stikkypixie Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rleete: P.S. If you think there is even the remotest chance my wife is a virgin, you are deluded. I believe the phrase "randy as a goat" is applicable. Do not speak of the potential future BVM that way, you vulgar little man. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by stikkypixie: Shouldn't the BVM come before the pope? You're not keeping up with the concept of a 'Gonzo Papacy' at all, are you, you nasty little Belgian? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stikkypixie Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by stikkypixie: Shouldn't the BVM come before the pope? You're not keeping up with the concept of a 'Gonzo Papacy' at all, are you, you nasty little Belgian? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Sgt. Viljuri: ...there are many members already who sould be banned for their efforts at instant. Posters like Sergei, Gnome, wbs and Moraine Sedai should give some hints about the posters I'm talking about.You see before you a broken man. Viljuri was like a son to me! And yet, he wants me banned. Worse, he lumped me in with wbs. All this, of course, simply shows how much like the son-I-never-had he truly is. I guess it's good that my upcoming elevation to Pope will distract me with many new duties, and help to keep the sorrow and depression at bay. Somebody flog the College of Cardinals into action! I need the satisfaction of duty's distraction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by stikkypixie: Don't change the subject and answer me man..I mean gnome! History has shown us that the masses will get the icons We choose, prep, and package for them. Wow! Notice how naturally that 'We' came to me? I feel intensely coopted already... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: You see before you a broken man. Viljuri was like a son to me! And yet, he wants me banned. Worse, he lumped me in with wbs. All this, of course, simply shows how much like the son-I-never-had he truly is.You mean son-you-never-wanted-to-have, don't you? Admit that as Pope your first edict would legalize retrospective abortions! P.S. Broken Gnome, don't you mean? Well, that's a bit tautological of course... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Sergei: P.S. Broken Gnome, don't you mean? It'll be broken 'Your Holiness' pretty quick here, you Finn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Sergei: Admit that as Pope your first edict would legalize retrospective abortions! My first edict will be the World's Most Savage and With Malice Aforethought Renunciation of Celibacy. I mean, really. That's worked out so well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: Being taller when crucified upside down will be my third (and most likely, final) miracle. Just as long as we get to hit you on the head with the hammer at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Lars: You don't have to tell us you have no principals. We knew that. Do you mean to say that his schools have no chief executive officers? Ignorant savages, the lot of you... :mad: Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rleete: P.S. If you think there is even the remotest chance my wife is a virgin, you are deluded. I believe the phrase "randy as a goat" is applicable. Do not speak of the potential future BVM that way, you vulgar little man. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Now hold on just a second. We may have something here. Now consider: It is well known that that the Catholic religion proceeded by way of coopting existing deities as saints as well as pagan holy places as sites for important cathedrals. As part of that program, Mary was substituted for various Earth Mother figures as Isis, Astarte, Aphrodite, and others. It is well known that those classical figures were highly eroticized. Catholicism however took a wrong turn and divided Mary from the vitality of a healthy erotic life, turning her into the Eternal Virgin. But of course, Eros cannot be long denied, and came sneaking in the back door after nightfall in the form of Mary Magdalen. According to legend, she is a dirty, nasty whore. In other words, a necessity in a society that places a high putative value on extended female virginity. This division of the female archetype into, on the one hand, an exalted figure of "purity" and virginity, to be adored, and on the other an earthy, lusty, sexual figure to be barely acknowledged or tolerated in the open, has created a severe identity crisis for Catholic women ever since, as well as stressed or even ruined many relationships and made many lives a misery. The solution is obvious: The Modern Catholic Church must lead the way toward reuniting the two halves of the feminine personality. She must be venerated and adored not in spite of being earthy and lusty, but because she is. More on this later as I develop my thesis further. BTW, Seanachai, if you do become pope, I really think you ought to appoint me as official Vatican theologian, don't you agree? Michael closes slightly agape mouth Cardinal Emrys, I will be sending you clerks, lackeys and go-fers to assist you and free up your time to develop this new and breathtaking theology into the rich, spiritual, and, above all, physical reality that will help me to Save the Church. And, so that the 'seed of your thought' shall not fall unto barren ground, I will employ the good offices of the Church to round up virgins, wanton hussies, outright sluts and, for the sheer randy hell of it, SturmSebber, and send them over to you so that your inquiries into the dynamics of this new theology may be most fully realized. Now forgive me, but your 'Pope to Be' must needs go off and get completely trashed. I will return shortly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 If I bump this crap thread enough times, will it "wrap" and go back to the very last page where no one has to look at it any more? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: Do not speak of the potential future BVM that way, you vulgar little man. I was down at the BVM last month when I got new plates. Nothing very religious about it if you ask me. In other news, Spring has finally come to the midwest. Yes, indeedy, the hillbilly males are appearing in public without their shirts. Can the first tube top be far behind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 7, 2005 Share Posted April 7, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Now hold on just a second. We may have something here. Now consider: It is well known that that the Catholic religion proceeded by way of coopting existing deities as saints as well as pagan holy places as sites for important cathedrals. As part of that program, Mary was substituted for various Earth Mother figures as Isis, Astarte, Aphrodite, and others. It is well known that those classical figures were highly eroticized. Catholicism however took a wrong turn and divided Mary from the vitality of a healthy erotic life, turning her into the Eternal Virgin. But of course, Eros cannot be long denied, and came sneaking in the back door after nightfall in the form of Mary Magdalen. According to legend, she is a dirty, nasty whore. In other words, a necessity in a society that places a high putative value on extended female virginity. This division of the female archetype into, on the one hand, an exalted figure of "purity" and virginity, to be adored, and on the other an earthy, lusty, sexual figure to be barely acknowledged or tolerated in the open, has created a severe identity crisis for Catholic women ever since, as well as stressed or even ruined many relationships and made many lives a misery. The solution is obvious: The Modern Catholic Church must lead the way toward reuniting the two halves of the feminine personality. She must be venerated and adored not in spite of being earthy and lusty, but because she is. More on this later as I develop my thesis further. BTW, Seanachai, if you do become pope, I really think you ought to appoint me as official Vatican theologian, don't you agree? Michael closes slightly agape mouth Cardinal Emrys, I will be sending you clerks, lackeys and go-fers to assist you and free up your time to develop this new and breathtaking theology into the rich, spiritual, and, above all, physical reality that will help me to Save the Church. And, so that the 'seed of your thought' shall not fall unto barren ground, I will employ the good offices of the Church to round up virgins, wanton hussies, outright sluts and, for the sheer randy hell of it, SturmSebber, and send them over to you so that your inquiries into the dynamics of this new theology may be most fully realized.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I must object strenuously to the suggestion by Sr. Emrys of modifying the current longstanding Mary/Mary Virgin/Whore dichotomy. It's what makes Catholic girls so much fun. Hot guilt. Is there anything better than hot guilty guilt? I declare Sr. Emrys' teachings to be heresy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I am forwarding to His Holiness the Pope Presumptive a recommendation that dalem be given a stern warning that he has overstepped his authority and is in danger of excommunication and subsequent measures. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Oh, great! Just when a sodding Italian might actually have been of some use, and he's at odds with the Candidate I've chosen to help me restructure the Church. And their argument has me torn, as well. Now, it was a dearly held belief in my youth that 'No one was more unrepentantly liable to indulge in cheap, slutty sex than Parochial school girls', because of the 'chip on the shoulder/getting even with the parents/nuns phenomenon'. Thus Dalem has a point that whether out of rebellion, or repression, or what have you, that the Catholic girls were perceived as being far more likely to go in for serious, serious kinks than Protestants. On the other hand, Emrys's approach to the healing of the virgin/whore dichotomy is not only intriguing, but sounds a whole lot less objectionable than saying 'I fancy hot slutty repressed Catholic girls.' In the end, Dalem, my primary devotion to the Goddess, whom I shall soon be reintroducing into Catholicism, decides me in favour of Michael and his 'joyous, guiltless embracing of equals'. Besides, once we get the repressed and guilt ridden Catholic girls back in touch with the Goddess, the way will be open for Baptist girls to really take the field and work over the territory that's currently so strongly held by Catholic girls. Final Papal Decision To Be: Dalem is to be scourged through the streets of the city, and bitter herbs to be laid on the wounds. Which will do my heart good on other issues, anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I declare a Mighty Schism. My followers shall wade in the blood of the unholy as it runs in the gutters. Harken to me, O lovers of plaid skirts and furtive glances towards the parents' room! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 I just wanted to know whether he gets a red, pointy mitre and cassock? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: I declare a Mighty Schism. My followers shall wade in the blood of the unholy as it runs in the gutters. Harken to me, O lovers of plaid skirts and furtive glances towards the parents' room! We, the newly crowned Monarch of the United Kingdoms of Crackdom ("UCK"), do hereby declare our support for the one true Pope - dalem. We place our numerous armed forces at his command and prepare for a holy crusade to spill the blood of the heretics and infidels that dare oppose Gawd's will, as versified through the lips of dalem. Emrys is hereby declared an enemy of the state of UCK and is to be slowly castrated on sight with a pair of dull rusty scissors while having salt and dog saliva poured on the wound alternately after each small cut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: Besides, once we get the repressed and guilt ridden Catholic girls back in touch with the Goddess, the way will be open for Baptist girls to really take the field and work over the territory that's currently so strongly held by Catholic girls.Good point. Baptist girls make me hot. Pastor's daughters are the best. Final Papal Decision To Be: Dalem is to be scourged through the streets of the city, and bitter herbs to be laid on the wounds.Most merciful. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: Most merciful. Michael I'm in a festive mood, and I thought: Hey, how much more merciful and pontifical to begin my reign with a scourging, rather than an auto-da-fé. I am, of course, still torn about what name to take for my period of office. While 'Pope Seanachai I' has a wonderful, bodhran and pipes sound to it, 'Pope George Ringo I' also springs to mind, as a counter-balance to the last two 'everyone wants to be the songwriters' stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is firmly and unequivoc ... uneqiviol ... without doubt FOR the acension of Seanachai to the throne of Peter.Joe, you get the maidens I didn't hand over to Speedy. Try not to bore them to tears. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 8, 2005 Share Posted April 8, 2005 Originally posted by dalem: I declare a Mighty Schism. My followers shall wade in the blood of the unholy as it runs in the gutters. Harken to me, O lovers of plaid skirts and furtive glances towards the parents' room! Schism, is it? Roight! Harken, all ye Soldiers of God! Know those of you who would cleave to the True Pope (whose appointment is freaking imminent, I tell you!), know that my Second Act as Pope shall be to Exonerate, Rehabilitate, and Reestablish the Knights Templar! Okay, who wants to be a Templar, and go forth to smite the heathen? We're talking Knights Magus, wealth, bizarre rites, Kabbalism, willful hedonism, you name it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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