Boo Radley Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Boo Radley I find that I've misjudged you ... I THOUGHT you had at least an OUNCE of common sense but I see that I was mistaken.I know, I know. Trying to argue with you is akin to screaming at the TV when you see something monumentally stupid. I should have just distracted you with some shiny baubles. Is it completely unreasonable to expect that someone who ASPIRES to the office of Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread to show a LITTLE appreciation of the TRADITIONS of the CessPool? Others have taken up the challenge and berated an SSN for failing to show an email address, for example. Some have challenged those who would show disrespect for the Ladies of the CessPool. (Once more, with feeling.) He showed up more than a month ago when you supposedly were the "Iron Codger"...sorry, Cudgel of the MBT (Now, with 50% MORE flavor!). So, tell me Dr. Rice, what did you do about it? But what have YOU done? NOTHING! You've sat in your One and Half Wide and you then expect to gain the office most critical to the sacred traditions of the CessPool with as little personal effort as you expend getting another discount beer (in YOUR case you just tilt the Barcalounger in the living room back another two inches, reach behind your head and open the refrigerator door in the kitchen.) What's wrong with living the American Dream? Bah ... THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE AND IT'LL BE AN OHIOISH ONE OVER MY DEAD BODY! Joe Oh I can live with that plan. As a matter of fact, even as we speak...or I type and you read...well, maybe not when you read because I don't know when you'll read this, but at least, right now, as I type this, I'm also on Instant Messenger with Seanachai, telling him what a git you are and how you always make "rabbit ears" behind his head and drink out of his beer can when he's not looking. I fear he's most upset with you. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Excerpted from the drivel that Boo Radley normally posts since no person, even an Australian, should have to read that crap more than once: Oh I can live with that plan. As a matter of fact, even as we speak...or I type and you read...well, maybe not when you read because I don't know when you'll read this, but at least, right now, as I type this, I'm also on Instant Messenger with Seanachai, telling him what a git you are and how you always make "rabbit ears" behind his head and drink out of his beer can when he's not looking. I fear he's most upset with you.A LIE Seanachai, he posts a LIE on the MBT and THEN expects to be named some flavor of Justicar when all here know that THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE and that flavor is me ... uh ... well you get the point. It was NOT rabbit ears but rather the V for Victory sign! Regretably my shoulder was paining me that day from an ill advised golf swing out the rough and I couldn't raise my hand to full extenstion as I had planned and, well, you ARE of ... uh ... shorter than normal stature so it may have APPEARED to be a derogatory gesture but come now, will you trust an OHIOISH person over Moi!, your Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread? I think not. I have no fear of your judgement on this score (specifically: Justicar 19, Ohioish Person 3.25). And to assist you in your deliberations I'm having a signed statement by my physician attesting to my condition delivered by messenger this very evening ... I've asked Trixie, that lovely blond stenographer you like so well, to deliver it without delay and WAIT FOR YOUR ANSWER. Indeed I've instructed her to ASSIST IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE and NOT TO LEAVE if it should take all night. She is a trained masseuse, by the way, and will be more than happy to work out any kinks that may be caused by your writing efforts during the evening. Hoping this finds you in the pink, I remain The Knight Champion of the MBT, Joe p.s. Did I mention that I gave her a bottle of Bushmills so that your throat won't be parched from the dictation. I encouraged her to take a wee nip from time to time as well, I trust you won't object? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: and I couldn't raise my hand to full extenstion Joe First one thing, then another. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Wankers. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Elvis: Wankers. I have been here for almost a year and I just have to ask - How long has this tradition of Elvis's carried on for? Is there any history behind it, or is it just his special way of saying I can't be bothered posting, but I'm here watching you idijits? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Ah. Of course. I try sedition and you raise the ante with bribery. I doff my chapeau to you Joseph. It might have even worked if it weren't for the fact that I AM SEANACHAI'S BASTARD SON! (A collective gasp goes up from the huddled masses.) Yes, it all goes back to a time 48 to 51 years ago (depending on whether or not your sidereal clock is set for EST or PST), and involved my mother, a stenographer named Esmerelda, one too many late nights stenographing for the Olde Ones, a bottle of Bushmills (See how history repeats itself? See how history repeats itself?) and a giant economy sized can of Cheez-Whiz. Well, you know how the story goes. A little slap and tickle and before you know it, the pointy hat comes off and the Cheez-Whiz goes on. And you know what they say: "Blood is thicker than Joe Shaw, but not by much." Sorry, old bean. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And you should watch yourself lad, the Just-a-charlatan of the Peng Challenge Thread has long had it's eye ... eyes ... on you.Oh, this is rich. You can't even keep the pretenders to your self-proclaimed title at bay, yet you look to cultivate new enemies. Maybe you shouldn't have let Boo (Thug of the Church of Seanachai) steal your thunder. Not that there was ever much thunder. More like diseased bowel rumblings. Go sit on a picket fence. Sideways. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Black and white, black and white, black and white, and gray...going to gray to gray to gray and everything is mist... Where am I? What is this place? Hello? HELLO? Can anyone hear me? Hear me! Hear me! I'm alone. Alone? Never alone. The lads are here, somewhere. Saw them just a moment ago. Ah, there they are! I see Boggs posting about me. What? What's that?! You bugger! Well, time to step in and set that record straight... No one's listening. No one seems to hear me at all! What the hell? HELLO! YOU STUPID BASTARDS! I'M TALKING TO YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW! Christ, what a shower of fools! I'm posting, I'm talking to you, you fecking idjits! What? What's that you say, Moon? I'm what?! I'm gone? Well, maybe I was a bit over the top...maybe I let the reins go...but...gone? Nothing? No shade of Seanachai to make the darkness a bit lighter? No lightening of the darkness for the shade of Seanachai? But...but who will lead them? Who will hate them all? Who will love them all? Who will lead the jolly singsong? And who by fire, who by water, who in the sunshine, who in the night time, who by high ordeal, who by common trial, who in your merry merry month of may, who by very slow decay, and who shall I say is calling? And who in her lonely slip, who by barbiturate, who in these realms of love, who by something blunt, and who by avalanche, who by powder, who for his greed, who for his hunger, and who shall I say is calling? And who by brave assent, who by accident, who in solitude, who in this mirror, who by his lady's command, who by his own hand, who in mortal chains, who in power, and who shall I say is calling? "Who by Fire" -Leonard Cohen And gray, and gray, and gray, and gray...hello? Hello? They're good lads. Nothing's lost but me, after all. Nothing is needed but for all these mists to recede. So that the pungent colours and iron of the Justicar to shine through again...nothing remains but a good wind off the ocean to make the bright deserts and coasts of Australia to burst through the clouds of uncertainty...where is Satan, that burnished fire of anger undiminished, and mocking? I'm buried...buried...buried in emptiness...in television...in foolishness. Is this the land I saw, through the laughter, through the penetration chart discussions...through...everything. I rise up. I rise Up! I Rise Up! See How They Rise Up! I SHALL RISE UP! They rise up, they rise up, they rise up! They rise headfirst, headfirst, headfirst! What the hell? Is this not the Peng Challenge Thread? Is this not the Peng Challenge Thread?! What the hell? Why are my shoes all wet, and where have you bastards all been? I had the strangest dream...I could hear... GODDAMN IT, THAT WASN'T A DREAM! I WAS BANNED! AND I COULD HEAR EVERY FECKING THING YOU BASTARDS SAID! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I can't help but laugh as I visualise the Bard's frustration with not being able to participate in this battle of the numbwits. [edit: Aah, I knew it was about time...welcome back you silly sod. I'd say we missed you, but I won't] [ April 10, 2004, 10:20 PM: Message edited by: v42below ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Just wondering: How long before our banned bad-mouthed Bard is let back into the Cesspool? Shouldn't we be planning a party? One involving blankets, and soap in a sock sounds about right. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by R Leete: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: And you should watch yourself lad, the Just-a-charlatan of the Peng Challenge Thread has long had it's eye ... eyes ... on you.Oh, this is rich. You can't even keep the pretenders to your self-proclaimed title at bay, yet you look to cultivate new enemies. Maybe you shouldn't have let Boo (Thug of the Church of Seanachai) steal your thunder. Not that there was ever much thunder. More like diseased bowel rumblings. Go sit on a picket fence. Sideways. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Wow, talk about bad timing! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 AH TOORAYLEE, TOORALIE ... the Bard of the CessPool, the Olde One the one, the only SEANACHAI has returned as from the dead ... or at least from the drunken stupor, pretty much the same thing. Now ... as regards the TRUE Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread ... did Trixie deliver or ... DID TRIXIE DELIVER? Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by v42below: How long has this tradition of Elvis's carried on for? Is there any history behind it, or is it just his special way of saying I can't be bothered posting, but I'm here watching you idijits? We'll, it's really something WE don't like to talk about...but it did involve heavy objects being dropped on a certain cesspooler's head from some height. KING MACE [ April 10, 2004, 10:35 PM: Message edited by: Mace ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
v42below Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 How ironic is it that (in New Zealand and Australia, at least) today is Easter Sunday? I'm sure the idjit did it on purpose, with his aspirations of being a deity and all. Seanachai has risen! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: Black and white, black and white, black and white, and gray...going to gray to gray to gray and everything is mist...That's not mist. Mace has been into the refried beans again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by v42below: How ironic is it that (in New Zealand and Australia, at least) today is Easter Sunday? I'm sure the idjit did it on purpose, with his aspirations of being a deity and all. Seanachai has risen! Yes, and as it was Moon who was responsible, could we not refer to it as ... wait for it now ... THE RISING OF THE MOON? Joe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by v42below: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Elvis: Wankers. I have been here for almost a year and I just have to ask - How long has this tradition of Elvis's carried on for? Is there any history behind it, or is it just his special way of saying I can't be bothered posting, but I'm here watching you idijits? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 STAND BACK! BY THE GODS, I TAKE LARGE STEPS! I remember this. I remember this place. I...remember...all of you. I remember...Leete. Fecking Christ, Roger, were you such a puddle of clouded piss before? That's not what I remember. You were...well, not 'majestic', but at least not a fecking wanker. And...Boo. Wait! I remember Boo! My large, thuggish and poetic minion! Ah! It all comes back to me! And the Justicar! Bring me the Shaw! It's all coming back like a pungent burst of extremely expensive scotch ordered by the half liter, and then not paid for because of the bizarre bar fight you provoked with the Vegan lesbians in order to duck through a side door, with the tab left languishing... I remember! I remember it all! I was an Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread, and you were all my comrades! What the hell's been going on? The place is a fecking dump! Why is Dame Kitty still posting her own beautiful face atop that disturbingly masculine (you know you were all getting worked up about it, and it's all to your discredit, you ****es), body, and where is the Evil One? Where is our Queen? Where is my brother, my fellow god, Peng? And what are you stupid bastards looking at, and why has no one fetched me a drink? Christ on a crutch signaling surrender! How long have I been banned?! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: How long have I been banned?!Too long, or not long enough. We're still deciding. Care to come to a party? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by R Leete: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: How long have I been banned?!Too long, or not long enough. We're still deciding. Care to come to a party? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by R Leete: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai: How long have I been banned?!Too long, or not long enough. We're still deciding. Care to come to a party? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Yay! The little demipillock ÜberEaster Gnome demigod with the red pointy hat has returned! Persephone 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 I'll drink to that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted April 11, 2004 Share Posted April 11, 2004 Shaw, fella, for sheer joy, I shall renounce my godhead. I was never meant to be a god, frankly. I was meant to be exactly what I am: an Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread. I thought I'd try another career path. Who was I to know that it would be so much less satisfying? Ah we're drinking and we're dancing and the band is really happening and the Johnny Walker wisdom running high And my very sweet companion she's the Angel of Compassion she's rubbing half the world against her thigh And every drinker every dancer lifts a happy face to thank her the fiddler fiddles something so sublime all the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots and it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops: it's CLOSING TIME Yeah the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots and it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops: it's CLOSING TIME Ah we're lonely, we're romantic and the cider's laced with acid and the Holy Spirit's crying, "Where's the beef?" And the moon is swimming naked and the summer night is fragrant with a mighty expectation of relief So we struggle and we stagger down the snakes and up the ladder to the tower where the blessed hours chime and I swear it happened just like this: a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss the Gates of Love they budged an inch I can't say much has happened since but CLOSING TIME I swear it happened just like this: a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss the Gates of Love they budged an inch I can't say much has happened since CLOSING TIME I loved you for your beauty but that doesn't make a fool of me: you were in it for your beauty too and I loved you for your body there's a voice that sounds like God to me declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you And I loved you when our love was blessed and I love you now there's nothing left but sorrow and a sense of overtime and I missed you since the place got wrecked And I just don't care what happens next looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess it's CLOSING TIME Yeah I missed you since the place got wrecked By the winds of change and the weeds of sex looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess it's CLOSING TIME Yeah we're drinking and we're dancing but there's nothing really happening and the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night And my very close companion gets me fumbling gets me laughing she's a hundred but she's wearing something tight and I lift my glass to the Awful Truth which you can't reveal to the Ears of Youth except to say it isn't worth a dime And the whole damn place goes crazy twice and it's once for the devil and once for Christ but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights we're busted in the blinding lights, busted in the blinding lights of CLOSING TIME The whole damn place goes crazy twice and it's once for the devil and once for Christ but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights we're busted in the blinding lights, busted in the blinding lights of CLOSING TIME Oh the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots It's CLOSING TIME And it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops It's CLOSING TIME I swear it happened just like this: a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss It's CLOSING TIME The Gates of Love they budged an inch I can't say much has happened since But CLOSING TIME I loved you when our love was blessed I love you now there's nothing left But CLOSING TIME I miss you since the place got wrecked By the winds of change and the weeds of sex. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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