I Started A New Peng Thread And All I got Was This Lousy Hunk Of Cess.....

[mensch]

originaly posted by the Feline named Katty:

"LOL What?? That's so not true! We were playing and you said, "Wahhh! I'm sleepy! I want to go sleep!" I said, "No way, lamer. You can either stay and finish or leave and I'm counting it as a surrender for you." You left, I won. Get it straight you lil' pissant. =P"

well if it ain't the cats meow.. yes my fuzzy little furball you did yes want to continue. but that was our TCP/IP game.. our PBEM and I'll spell it slowly for you P B E M was started was going.. and then stopped as I was starting to win so be so kind to send the return file which I have been waiting for oooh 2 FECKING MONTHS NOW!!.

If you lost the file, well you lost it... set me up agian 1000pts attack.. you defend since, to you it appears I am attacking you... ooh did i wuffle your fur da wong way? I got a iching to finish at least one pbem with you and its going to be this one.

all the catnip in the world ain't going to save you this time.

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Stuka]

Wassat Menschy?! Wassat!!

Cattt menschy Cat!

Skitch the cat! Skitch it!!

good boy! *pats head*

Heres a bone...now sod off.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Ahhh, the pleasure of being in a foreign city entirely at my employers expense.... A 4 1/2 star hotel, unlimited food and alcohol expense account and a fistfull of cab charge vouchers basically means that I now own this city.

Except for Mace, who is a free spirit that can never be owned. Although Kitty does have an small offer placed with Maces broker, it would appear that his reserve has not been met. A fistfull of wool is hardly deemed as satisfactory. 2 fistfulls maybe but one? Never!

Right Stuka, you just point out the nearest sheep to me and I'll collect full payment!

What, you can't see one?

Well, duh, it is the middle of Melbourne!

Mace

Coming soon to a theatre near you: Mensch in "deathwish2001"!

[Stuka]

I'm gonna back Mensch, he may be small and insignificant, but I see that as an advantage.

Kitty's mothering instincts will come to the fore and she will bite him on the back of the neck, carry him back to the kitty basket and proceed to lick his furballs.

As mother cats are want to do.....sometimes.

[mensch]

death wish.. FEH!!.. whats the worse she can do.. insult me?? ooh big deal!! shes 5000km away from me! so she showing up on my doorstep would be... "interesting" if anything she would take up the challange again and stick to her GUNS... and not pull a "hmm hes winning I'll just pretend I have cramps and can't play anymore" attitude... besides she makes me blush like a little 13 year old boy who just got his first kiss.

she makes me laugh.. thats why I kill her last.

[mensch]

Originally posted by Stuka:

As mother cats are want to do.....sometimes.

thats a nice trick I would love to see... considering I am a Hunting Dog.

[Agua Perdido]

Dammit, I leave the Peng Thread unattended for a few pages/religious schisms and it all goes to crap. Or stays there. Whatever.

Updates:

I let stevetherat kill one of my tankettes to flush out his paper-armored Marders. One exploded quite nicely when the tankette's big brother peeked out. I 'zook-slapped the other one and butchered the crew to serve as an example to the rest of his cowering defenders. Now I can bring up my reserves and put the real hurt on.

Croda is shelling random patches of woods (although I think he's stopped shelling himself) and shooting up churches. I think he took being labeled an anti-Pope personally. Did I mention that I hate fighting in snow? BTS, pls fix or do somefink.

Seanachai has made contact with my stout defenders on our micro-map, and will soon get a taste of dee-fense, American style. I can't quite make out his units in the gloom, but I'm sure they're gamey crap. He may already be cheating.

Agua Perdido

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Feel the pain of outlaw cinema!

[Lawyer]

Originally posted by Forever Babra:

Update:

Lawyer has finally deduced (duh) that I am evacuating my troops. He thinks that this is gamey and I am the gamiest of all gamey bastards. Now, did I complain when he sent me his no doubt carefully-chosen setup which gave me ONE tank and him a few platoons worth? Nooooo.... Did I complain that I got two spotters and he had at least six? Noooo.... I can't wait for the AAR (like THAT will ever happen) to see what the force balance really was. Y'all might wanna avoid this one folks. Bit of a crybaby if ya ask me.

Question: What is Babra fighting for?

Answer: To save his ass and blame somebody else for his own stupidity.

Jeez, I send BA-BA-WA-WA-Whiner a computer generated setup to avoid the inevitable gamey charge, which he now has embraced with zeal as the last haven of a sore loser. Wonder if we would see such accusations if he was winning? Hmmm....

Poor Babs chose to defend an open field with all his troops, which was about six miles from the village and victory flags, where he left all his armor unprotected.

Then Babby squeals with glee on the forum when he massacres my scout company out in the field with all his infantry (far, far away from the real victory objectives). He bored us again with another girlish squeal when he (get this!!) disabled a damaged HT, and acted like he won WWII. Very sad and pathetic.

Meanwhile, the Honest Lawyer leads a classic successful combined arms attack upon Babby's village, knocks out his two AT guns, 75mm pillbox, MarkIV, Puma, and HT's (yeah I see the other one, Bab-Poo). Babby's bold counterstrike to my attack is to high-tail all his remaining infantry off the other edge of the map.

Wow, what imagination! What guts and glory! As I told him, he could have saved us a few weeks by doing it on turn one if that's all the fight he has in him. He must be one of those froggy canucks who avoids real fighting.

So I will mop up what is left. And yes, I will send him the AAR cuz I have nothing to hide.

His stupid strategy yields predictable results, and now he comes here whining. Have none of it, Lads!

Now please return to your normal dingleberry picking rituals.

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You're never alone with a schizophrenic.

[stevetherat]

Agog Parsnip is right. He's got me over a barrel (oh no, where am I going with this?). No, no sexual metaphors here, sorry.

He's advancing onto my small protuding element of German Paras. I thought these chaps considered themselves hard, but one little poke from those Yankee boys and they were soon offering themselves up.

He also brought up a couple small tanks through the centre of his column, one of which I managed to slap down into the dirt.

At this point I thought it prudent to bring out my big boys, twin Marder IIIs. Oh yes, they strutted their stuff wonderfully, until Amish Perpendicular put one of his thrusting shells into the exposed rear of one of the 'brothers' and it blushed into a fiery bloom. The twin, lost without his sibling, stood dumbstruck and suffered exactly the same fate.

So my plan of rushing into the back door of my opponent had failed completely and the tables have turned. I now lay helpless and exposed to the torrential advances of this young pretender.

I fear all is lost.

StR

[DekeFentle]

Originally posted by Shandorf:

How about "Whuppin' boy"? ...

Mmmmm... Ok "Whuppin' boy" it is. Now I can see no further excuse from you Agua Perdió for turning down my challenge. Take heart you are no longer the bottom of the pile. However in order to keep me there you had best show your betters that you can keep your spot over me. The gauntlet is down do you have a pair?

When Whuppin' boy speaks everybody listens.

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Winning is why we play!

[Croda]

Originally posted by DekeFentle:

...Now I can see no further excuse from you Agua Perdió for turning down my challenge...

This sounds like a challenge for....Crodaburg!

And before you nay-sayers jump all over my ass with your spiked heels, recall that the last 2 people given Crodaburg to play (ButtCheek6 and JarJarHead) never returned. My guess is it's a good way to get rid of unwanted trash.

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Woot! - Maximus2k

The New CessPool

[Berlichtingen]

Woot!

[This message has been edited by Berlichtingen (edited 03-08-2001).]

[PeterNZer]

Quick note.

Steve, you know drinks are cancelled right? Sorry I've been in meetings all day I won't be there etc etc. Lets all do it again soon.

PeterNZ

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- Official owner of the sig files of Dalem and Croda -

Der Kessel scenario design group

Combat Vision movies

[stevetherat]

For God's sake, bring on the freakin' Crodaberg. He's been whining about his blasted scenario for weeks. Come on, let's shut the bugger up!

I cast 1 vote for Crodaberg.

StR

[DekeFentle]

Originally posted by Mace:

Oh looky, DekeFentle's brought in a mate to back him up....nothing we aussies like than a bar room brawl....Stuka, you do the fighting, I'll nurse the drinks!

Mace

Mace:

Do you ever tire of being wrong? your assertion that Naja is my mate is undoubtedly a lame attempt to insult him. Although Naja is obviously an astute, perspicacious broweser of this urine stained troop of posting primidona’s, I have never before today seen his name.

You Aussies don’t seem to be capable of taking a challenge from the Whuppin’ boy mush less an altercation of a corporealy violent nature in a tavern. I would be willing to wager you and Stuka drink Budwiser.

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Winning is why we play!

[stevetherat]

Yes, got the message P.

Did you get my mail this morning?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Priest:

Shansi you have a problem with me then that is fine. But in this case I did not invite this problem here. That was Matt so yell at him (boy I would pay to see that). Check your sources before you use second rate sayings with the intent in hurting my feelings. It will not work even if you have Lorak write the sayings for you!

Since I have difficulty determining when you're jesting and when you're serious, I will treat this as the latter and rush forward to reassure you. Priest, old chap, I would never intentionally hurt your feelings! In fact, I rush forward to protect and cherish them. I will gather them up, and take them home and keep them in a fur-lined box (but not real fur, that's cruel). I know that it was the Mad One who advocated that the knuckle dragger plow furrows on his slouch over to our digs. I but used your post as the engine by which to ridicule the aforesaid idjit. There, all better now? Friends again? That's lovely, truly it is. Now, in the interest of staying the course, wouldn't you like to insult someone? Taunt a bit more, perhaps? Go ahead, that's why we're here.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[DekeFentle]

Originally posted by Stuka:

Me? fight DerKinkyFerkle? Not bloody likely, hitting retards is downright gamey!

Again nothing but salivating drivel from a diminutive, dingleberry picking pontiff of PENG. Try again and put some heart into it. Must be all that Budwiser you wanna be Aussies have been swilling.

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Winning is why we play!

[This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-08-2001).]

[stevetherat]

Talking of Aussies, where is our beloved Kitty?

She got a right e-beating from turd called LeftWaffle or something yesterday and she has not been heard of since.

Anyone?

StR

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by Shandorf:

How about "Whuppin' boy"? Since Hiram left we have need of a good whuppin' boy, and besides Bauhaus gets lonely at night and needs someone to cuddle. You might do.. yep. You sure would, you're just about the riiiight height.

Jeff

First off Shandork, I'm 6'5", so I do not stare at crotch level as you. Secondly, I chose to cuddle with my wife, leaving the barn yard animals to fight over you. So Mr. Sheep Shagger, woot....errrrr whoop on this boy. You know, you've been been calling me out lately....I think it's high time that we settle this on the battlefield. Send me a set up you whanker!

[DekeFentle]

Originally posted by Croda:

This sounds like a challenge for....Crodaburg!

And before you nay-sayers jump all over my ass with your spiked heels, recall that the last 2 people given Crodaburg to play (ButtCheek6 and JarJarHead) never returned. My guess is it's a good way to get rid of unwanted trash.

Whoever the hell Crodaburger is I accept. We'll see who returns upon their shield. Speculating that he's your alter ego Croda, the question begs to be asked. How can such a seething syphilitic crater upon the hidden most orifice of humanity such as yourself have enough ego to have an alter? Either way, send terms or setup. If you're too lazy for that tell me what address to send to and I'll put it together.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

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Winning is why we play!

[Hamsters]

Originally posted by Priest:

Jibba jabba!

Check your sources before you use second rate sayings with the intent in hurting my feelings. It will not work even if you have Lorak write the sayings for you!

Good god, do you see the kind of gibberish we have to put up with while schooling this poor sot in the art of war? He's not just pathetic, he's retarded. We didn't edit that quote and every time we look at it, we feel sick.

So far Priesty boy hasn't so much as shown his hide and the only action has been between our jabo (Our jabo addiction has gotten serious, we don't even remember buying this one) and his various invisible tankses. This hasn't stopped dear Kenneth (Gah, his name is Kenneth, what kind of name is that?) from mangling the English language roughly 800,000,000,000,000,002 times in his various E-mails. We feel like we're playing Barney Fife in that episode of The Andy Griffith Show when Barney gets a frontal lobotomy.

[Hamsters]

Originally posted by DekeFentle:

Sniffle whine bitch moan.

Hey Croda, we'll play the whuppin' boy at Crodaburg, we've been wanting to play it for a while now. Just make sure to edit it a bit so that our side has a few more KTs or somefink.

[BFCElvis]

In other interesting news..I am making another beer run. Anyone want me to pick you up anything while I'm there? Just let me know...I'll be O'Neals.

http://www.onlinevenue.com/onlinestore/stellacam/barscreen_index.asp?reg_id=61316

PS I am looking for an afternoon (about 3pm EST) game when I get back. Someone drop me an email if you're interested.

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"When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello

[Croda]

Originally posted by DekeFentle:

Whoever the hell Crodaburger is I accept. We'll see who returns upon their shield. Speculating that he's your alter ego Croda, the question begs to be asked. How can such a seething syphilitic crater upon the hidden most orifice of humanity such as yourself have enough ego to have an alter? Either way, send terms or setup. If you're too lazy for that tell me what address to send to and I'll put it together.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

The prophecies have always told of the one who is dumber than ****, and lo! The prophecied has come to pass.

You should know that Crodaburg, had you read up on your Peng, is the ugly befreckled stepsister of a scenario I created to torment those whose souls wouldn't rate a search-party of drunken monkeys were they lost. That sure seems to apply to you. It has been dubbed the official (if wholly unrecognized and unsupported) death map of petulent CessPool newbies whose verbosity is outgunned only by their ignorance.

You shall play Crodaburg versus Agua Velva. The winner receives the distinct right and privelege of continuing their current reviled persona. The loser also receives the distinct right and privelege of continuing their current reviled persona. You see, this conflict is strictly for the enjoyment of the Pool denizens who've spent more than a week's sabatical in this dank hole. You must post daily reports of the game so that we can laugh at you like so many clubbed baby seals, bleeding on the beach, eyes lolling out of their sockets, tethered by fraying optic nerves being pecked at by carrion loving birds of all makes and models. I shall speed the setup to either you or your opponent. And remember, there's no need to die with honor, just make sure you f*cking die.

Whinging is why we play!

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Woot! - Maximus2k

The New CessPool