Why can't someone real start the Peng Challenge Thread?

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

News came across the wire earlier today that Peter was in NYC. Plans are already in the works to meet up. I would prefer to meet in NYC but those pussies Hiram and Peng are pushing for Philly. If any of you other limp wristed peace lovin bleeding heart liberals want any say in his destiny let me know.

I guess the up side to Philly is if we went to O'Neals you could buy us beers online.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Dude, I didn't push for anything. Don't use me as an excuse, you filthy Nissan selling paintywaist. The online beers does seem like a good idea though. Its much closer to your house than mine though. Hmmm...poor Peter.

[BFCElvis]

Mr. Ghostboy, I believe you expressed a dislike for NYC (hey it's not for everyone).

There is a beer.com place in Hells Kitchen too. So we could always do that.

[Stalin's Organ]

Ahh.....there's so little here to bother coming back to - if it was warmer, dryer, more comfortable and enjoyable then it'd almost be like coming home!

I'm pleased to see Lardo acknowledge his defeat as the Germans in Crodaberg a couple of threads ago (I bin catching up y'see!!) - it's always so much fun smacking the smarties down a bit!

I know you're all so glad to hear back from me, so I won't overload your synapses too much for now.

Toodle pip!

[Seanachai]

I think the next Peng Challenge Thread should be titled:

Peng Challenge Tripods: Well What Do You Think Is Holding Peng and Iskander Upright? Helium?

[Lorak]

Well...

I have finished reading up on the threads I missed while I was gone....

I have always posted the results from the e-mails I have recieved.

Notable:

Shaw-justicar

Foobar-knight

Roborat-knight

Lars-knight

Lawyer lost to Peng (this was not sent to me.. but I am not blind enough to overlook that one)

I know have a question to pose to the old ones. I agree and would gladly add Fionn to our honor roll... my only question is:

In what capacity?

As a knight? given a title?

Just let me know.

Lorak the loathed.

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

... I agree and would gladly add Fionn to our honor roll... my only question is:

In what capacity?

As a knight? given a title?

Just let me know.

Lorak the loathed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What's the Latin term for the deification of an Emperor? That might fit.

Oh, Seanachai if you weren't spot on yet again and losing in our game, I'd belittle you; given where you're headed, you've got it bad enough....

Lorak, I'm as happy to see you as Jake and I are an empty bottle.

[Not edited for appalling grammar.]

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Well...

Lawyer lost to Peng (this was not sent to me.. but I am not blind enough to overlook that one)

Lorak the loathed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't forget to add the second asterisk denoting a game that Peng won because he only had to hit "GO". And add a third asterisk denoting how stupid it was for me to choose the Allies in that slaughter.

And be sure to note that I beat somebody else while you were temporarily returned to your alien family. I just can't remember who it was, but it was an important win. Trust the Lawyer on that.

And also note that, in your absence, Joe Shaw earned the extra title of Chicken Knigget for shamefully avoiding an honest challenge from OGSF.

So it was done, let it be written...

[Mace]

..and if it slipped your notice, oh Lorak, I was victorious (just) over that scaley, cold blooded one Goanna.

Mace

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And also note that, in your absence, Joe Shaw earned the extra title of Chicken Knigget for shamefully avoiding an honest challenge from OGSF.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey Pal (kindly note the implied sarcasm), all he has to do is challenge in the proper formate (see the recent challenge by CM Player) and the fight's ON! I refuse, however, to play a barbarian who thinks that a reasonable challenge consists of dragging his claymore from it's scabbard, hawking a loggie (likely onto his feet where it won't be noticed), gnawing upon the edge of his shield and bellowing like a bull in heat as he rushes toward the challenged party with Claymore on high. I won't have it.

Joe

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Well...

I know have a question to pose to the old ones. I agree and would gladly add Fionn to our honor roll... my only question is:

In what capacity?

As a knight? given a title?

Just let me know.

Lorak the loathed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm, glad Lorak's back. He gives the place some tone, keeps track of the drivel and important details. 'Course, I have to add that the length of time of his disappearance pretty much exactly coincides with either a stay in Rehab, or a punitive stint in the county Workhouse (let's hope it was the latter).

Lorak, my dear chap, remeber that we were involved in a game before your internment. If you need the turn re-sent, just let me know.

I will be spending some time later trying to match Lorak's absence with my losses during same. Lorak, when did you flee the Thread, date-wise? It will help me to sort things out to know.

As for Fionn, he did offer to Champion the Peng Challenge Thread, should it ever need his services, and though 'Champion of the Peng Challenge Thread' sounds a little grandiloquent, it would seem to fit.

What say Berli and Peng, as well as the Justicar and other Knights? I've learned my lesson of late: no more rushing to despotism. I've seen what unbridled pride and posturing can lead to.

Oh, and on that note, now that he's back, I want to see Stalin's Organ and Slapdragon fight.

And not in some humiliating, rigged, joke scenario, either. I mean with croquet mallets and Garden Weasels™, and preferably on live pay-per-view. I'd pay bigtime for that, especially with an open bar (stocked by Berli and Mark IV, run by Iskander, and swept up by Lars)

Barring that, I think they should have to do some standard scenario, and gain some grace points by amusing us with their belittlement of each other, as well as something approaching AARs. Doesn't matter if they give away vital info to each other, as that will be even more amusing.

Oh, I know, make them play one of the scenarios released with the Demo. We could get all nostalgic while they slog their way through it again.

'ronin squire', forsooth! We ought to have Hakku Ichiu kick you right in the bollocks.

[Stalin's Organ]

Lardo made kaynigit?

Have you guys all gone senile all of a sudden??! (Not you Seniletea - we know you are already)

[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Slapdragon]

Well Sean, back after letting a bafoon do your dirty work (and as bafoons go that Dweezill character is pretty low on the totem pole, why don't you make him a knight?) I accept a tourney against stalin, after I finish kicking CMplayer in the yarbles, busting Grog Dorosh in a 5000 point mega battle (I just killed 9 Rireflies in an ambush) and after I give Dalem the game I have promised him.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

Well Sean, back after letting a bafoon do your dirty work (and as bafoons go that Dweezill character is pretty low on the totem pole, why don't you make him a knight?) I accept a tourney against stalin, after I finish kicking CMplayer in the yarbles, busting Grog Dorosh in a 5000 point mega battle (I just killed 9 Rireflies in an ambush) and after I give Dalem the game I have promised him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Please, lad, many low and horrible things can be laid at my door, and marked against my name (in point of fact, I've rather turned my home into a museum of such). But La Dweezil's gibberings are its own. The being shows some ability, and a certain loyalty to the Peng Challenge Thread. But here, we are swine of iron will. He must cease his semi-lurker mode, and join us, as a true Cesspooler, if he would move beyond the stage of being belittled, dismissed, spat upon, and mocked, to the real pith of the matter, that is, to being merely insulted and taunted.

Now, Slapdragon, I believe I see you amending your ways, at least to outward appearances. You posture, you presume, but you seem to have begun the process of walking the 'Trail of Tears' that true Warriours of the Peng Challenge Thread must endure.

Humility, lad, is not inconsistent with taunting. Witness our own Hiram Sedai, Phillies Phan, Hiram's Ghost, who took self-effacing, head-bobbing posting to a Gandhi-esque ability to taunt.

When you arrive, you are naked, and nothing; so much spit from the Outer Boards. When you post, you become a dismissed figure of derision. When you persevere, you become an annoyance. When you accept your dismissal, you become a possibility. When you post as a possibility, you become a serf. When you are abused in a grudging way, you become a potential squire. When you are abused as who you are, you are a squire. When your are abused as a squire, you begin to see the inside jokes, the ways of the people, the posts of community. When you accept them all, and post as yourself, you will be knight. Once you are knight, all barriers become merely constant abuse. Abuse without dismissal is acceptance.

When you are dismissed, abused, maligned, and scorned as an equal, open your hands, and the butterfly will fly free.

Take careful note of who eats the sonofabitch, though, because they've probably got it in for you.

[Marlow]

Ladies and GentleGrogs:

I will be either busy or sans internet access for about a week and a half. No turns till then unless you are very lucky and I get around to sending one in the next two days. I won’t miss the useless lot of you.

Welcome back Sir Lorak. Ordinarily I would follow your directive, and e-mail the results of battles that have been won, but I have two of particular note:

First, I have smashed the Jefe “The Ego” Shandork’s SS Ubertruppen in a unlimited purchase, night QB. He brought a knife to a gun fight and purchased armored panzergrenadiers and Tigers for a close range scrap against my Veteran Paras with predictable results.

Marlow Glorious Victory – Up the Ox and Bucks.

Shandy Duncan Humiliating Defeat.

Second, I have proved that the Legaltruppen are a hollow force, fit only to file briefs (or is that fill their briefs). Of course it could be their commander … In any event, I swept the field of his gamey, computer selected Super SMG troops and Devil Hetzers with an American Heavy Weapons company on the attack.

Ordinarily, such a victory would be of little consequence, but I was forced to tell Herr Lawyer that he was “the greatest CM player ever,” and I still feel the pain of that statement (it was for free beer, what could I do?).

Marlow Stunning Victory

Lawyer Crushing Defeat

[Leeo]

Welcome back, Sir Lorak. I had many victories and a few losses, and I can't be bothered with keeping track of them and updating you. Winning matters not, except for the brief and illusory taunting that can be wrung from it.

I spent last weekend camping, drinking, fishing, and crabbing (not necessarily in that order). I caught a 27 lb Chinook salmon, and I played the line til the fish and myself were tuckered. As I brought the beast slowly to the boat, and we exchanged grudging looks of respect, one thought, and one thought only, passed through my mind:

I bet Lawyer's eyes are even beadier than those of this fish.

[Joe Shaw]

Well I also am pleased to see that Lord Lorak has returned. It hasn't been easy being Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread through this challenging time in our history but I flatter myself (as should all RIGHT thinking CessPudlians) that I have acquitted myself and the Justicariate with honor and dignity and, most importantly, that we have UPHELD THE TRADITIONS OF THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD (try typing that sometime with your left pinkie holding down the shift key ... yeah I could have used the Caps Lock key but that would have been wrong).

It now appears that Seanachai is carefully on watch in the matter of Slopdraggin' the serf (or SSN, depending upon the results of my double secret, writ on flash paper in invisible ink in code with a one time pad, report submitted to Lord Lorak). As a result the Justicariate, while still carefully monitoring the events, shall go back to downloading por ... uh ... upgrading our graphical library for future actions.

I AM, I admit, still troubled by the grog Dorosh thread. Not by it's existence mind, good place for 'em if you ask me, but should Slopdraggin' ever aspire to rank HERE ... there may needs be a reckoning.

I'd like to take this opportunity ... thanks. It's one of the finest samples I've seen, I especially like the chrome on the lid.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Humility, lad, is not inconsistent with taunting. Witness our own Hiram Sedai, Phillies Phan, Hiram's Ghost, who took self-effacing, head-bobbing posting to a Gandhi-esque ability to taunt.

When you are dismissed, abused, maligned, and scorned as an equal, open your hands, and the butterfly will fly free.

Take careful note of who eats the sonofabitch, though, because they've probably got it in for you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wise words Sean, but I just am not one to be humble in a world of cretins and sloths.

See, I had this friend who woke up one day with tubes sticking out his nose, in a hospital with a tag on his wrist that said "John Doe". He could not remember who he was, why he was in this city, or much past his favorite brand of ice cream and the fact that he had a high school education. Very tramatic for him, but he passed through the humbling trauma into the realization that he was a rock upon which the oceans of the world crashed, and that nothing in the universe could stand between him and self actualization. He could be a doctor, he could be a fireman, he could run for office, or be a farmer, and he could not fail because there was no failure, only existence.

My friend's experiences taught me that false humility in the face of a dangerous world is a useless exercise in mental masterbation, as is lackeyism, toadyism, or even the sin of monatism. I read Wittgenstien, Hoffman, Luckman and Wilts.

Now a liberal doo gooder would approach the Peng Challenge Thread as a project of mercy. Blending in they would carefully take notes while all the time secretly revelling in the knowledge that they are the great white hunter who stealthfully conceals their superiority to study the inferiors. The liberal hippy tourist would don Birkenstocks and strategically ripped Levi Jeans and offer you poolers a few coppers to take them on various exotic native experiences like spear fishing and to a luau with an apple stuffed pig roasting on an open fire. The ultra religious would bask in your decadence while internally railing at your wicked culture, and the dimwit would switch over to this thread from the footballl scores and all those stats they cannot understand and wonder what you all were drinking.

I on the other hand do not stoop to these pretensions. Knowing my place as a transplant and non native, I take it by force. I come not to cure the thread, or make it better, but to live in it and ridicule its members, including myself. My mere existence gets people's panties in a bunch, as it should. Each word I type steams the clams of a select set of intellectual infidels, which is praise to my continued existence on earth. Should some perp take me out tomorrow night with a gamey shot under my arm where my body armor rides to low (or for that matter if an undergraduate gets me as I lecture in front of class) then I will pass knowing my mark, merely a spray of personal intellectual urine, has forever been made on the Peng Challenge Thread, although even I am not so bold as to judge if it was better or worse for my coming.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Should some perp take me out tomorrow night with a gamey shot under my arm where my body armor rides to low ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh BOY there he goes again guys, you know he really should BOLD that stuff so we don't miss it ... you know like perp and body armor ... man it just sends chills doesn't it? Mind you ... we should BE so lucky.

Joe

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh BOY there he goes again guys, you know he really should BOLD that stuff so we don't miss it ... you know like perp and body armor ... man it just sends chills doesn't it? Mind you ... we should BE so lucky.

Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Speaking of intellectual infidels. But I must say, for a nimrod, Joe is very entertaining. I can see why you made him justicar. I just imagine him doing something really boring in real life, like buffing floors or making bank loans for new double wide trailers or somefink.

Anyway, he is on my list of challenges to make after I finish beating Dalem to death and possibly engaging the Stalin in a dual of organs, my brain versus whichever one he chooses to use.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Lardo made kaynigit?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Does that annoy you Stalin?

Good.

[Stalin's Organ]

Good grief no - I'm glad you've been promoted to a suitable level of stupidity and incometence!

Now I KNOW why you're an easy beat!

(edited just to annoy Macie Grey)

[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

yo've been promoted to a suitable elvel of stupidity and incometance!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Although his post could use some editing, at least he didn't go on about not having done any...

[Edited because I do whether mine need it or not. And then I go on about it.]

[ 10-11-2001: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

Good grief no - I'm glad yo've been promoted to a suitable elvel of stupidity and incometance!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's you've, level and incompetence.

As an elitist organisation, we do try to maintain certain standards to impress the outsiders. It's just a shame that most of ours have slipped to somewhere around our ankles.

Mace

[Stuka]

Hear ye, hear ye!

Your old Uncle Stukey is back. After a 3 week haitus due to that lovely NIMDA virus, works' server is back on line.

I've got work to do now, so kindly sod off.

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Second, I have proved that the Legaltruppen are a hollow force, fit only to file briefs (or is that fill their briefs). Of course it could be their commander … In any event, I swept the field of his gamey, computer selected Super SMG troops and Devil Hetzers with an American Heavy Weapons company on the attack.

Ordinarily, such a victory would be of little consequence, but I was forced to tell Herr Lawyer that he was “the greatest CM player ever,” and I still feel the pain of that statement (it was for free beer, what could I do?).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What a pathetic bleat for Marlow to feel the need to re-post a "victory" he crowed about six weeks ago. I guess he hasn't had many wins in his PBEM career, so he rewinds and plays this one over and over again.

Let it be know to all that I had a "Bad Herr" day where everything went wrong, so he won by default. I mean, you know it ain't going well when an HT fires all the way across the map with MG fire and shocks a concrete 75mm pillbox that Mooloo claims he never even saw before.

As to Leeo, who is busy mounting the giant tick that he caught because it got fat and slow while sucking essential fluids from Fleeo's bottom area, there can only be one comment made. He gets back from his big "outdoor trip" (remember "Deliverance"?), and sends me the same feckin' turn I sent him before he left. I sent it back, but still haven't gotten the right turn, although he has time to post useless natterings here.

Way to go, Commando Leeo!

Damned Gits!!.....