Marlow Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Wildman: Herr Oberst....Frauline Obie....where are you. Bahhhh!!!! You stupid squire! (beats Wildchild over the head with Croda's leg) It was Speedy you were supposed to fight, not Her Ovaries!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Perhaps Knights should be rewarded for the hard work of raising up a squire (sit DOWN Bauhaus) by having their victories (fruit as they are of the tutorial and experience of the Knight) placed in the victory column of the Knight! Their losses, of course, would be the result of their own ineptitude and would serve a greater vaule as a reminder to them in THEIR loss columns. What say the Knights of the CessPool to this proposal? Ahh, dear opponent, methinks I like it better when one doth sleeps, for when awake thy brain is addled with thoughts that are the calibre of Mensch. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iskander Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by jd: First lesson will be in the humility of remembering that those of privileged rank often bestow a boon and favor upon such newcomers that allowing a win to slip gently into that goodnight, is oft practiced, and should be gratefully acknowledged. Am I not right, my young apprentice? Oh, my Most Just and Gracious Lord: I humbly, humbly beseech your pardon and mercy! I never meant to again mention that foul, horrid, crushing defeat of your... um... interesting! battleplan and... er... tactical style! That I, a worm, who could not tell a Puma in CM1 from the Duma in CM2, would ever have so totally humiliated you in my first battle 'gainst a 'Pooler shall not cross my lips again! I have said this before and stand by it 100%: embarrassments like that should be put behind us all, especially those on the receiving end of them. As always, I remain, Your Ob'dnt Squire . ------------------ "I send you a kaffis of mustard seed, that you may taste and acknowledge the bitterness of my victory." "Legal advice is very often divorced from reality in my humble opinion" - BTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by jd: After all as I recall, in the setup we recently played, carefully constructed by you to maximize your advantage, you lost! Wrong on both counts, you hairless recollection-challenged form-filler. 1. That QB setup was my first in the snow and quite fair until you filled your ranks with all HMG's all the time. You should appreciate that the snow blowing in DC is not made of ice, so you took unfair advantage of my innocence. 2. You seem to keep forgetting the very sound thrashing I gave you when first we met under YOUR setup, in which you failed to provide me with any info at all about the conditions. Didn't help you though. So we stand 1-1 in history, whether or not that git Lorak records it. BTW, I'll soon have the scalp of your boy Iksander who I must warn you drinks on the job. You have made yet another unwise squire choice, but then that's the way you are. ------------------ There are good reasons why the movie was called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Wildman: You'll stay on the piss-boy list until someone, and I can't imagine who, takes notice of you and makes you a squire. Ahhhh, finally a clear and succinct explanation for the decline of the modern military. Thank goodness they tell you what matching clothes to wear each day and who to salute so your brain doesn't get overwhelmed. With your mental acuity and gift for expression, you shall prosper well as a shoe-wipe for Pool scum. ------------------ There are good reasons why the movie was called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Herr Oberst: B. The only way someone can beat a Cesspooler is to be a cheating, gamey bastard. Good morning all (and a special hi to the feline one). Here I am 8:20am, this Thursday 22 March 2001, sitting at my PC at work and wondering how I can get through the day without doing any work. Suggestions welcome. But I digress, under rule B, I would like to report the following cheating, gamey bastards: JD and Sir OGPU. It is obvious that they are about to win our current jousts not through tactical brilliance (we are after all talking about JD and SirOGPU) but either by tweaking the PBEM files in their favour, or black mailing the CMBO algorithms by threatening to release incriminating photos of these in compromising positions. There is a taint of corruption here, and I don't mean Joe Shaw. I will now be carrying out an official hearing into these malpractices (as representative of Government). However, if the two choose to step down through the submission of immediate surrenders, this matter need not be pursued any longer. Thankyou. Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 21, 2001 Share Posted March 21, 2001 Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Shaddup, ya pissboy serf. Agua Perdido Clever expression is a true gift. Now we finally have proof that you are a dandy verse writer for Hallmark. We always thought so. Joe Shaw will need to work with you on more than winning and protocol, eh Joe?. ------------------ This sig line honors the memory of Joe Shaw until he learns how to beat PNZ like everybody else does. [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Posted by the honorable Mace; Here I am 8:20am, this Thursday 22 March 2001, sitting at my PC at work and wondering how I can get through the day without doing any work. Suggestions welcome. Act like you are downloading or uploading files to or from your computer. Unless they monitor what you are downlaoding. In that case I say you type up fake reports, which in reality are witty responces to the slime at large(myself included). I have a feeling that is what alot of people do here to avoid work. Just a suggestion from you local piss-boy, oh mighty knight of the pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by armornut: Posted by the honorable Mace;.... Just a suggestion from you local piss-boy, oh mighty knight of the pool. That is some mighty fine grovelling, naive! It doth bring a tear to my eye, and a shine to mine boots. Keep this apeasement up, and I will have you as my squire, to carry the holey fluffy fleece, to care for my flock, and to assist me in the battle against all evil gamey bastards everywhere. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Marlow: On this 21st of March, 2001 ("a date which will live in infamy …") The evil Axis forces (hereinafter "Hun Bastards") of Herr Oberst Speedy (hereinafter "Gamey Freak Boy") did dishonorably defeat the valiant forces of Marlow (hereinafter "CM God") on the field of battle. No excuses for this topplement will be made except that Gamey Freak Boy did lie, cheat, steal, alter the game code, and commit other assorted acts of vile treachery such as the Cesspool has never seen before. Sir Lorak, please record in the sacred tome: Gamey Freak Boy Speedy: Win CM God Marlow: Lose Marlow, I was full of remorse and sorrow to have brought your undefeated record to a crashing halt. I can only plead that your blindingly brilliant strategy and tactics made it impossible for me to lose. On another note are you responsible for the irate phone calls I have been recieving from Herr Oberst? He keeps calling and raving about some great hairy oaf who keeps loitering outside his front door making 'Ugh..Ugh' noises. ------------------ Work is the curse of the drinking class. I have nothing else to say. Ya, quote that you rat bastards. -Meeks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
armornut Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: That is some mighty fine grovelling, naive! It doth bring a tear to my eye, and a shine to mine boots. Keep this apeasement up, and I will have you as my squire, to carry the holey fluffy fleece, to care for my flock, and to assist me in the battle against all evil gamey bastards everywhere. Mace Dear heroic and most honorable sir, if I may, I have had some experiance with sheep. Though I do not know the ins and outs of sheep as do you, oh mighty knight, but I have cared for them as a younger lad. I am honored that you would notice my undeserving presance. If I can be of any service, just hurl something heavy at my head. I would be proud to have a head injury from such a grand knight. [This message has been edited by armornut (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Speedy, Obie. Really what's the difference, Oh my leige lord? They are obviously malformed siamise dwarfs connected at the head, and only recently removed from each others disgusting presence. It matters not to me, Sir Marlow of the Smoke. I go where directed and kill what is needed. <Clears throat> Sir Speedy, Your cowardice is obvious to Pool-at-Large. Whereas I most mistakenly idenfied Frauline Obie as the defeater of my most noble Knigget Marlow, you elected to hide behind, baushaus style I might add, a large metal object hoping that this run-on sentence of verbal abuse whould never find your most pathetic ears. Well your worst fears have come true, you sissy boy. I've seen Frenchies with more gonads than you. If you have the moral fortitude, (which I expect you don't), you'll meet me on the field of battle where I will remove your pathetic head and present it to Sir Marlow of the Smoke. You Wanker. My apologies to Frauline Obie, not for the entirely accurate accounting of his faults, but for the thought that he had the ability to actual beat Marlow in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 A few notes before the business at hand: Joe Shaw had an excellent idea. Squires should never receive wins until they become knights, therefor winning the Knigget's Challenge would be their first win. This would make them take becoming knights a leetle more seriously. It's knave, not naive, Mace. Lawyer doesn't respond to creative insults, we don't think he gets them. It was Marlow's fault for calling him Herr Oberst Speedy. Come on Marlow, get with the game. Gamey Bastards: MarkIV Jefe Possibly Aitken Dying Bastards: Seanachai (Gamey, too, he chose TWO Churchills) jd Goanna Deke Bastards: PeterNZer Stuka Armornut Croda Dead Bastard: Priest, to whit, after being annihilated (Even though he rigged it so he'd get four Mark4s and a Tiger to our two (TWO!) Shermans, one of which was a 75), we still wiped the floor with him. Funny thing is, even if he won, we'd still be victorious, as he is our squire and all his victories are belong to us. Hamsters: W Priest: L Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Ahhhh, finally a clear and succinct explanation for the decline of the modern military. Thank goodness they tell you what matching clothes to wear each day and who to salute so your brain doesn't get overwhelmed. With your mental acuity and gift for expression, you shall prosper well as a shoe-wipe for Pool scum. Actually you pathetic beltway parasite, your probably the reason for our decline. Laywer: "No, no congressman, if you approve that miliary increace I'll let the press know that its comming out of Medicare." Congressweenie: "But its not, it will only lower the surplus by a little bit." Lawyer: "I don't care, I do it anyway, because I need to feel like a big man at least once in my life." So when your done with that bottle of Thunderbird and your delusions of power, send my a setup and we'll see about the decline of the miliary. You pathetic Wanker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 UGH! Its getting gross in here! All these bootlicking, fawning Serfs are getting the floor all sticky. Grovelling and cavorting in an attempt to catch the eye of a knigget....disgusting. It wasn't like that in my day, noo sireee. When I was a squire I had pride, pride I tell you! I merrily hopped around, banging the obligatory coconut shells together for the pleasure of my knight and I was proud. Bah! Kids these days....mutter.....mutter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 A little tome update for the wretches. chrisl-win JD-loss Speedy-win Marlow-loss Berli-win Leeo-loss Meeks-win Priest-loss Agua-win Stevetherat-loss Agua-win Major tom-loss (including this one because Tom was listed when battle was started) For the rest of you gits, my dvd-rom has died. I picked up a new one and hope to have it in tomarrow. So no turns went out today. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 All the chosen ones respond to The Lawyer's Challenge. And they all expire with certitude because there is no greater evil than a Lawyer on a kill-binge armed with a bunch of tanks and guns. Dumbass, you forget one person in particular who conquered the Lawyer's Challenge. I am yet to be defeated by you, although you certainly should have found a way to win our last engagement. I am glad that you have willingly given up your serf status. Until you can find a way to beat me you dont even deserve that. I mean, come on... I got beat by PENG, It cant be that tough.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Also this buffoon notion of you claiming your squire's victories is shallow and beneath my contempt. The only thing that's shallow is the end of the gene pool from whence you waded. For one who is great and awesome, when it comes to my CM play, I see through your willy ways Shaw. Your statement ... I Think it's a statement but the sentence structure is convoluted it could be a prayer for all I know ... makes reference to your CM Play. I presume, therefore, that you have also fallen under the spell of your own propaganda. ONE MORE TIME, standing in the CessPool (oh sorry, Bauhaus didn't mean to confuse you ... uh ... carry on) relys NOT upon the win/loss ratio but rather the ability to communicate the results of the game to the group. Your Neanderthal grunts and gobbles do little to embellish your reputation. May you be mocked as the brainless git you are.While THIS proposal has not met with the approval I'd hoped, I would remind you of your disapproval of my proposal as to the status of SERFS ... and the resultant overwhelming adoption of same by the group. YOUR disapproval, therefore, is a mark of it's value. Moving on to matters of IMPORT ... I note with interest that Lawyer (we don't capitalize serfs), in a typical lawyerly move, has failed to address my brilliant and incisive analysis of his complaint. Why is this so? Obviously because he can't refute the TRUTH. Joe ------------------ I HAVE LOST A BLOOD HAMSTER TO PETERNZ. MY SIG FILE IS HIS. PLEASE TICKLE MY FANCY BY GOING TO DER KESSEL .IF YOU GO HE MIGHT STOP BEATING ME AND USING MY POOR INNOCENT BODY FOR HIS OWN DEVIOUS PLEASURES [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wildman Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Now that I've taken care of the squirely doodees. It time for some game updates. My Kniggnet Marlow having seen the pillboxes screamed, "Run away, run away." And then launched an entire turn of smoke against it. So sometime in 2002 when the smoke clears I'll have his arse. Of course that Jackson is one lucky fella, the other pillbox just missed with two shots. Now what Liege. And lest I forget to mention the arty falling on those two platoons in the woods, I'll mention it. Berli has finally shown up with some spine. In an interesting tactic he is defending the town from behind the town. Of course the six pillboxes he purchased were all in the building, but there all but neutralized. He did manage to destroy a Sherman with recoiless rifle, however, it only had a few HE shells left so the loss isn't that bad. StevetheRat will be tasting 88mm shortly. That last greyhound's lifespan should be measured in minutes. And while that Easy Eight and Jumbo are on the left flank, they have to drive the entire length of the board to go around the woods. He will be dieing in large amounts shortly. As for Croda, he's read the forum and I've sent an email. But let me reiterate. I need you to resend the last turn you ninny! Your dying and forgeting about that fight will not change anything. I should be seeing some response from that foul Knigget Speedy sometime soon I hope. Unless his juevos have crawled back up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jd Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: But I digress, under rule B, I would like to report the following cheating, gamey bastards: JD ... either by tweaking the PBEM files in their favour, or black mailing the CMBO algorithms by threatening to release incriminating photos of these in compromising positions. There is a taint of corruption here, and I don't mean Joe Shaw. I will now be carrying out an official hearing into these malpractices (as representative of Government).[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 03-21-2001).] Ahh my dear Mace, an exposition is in order, I believe, because as I observed it is a lovely piece of work that is unfolding..... As I have acknowledged before, my unsuspecting kampfgruppe had tragedy befall it when Mace sprung a very pretty ambush. The sole surviving Panther was cut off, far from any support, it's only choice to flee or to stand and fight until relieved. Facing, as memory serves, several Hellcats, 3 Sherman Jumbos and another tank or two, my brave TC has been playing hide and seek with the task force assigned his destruction. I believe the Panther's kill stats are at 6 and still he continues to prowl behind Mace's lines. A true Ghost in the Darkness he bedevils and out maneuvers, outfoxes and out shoots all who are sent against him. Now some may comment that perhaps it is the hand behind the units that has resulted in such disastrous shortcomings in armor handling, far from it be my place to make such an observation, yet truly that end of the board marks the grave of many a crew, who expiring whispers a curse at the men that sent them to so needlessly die, oh so far from the succor of hearth...... ------------------ •Non illegitimi carborundum est •If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram [This message has been edited by jd (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Perhaps Knights should be rewarded for the hard work of raising up a squire (sit DOWN Bauhaus) by having their victories (fruit as they are of the tutorial and experience of the Knight) placed in the victory column of the Knight! Their losses, of course, would be the result of their own ineptitude and would serve a greater vaule as a reminder to them in THEIR loss columns. What say the Knights of the CessPool to this proposal? Let us take this one step further... since any loss by the Knight is obviously caused by time taken to train the Squire, the Squires should take on the Knights' losses Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest *Captain Foobar* Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Berli, In the realm of "market forces", you have suggested removing all incentive for a squires efforts towards victory. If you are the one who is credited with my win, and I take all of your losses, I will be hurt and angry. Perhaps a better idea would be that in some wierd shroedinger's cat, metaphysical way, the knight and the squire get one victory for a win, and they both get a loss for a loss. What the knight does on his own is not affected, but the squire's performance will affect both the squire and his sponsor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*: If you are the one who is credited with my win, and I take all of your losses, I will be hurt and angry. Well, duh! *kick* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Well, duh! *kick* Ah, the clarity of vision shines forth. Well done, Meeks. ------------------ "Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change." -- Oddball "Crap." -- Moriarty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 22, 2001 Share Posted March 22, 2001 Originally posted by Wildman: So when your done with that bottle of Thunderbird and your delusions of power, send my a setup and we'll see about the decline of the miliary. You pathetic Wanker. So the Lawyer snags another Victim into his clutches. Squealing victory, the prey thrashes about and moves itself into the Pit of Pure Evil where the Lawyer Reigns Supreme. Hehehe.... There is no escape and no hope. Little does Wildy-the-Poo-Poo know that I outrank him (no, not in smell you twits, where he **cough, gag** clearly excels). Yes, much to his dismay, I am a former MILITARY DEPENDENT!!! Lower and more devious than even the Croda beast, the military dependent preys upon the occifer class, mocking and shocking, and causing them much pain and humiliation, knowing all the while that junior occifers cannot counter-attack because we are the senior occifer's kids. Remember Chofu, Wildroot?? Well, I do. It was a real Air Farce base with Apes in trucks and everything painted a rather gay lifestyle blue, as I recall. Oh, and did I mention EVIL?? Bu-wha-ha-ha-ha.... So military life and Dependent Payback shall come as soon as the hard-working Lawyer can put Iksander to sleep, which is as soon as he can quit licking jd's tenders and return the final move of our game. Victory, sweet victory, shall be mine, sayeth the Lawyer. Justice Shall Prevail. So it is written, so let it be done... Send me the goddamn move, Iksander ya Groveling Git! ------------------ There are good reasons why the movie was called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 03-21-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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