Lorak Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Herr Poolers, To show that I kan kut and paste as well as the next. so for a more german feel... 99luftballons{sheesh} I give you Rammstein: Wer zu Lebzeit gut auf Erden wird nach dem Tod ein Engel werden den Blick gen Himmel fragst Du dann warum man sie nicht sehen kann Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen kann man uns am Himmel sehen wir haben angst und sind allein Gott wieb ich will kein Engel sein Sie leben hinterm Sonneschein getrennt von uns unendlich weit sie müssen sich an Sterne krallen damit sie nicht vom Himmel fallen Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen kann man uns am Himmel sehen wir haben angst und sind allein Gott wieb ich will kein Engel sein Erst wenn die Wolken schlafen gehen kann man uns am Himmel sehen wir haben angst und sind allein Gott wieb ich will kein Engel sein Lorak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roborat Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 (engage whiney voice mode) Germany? Germany!!, I don't wanna go to Germany!, The men all smell like sausage and the women are the size of winnebagos and frankly, they scare me. (whine mode off) Gosh, what a strange place. There appears to rules for everything, and rules for reading the rules according to the rules, I'll bet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Lorak: Mensch-2 wins Meeks-2 loses Meeks-win Hiram-loss Vin du tvit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Ja Herr Berli, Post korrekted Lorak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Geier: Johan (Who once spent eight months in the same room as five guys who only listened to Gold Ballads and Gold Ballads 2. I didn't know they allowed music in Turkish prisons. Were those eight months the inspiration for "Midnight Express?" K ------------------ Hamsters at War! Chicks With Tanks Lorak's FTX "I'd rather the Bees than your Mask of Shame." - Stuka The True Blue Aussie Slang Source The Unofficial Vic Bitter Website Jesus Dress Up! The McNoldy Group Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Hmmm. Germany, eh. Last time I was here there were two of them. I think I may still be PNG since I never filled out that damn census form...what an orderly bunch. Do you have corn chips here yet? Or peanut butter? That Nutella stuff is way too sweet. I don't know if we should keep the pool here very long if you can't at least get some Doritos to eat while you play. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGSF Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Ah'm nae tae sure aboot thas place.....but important noos! A topplement has occurred, an which the sorry wretch Nijis has been dispossessed o' has three large VLs', an' laift wi' the small one, as is fitting. Sae Lorak, mark tha' oop ain tha tome wid ye.... OGSF WIN Nijis Whup-ass ain a plate. Den kannst du dir unter die Vorhaut klemmen! SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD ------------------ You posture more than Marcia Brady with books on her head and you chatter like a dolphin near the fish bucket. - Dalem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Wilkommen! Now this is more like it. Pity the header is immune to spell-checking. Wo ist der Schnell Imbiss? I really miss Germany and would go back for 3 more years, if I didn’t have to get a job. Of course I’d go to Ohio for 3 years if I didn’t have to get a job, but I would never miss it. In the spirit of our new host Kountry’s proud military traditions, and seeking to share the more profound experiences of the Outer Board, I have decided to prepare a Cesspool tactics primer which explains the intricacies of offense, defense, attrition, and maneuver (Brits insert random vowels & consonants at will), in simple terms, for the benefit of those unable or unwilling to master simple pronoun usage. In preparing this I have drawn heavily on Guderian’s Grundlagen der septische Taktik as well as the US Army FM 11-18 Tactical Field Sanitation Manual, Rev. B, and related them to the CM environment. I believe this may spark an interesting philosophical discussion and further advance the cesspudlian art of war, which is already close to the level of grease ants battling over a roach corpse under the kitchen stove. The Cesspool Initiative: A Tactical Paradigm There are 2 possible tactical stances available to the CM player: Offense and Defense. (Meeting Engagements are a combination of the two and hence, for girls and toddlers.) Initial deployment and subsequent maneuver are completely different. In the Offense, one should Kill Them All. Conversely, in the Defense, one must Kill Them All. On the surface these two approaches seem diametrically opposed. A closer examination, however, will reveal subtle similarities. As the defender, one uses mines, traps, and pointy things to Kill Them. Note that successful attackers also use guns and pointy things to Kill Them. Think of artillery as large flying mines, and you’ll get the idea. All warfare may be interpreted in terms of mines, if you try hard enough. The ancient Greeks and Romans fashioned early mines from pointed bits of iron, fastened them to sticks, and jabbed one another with them. The early mines were called pila, known to the modern unwashed (i.e., You, Dear Reader) as spears (they were called Javelins until American Motors went under, but that’s a different war). Later they used elephants, but the principle is identical. The attacker may choose one of two styles of warfare: Attrition, in which he tries to Kill Them All, or Maneuver, in which he tries to Kill Them All. These two schools of thought are, not surprisingly, bitterly opposed and often hotly debated. Attritionists argue quite sensibly that you should buy a bunch of guns and tanks and explosives, find the Bad Guys, and Kill Them All. Maneuverists, on the other hand, advocate buying a bunch of guns and tanks and explosives and Killing Them All. Attritionists list conserving our precious and non-renewable fossil fuels as a secondary goal. Maneuverists exhibit a profound interest in nature and take “time to smell the roses”. Both are deserving of our respect as military theorists. In CM terms: The Attritionist drives headlong into the Defender’s ambush. The Maneuverist drives off to one side, into the Defender’s ambush. The Defender, in either case, seeks to cover his opponent with the various types of mines. Next Week: Turret Rotation- Fact or Myth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 If you're going to be such a grog here in the cesspool, I'm going to have to ask why BTS didn't model the Smilodon-- they modeled all the other German cat-armor, and demand that they give us a patch that includes it. The smilodon fatalis was one of the deadliest of the big cats ever, and the smilodon californicus was a more laid back, but equally deadly cat. More importantly, they have a really cool name, and they look really cool. Check out these web pages: http://www.bluelion.org/smilodon.htm http://www.museum.state.il.us/exhibits/larson/smilodon.html I demand that BTS include these in a patch package, preferable 1.12. ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by chrisl: I demand that BTS include these in a patch package, preferable 1.12. I would agree that CM2 can wait another two years while all of these suggestions are incorporated, except that that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, excepting the combined works of Meeks, Croda, & mensch. However, whenever the chrisl stumbles near a valid hypothesis, one should immediately reach out to steady it. In this case, note the canine teeth (on cats? hey, it was his link). Early biological mines? Could DNA and natural selection have drawn the same inevitable tactical conclusion before man even evolved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: The attacker may choose one of two styles of warfare: Attrition, in which he tries to Kill Them All, or Maneuver, in which he tries to Kill Them All. These two schools of thought are, not surprisingly, bitterly opposed and often hotly debated./B] Ah, PzKw IV ausf A (you are in no way good enough to be better than ausf A), you forget the third method which is expounded in the excellent books Ich sauge: Angriff und Verteidigung and Fehlertaktik by Feldmausmarschal Bauhaus. Surely, even you can see that this does not fall into your two methods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goanna Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Achtung! ÜberEidische Update Quote from jdmorse via e-mail: You lucky bastard Tut tut, Herr Kounselor. As me old pappy used to hiss, "I'd rather be lucky than talented most days." Besides, you will find that it pays to turn that thick bit up the front toward my lads if you plant to take on one of my rabid attack StuGs. I thought we might be going for summary judgement on this one when you went all quiet and thoughtful on me. Tell you what, I'll let you out of this one easy for a surrender now if you cede Mercer Island, that pointy phallic symbol and the Supersonics to Australia. Any attempt to add other konditions will result in further kremation of your platoons at either ford. Do we have a konsent decree? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted February 8, 2001 Author Share Posted February 8, 2001 Moin Moin, alle... ok ja one kann buy Doritos but at 2.50 DM a bag. Liv with it. Smoking is allowed and accepted as a social habit.. or was that hobbit? hmm.... no political korrekt krap! Nude beaches, do exist without shäm... yes God did give us those body parts which we should not be ashamed about. Major Tom stays but now has to be deployed in North Peng Buzzsaw is now Gesummsäge Roborat is now Robotratte Chrisl is now Khrisl Cpt. Foobar Berlis Left hand man... Patboivin who ist this?? DEPORT YK2 awaiting standesamt marrage papers Marlow can open an Imbis if he wants otherwise DEPORT Nijis again who is this?? DEPORT Dalem is alowed to stay for 3 months but then has to go home Von Shrad ..heh Jawohl Peng Paß StevetheRat is now StephandieRatte Wildman is now Wildmann Laywer is now called Rechtsanwalt. Peng says Peng Seanachai is now Sänachae Moriarty is Moriartae Germanboy is Deutschjunge Berlichtingen stays Berlichtingen Joe Shaw gets a visa for american tourists Mark IV good lad.. your name stays David Aitkin has a k in his name so it stays the same Goanna... can I see your passport lad? Hakko Ichiu lots of k's but to east asian.. you get a student paß Elvis uh... gets new gigs in all East Peng Ratskeller Kneipe, singing Geier stays the same and gets a german Peng Paß Bauhaus als Geier Chupacabra is Chupakabra GI Jim stays the same but is stationed in South Peng Herr Oberst stays the same.. Peng Paß Pawbroon we have to let him in since he belongs to the EU.. feck jdmorse please take a nummber you papers are being don GI Tom goes with Jim to South Peng Elijah Meeks gets a visitors Visa Lorak very nordic... gets a Peng Paß Mensch has a Visa and can stay Madmatt not sure.. but the Polizei are checking his files Rune is now Rün OGSF hmmm... incharge of the Peng Army Hiram Sedai is arrested and is awaiting to get deported. Mace is now Mäss Croda is also awaiting deportation papers Bastables gets a 3 month visitors Paß since he visits so little. Polizei are keeping an eye out for him Stuka good lad.. now incharge of the Peng Luftwaffe Speedy stays speedy but now has to look after the Peng Autobahn jshandorf stays and but must look after the Landwirtschaft of Peng PeterNZ gets a 6 month visitor Paß Kitty is now Kätze Babra alowed to visit but not to stay. danke für Ihre verständnis now hau ab!!! -------- www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Mark IV: I would agree that CM2 can wait another two years while all of these suggestions are incorporated, except that that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard, excepting the combined works of Meeks, Croda, & mensch. Nein, dumpkopf!!! I vant mein CM2 now, Gott in himmel!!! I vant to storm das Russland undt finding das living room fer das Duetsche uberhamsters, undt das Duetsche sheepen!!! Sieg Mäss [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 02-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geier Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Kitty: Wow. A two-liner. And some links. You must be really upset. Too bad that you still don't get it but that was to be expected I suppose, given your track record. Toodles, Johan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevetherat Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 What's all this ganging up on Pussy business? Come get me you Volvo loving, suicidal cheese monger. It's obvious your intellect is rivalled only by the simplest garden tools, so say constructively, humourously, or not at all.* stephandasratzenburger * This statement does not, and is not meant to, imply that I make constructive, humourous, or otherwise entertaining posts on this, or any other, forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Muahahahaaa!! I'm back in town you Cess-scum but only for 2 days before jetting out again for part 2 of the honeymoon thang. Oh yes, read it and weep for as you northern types are freezing your thingeys off (hehe, coudn't resist saying "thingie") the little woman and your old uncle Stukey will be lazing around the beach of a beautiful tropical isle for another week. Ahh, the serenity. My thanks go out to those of you with the decency to wish me well for the wedding and as a show of gratitude I hereby vow to kill you more humanly in any future punch-ups. I may even get a wedding photo up on Loraks site because, gosh darn it, I looked great, and I would hate to deny you people the chance to see just how great. It is no mean feat to wear a 3/4 length coat in 30' celcius heat but the Stukemiester achieved it without passing out once. Oh yeah, the lovely Libby looked, well, lovely. Game updates: Peng: Is pussyfooting around the outer suburbs of our night/rain/town game. Methinks he is a little nervy about entering the central business district with his Churchills, given the number of mightely pissed off F/jagers loitering around. Bauhaus: Has taken a battering getting his doughboys into the VL's and is frantically flinging all available arty on what he beleives to be my positions. He will soon learn the meaning of words such as 'reserves', 'tactics' and 'flanking'. Mensch: QB: After losing all his Tigers he is leading his attack with a Kublewagon, ohhh my poor shaking boots. Operation: He has lost more H/tracks than the Germans actually produced during the whole war. I hope his recovery crews are getting paid overtime, theyr'e gonna need it. OGSF: Has foolishly offerred no resistence to my taking of the VL's and must now wrestle control away for me. Over open ground is not the way to do it but you have to give him full marks for trying. Must go pack now. Sunscreen...check Beach towel...check Scuba gear...check Nubile young wife...Check Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Lawyer ist Rechtsanwalt? Nein. Lawyer ist der Sensenmann und der Todbringer. Ja! Das ist gut. ------------------ Some days the sun just don't shine up a dog's behind. -- Catfish Hunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Pengdiskussionsforumsuebereinkunftsvorschlag Pengdiskussionsforumsuebereinkunftsvorschlag Pengdiskussionsforumsuebereinkunftsvorschlag Pengdiskussionsforusningingihsd... damn! ------------------ "I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..." Hamsters/Meeks(!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark IV Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Ah, PzKw IV ausf A (you are in no way good enough to be better than ausf A) Why must you Saugists always drag a theoretical discussion into a personal flame war? I will attempt to keep this discussion on the impersonal and constructive level, as khrisl has done. Anyway, better Ausf. A than a mere soft target, and your mutti was a kubelwagen... you forget the third method which is expounded in the excellent books Ich sauge: Angriff und Verteidigung and Fehlertaktik by Feldmausmarschal Bauhaus. Surely, even you can see that this does not fall into your two methods Had Bauhaus lived, it is possible that his theories might have evolved into a synthesis of the two philosophies, but it cannot be seen as a legitimate third alternative. The uniqueness of his approach was in deceiving the enemy into Killing Them All. While novel, even radical, this notion is hardly opposed to the Maneuverist and Attritionist philosophies, but merely redirects those energies. Sadly, both Bauhaus and his adherents (most notably Krodskii, of 1st Shocked Army fame) perished in battle (usually in the first 10 minutes) before his theories could be fully developed and understood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 I just wanted to share my new sig, courtesy of Goanna, and that after I'd subjected him to my Scenario of Terror as part of OpLiz. Can't you just feel the love in the pool? Okay everyone, group hug ... {Sit DOWN Bauhaus}. Okay back to normal mode. MarkIv, (note the small "v" ... I don't know what it means but it LOOKS demeaning) our own Virtual Idiot, has forgotten that the word "Defend" comes from the root words of "def", which is the Texan pronounciation of "deaf" and of course "end" which is obvious. Therefore the word "Defend" refers to the end that can't hear ... which is where MarkIv pulled his thesis from. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 02-08-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Lawyer ist Rechtsanwalt? Nein. Lawyer ist der Sensenmann und der Todbringer. From ze vay he talks, I'd zay Rechtsanwalt is more like ze Sensi-mann. But being a good operative of the previous junta, no doubt he didn't einatmen. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!! For Kiiiirists sake, man! Don't you READ my posts? Okay.. wait.. Don't answer that. Anyway... For my last tomb update you screwed up who I beat the snot out of. It was NOT Mace but Moriarty I beat the piss out of. SO... CORRECTION: jshandorf - WIN Moriarty - LOSER!! NOT MACE Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease make the correction. Die. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 CORRECTION: jshandorf - WIN Moriarty - LOSER!! NOT MACE Well, let's be clear on the CONCEPT here ... Jeff is referring to his GAME, in the real world of course, BOTH Moriarty and Mace are massive losers as we all know. Joe ------------------ I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agua Perdido Posted February 8, 2001 Share Posted February 8, 2001 Originally posted by stevetherat: Are you suggesting that ... YOU [are] gonna hurt a demi hero like ME? Yes, I'm going to eat you for lunch like the half-sandwich you claim to be, then expel your remains on the battlefield to join the blood of your slaughtered troops in fertilizing the soil. "Hurt" hardly begins to describe the scale of stomping you're in for, you blouse-wearing show-tune afficianado. Die-a-lot, real soon. Agua Perdido ------------------ Feel the pain of outlaw cinema! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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