Steven Seagal Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 What the hell is 'peng', 'peng challenge', etc.? I tried to read a thread and it made my brain hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offtaskagain Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Peng is MrPeng. He is a babbling moron from somewhere out East that likes to spout gibberish and once challenged someone to a PBEM. It's basically an officially sanctioned place to taunt and mock others into getting a PBEM. It has it's own rather perverse social structure that I find rather amusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Dear Mr Seagal, I have always enjoyed your films thoroughly save for those I didn't. The Peng Challenge Thread aka the Mutha Beautiful Thread is a bit like Fight Club only in a completely different way. Most, if not all, of the posters are Meeks. Mind you, Meeks is no Tyler Durden. So, and bear with me please, a Peng might be a Meeks eventhough the factual notion of what's a Meeks is still open to debate in the Forum aka the Outer Board (aren't you paying attention?!) and might or might be not corrected in a possible 1.13 patch. As a side note and as mentioned in any good Guide, the Pool is the only place where there had been some heavy women spotting because being rude to others is good fellow womanship. Speaking of women. Some of the men in here are women. Most of those women are Meeks which explains a lot really. Seanachai might be me (ie PawBroon {Are you retarded?!}) while I have been accused of being Meeks. Just to be certain you understood it all, I am not a woman... [Edited because I'm worth it!] [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von Lucke Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Slide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slapdragon Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Dear Mr Seagal, I have always enjoyed your films thoroughly save for those I didn't. The Peng Challenge Thread aka the Mutha Beautiful Thread is a bit like Fight Club only in a completely different way. Most, if not all, of the posters are Meeks. Mind you, Meeks is no Tyler Durden. So, and bear with me please, a Peng might be a Meeks eventhough the factual notion of what's a Meeks is still open to debate in the Forum aka the Outer Board (aren't you paying attention?!) and might or might be not corrected in a possible 1.13 patch. As a side note and as mentioned in any good Guide, the Pool is the only place where there had been some heavy women spotting because being rude to others is good fellow womanship. Speaking of women. Some of the men in here are women. Most of those women are Meeks which explains a lot really. Seanachai might be me (ie PawBroon {Are you retarded?!}) while I have been accused of being Meeks. Just to be certain you understood it all, I am not a woman... [Edited because I'm worth it!] [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: PawBroon ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Pawboony, you always write the greatest stuff. I wish I could speak French so I could understand it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PawBroon Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: I wish I could speak French so I could understand it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Err, tell me you Floating Afghan, can't you tell it was written in English? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Most, if not all, of the posters are Meeks. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mr. Pawbroon, May I call you Broonie, I don't think you are Meeks (AKA Penguin Scat). Rather, I think you are Mensch after he drinks too much Bordeaux. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Oh, and to answer the original question, try this: All you ever wanted to know about Peng, but were afraid to ask Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Peng is, and sometimes isn't, though on alternate Thursdays Peng can be found on the head of a pin (except for months that end in an 'r', in which case Peng is in the eye of the needle). Peng is a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, participle, and banana cream pie. Sometimes you can see a glimmer of Peng in the wee hours of the morning before first light, but other times Peng is that little infectious bit stuck under your large toenail. There have been probes sent to study Peng, but contact was always lost as they approached the Pengvent horizon. There is a small car built in Outer-Mongolia named Peng that runs on alcohol, but it only gets about 1.5 drunken ramblings per liter. Peng is so complicated that even the simple Peng cannot comprehend it, for Peng is the power (what?) and the glory (really?) forever and ever, Amen. All clear now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMplayer Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 'Peng' is a Swedish word that means 'coin'. That's all there is to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 One thing is definitely for sure: Peng is greater than the sum of its parts. AlsoPeng can best be observed out at sea at dawn. He is the green flash that strikes an instant before the sun rises above the wavetops. Pengcan be heard somethimes while a campsite is attacked by bears. It is a keening wail, or perhaps a drunken slur. Peng can be sometimes smelled the instant nerve gas enters your lungs. Some say it is fresh mown grass, others say it is the distinctive beer-sweat of Peng. Of course, I don't know how anyone says anything, since they just sniffed nerve gas. Peng can be felt clutching at that third clasp on your high-school girlfriend's wonder-bra. He never let go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
**YK2** Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Just to be certain you understood it all, I am not a woman.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'll vouch for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted August 31, 2001 Share Posted August 31, 2001 Yes, please, someone define Peng before MrSegal goes nuts. I've seen what he does to people with his bare hands when he is only a little pissed off and it ain't pretty. Hate to see what happens when he goes nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Saunders Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Steven Seagal: What the hell is 'peng', 'peng challenge', etc.? I tried to read a thread and it made my brain hurt.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Reading the above explanations, has made my brain hurt, also! :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Yes, he can snap limbs like fragile twigs. Also he doesn't like Jamaicans. I remember him snapping the limbs of many Jamaicans in that one movie...Hmmmmm. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diceman Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Ping is one Bryant Belknap, one of the forum originals, whom I had all lined up to trounce in a multiplayer game, but he came up with some laaame excuse... What was it pneumonia? Huh, I never let pneumonia stop me! Went to work everyday, didn't stop me for a second. O.K. so I ended up with shingles, was put on steriods, and the stuff screwed up my kidneys, but I never let it stop me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heckler_rider Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Why do some peng threads get locked by MADMATT, while other drone on and on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 I'll field ha one for you olebooya. All Peng threads let locked at some point. Otherwise they would take up too much space and piss off the normal peopl that visit this forum. When it comes time to start a new thread one is supposed to email Matt with the new thread name and receive his blesing. If others crop up before the official new home is created they must be shut down quickly lest sewage leaks out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heckler_rider Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Hey Elvis Tanks alot........ Hey thats what the Russians said at Kursk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Elvis neglects to mention that not just ANYBODY can start a new Peng thread. If you don't know the secret handshake and password (and the password is encoded so you need the Official CessPool Enigma Decoder Ring) you're out of luck. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Peng and his threads attract flies and those nasty mosquitoes that bite your private parts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 If this is the real Steven Seagal, it's unlikely that you would understand any explanation that we could offer, but on the chance that your choice of screen name is ironical, I will make an attempt. While Pawbroon's explanation is the most correct, and Sancho's is funnier than many of his posts (you should apply yourself more, Sancho. You do better in the abstract than in direct taunting), my explanation will be the most historical, and, finally, the most long-winded, which is also historically accurate. Historical accuracy is of prime significance on this Board, after all. History of the Peng Challenge Thread, Part I: Origins, Schism, and the Meeks Interregnum The Peng Challenge Thread originated in the early days immediately after the dawn of recorded history (that is, around the time of the Gold Demo, which is equivalent to the Bronze Age of Combat Mission), when a certain individual, that being myself, Seanachai, chose to challenge another individual, Mr. Peng, to a PBEM. It is wrong to maintain that Peng proffered the challenge. Peng, in fact, inspired the challenge. The original Thread, which went to something like 3,000 posts before collapsing into a black hole, was titled "Peng, I Take Our Challenge Public". It can still be visited by the adventurous who find the lost ways, I believe, but further attempts to post to it are impossible. Because many of the members of the Combat Mission forums are as keen on spectacle and as filled with bloodlust as your ancient Roman plebe, it quickly drew the attention of a large and boisterous crowd of the cognescenti (affectionately called 'halfwits' by most), all chanting for blood, offering odds, and chundering out their own taunts and insults, first to the participants, and then, more generally, to each other. Many remained to become Seniour Knights of the Cesspool, a name affectionately bestowed on the place by a long lost teenage landsmann named 'Minnesota Joe', who entered one day, and unceremoniously declared the place to be 'A Cesspool'. He then departed, and no one knows to this day if he still lives. After the rather spectacular death of the first Peng Challenge Thread (people used to show up from other boards just to see if it was true that BTS had let a UBB thread go to that length. BTS, like the scientists who created the Atomic Bomb, not knowing if it's detonation might result in a chain reaction that would annihilate the planet's atmosphere, were apparently keen to see what would happen), there was a flurry as various members started up 'new' Peng Challenge Threads to fill the awful, rending void that the demise of the original had left in the fabric of the Universe, and the hearts of its followers. Also, I understand, there was a certain amount of genteel looting, burning, and pillaging (but not that other thing; a gentleman always asks, and if told 'no' he desists with a murmured apology) as various followers of the Peng Challenge Way took this as a general signal for the End of Civilization As We Know It, and surged out into the night to get in a bit of fun before order could be restored. This led to the first Peng Challenge Thread schism, in which two competing threads were started, and followers hewed to one or the other, and spat insults and invective at the apostates in the other thread. No different, really from what they did to each other within the threads, but from different locations, and it made for a rather nice Holy War effect. The advocates of Orthodoxy, including most of the Seniour Knights, posted to the thread again started by yours truly, entitled "Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public", while some younger Knights and a bunch of heretical 'extras' that wandered in to round out the crowd scenes posted in the evil thread, started by the Arch-Heretic Elijah Meeks, who's Southern US origins and biblical moniker made him the perfect villain for any schism, aided by the fact that he was 'as crazy as a tree full of rats". Eventually, although Crusades were launched, heretics were burned, innocent bystanders were pelted with filth and spittle, the entire matter was decided by BTS (Steve, I believe) who gave the nod of the One True Apostolic Thread to the one begun by Seanachai, and clamped the Inquisitorial padlock of Heresy on the one begun by Elijah Meeks. Meeks, mouthing curses, promising vengeance, and sputtering a bit, then fled to some kind of 'Adventure Vacation/Research Mission' to the arctic circle, where he spent months reading Finnish copies of 'Playboy', longing for Asian women, and grooming a lack-witted California cousin for release on to the Thread as the first step in his revenge. Now, mind, schism is a painful experience for any faith, and while Meeks's apostasy was grievous, his dedication to the Peng Challenge Thread was profound. A solution was attempted. Meeks, who refused to post in the new, One True Revealed Thread until a trial by combat between himself and Seanachai should absolve him, or force him to make obeisance and admit his error, was persuaded to return to the Thread by the offer of a position commensurate with his abilities: he was offered the post of Inquisitor General of the Peng Challenge Thread. Yes, in a brilliant move, seemingly, the originator of schism was set to sniff out heretics. This offer was made more appealing by the fact that the scenario designed for the 'Trial by Combat' was a nasty piece of work intended to humiliate both participants (another Cesspool tradition was born). While brilliant, the results were mixed. Meeks, though undeniably efficient, brutal, and single-minded in a way that would have brought a rush of joy and a happy dance step to the walk of Torquemada himself, was aggressive to the point of psychosis in his drive to make the Peng Challenge Thread all that it should be. First there were murmurs, then voices raised, and then shouts of anger. Meeks responded as only the truly zealous can, by ever harsher and more vicious treatment of the protesters, or 'protestants', as they called themselves. Finally, after 99 newbies were nailed to the doors of the Peng Challenge Thread, Meeks stepped down from his seat of power. He fled into the wilderness, and sightings of him since have been sporadic, at best. Some say he is gone, never to return. Some claim that he waits without, brooding, and will return to the Peng Challenge Thread whenever it is threatened, rabid in his defense and smiting the unbelievers hip and thigh, bringing red ruin down upon them and all detractors of the Holy Mutha Beautiful Thread. Some say he was never a 'real' person, but a creation of the Old Ones. Who knows? The Old Ones know. Go and ask of them about Meeks. Mind, the response'll be 'here, you little sod, bugger off, make yourself useful, get me another beer, now go stand over there with the other lackwitted supplicants and truth seekers, Lor' where do these little pillocks come from, anyways? Another one wanting the 'Truth' about Meeks, Lord love and aquatic fowl. Wankers.' [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai because I figure this one will be locked up soon, and I've only begun Part One of this larger history, and rushed checking it over to get in before the lock.] [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Can't remember the last time I had a double post. Is the Board crashing again? [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Username Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 Oh yeah , that reminds me, I have to update the "what Topics you hate" to include topics refering to the much hated MrPeng thread as much as the officially BTS sanctioned lot of PENG-or-ific threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted September 1, 2001 Share Posted September 1, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: and Sancho's is funnier than many of his posts... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh Bard-'O-the-Thread, can you not realize that Sancho's post was merely a pale imitation of my own? You indeed are one of the Elders, and it is becoming patently obvious that you need new bi-focals. Hate you lots! G'bye now. (message edited TWICE due to the Evils of Malt Liquor) [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ] [ 08-31-2001: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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