wait for spring for his metabolism to speed up enough to start responding. Big 'splosions on my side, lotsa pinned guys flailing in deep snow on his side. Agua Perdido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Joe Shaw is another big pillock, whining about my hapless Russkies actually being armed, while himself having a gun, a nice tank and a ton of arty (mostly wasted, true, because Mr. "Wait, you don't need LOS to use a TRP?" forgot that you can't re-target a prep barrage).AND barbed wire, and foxholes ... forgot to mention those didn't you ... OH and trenches INSIDE a building ... gamey, gamey, gamey. Besides I killed your gun. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 So I'm sitting in the restaurant eating lunch, when I look out the window and see...snow. Yes, indeedy-do, it's snowing here. What happened to Fall? Weren't we supposed to have Fall or somefink? Did I miss out on a memo somewhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted October 29, 2002 Author Share Posted October 29, 2002 I'm a little lost. At a loss for words even. Everytime I have some loose change, I like to play a game of cards, of course I always Lose, but then once a loser always a loser. Boy I sure hate losing, and no-one likes a loser. Even though I only lost by default, it was still treated as a loss. Are you lost yet? A little confused maybe? No!!! Then Sod off... [ October 29, 2002, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: YK2 ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally whined by Joe Shaw: barbed wire, and foxholes ... forgot to mention those didn't you ... OH and trenches INSIDE a building ... gamey, gamey, gamey. What, a DEFENDER with foxholes? Outrageous! Next time I'll be sure to set up in the middle of the road and march proudly toward your MGs signing the Internationale. (Because that's about what it seems to take for your attacks to succeed.) And Germanboy is the one who put the trenches in the church--they were padlocked, too. Judging from his recent work, I think he's taken up huffing. Agua Perdido [Edited to note that Croda is a brainless prat.] [ October 29, 2002, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally posted by YK2: A message from Nip to all the Cesspoolers, especially Elvis. Ooooh... finger... [Thinks a bit] *sniff* Novelty finger Nobbit... empaled. Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted October 29, 2002 Share Posted October 29, 2002 Originally posted by Malakovski: <font size=-1>Still scared of a rematch then?</font>Q. How do you keep a philosopher in suspense? ... Not much to report in Gamey Updates, although I find myself playing the ubermenschen in every current scenario, which should be a fine cure for "that Russian feeling". The Scaley One has a monster turn sitting in his inbox, probably stuffed full of explodey events and flamey events and bangey events. He hasn't returned it because either the events all happened to HIS units, and he's still sobbing, or they all happened to MY units, and he's still composing a long gloating email about it. The Long Winded One continues to send his men forward to creep in this petty pace from day to day. The last syllable of recorded time will be long gone before they make it across the scrub and wheatfield, seeing as how his tanks are still reduced to area-firing at "Machine Gun?" contacts. My anti-tank assets can't hit a stinking thing, but that's ok because he hasn't noticed them yet. The Nobbit is racing his T34s around like Indy cars. V exciting. Must remember to pack more AP rounds next time. One platoon of them has gone hairing off into a covered route directly into my ambush zone, I mean MLR. Another platoon took the much more obvious straight-down-boresighted-road route and paid the price. Sadly one immobilized T34 then proceeded to pick off my retrograde-maneuvering Panzercans with successive shots. Someone's been eating their Wheaties. BTS fix or do somefink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by YK2: A message from Nip to all the Cesspoolers, especially Elvis. It looks like someone hit Gerard Depardieu with an ugly-stick until he cried. [NB: Until recently, scientists thought it would violate the laws of physics to make Depardieu any uglier. Behold, another scientific limit superseded.] Is that a finger in his pocket or is he just happy to be in the 'Pool? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu: Is that a finger in his pocket or is he just happy to be in the 'Pool?I think that when he was asked to "put on a teddy" he took it entirely out of context.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally whined by Joe Shaw: barbed wire, and foxholes ... forgot to mention those didn't you ... OH and trenches INSIDE a building ... gamey, gamey, gamey. What, a DEFENDER with foxholes? Outrageous! Next time I'll be sure to set up in the middle of the road and march proudly toward your MGs signing the Internationale. (Because that's about what it seems to take for your attacks to succeed.) And Germanboy is the one who put the trenches in the church--they were padlocked, too. Judging from his recent work, I think he's taken up huffing. Agua Perdido [Edited to note that Croda is a brainless prat.]</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I forgot about the roadblock, he got a roadblock too ... it's probably in a trench I'll bet. Knowing Andreas, it'll be a roadblock in a trench on the back of a jeep being driven by a 'zook team placed behind your front lines. (Not that theres anything wrong with that) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Page 2........ Tch, tch, tch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Too all my PBEM opponoents, my monitor blew up last night due to a power surgre, luckily it's still under warantee. This Bump has been brought to you by the makers of Bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: Too all my PBEM opponoents, my monitor blew up last night due to a power surgre, luckily it's still under warantee. This Bump has been brought to you by the makers of Bump.So play without a monitor, it shouldn't be much of a detriment to your play style anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 I'm going to bring home my spare monitor i have at work tomorrow i think, the back up i'm using now has been around since about the last time Ninjan thought of something clever. Your crouching tiger will prove no match for my hidden flagon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Since when have power surges been covered under warranty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 My monitor came with a 3 year warranty, i don't know for sure if it was a power surge, i'm just assuming,could have been the capacitors or a number of other things i guess who knows, when i went to bed it worked, when i got up the next morning it did'nt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abbott Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 It is pretty durn sad when I have to bump the MBT. One busted monitor (power surge, yeah right) and the thread slips to the bottom of the page. Whomever is responsible for defeating GAYlord so badly he broke his monitor take two steps back and keep walking. (Edit because that is what I do). [ October 30, 2002, 12:23 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:25 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:26 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:28 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] [ October 30, 2002, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] HAhahehehe heh. [ October 30, 2002, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Abbott ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malakovski Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: ...when i went to bed it worked, when i got up the next morning it did'nt.Did you check the plug? That always helps... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huh? Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Lad? Would you like me to go grow some gray hairs and then come back to be judged and maybe, just maybe accepted into this thread with a sucker punch and a jab to the left kidney for good measure? Or should I stick around while you can still form coherent thoughts so you can take some more half-senile potshots at me. As for my email, midget militia was already taken about a thousand times so I typed the first thing that came to mind. Sorry if it was offputting, I generally like to be part of the offputting process, rather than letting a passive approach (like email) do the job for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted October 30, 2002 Share Posted October 30, 2002 Originally posted by Huh?: I generally like to be part of the offputting process.Let me guess, you've been offputting since birth? Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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