Now is the Challenge of our discontent, made horrid cess by this son of Peng

[Stuka]

I'm having a beer right now, only its saturday afternoon, does that count?

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'm having a beer right now, only its saturday afternoon, does that count?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well I don't know, [sneer] have you ever drunk it before? [/sneer] You gamey, non-double blind playing swine. Oh and, AND, since it's SATURDAY there you know what happened on FRIDAY here and so you know what I did on my turn that I sent to you before I did it! I hope you're going to be proud of the win you'll be getting ... cheaters never win ... well okay, TECHNICALLY they DO win but they sure as hell don't deserve it ... winning that is. Jerk!

Joe

[Stuka]

Dear Just-A-Scooter Joe,

Your inability to command troops is beyond measure, after spreading your resources wayyy too thin, did you think to reinforce those areas that first reported contact with my arnour?

No, you did not.

Did it cross your Creme de month swilling brain that perhaps those tanks might have infantry with them, and maybe, maybe it might be a neat-o idea to do something about it?

No, you did not.

So what did you do instead?

You sat in your rapidly filling foxhole with your thumb up your ass waiting for the enemy to approach you.

Good plan Napoleon.

Gimps like you deserve the spanking they get from superior commanders.

[Beer] Stuka [/Beer]

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>{MUCH lying and such from Stuka that terminated with: Good plan Napoleon.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It's certainly true that, like Napoleon but UNLIKE YOU, I didn't have exact PRE-KNOWLEDGE of the enemy forces as well as PRIOR EXPERIENCE of the field of battle and what battle plans would and wouldn't work. Oh sure, it's very easy NOW to disparage my setup ... of course I DIDN'T KNOW what forces YOU had, for all I knew you had MORE infantry on the other flank. Go ahead, puff youself up for your great victory, but WE KNOW THE TRUTH!

CESSPOOLERS, be VERY careful playing Stuka, I would suggest ONLY QBs as you just can't trust him with pre-made scenarios ... of course you really can't trust him with those because I'll bet he hacked the game engine too. Best just not to play him, I mean after all ... he's Australian you know.

Joe

[Stuka]

Nice try at wriggling your way out of an incompetance court martial there Mr Tinkles.

You knew I had played that one before and had trouced that evil Scotsgit MacOGSF, while playing as the defending germans.

Honourably, Honourably I say, I offered for yourself to play as the germans, as you looked so desperately in need of a win and I, after a flurry of recent victories, was looking for a challenge.

Did you challenge my abilities?

Alas, you did not.

You sat in your pre-made positions picking your nose until the Stuken armoured juggernaut crushed you into the smelly french soil.

But in the spirit of frenzied hatred that I feel for you, Joey old sock, I'm gonna throw you another bone. Pick a game, any game, any scenario, any side and this time we'll make this one public.

Hows about the one that Squirmenboy was beating his sunken little chest about?

And this time, put some effort into it, Lad.

[Speedy]

Don't mention that damned Scot wanabe, the bloody bagpipes wailing on the telly at the moment is torture enough.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

(Just a thought, I could invite all the friendly punters from the Antithecess Thread over here for a week to ease our ruptured feelings about having a competitor, would everyone like that? Then we could have regular get togethers, perhaps combining the two groups into one at some future date!!!! Boy, I would sure be willing to do this if it would make youse guys happy, really I would.)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, you haven't gotten your way, nor been acknowledged the way you feel you should be? I know, ultimately, that you are an intelligent fellow, so I hope that I also know that you haven't engineered a situation and then used it to work a threat against the folks in the Peng Challenge Thread. Because, actually, that looks a lot like being a strutting bully, using the threat of inviting in a bunch of brownshirts to mess the place up, because you didn't get your way.

I first took you on as Squire, and advocated that you be given special treatment because I thought you were an intelligent and funny guy. But if you're going to maintain this 'I'm exempt' from any rules of community, and then threaten to disrupt the same community, then I'm sad for you.

I hope that is not what you're doing here, and I wait with every expectation of hearing that that is not your purpose, nor intent.

Also, I accept every abuse or jest that anyone would care to make over my own faith, and would accept with equanimity even the most degrading remarks concerning the Goddess, but I find my self concerned about your remarks of being a Quaker.

I was engaged for several years to a Quaker lass, born and bred in Philadelphia, and not of that 'Evangelical Quaker' sect that Richard Nixon claimed membership in, and one of the most significant and sincere marks of the Quaker faith is Pacifism. Now, my ex-fiancee (and still my deepest and most ardent friend) taught me that Quakers could defend themselves from physical attack, and could also defend others from such. So, on one level, there is no inherent contradiction in a member of the Society of Friends from serving as a Sheriff's Deputy. But, given that any sworn member of a 'police' force will be confronted with the need to sometimes use deadly force, and take a human life, it is, to say the least, an extremely unusual choice for any member of the Society of Friends to make.

So, if you are truly conversant with the writings of George Fox, and a member of the Society of Friends, than I would be interested to know, via email, because we should not further encumber the members of this bawdy, boisterous Thread, dedicated to mocking one's brethren (as opposed to threatening to disrupt it and destroy it by dragging in an angry group of enemies), further with our own personal discussions. I would not raise the point myself, except that you did so yourself, and I will not see the Society of Friends cast into disrepute by the actions of an individual.

So, Slapdragon, do you wish to be a member of the Peng Challenge Thread, or to be its Gaius Cassius Longinus, and send in some dim-witted Brutus to destroy it?

I would like to think, and wish fervently, that you would amend your ways, and accept a pilgrimage to Canterbury. There is excellent good report on the efficacy of a pilgrimage to Canterbury.

I tell you this not as one of the Old Ones, but rather from a man who, after a quiet moment of reflection, would see justice achieved in a quiet way, and without posturing and threats, however humourously intended.

Come, Slapdragon, let us make pilgrimage together. I imagine there are many stories we could tell the yet unknowing world. And, lad, we both have much to atone for.

Hell, ask anyone!

[Seanachai]

Lordynges, quod he, now herkneth for the beste,

But taak it nought, I prey yow, in desdeyn.

This is the poynt, to speken short and pleyn,

That ech of yow, to shorte with oure weye,

In this viage shal telle tales tweye,

To Caunterburyward I mene it so,

And homward he shal tellen othere two,

Of aventures that whilom han bifalle.

And which of yow that bereth hym best of alle-

That is to seyn, that telleth in this caas

Tales of best sentence and moost solaas-

Shal have a soper at oure aller cost,

Heere in this place, sittynge by this post,

Whan that we come agayn fro Caunterbury.

And for to make yow the moore mury

I wol my-selven goodly with yow ryde

Right at myn owene cost, and be youre gyde.

[Seanachai]

Sod This for a Lark

[Seanachai]

No Double post is to be found here,

but rather, a need to make quite clear

that UBB is full of limitations

and inadvertant posts, result in lamentations

and take much work, and effort to erase

and only by perfection, will meet our madcap pace.

and you who see not these levels of complexity

wonder not, nor frown at this perplexity.

[Speedy]

Is it just my impression or does someone around here like the sound of his own voice?

[CMplayer]

Careful Seanachai, as much as I love his stuff, the writings of Geoffery Chaucer Esquire might be a bit too raunchy for this pg13 thread.

[ 10-06-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[CMplayer]

Thaer waes sang ond sweeg | samod aetgaedare

fore Healfdenes | hildewiisan

gomenwudu greeted | gid oft wrecen

thonne healgamen | Hrothgaares scop

aefter medobence | maaenan scolde...

There was song and noise, everyone gathered, many tales of heros sung before the Halfdane. Then the harpstrings were touched, along the mead benches, and Hrothgar's bard told a story...

[ 10-06-2001: Message edited by: CMplayer ]

[MrSpkr]

Seanachai your posts are like a bad TV miniseries - one long monotous tale broken into four parts just to take up space which then gets adopted by every idiot lacking the wits to come up with something original.

At least, while I am here, some updates:

Elvis is upset that I don't take special care to send him turns more rapidly than Peng. Sod 'im for a lark.

Marlow is blowing up buildings on my left, and I am pounding his British wussies on the right. Sod 'im.

Berli and I are trading casualties. I am taking more than him. Sod 'im in particular.

jshandorf has pulled a minor victory out by his gamey last turn flag rush, neutralizing my victory flag. In the process, he has lost more men, and scored fewer points, with the Americans than anyone I have ever seen in this scenario ("Hitdorf on the Rhine"). Sod the silly bugger.

Speedbump is running away, except for a couple of squads sneaking along my flank in an apparent attempt to circle behind and take Victory locations I have already seized. UNfortunately, my Eagle-eyed Commonwealth forces spotted them and are even now perforating their puny bodies. 'Es alread been sodded.

Lawyer is blowing up things on my side, and I am killing men on his. I used bunkers, so he used artillery. I used machine guns, so he has decided to use a Jabo. Sod the gamey bastiche.

Joe Shaw just drove his Kubelwagon through a large calibre artillery barrage. He's also parked most of his men in buildings being hit by said artillery barrage. E's a sodding silly bastiche.

Goanna is having problems. Apparently, his men believe that just aiming the 'schreck at my Wasps will be effective. He tried to run an HQ unit up to them to explain the problem, but for some reason my paratroops wouldn't let them pass. Go figure. E's a silly bugger not worth sodding.

dalem wanted a setup this morning, but I am off to see one of the last great college football rivalries, so he will have ot sod 'imself.

The rest of you sod off.

[ 10-06-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Another Saturday workday and the Phillies have been eliminated for playoff hopes. There is no justice. I blame the Peng thread.

[Lawyer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Also, I accept every abuse or jest that anyone would care to make over my own faith

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If you mean your faith in Slappy the Git, I'm pleased to oblige by offering you, Dear Naive Seanachai, an exclusive deal on my favorite book "Legal Ethics Are More Important than Money". I like it so much that I keep it in its original shrink-wrap so it will be clean in the event I ever care about ethics.

And Elvis has a nice used car to sell you. Only been used by Peng a few times. Oh the back seat is a little stained from those high school girlfriends, but what the hey??

And I'm sure Mace will sell you his "work" desk that's never been used at all. MrSpkr has a large mouth that's been used a leeeetle too much, but it still beats the crapola that your street urchin pal, Sloopyfaggy, spews forth.

Iskander has a terrific and very large collection of booze bottles with broken seals that he swears have not been re-filled. I don't believe him, but I know you will.

Dalem will sell you his never-used copy of "Ten Things to Do in Minnesota if You're Not Drunk Like the Rest of Us". CM Player has the Swedish version of that book, which is the same except that it costs 20 times more.

Stuka will sell you his memoirs featuring the chapters on "Young Girls I Have Met and Not Touched" and "Stupid Bike Tricks". Pawbroon will sell you his "English Grammer and Syntax Made Easy" book. Mensch will sell you his brain, as soon as he retrieves it from the bottle in the Smithsonian.

Berli will sell you SlappyFace's "The Soul of Wit", if either of them ever happen to appear in one of his posts.

And of course, we cannot and MUST not forget that Blow Joe will gladly sell you a share in his poisonous gas field. Or perhaps his never-used copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Oh, I forgot, Germanboy bought that from him last year, and has been studying it ruthlessly ever since then in that special way that only Germans can be ruthless.

Frankly, Seanachai, I'm surprised that you haven't yet dragged in that budding intellect Amazing_Void from the main board. Mind you, I'm glad that you haven't done it, but still surprised.

BTW, don't you owe me a game setup?

[Lawyer]

While we are all in a happy Saturday mood, I just wanted to point out to our Pool colleagues in Chicago that one of your local colleagues wants to have a get-together.

I saw that Captain Wacky wants to come. And Jason Cawley is interested. **smirk** Why haven't you lads spoken up on that thread? You wouldn't want to miss it, would you?

Now if you can wait till December 8 or 9, I expect to be bringing the ORIGINAL Lawyer's Free Beer Challenge to Chicago. And I will buy a FREE BEER for any of you Poolers who simply says, "Jake, you are the best CM player I have ever met." So start practicing the magic words. This offer is void for anyone who vomits while speaking them.

Till then, say "hi" to Captain Wacky and JasonC for me.

Buwhahahaha....

Only the Lawyer knows what Evil lurks in the minds of men...

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

At least with Elvis and Peng, you don't have to lie to get a free beer.

Edited because its Saturday and I'm working and my Phillies won't be in the post season.

Edited again because the tears made my fingers slip on the keyboard. Bowa, why? What happened?

[ 10-06-2001: Message edited by: Hiram's Ghost ]

[ 10-06-2001: Message edited by: Hiram's Ghost ]

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

PS You set yourself up for this one, didn't you?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Set myself up for what? I'm not a Brit and I don't even like cricket. Now answer me this:

How many cricketers does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Mark IV]

There.

I have now caught up on 11+ pages, counting the end of the last MBT and the utter waste of phosphor that is this one. I am touched at the many expressions of concern and loss (which amounted to a solitary mention/challengey sort of thing by Panzer Leader. Sigh.). I assure you that my reticence is due solely to my utter contempt for you all, and any other gathering that would tolerate a Snapdragon for a centerpiece.

The time of the Great Disruption is upon us. I have been commuting (some gamey RL recon) 300 miles to and fro all week, and will be packing this weekend, moving Monday, painting and spending money the rest of the week and then some, and drinking throughout. The new Schloss IV, the IV-tress of Doom to most of you, is prepared for my triumphant procession to my new realm, South Kali-IV-nia.

Some turns may go out. Some mayn't. Please panic and mewl piteously if you don't get yours; it will not help, but I like the sounds you make. It will be a few weeks before I am too broke to do anything other than play Combat Mission.

Those who may have had addresses and other contact info should destroy it and yourselves as well. Info will be updated when appropriate.

(Not edited purposely to un-gild Germanboy's lily despite the UBB tour de force evident here.)

[Mark IV]

Interestingly, I have just received an e-mailed confession from my ISP (Earthstink, who usurped the late-lamented Mindspring)) that they "made a mistake" and that many of us have not received a bunch of e-mail. This was followed by a bunch of antique turns, which the more enterprising among you had the sense to re-send long ago.

I would apologize for flying off the handle and posting all your addies to the Jehovah's Witness site, but a good PBEM opponent would have sent the turns on diskettes, so to hell with you anyway.

I don't plan to change ISPs immediately, but one of the bennies of moving back to civilization is the availability of DSL... hmmm.

[OGSF]

Waill slippery haggis lumps ontae all o' ye! At's Sat'day, an' Ah'm aboot tae wander awah aintae tha heelands o' Denver tae bang awah at jam tins wi' mah verry ain M1 Garand an' mah brand noo (tae mae) 9mm Walther P38 (1943).

Ah'll sae yoo Jimmy whain Ah rrreturrn fraim mah adventure an' havin' mah wounds bandaged.

Stankin' festerin' snot gobblin' bastaarrrds wun an' all o ye. 'Ceptin' tha wee an' bonnie lass, YK2 o' course.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[CMplayer]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

one of the bennies of moving back to civilization is the availability of DSL... hmmm.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You call Orange County civilization?

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Interestingly, I have just received an e-mailed confession from my ISP (Earthstink, who usurped the late-lamented Mindspring)) that they "made a mistake" and that many of us have not received a b<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This has just happened to me. My poor long lost Mindspring account.

[Joe Shaw]

{Sigh} another wake up, another load of ****e to wade through. And worst of all another DEPOSIT from Stuka desperately trying to explain the unexplainable: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You knew I had played that one before and had trouced that evil Scotsgit MacOGSF, while playing as the defending Germans. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hmmm, and did HE play the scenario before I wonder? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Honourably, Honourably I say, I offered for yourself to play as the germans, as you looked so desperately in need of a win and I, after a

flurry of recent victories, was looking for a challenge.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>A challenge was it? Someone worthy of your steel I imagine? Of course it's always possible to find someone MORE than worthy of your steel if you get my drift. If it was a REAL challenge you wanted you could have picked a scenario that NEITHER player knew but that might have proved too MUCH a challenge I suppose. Yes, I agree to continue, I sensed the sad, desperate need in you for a win against a competent opponent (obviously OGSF doesn't fit THAT category) and agreed. But your desperate explanations have raised my ire sir, and I will NOT be pilloried by the likes of YOU! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hows about the one that Squirmenboy was beating his sunken little chest about?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>{Gag} Are you serious? A scenario by Germanboy? Oh wait ... wasn't that the one that one of the lads wrote chapter and verse on? Ah yes ... well that WOULD be your choice wouldn't it? No lad, I'll accomodate you with another game, but it will have to be a miserable QB I'm afraid ... unless one of the lads might have something, TOURNAMENT SAVED, that would meet the need? Nothing too large, mind, the thought of playing Stuka for an extended period of time is just TOO depressing. Oh and I reserve the right to reject the offerings of anyone ... the Justicar has MANY enemies and you can't be too careful.

Luckily Seanachai came along and provided, if not a lift to the spirits, at least a numbing of the spirits ... it wasn't bad enough I suppose that Berli and MrSpkr went on .. and ON ... AND ON at the start of this thread, now we have The Bard with Middle English. But prior to that: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So, you haven't gotten your way, nor been acknowledged the way you feel you should be? ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well said Seanachai ... that, I think, speaks as well for the group as a whole. As to the rest, the sig line is still screwed up on MY monitor at least and obivously that's the most important one ... fix or do somefink. Oh ... post one of MY many clever lines as your sig ... there, another problem solved.

And then my partner in crime, MrSpkr with whom I'm forming a NEW SCENARIO DEPOT called Ker Dessel (featuring CM scenarios with A DIFFERENCE ... they're not much good IOW), took me to task: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw just drove his Kubelwagon through a large calibre artillery barrage. He's also parked most of his men in buildings being hit by said artillery barrage. E's a sodding silly bastiche.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Bah! As if I care about a silly little German jeep. And let's not be preening too much about the fall of arty in THIS game ... it's pretty much tossing pennies blindfolded now isn't it?

And, of course, we have the daily contribution of Lawyer: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And of course, we cannot and MUST not forget that Blow Joe will gladly sell you a share in his poisonous gas field. Or perhaps his ever-used

copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now THAT hurts, Lawyer that really does. I would have thought that as a Government lawyer you'd understand that public servants must sometimes do those things that are unpopular but that are necessary to protect the public ... or in YOUR case necessary to line your pockets.

I work my fingers to the bone and THIS is the thanks I get.

Joe