PeterNZer Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Obsessed with thingies?! Well I have never been accused of that before. Simply because I'm packing more than a stallion at the height of mating season who accidently drank from a puddle of viagra does not make me obsessed with my thingies, I merely accept it and let others become obsessed. Herr Bovine - Although I am loosing, I enjoy killing you men. My brave troopers found the remains of two platoons and slaughtered most of them before a couple of squad remains somehow gained hte ability to move and stagered off to the back of the map. Meanwhile he desperately tries to nab the last flag, I think my SMGs will have something to say about that. Meeks - Yes meeks, you're winning.. yes, yes, I'm loosing, how could I have failed to realise?! I mean, I've only killed 2 of your 3 tanks, (That SP gun ever goign to do anything but hide?), I've wipped out about two platoons and another two of yours are pinned down, and I have had.. what, a few casualties scatered over 3 or 4 squads. Of course you're winning, how did i ever fail to notice! I'll be more careful next time. JD Morse - Bah, I'm been gimped, and I know that's how you like it my sponsor! Soon I'll throw asside your bonds and step out into freedom and away from your vile clutches. A real game might sort you out. As for the rest of you, it's all going in messy interesting ways, games of two sides where someone will win PeterNZ ------------------ "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." George W Bush -Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Bah - Lorak, I have beaten Blousehouse (yet again), although he put up a bit more than the pathetic excuse for a struggle (about as difficult than drowning a sedated kitten) he did last time. My PBI Suffered-A-Lot, and for the first time I had to rely on things with tracks to blast/fry the heck out of his eclectic mix of Gerbiltroopers. Thanks to an AT mortar, a Wasp and some damn good luck on my part, the 5th Wiltshires prevailed yet again over the evil Nazi scum. Well done lads, now for a cup of tea. Now, since Blousy is of the 'KickmewhenImdown' persuasion, and since I feel I owe it to him, can somebody please offer to build a reasonable scenario for us (buy your own, but a nice map would be highly appreciated). Toodles in advance. Oh, for thos of you looking for balanced scenarios, may I recommend Joanna's 'Fertile Ground (LQ)' which became the nadir of Berli's continuing struggle against my superior wisdom, tactics and looks. Jolly good scenario, I beat him 93:7 (just to make sure that everyone knows.) in a fair fight, charaterised as much by my skill as it was by his ineptitude. Alternatively, I have been told that my TF Butler scenario (available on 'Der Kessel') has much to recommend it. Or 'The Foucarville Roadblocks', by Kris Handshin (ibd.) for a nice day out with some paras in France. Goriarty seems confused that I am not willing to rush the VLs in our game. Well, suffice to say that I am not of that kind. I like to take my time tearing your forces apart and making you scream for mercy while watching my lads steamroller your pathetic excuse for a force, a conglomeration of shifty individuals I am sure, who only were armed by mistake, since originally it was intended to have them search for mines by pogosticking down the road ahead of a convoy with valuable troops. Ethan is probably suffering at the hands of my tanks. Good stuff I say, I could do with another win. Lorak is making himself difficult. Stroppy I say, down down. Bad Lorak. Mensch has enjoyed a bit of a ruffle during breakfast at Buchholz, I am afraid his troopers will not have time to digest before they all die-a-lot. Geeks, while I can not say that I understand your ramble about the X-Files, I was always certain you were one of these pathetic creatures who have a crush on Scully. Yikes. Now IIRC I asked you for some info on canned scenarios you have not played yet. I await an answer still. Senility is still beating me, but my excuse can be found in the very poignant, timely and obviously well-received (what else is new) thread I started yesterday night. Peter Sheepmangler is doomed, but he still has a few turns to find out. He is so wrong about my options that I had a good laugh when I read his assessment of our game, and I actually wonder whether he is playing some impersonator. For the rest of you lot, if your taunting does not improve beyond the current, bleating 'Yo momma' style, I see bleak times ahead for the pool. For reasons of affirmative action, I still continue to refuse to challenge Kitty. Now go and die-a-lot ------------------ Andreas <a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a > Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 WELL UPDATE and I got a big smile on my pie hole! Lorack! rack'em up I win against that druggie-overdosed-southeastasian-lotusblossom eater Croda. (sp) 89:11 muhahaha heres the messy details of our little spat in whicht he barely scratched me. Axis(scoda) 46 casulties (10 KIA) 31 Captured 1 mortar destroyed 5 vehicles knocked out 10 men ok (ran off the field like lemmings in heat) Allies (menschiepoo) 18 casulties (5 KIA) 1 vehicle knocked out 86 men ok so crud muffin me boy you can start polishing my armour and cleaning it up! after opening your belly with my cleaver you spilt your foul intestines on it. on to other games Pengkomon: has not also sent me a file in years, me finks he has been fondling his private parts too long and forgot what his purpose in life is (dying for me) Peanutboy: his folksarmie is mulch much like the crap the kanteen was dishing out before he attacked. Ejaculating Mooks: after trading tit for tat armour losses me finks I am going to have a hard time attacking his town which he has.. damn you had I know I would have taken someting larger then those puny 81mm mörsers grrr.. leave my troops alone will you. Stuka: well the sheep molesting aussie has taken out my 75mm infantry gun but on the good side it disabled his bloody tank way behind lines and a nice thick forest to protect me from his grubby little cannon. Oh look another firefly to swat with my cat. Smoothache: just got his round firing it at lunch break.. all I can say it its a postcard picture landscape cant wait to smear his grubby ass all over it soon. Puttytat kittyschen: well the squire is not holding up too good.. shes got no more armour ..no wait she has armour its just that they are smoking a tad bit. my 5.5 inch cannons are pounding her like no tommorow (you sit down stuka I don't want any sexual comments just yet)... and my two wonderful Churchhills are having a field day playing with her hamsters (sit down stuka, its my final warning... and be a good lad and put that sheep back in the stables your frightening PeterNzer) hmm anyone else...no? ok heres a penny for the lot of you go play outside the pool now.. kitty found the back door key again, find the thread if you can. ------------ Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. [This message has been edited by mensch (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch: my 5.5 inch cannons are pounding her like no tommorow <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ooooh, baby!! Yes!! YES! hehe Yep, the tactically inept usually try to compensate for their lack of skill by using artillery. =) Scratch, Kitty ------------------ ICQ 8273286 www.geocities.com/felineflying/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kitty: Ooooh, baby!! Yes!! YES! hehe Yep, the tactically inept usually try to compensate for their lack of skill by using artillery. =) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Errr....Is it me or is it getting hot in here? I think I'll just go off and have a very cold shower right now! Mace [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mensch Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Damn locked back up... ahh it was nice to get some fresh air like that, lets not mention this to Seanoochie... what he won't know won't hurt us. -------------- Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: ... I'll give you something to brag about. I have taken minimal casualties while you have sustained 25% losses if not more and we are ONLY in the 5th or 6th turn? ... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ROFLMAO!!! Hair shandorfffff... The only thing inflated more than your estimates of my casualties is your ego. One question, Are you a boxer??? ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... [This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Chupacabana: The map is quick and dirty and most likely unbalanced, the force mix is probably wildly unrealistic, and the briefings are a snotty attempt to be semi-humorous. It is the best my feeble mind could come up with. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You are indeed a sick and twisted individual. There is a special place reserved for you in a very dark and humid corner of hell, where demons resembling Maggie Thatcher and Prince Charles in thong bikinis will bite your nipples, play paddleball with your testicles, and make you listen ABBA 24 hours a day. The abortion of a scenario you provided for my tilt with Hiram sickens me. My understrength, exhausted companies of nazi war criminals to face the entire army of corned beef and bad dentistry. Not cricket. My poor spent troopers should be happily tucked in their bunks smoking their nasty ersatz cigarettes after their night of cavorting on the town, but no, instead they are dragged out into the cold night by heartless jackbooted officers wickedly wielding their swagger sticks (sit down Bauhaus). No matter, my men will soon be brewing up Hiram's Earl Gray over the flames of smoking British Panzers. "Mach schnell. Ze Englisch panzzies haf been zited. Ve must break zem into little bitty bits and zend zem postage due back to zer puny island." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Squire Croda reporting for duty, sire. Ahh, Croda, did you bring the belt? Yes, Mister Morse, I have it. But I don't think you'll need it. And why is that, my young apprentice? I'm bruised pretty bad to begin with. Really? Well let's have a look...Ya, that arm looks pretty bad. Looks like Mensch's work, eh? Yup And that cast on the leg...signed by Chupacabra, he beat you too? Badly, sir. Egads, boy! What are you doing out there? Have I taught you nothing? You've taught me the merits of VT, sir. Well that's very good, at least, but you still need your parental beating. Consistent punishment is what breeds good Kniggets. Before I begin though, please bring me up to speed on your other conflicts. Of course sir. As you know, you have routed every man I have left alive on the map. It will come down to my last 2 flak-o-matics to see if they can postpone my topplement. But then again, your armor has been burning for a couple of turns now too, so maybe when you run out of VT, I can turn on you and... Watch it... Well then, on to my Squirely Joust against Stuka of the Mighty Screaming Thingy. We have no idea who is winning this one. The SP and motor carriage parked next to each other managed to immobilize each other, but nothing else. Elsewhere on the map, old men are dying of fright and colostomy bag overload...a dreadful sight. Meeks claims that my assault is illogical and is ruining his plans. Fantastic! Yes, my contingent of armor is cresting a hill right now, and should make contact with his MLR within the next 3 turns. I have taken prisoners, and they claim that he forces them to fight with threats of sodomy at the hands of Aussie Ruggers. Ewww! My sentiments exactly. And speaking of Ewes, I am beating the Prodigal Squire PeterNZer about the head with the tail pipe off of an old DeSoto. Where did you find one of those? I was patrolling around Isla Newbia in PT 212, and that fooll Marlow was attempting to build one out of spare parts laying around. Why was there a DeSoto on Isla Newbia? PawBroon used to drive it, way back when. You know those French can't drive anything decent. Speaking of PawBroon, he had a zook in ambush that took out one of my Stugs. There's only 2 turns left, and I can't imagine he has anything else left to fight with. He's being stubborn and not surrendering, while he threatens a comeback with his jeep toting Monsieur Hyper-Francais, the French version of Barney the damned purple dinosaur. Just began new games with von twothreefour and The Bastard. Nothing eventful in either, except for Jefe killing a HT, but one 1 of 100 is a small loss indeed. Very good, young squire. Now, please assume the position. It is time to breed consistency. You'll make a fine Knigget some day, but for now...you'll do your squirely duty and be my bitch. Scream my name a lot when I hit you...I like to hear my name. <brooding under his breath> *One of these days...* Nice shot, my liege! *I'll tear this freak's kidneys out...* Arrrr! *...and put them where his lungs should be so he can drown in his own piss...* Mmmpphhh... SAY MY NAME BITCH! SAY MY NAME! ------------------ "Nuts!" [This message has been edited by Croda (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 You dare tarnish the glorious history of topplement by mentioning it in the same post as, as synaptical?!?!?! Good god, so the cancer has finally reached that walnut sized brain of yours, has it? Good think you have a separate, larger brain in your anus, though there's a theory going that it was just shoved up there and serves no real purpose. I know your intelligence is just vestigial but synaptical is a damned lazy word while topplement is a work of art, nay, a masterpiece of modern linguistics. You are a hack and I shall have Monty, my midget hand servant (No you cock obsessed bastards, he's that's not a euphemism so keep your dirty thoughts in your dirty underwear) beat you senseless like an errant squirrel. PeterNZer, I will make marmalade out of your innards. You have caused me casualties, yes, you've even destroyed a pair of tanks. But how you will assault so many positions in so little time with such crappy troops is beyond me. Your men are GREEN, that means that as soon as they leave those buildings or run across an open field they will immediately turn into the British equivilent of Barney the Purple Dinosaur. Andreas, I have told you once and I will tell you again, I have no idea about scenarios. I'd love to play a quick operation, if you know a fun one. Perhaps Berli or Peng could create something for us. Yessss, that would be verrrry nice. Who's left? OGSF has learned that planes are bad and that his flanking troops are being flanked. Berli thinks I'm a hoodlum. Chrisl keeps beating the living **** out of me. Lewis still reads goat porn. Now, I need to go to work. ------------------ ...may be stranger than a wading pool full of peyote-abusing Mexican Elvis impersonators. Maybe not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: You know, over the last few weeks, I'm starting to be of the opinion that Bauhaus has quite rehabilitated himself, especially in light of some of the postings by our newer lads. Fixation with 'thingies' seems to have flown from Bauhaus, and found new places to roost. Hard to say which is the most egregious of posters, but the front runners are PeterNZer(certainly don't know why, a kiwi isn't particularly suggestive of anything, actually), Shandorf, and Stuka. What do the rest of you think as to which of these three is most caught up with their genitalia? Then Bauhaus, who no longer leaps up, may be excused from the remain seated remarks, and they can be more profitably applied to the currently dysfunctional. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hi, my name is Bauhaus and I haven't said "thingy" in........oh geez, I just said it. Somebody help, quick get me my thingy...I mean sponsor. Talk about falling off the thingy....ummm, I mean wagon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Beeks! I re-sent my turn last night you overstuffed ostridge. The night before apparently you were hiding behind your mailbox like a frightened child that waits for the boogy man to leave his closet. So you sod, did you get it? Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: ... Herr Bovine - Although I am loosing, I enjoy killing you men. My brave troopers found the remains of two platoons and slaughtered most of them before a couple of squad remains somehow gained hte ability to move and stagered off to the back of the map. Meanwhile he desperately tries to nab the last flag, I think my SMGs will have something to say about that. ... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Desperately tries to nab the last flag?!? Puuhleeeeease. It is simply a matter of where to go next. My troops are done making little hamster sausages at that end of the map, and you had the temerity to start shelling the woods where we were going to have a weenie roast (BAUHAUS... SIT!). Hmm... sit here and get shelled or... RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!! ------------------ To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Look at me, look at me!!!! Sometimes, I'm mistaken for a thinking man! Jefe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, you insolent whelp, I received your turn and sent the next turn in line. When you load it, you will find your men being slaughtered in the following manner: Via 150mm IG fired at extremely close range. Via their own men's bullets firing into their backs. Via German guns, fists and grenades. So do me a favor, you little sissy, and send me the next turn. ------------------ ...may be stranger than a wading pool full of peyote-abusing Mexican Elvis impersonators. Maybe not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 German Armored Forces Smash Allied Incursion Yes, our 3000 pt slugfest with Peterpeterpumkineater is nearing its Raganork. The tally so far. I have lost 2 Panthers, 2 Jagdpanthers, 1 PzIVJ and 2 Lynx's (lynxii ?).Totaling 7 AFV's The Rommel of NZ has lost, 3 M10's, 4 M18's and 6 Easy 8's. For a total of 13. He has at least one more (Easy8?) and perhaps 1-2 others. I have as many as *censored for wartime security* tanks left including *censored for wartime security*! Historical footnote, my forces are without one Panther which due to a placement oversight managed to get setup on a slope and so never got off the start line. Of course the bleating of ubertanks will begin shortly. But a look at the stat's is interesting. The Panther's have carried the load. My heavy hitters have not been a factor. A PzIV -2 kills; Panthers, 1, 3, and 5 kills respectively; a Tiger 1 kill, and a Lynx-1 kill of a M10 (IIRC)! So 75's have carried the brunt. No my young apprentice it is your tactics that are lacking, not the brave efforts of your dearly departed crews. I am afraid that my esteemed colleague and opponent has fallen afoul of his own Peter Principle, which I believe he was the first to set forth in a cogent manner. Of course the original meaning still applies [in a hierarchy you rise to your highest level of incompetency] PP2 states, <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"If the game starts badly, it will probably finish badly."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Truer words were never spoken. ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My inner Croda says it has a growing foundness for you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>-Pawbroom [This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 River Runts EPISODE II Back on board PBR meat-thang (AKA PT 212) our hero peers through the low mists of the River. Ever prepared to protect the weak, and fight for justice (the opening theme of appropriately martial music plays) … Fade to black … (and now a word from our sponsor, McDonalds, proud ambassador of American culture, and irritator of the French … Make sure you try our new Chicken McKniggets, with a hot and spicy sweet and squire sauce …) Back to our show … Cpt. Cruda, vessel sighted three points off the port bow. It appears to be a yellow rubber dingy powered by what sounds like the engine from an old DeSoto. Very well Shandorfff. Ahead two thirds. Bring us along side. *Its that Marlow again. Crafty devil, have to watch out for him.* I thought I told him to stay off the Schloss. Aye sir, you did, but you can't tell these young whippersnappers anything. It wasn't like that in my day, why I remember when I first … Shut up, before I use your balls for fishbait. *Why can't these imbecile children realize that I am just trying to protect them from the lurking dangers of the pool.* Ahoy, Marlow, prepare to be boarded. Capt. Cruda, to what do I owe the honor of this visit *Go away you hairy backed simian* Marlow, you wet behind the ears idiot, where the hell do you think your going. I told you that the Schloss Peng was no place for newbie whelps. I thought I told you to shack up with Here-I-Am-Hurt-Me. You did, but BleaterNZ challenged me to a game. I sent a setup, but haven't seen a reply, I thought I'd go looking for him. (looking closely at Marlow) At least the wool sweater is gone, but he's dangerous, watch out for his favorite tactic, an assault from … Yeh, Yeh, already heard that one. Not to worry, I've locked my chastity belt. Well, I'll tell you what. Why don't you just mosey your little Newbie ass back to the Island, and I'll see if I can't find old Peter. He's probably at home with the Ms. and all their little lambs. You mean his kids? No his lambs. I don't understand … you mean that PeterNZ … and sheep … how disgusting. Didn't you notice his cowboy boots? That’s where he sticks their back legs to keep them from getting away. Anyhow, are you getting along with Hiram? Just fine, we've started a nice friendly little game designed by Satan's own henchman, Chucucacu. It will be a good warm up for my ultimate target. Which would be? His Knight, Kurtz-a-achai. Excuse me, are you insane? He'll kill you, skin you, use your sinews to restring his tennis racket, and your skull for a codpiece! You don't know what you are saying, he is strong with the dark side of the Force. I know the dangers, but I have no choice. My fate is set. I journeyed to this place to seek some reason for my being. The search did not take long, as, like a latter day Tocqueville, Sir PawBroom plumed the depths of my shallow American soul, and enlightened my on the ultimate purpose for my existence: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Marlow is the buggering newbie who's charged to find Kurtz (IE you) to kill him because you (IE Kurtz) are now a ravening lunatic. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is madness! But I must get on with my mission. *go the hell away, you knuckle dragging, eunuch* My feeble minded, idiot child, you would go after a full fledged knigget, without having proved yourself in the pool, you don’t even have a champion here. These knights may be old, senile, lazy, ugly, of the lowest breading … I get the picture. Nevertheless, they have made a pact with powers far more evil than Berli. They have actually harnessed the dark power of the pool for their own foul purposes. You don't stand the chance of Ned Beatty in Attica … you must submit to the kniggets or be destroyed. No, I will not submit. (in a Churchillian voice) I will never surrender. I will submit to none in this pool (aside from the one that may eventually call me squire. Only for that one I will grovel, snivel, and generally abase myself. Moreover, I will make my future sponsor the envy of all other kniggets with my kowtowing, bootlicking and other assorted acts of demeaning subjection. The other knights with their surly, disrespectful squires, squires that dare to best them in battle, and taunt them publicly on the thread. Seems most unbecoming …) Moron, get back to the island before I hurt you. Yes sir Ssquire Ccaptain Choada, thank you for your kind advice … *I'll kill you slowly for this later* ------------------ The reason that the American Army does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the American Army practices chaos on a daily basis. - Anon. German General [This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdmorse Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Yon Marlow has a lean and hungry eye such men are dangerous, and a spot of creative, if redundant verisimilar speech patterns. I urge that someone should champion this stallions unbridled, if addled passion. Alas, my squires, Croda and PeterNZ seem to have developed some....well, disturbing tendencies since their admission to squire status. Croda has honed a fine aggressiveness into a razor sharp weapon, unfortunately his tactical abilities lag a pace. Peter, well what can we charitably say. A certain fondness for the ladies, have our wooley down under cousins in a blather and distracted him from the efficient dismembering we all endorse. So young Marlow in your Journey into the Heart of the 'pool's Darkness, I wish you well, at least until I can slip the knife between your ribs, beware the ides, young Marlow, beware the ides....... and on further consideration, let's see if your military abilities are as lame as your literary pretensions, so if you dare, send me a setup at your convenience, say 1500-2000 QB your choice of variables, self select units... ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My inner Croda says it has a growing fondness for you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>-Pawbroom *edited to allow dissection opportunity of the interloper* [This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: ROFLMAO!!! Hair shandorfffff... The only thing inflated more than your estimates of my casualties is your ego. One question, Are you a boxer??? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ha! Then my ego is HUGE! Yes! And after our battle, dear Hairy Butt, it will grow even larger so that it will consume even light itself. A boxer? Why? Did I bite your ear off? And as long as we are making boxing analogies, what round, or turn shall I say, will you be taking your dive? I have seen wet toilet paper put up more a fight than you appear to be displaying. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 Updates! Lorak, take note! Scrota has been well and thoroughly whipped by the forces of Chupacabrismo. There are lots of burning things on the shattered remnants of our map; two are mine, more are his. The vast majority of the dead cold things are his. I believe the final score was something like 87-13. Goata my dim and ugly boy, the next time you play your betters, do remember to surrender a bit earlier. What can I say, I stacks 'em up and I knocks 'em down. JDHorseface certainly does have an interesting take on our game. Funny, considering what's about to happen to him. Shabapaloopashananaheydorf better have something really freaking neat up his sleeve. If not, I will commence with the shpap. Seanacoochiecoo has decided to bring his puny Mark IV out to play (sit down, Bauhaus)! Yay! It will die soon. Hopefully with bright pretty flames! Sheepbeater...dunno. Where's my King Tiger, dammit?!!?! That is all. ------------------ Grand Poobah of the fresh fire of Heh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: [The small and insignificant Australian Guiana flares his neck pouch. Attempting to seem impressive and rather large even though this defenseless creature fears all predators.] <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh really? We will see about that you pencil neck geek. Come on people sing along! Meeks! Pencil neck geek. Dirty Freak. Scum sucking loser with a lousy physique. He's a one man army of a losing streak. Nothin' but a pencil neck geek. Jeff [This message has been edited to correct the obvious spelling mistake pointed out by Croda! Damn, him to hell!] [This message has been edited by jshandorf (edited 11-14-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest rune Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 As one of the beta gods, and the true evil, i hereby sponser Marlow. I can see black in his soul....he will never be a Berli...but he does have possibilities as the Western Marketing Manager of Evil. hencefore....marlow is now sponsered...anyone silly enough to argue the point with me, will face Berli in my newest evil creation, battle of the bulge. As further punishment, anyone who dare oppose me will not learn how tcp/ip works with Roger Wilco. Rune Commander Army of the Darkne...err i slipped again...Porcupines Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jdmorse: and on further consideration, let's see if your military abilities are as lame as your literary pretensions, so if you dare, send me a setup at your convenience, say 1500-2000 QB your choice of variables, self select units...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> JDMorse, Esq Office above the adult theater Cesspool Counselor, This letter is sent on behalf of the party known as Marlow (AKA that newbie git) in response to the challenge contained in your letter of November 14, 2000. We also reference our client's previous communications with your agent/squire PeterNZ, for no other purpose than to annoy you, and point out his failing to respond to the battle contained therein, as a reflection on your lack of leadership, oversight, and training for said agent/squire. In the November 14 letter, you outline conditions under which you have agreed to meet our client on the ignoble field of battle. Therefore, this letter shall serve as notice that on this day, a file will be sent to you, containing a battle that meets said conditions. This letter shall also provide notice that such battle will provide for your undoing. Respectfully Submitted, Huey L. Deuy, Esq. Deuy, Cheatem, & Howe, L.L.P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted November 14, 2000 Share Posted November 14, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf: Meeks! Pencil neck geek. Dirty Freak. Scum sucking loser with a lousy physic. He's a one man army of a losing streak. Nothin' but a pencil neck geek. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If rhyming was your goal, then physique would have been a much better choice than physic. But, to each his own. And mister marlow, should you be lacking sponsorship at the time when I leave Stuka face down in the mud in our Kniggets Challenge match, I will consider you for Squireosity. You sound ridiculously like me, and I like that. The mere fact that you've modelled your psychological approach to berating the worthless denizens of this murky morass after my own simple (yet so intricately complex that it could never be understood by 100 generations of child prodigies) methods, livens my undead spirit and makes me laugh like I would have had I killed the last Dodo; a light and lilting 'HA Ha Huh Huh.' Until that time, however, KEEP YOUR WUSSY ASS OUT OF SCHLOSS PENG! Schloss Peng is far to dangerous for your kind. I highly suggest that you venture over to Loch Peng, on the other end of the pool. It's two inlets past Peng Fjord, with the dike (Sit Down ALL OF YOU!). You'll know you're there when you hear bagpipes, and see YK2 and OGSF stomping around bare-ass in the mud, attempting to dance, and asking visitors 'Wood ye kar fer an or-derve?!? Wev git lam's scrote puddin' and fish gil pie!' I think that's more your speed. Just don't stare at YK2's butt, PawBroon gets jealous. And don't stare at OGSF's either...PawBroon gets jealous. Your Kurtz visits there often enough too, trying to pretend he is some Kilted Noble. Be sure to spit on him...it's Scottish tradition, you know. I'll bring the PT boat through later on to make sure that you and the DeSoto powered dingy (You people are sick!) are doing allright. ------------------ "Nuts!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted November 15, 2000 Share Posted November 15, 2000 Has anyone noticed that we have yet to complete a Knight's Challenge. What the hell's going on with you malcontents. I demand that you put some effort into your fights, this is serious! Dammit, why am I always cursed with amateurs!!! Also, when the time comes for a new Knight's Challenge, let me know, as I have an excellent idea for the units to take part in it. Roborat, send me a set up so that I may prepare you for your upcoming challenge. Chop chop you insignificant bastard! ------------------ ...may be stranger than a wading pool full of peyote-abusing Mexican Elvis impersonators. Maybe not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted November 15, 2000 Share Posted November 15, 2000 Muwhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! ------------------ Meeks is correct. -Steve, of Big Time Software, creator of Combat Mission, Vicar of Peng on Earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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