Welcome to Peng Challengeville!

[Lorak]

Nice to see the cesspool love is still going strong.

News

I'll be back home today, I sent my turns out through work and was wondering if everyone recieved them or not. I know Goanna and Iskander got thiers.

If you are missing a turn from me please drop me a line, and I'll be sure to resend tonight.

Lorak

[David Aitken]

Ellros has done the decent thing and saved his few remaining menschen from certain death. His surrender leaves the score at 79-21.

Lorak, recordez vouz s'il vous plait:

Ellros: used up Germany's entire stock of 75mm and 81mm shells to little effect.

Aitken: surrounded and annihilated whatever it was Ellros bought besides artillery.

And while you're at it, you still haven't fixed the unpardonable oversight which sees myself credited with 3 wins and 2 losses. So far I indeed have 3 wins (Babra, Elvis, Ellros), but I only have one loss (Leeo). This excludes my suspended best-of-three with Meeks. So, if you would be so kind, my record should now read 4/1/0, taking this (second) game with Ellros into account.

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Ellros has done the decent thing and saved his few remaining menschen from certain death. His surrender leaves the score at 79-21.

img deleated

Lorak, recordez vouz s'il vous plait:

Ellros: used up Germany's entire stock of 75mm and 81mm shells to little effect.

Aitken: surrounded and annihilated whatever it was Ellros bought besides artillery.

And while you're at it, you still haven't fixed the unpardonable oversight which sees myself credited with 3 wins and 2 losses. So far I indeed have 3 wins (Babra, Elvis, Ellros), but I only have one loss (Leeo). This excludes my suspended best-of-three with Meeks. So, if you would be so kind, my record should now read 4/1/0, taking this (second) game with Ellros into account.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It has been noted and recorded.

Lorak the loathed

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

I'll be back home today<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, the parole was granted? We are all very happy for you!

Mace (yes, there is a lot of love in this pool)

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Here, if his skull is to go next to mine, and below Bauhaus's, that would seem to indicate that, when you finally acquire my skull (you cannot think that having beaten me in one out of four games entitles you to it yet), it will be hung below Bauhaus's. Bloody cheek! I demand that, should you acquire my skull, it be hung above Bauhaus's (and in a well lit, climate controlled environment so I can see what the little sod is up to; he refuses to fight me in other than 'impaired visibility' conditions). Where the hell is Moriarity's skull in all this? And why isn't he returning my turns? If he needs his skull to process them, return it to him at once, sir, so that my men can stop shivering out there in the snow!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wouldn't you have to beat me first to deserve having your head hung above mine. Until then, to the back of the line!

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Joe, I must inquire.

Are you a necrophyliac?

Mace<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Tut tut,Macey grey, people in glass houses should not throw stones.

Who are you to judge with your history of...ummm....'persuasions'?

[jd]

My dear mildchild It was with a great deal of wheezin and clacking that my rheumny and tired eyes beheld your challenge as I masticated a bowl of porridge, my frail and weakend body rack by paroxyms of convulsive sputum and pheglm, I considered the wondrousness of it all that you would seek an ongoing engagement with me. My dear child, you think that posturing about your deflowering of various denizens of this fair realm carry weight or even interest? Hardly. You want a piece of me? YOU want a piece of ME?! You can't handle a piece of me! (down my lovilies and you know who you are).

But then, thinks I you do show gumption at seeking redress of perceived faults and flaws I may have and mind you a certain, passionate side that may yet slake my thirst, so yes, a set up maybe sent. We shall see that you are reminded of how to treat your betters, and shown your true place in the world of the pool. Suffice to say that it should provide midly diverting to allow you to genuflect and kiss my ring. Now go, prepare yourself, as we are done here. You are dismissed child.

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[Lorak]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

Oh, the parole was granted? We are all very happy for you!

Mace (yes, there is a lot of love in this pool)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL Mace!

Yes once back home I will be able to re-install Rogue Spear and show you that "love" up close and personal on-line. Yes... I am looking forward to it.

Lorak the loathed

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Are you a pyromaniac?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not at all, at all, my lower hemispherian friend. Allow me to elucidate:

1) If you'll recall, my "treatment" of my nether regions was undertaken in response to your suggestion that your incarnation as an Arse Tick might somehow have some relation to MY butt. I took that measure in order to ensure that even the THOUGHT of you (in any of your forms, insect or otherwise) anywhere NEAR my butt was negated with EXTREME PREJUDICE! I still shudder at that thought.

2) I certainly did not attempt to set anyone afire ... other than myself. I merely applauded (as did you) the THOUGHT of Speedbump doing that ... particularly to whatshisname.

Joe

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Tut tut,Macey grey, people in glass houses should not throw stones.

Who are you to judge with your history of...ummm....'persuasions'?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I’m pleased that you’ve kindly spared some of you valuable time to make a contribution regarding my comment, time that could have been spent playing with your ‘thingey’, manipulating you ‘thingey’, or generally just slapping your ‘thingey’ about (which would I be correct in assuming would be a frequent pastime of yours?)

But please allow me to make just a small correction to your comment, that’s ‘perversions’, not ‘persuasions’.

Mace

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

LOL Mace!

Yes once back home I will be able to re-install Rogue Spear and show you that "love" up close and personal on-line. Yes... I am looking forward to it.

Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Here, wasn't Croda just redeemed from this sort of FPS lunacy? Lorak, you must resist the urge to go trolloping about with these sorts of games. Oh, some RPG now and again, perhaps some TB Strategy, but online FPSs and such are the work of the devil, and, as everybody knows, lead to nervous tics, angry letters to the editor, and school shootings. Do you really want to encourage those sorts of things?

And speaking of Croda, he constitutes one third of my 'missing in action' threesome. That is, Croda, Meeks, and OGSF. Meeks sends his jolly, inbred cousin in here to explain his absence and that he is 'under too many demands from the Real World™'. OGSF posted something somewhere around here to the same effect, and Croda actually personally informed me that he had left Combat Mission because he was 'in love', and whoring around with some game called Tribes 2. He also made vague references to a wife and children, work, and, possibly, a neglected family pet.

Now, all well and good, and I have myself sometimes absented myself due to the cruel demands of that nightmare called 'the Real World'. But lads, and I'm sorry to tell you this, here at the Peng Challenge Thread we've received numerous emails from your individual 'Real Worlds', and they want a sodding rest from the three of you. Piteous complaints from wives, children, girlfriends, and family pets (Mensch gets these. Something about his dementia allows him to interpret animal thought impulses, probably because he himself is an impulsive animal) all begging the members of the Peng Challenge Thread to get your attention and take it away from your long-suffering loved ones. Your bosses have also written us, appalled that your recent devotion to and concentration on work has brought overall productivity to new lows, and that co-workers are leaving in alarming numbers.

In short, gentlemen, the Real World™ does not want you. Neither do we, but we are a band of brothers, and native to this nightsoil, as it were. For the good of the many, we ask you to return to us.

[David Aitken]

BTS's aircraft/antiaircraft model is hugely biased towards the Americans, and I have conclusive proof!

Abbott's USAF plane has wiped out half of my units in our current game. This is proof enough in itself.

I set up a test scenario with two German quad 20mm flak trucks against an RAF plane. The plane fired two salvoes of rockets at one of the trucks (which, I might point out, have tin-foil armour), and did no damage whatsoever. The plane then buggered off for tea and scones back in Blighty.

Then I tried two British Bofors 40mm guns against a Luftwaffe plane. The plane bombed one of the guns and strafed the other, and between these two attacks, the guns fired back not once.

Then I tried two US Sherman tanks against a Luftwaffe plane. First pass, the Shermans only so much as look at it, and it blows up.

This is too much! I am returning my copy of CM and demanding a refund.

[imported_Wildman]

A yes, the testosterone level of the Pool seems higher that ever. Of course that is just the Viagra screaming through jd's arteries in a vain attempt to bolter his own ego.

I see and accept my well deserved accolades and graciously don my kniggetly helmet in order to do battle.

StevetheRat has received the Blood Hamster setup provided by the denizen of hell we call Berli. Who must have been watching Robot Wars when designing this scenario. A city of big buildings surrounded by marsh with four bridges, each at the compass point where I start with two and Stevie starts with two. Only a sick, twisted, evil, coniving mind would ever develop a horror like this.

Aqua Velva has been sent the setup that will deliver his pathetic hide for my convinence. I will tan it and stuff it under the door to keep out drafts.

Speedy has lost all AT assets and now has to come to the flag into the full teeth of my defences. A surrender would be easier on your troops, Gamey Bastard.

Marlow wanted and received a rematch. He must really like beatings, cause that is where this one is headed. We are playing a RUNE nightmare called Foothills. I'm sure to win as that limp wristed fairy Marlow will be distracted from the game being forced to sing "The hHills are Alive with the Sound of Music" at the very sight of the terrain.

Croda, I despise more and more each passing day. I've got him on the run and I'm happily killing him and he decides he's burned out. No wonder, if all his games feature this kind of penetrating armor movement, I would give up too.

One non-pool note, I'm engaged in a duel with The_Capt. He diatribes are humorous and I want to kill him and take Lt. PIPPU for my own amusement. Perchance this will be my perfect game. "Today we are Gods."

As for the rest of you pathetic, sorry Canadian, french, or East Costers, SOD OFF!

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Wildman ]

[David Aitken]

Good heavens, I forgot to say:

The first two times I ran the Shermans vs. Luftwaffe scenario, the plane didn't show up at all in half an hour!! Aaaa!!!

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

Watch it pally. You could get banned for that kind of language here. Unless of course you meant to say 'ook, ook, ook!' perchance?

In that case, thanks for noticing, no I bloody well won't and I would think that they normally have a kind of blueish tint unless you chose the ones of Omnian manufacture.

Regards,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, Geier my little carrion crow (I know the actual translation, lad; poetic license, Geier, poetic license). I enjoy your references, lad, I really do. Of course, I hope for a rematch some day, and hope even more that I pound your ears far enough down to be mistaken for epaulets. And, because I see this sort of thing done constantly here in the Peng Challenge Thread, a quote in honour of you, you crazed squarehead loon.

"What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head."

Maskerade

-Terry Pratchett

I feel safe in saying that Madmatt never needs a hat, given his puntuation use.

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Lorak]

Ahh but Seanachai,

There are several diffrences between me and those others...

1) CM is my lifes blood. I could never forsake it, or replace it.

D) FPS's really calm me down after a bad day at work. Nothing like running around killing your friends.

VII) Croda realized that he would never be able to handle the team aspect of tribes 2 and has given up the game.

&) 1 4m L337! 1 w1LL K1ck y0ur 4553'5!

I have skillz baby...skillz! W00T W00T

Lorak the loathed

[Speedbump]

Being new to the Pool, I have taken it slowly (down Bauhaus!); intending on wading slowly into the muck. However, I have been accused of treating the Holy Mother Thread as a game-of-the-week club. I am ever so embarisked…But I recognize the need to do more than dip a toe into the Cess; as such, all take heed:

Mr. Shaw, please accept your loyal Squire’s request for a rematch on the field of honor. A match in which you have less than a full squadron of Fighter-Bombers. I was thinking of a fine little jaunt on brisk Fall afternoon. Should this sound appealing please let me know.

Mace After reading your semi-literate posts, I find myself struggling to maintain consciousness. You write as if you are typing with only one hand, the other slowly stroking the curly haired companion of yours. The only way in which I may gain a modicum or respect for you is if you accept this challenge.

Mace, you steal food from the cat’s dish, you careless, mildew devouring, ‘roo abusing, chemically-based cub of a diseased monkey.

Speedbump

Pop Quiz for the Pool: Is Mace’s “curly haired companion” a:

a) A four legged, domesticated, ruminant mammal with a single word vocabulary: “Baaa”

His overly-hirstute, male organ of copulation

c) His menopausal, female associate with a horrific attempt at a perm

d) Other, please share with the group

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

PushBroom... you have the unmitigated gall to deny my fearless feldgraus the pride of the German tank fleet : the invincible PzIIL.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He is nothing, if not an unmitigated Gaul.

Mr. Shandorf: Anyone who could possibly look at my picture, framed as it is by Peng, Shaw, & (shudder) Foobar, and conclude that I am dressed funny, clearly has tri-tip for brains.

Being goofy-looking, I normally wear rather nice suits to compensate. This intimidates the programmer-lice that I am forced to deal with, as they assume I'm a lawyer, and are even more frightened of me than other human contacts.

The fish in the picture, upon whom you can only gaze in genetic envy, was slimy. I believe you are familiar with the condition. So were the other thousand or so other fish I caught that day. That's why I didn't dress up for the photo, that, and because I despise you, and feared that someday your yellowed corneas might attempt to focus on it.

Thanks for your concern. And, please watch who follows you in here in the future, you guttersnipe. We're trying to run a Cesspool here.

[Guest Babra]

My computer 'sploded.

Blew up my mother board yesterday. I have a new one installed, but all is not yet well. I can't seem to get my sound and video drivers sorted out, so I'm running in 16 colour VGA. That means no Combat Mission for me...

Also, I can receive email, but I can't seem to send as yet. I don't know if this is software related at my end, or friggin cable server related (piece of crap that it is).

In other words, my opponents should stand by. I might be down for a week or so.

[Phillies Phan]

In keeping with Survivor's Finale:

A Letter to the Cesspool

Dear Cesspool inhabitants,

Please don't vote me out of the cesspool. I've contributed much in the last 9 months. We all know what can grow in 9 months. I've sounded off often and have been berated for it. I apologized too, and was verbally castigated for those mistakes. My time spent in here splashing amongst you has been fun (for me).

I remember when I first tentavely placed a toe in the pool and Seanachai welcomed me while Berlichten readied his flamethrower. He and Professor Doctor Hamster X were ready to filet me. Only my "squatters" rights helped me during those times. JDMorse and Moriarty have become my uncles and Elvis has become my hero. As I grow and shave my back, I strive to become more like MRPeng. I also disdain smileys and suffer from the affliction of flatulence and verbosity. I wish I could play all of you in PBEM's but its not possible or probable.

In closing, I ask that you remember me when you do your Cesspool council and that you ask yourselves "What would Scooby do?"

[David Aitken]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Babra wrote:

My computer 'sploded.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Anything in your life that hasn't 'sploded?

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

My 'missing in action' threesome. That is, Croda, Meeks, and OGSF.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Loathe as I am to agree with you on any point, your bombasticness. I must concur with the lack of action eminating from the recess' {down.....}, of both Meeks and OGSF.

As I have 3 games going with OGSF and 1 with Meeks, I find a substantial opening {don't make me repeat myself....}, in my dance card.

I seem to recall sometime in the recent future past that you called some sort of a blood hamster on all Antipodeons. I call you out for the kind of slapping that PeterNZ, often received from his step mother.

Bauhaus' skull has been neatly mounted on the mantlepiece above my fire and I have a small 'reserved' sign in the space adjacent.

Should you choose to die eloquently and by the numbers, I may even relocate one of my skydiving trophies from the space above, in which to present your gleaming bonce.

I could go on and on but that is not my way.

In short, the finger points at you!

The spotlight is on and the fans are staring.

Now watcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when Stukey comes for you?

[Guest Babra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Anything in your life that hasn't 'sploded?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Not recently no. Well, video is back up so games can continue. Email seems to be working too. Still working on the sound. CM no fun without sound

Later, creeps.

[Lawyer]

Another depressing day in the Cesspool

To wit, I was exposed to the following pornography this day:

Agua Perdido lives somewhere on the East Coast, so therefore I must use those obnoxious toilet seat covers wherever I go.

Mace continues to live and post on the forum, no matter what humiliation he suffers.

Seanachai did not actually choke on his own vomit when performing his famous Mama Cass impersonation.

Joe Shaw is apparently still alive, or what passes for it in his neck of the world.

Peng and PawBroon have become bosom buddies, due in part to my recognition that PawBroon is the nom de plume of the Duke posting away for CM fame.

Mark IV is not actually the fish in the picture, but is rather the geek standing next to him pretending to be Al Jardine's stunt double in Beach Boy movies.

Wildman is a knigget. (For shame, Lorak!)

Stuka's ISP has not cut him off, but his wife apparently has. Shame on both counts.

Speedbump still comes here and armornut doesn't go away.

Lorak still happily serves as the graves registration detail for this Band of Potter's Field Brothers.

Forgive them, MadMatt, for they know not what they do....

[armornut]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

Mace After reading your semi-literate posts, I find myself struggling to maintain consciousness. You write as if you are typing with only one hand, the other slowly stroking the curly haired companion of yours. The only way in which I may gain a modicum or respect for you is if you accept this challenge.

Mace, you steal food from the cat’s dish, you careless, mildew devouring, ‘roo abusing, chemically-based cub of a diseased monkey.

Speedbump

Pop Quiz for the Pool: Is Mace’s “curly haired companion” a:

a) A four legged, domesticated, ruminant mammal with a single word vocabulary: “Baaa”

His overly-hirstute, male organ of copulation

c) His menopausal, female associate with a horrific attempt at a perm

d) Other, please share with the group

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

d) His large and pist-off squire you dolt! I belive that if you would like to fight my honorable and great knight Mace, it is his call if he does or not.

But, if I were to have it my way, he would allow me to destroy you on the feild of battle. I would enjoy using your braincase as a jellybean holder after I hollow out your skull and mount it (geez Bauhaus!) upon my desk. If you dare, send a turn to me you sackless wonder.

Oh, and don't try a reply, as everyones's time would be better spent if you just sent me a turn, you butt-sniffing, dung-chowing, flea-bitten, pud-wacking, git!

[ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: armornut ]