Sergei Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Dear Moon! I am approaching you with honourable intentions, because, as many know, I am a man of honour. And as God the Almighty has wished, I am on a mission: a holy mission to save Combat Mission. As you guys are about to publish the next generation of CM games, we old battle-hardened veterans from CMBO days almost cry. For years CMBO-BB-AK has been our best friend, in fact for many of us our only friend, unless you count the imaginary friends here at BFC boards. And while we accept that life must go on, we are not yet ready to abandon something that was the finest gem of wargaming of the late 20th century. You know, I've been thinking of this a lot, and here's my plan. BFC sells me the old engine, for my developing group to use for making a new grog game. I am going to hire Dorosh to fix bugs, Axe to do the Egyptian OOB, blue division to calculate firepower ratings, JasonC to write the manual, Seanachai to summarize what Jason just wrote, MasterGoodAle to summarize & angryolize what Seanachai just summarized, Mace to model the sheep, Emrys as an eyewitness of life in the 1800's, dalem to do all the 3d models for spaceships. I will do the Finnish OOB and, once the game is finished, sell the game from door to door. Understandably BFC wouldn't want to compete with such a dynamic team, and neither would we want to eat away the market from CMX2 with our quality product, due to be out during the 3rd Quarter of 2005. Therefore the game will be named as "I Can't Believe It's Not Combat Mission" so that people wouldn't mistake between the two games. Secondly, the game won't be about the Space Lobsters of Doom but the Galactic Shrimps of Perdition. My lawyer will fax you the contract today, so as soon as you find a pen, sign it. Thank you, it is always a pleasure doing business with you! Sincerely, Sergei 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gpig Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Will each shrimp be modelled 1:1? (crosses fingers) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Jamoomba demands to be named All-Seeing Puckered Deity for this project! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by Sergei: JasonC to write the manual, Seanachai to summarize what Jason just wroteOk, so you want a manual that has a page count that exceeds the combined Oxford English Dictionary and Encyclopædia Britannica 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Da Beginna Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Kiitos, I had a good laugh here. I could add a "CM for dummies section". Cheers, Dennis 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 EGYPTIAN ORDER OF BATTLE Contingent Commander (Army General) 8 x Light Chariot Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. Chariotry – in 2 units, each with standard, musician and leader Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. 15 x Chariot Runners Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, javelins, shield. Infantry – archer, spearman and marine units each with standard, musician and leader 20 x Spearmen 20 x Archers 20 x Nubians 20 x Marines Equipment: Spearmen armed with hand weapon, throwing spear, shield Bowmen armed with hand weapon and composite bow Nubians armed with hand weapon and short bow Marines armed with bows, javelins and shields 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flammenwerfer Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I have a life-sized blow-up doll of Madmatt to contribute to the effort. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 That's just wrong. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Dorosh Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I don't fix bugs, you Finnish Git! I just point out the Canadian ones on the forum and holler loud and long about them. Will you be having a forum for the new old game? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by _Axe_: EGYPTIAN ORDER OF BATTLE Contingent Commander (Army General) 8 x Light Chariot Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. Chariotry – in 2 units, each with standard, musician and leader Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. 15 x Chariot Runners Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, javelins, shield. Infantry – archer, spearman and marine units each with standard, musician and leader 20 x Spearmen 20 x Archers 20 x Nubians 20 x Marines Equipment: Spearmen armed with hand weapon, throwing spear, shield Bowmen armed with hand weapon and composite bow Nubians armed with hand weapon and short bow Marines armed with bows, javelins and shields Where's your source? Mustapha Ali Al Kabir clearly states in his book "Early ranged weapons of the Pharonic Era" (Chapter MCCXXXVII, page 14,298 para 4) that the short bow (Kalai-alkal) wasn't in use until the later part of the 1st century BC? Only a bald man with a badger nailed to his chin would attempt to grog-bluff on this forum. :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flamingknives Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Doesn't the badger get angry? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellfish Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Wow... it almost feels like the good old days on the forum again. :sniff: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 He's not bluffing, Soddball. It's a real badger nailed to his chin. :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soddball Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by flamingknives: Doesn't the badger get angry? Fortunately, it's nailed on face downwards, so rather than being upset having to look at his face, it's laughing at his withered genitalia. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by Sergei: I am approaching you with honourable intentions...Look out! Hide the women and children! No, never mind the women and children, hide the livestock! :eek: :eek: :eek: Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by _Axe_: EGYPTIAN ORDER OF BATTLE Contingent Commander (Army General) 8 x Light Chariot Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. Chariotry – in 2 units, each with standard, musician and leader Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, light armour, composite bow, javelins, shield. 15 x Chariot Runners Equipment: Armed with hand weapon, javelins, shield. Infantry – archer, spearman and marine units each with standard, musician and leader 20 x Spearmen 20 x Archers 20 x Nubians 20 x Marines Equipment: Spearmen armed with hand weapon, throwing spear, shield Bowmen armed with hand weapon and composite bow Nubians armed with hand weapon and short bow Marines armed with bows, javelins and shields You left out the naked slave girls. I won't be buying. (Though I may DL a pirated copy.) :mad: Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by Snarker: He's not bluffing, Soddball. It's a real badger nailed to his chin. :mad: Nah those are just the bugs that Michael fixed. He is not hollering in pain, he is hollering that these are Canadian bugs biting him badly on his bald brain. Chop chop Dandelion 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pzman Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Not a very good April fools joke if you ask me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Come to think of it, the OOB could lend itself to gamey chariot rushes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 I'm disappointed with you, Moon - still no response. Were the terms offered to you not acceptable? Would you like to negotiate about these things with my Sicilian presentatives? I don't think you will refuse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Axe_ Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Where's my turn you Finnish lackey? :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PseudoSimonds Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by _Axe_: Where's my turn you Finnish lackey? :mad: Where's my turn, you post-happy drunkard? :mad: :mad: :mad: 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by _Axe_: Where's my turn you Finnish lackey? :mad: I've sent it to you 12 hours ago. So where's my turn, eh? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Originally posted by Sergei: ...I am a man of honour. Sincerely, Sergei Umm...I thought you were a Finn? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sergei: ...I am a man of honour. Sincerely, Sergei Umm...I thought you were a Finn? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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