BLSTK

Too funny, Woody. Now there's a game I'd be willing to pay money for.

The only April Fools are those who pre-ordered and therefore pre-paid at the mere suggestion of something that may or may not materialize. Just joking... I still love you guys. Keep the faith.

Banesy! With a signature like yours? How could you? "Visit Scotland, if Only Because a Brain Cell is a Terrible Thing (Not) to Waste" *paid for by the Brewers' Retail of Ontario, purveyors of "vaguely beerish frozen swill" to the common man since Banesy's Gran Pappy invented fire.

To be honest, we should all be grateful to BFC for delaying the release of its highly anticipated offering. Think of how well we Forum Brethren have gotten to know each other over the past eight weeks.

Of course, it might just mean Steve's ringing in the Cubs' season on Opening Day.

As for the difference between Americans and their Canadian cousins, it all boils down to the beer. Canadian newborns prefer micro-brew over mother's milk. It's as simple as that.

You have learned well, Grasshopper. Thanks for making the distinction between Americans and their Canadian cousins. Flashback to Christmas, 1986: Shropshire, England. Pub crawl with "The Irrepressible Scot", Steven McConnville (whose father was a Guinness distributor at the time). Eight bloody pints later (none of them a Guinness), he's waving a white flag. I have out-drunk a Brit in his own backyard, so to speak. Another urban myth shattered. I even kept a record of every pint I imbibed that night. Good thing, too, as I can't even remember how in the bejeesus we made it home. For the record, it was the "Owd Roger" that did me in. That stuff is vile, even after your seventh pint. Aaach...so much beer, so little liver.

co-pilot to pcpilot: "Which of these buttons is the Auto-Pilot?" You Sir, are a truly gracious host. As for bad-mouthing Cali, how can I possibly "go there" when you've got Sunsets, San Francisco, The Eagles and the best drive in the world ("Highway One" in the southbound lane, to be precise). Oh, and did I mention "Anchor Steam" beer and Da Raiders of the Black Hole?

Pffffff... The Peng Thread (emphasis mine) makes the rest of us look like a Freakin' Literary Society...just not literally. Not that I've ever read it, mind you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmmm. Still haven't heard from pcpilot. So I guess he's OK with my rambling incoherently. Canadian beer will do that to you.

You Gents do know that Baneman's Grand Dad invented fire, right? He told me so himself. Now that's old! Tell 'em, Banesy.

Hey, how many of you have pre-ordered BFC's latest offering? Something with a working title of "Red Thunder". It'll be out any day now. Whatchall waiting for? Co-pilot to pcpilot: There, fixed the thread fer ya. It was the least I could do. In other news, I think we're all gonna die!

@ pcpilot Now the Californians. What can I possibly say about The Californians? Quite a bit, actually. But I will spare you all the hard feelings and myself the humiliation of then having to ask forgiveness because that is what we Canadians do. PC, I am truly sorry for derailing your thread. If it be your wish that I refrain from any further comment (in this thread only, mind you), I shall abide out of respect for my Neighbors to the West who see the sun shine for a full three hundred and sixty-five f*u*c*k*i*n*g days of the year. It won't be easy, but I will comply. It's your call.

I'll tell you where you can put it, mate.

@ Not-the-Sharpest-Alex-in-the-UK Perhaps instead of allowing Scobie Gits like you to break up Great Britain, Britain should bannish Scobie Gits like you to some isolated island.. Oh wait. They've already tried that.

@ AlexUK Way to not "enter the fray", Smart Aleks. It's a little late for that. As for your assertion that any country "wipes the floor with your Canadian cousins"... (a) rest assured your Canadian cousins think even less of you and... ( I'd have thought you might have heard of something called a towel. But then again, you were never known for your intellect, nor for your hygiene and... © you should be pretty good at cleaning up messes since you've made plenty of them and... (d) it's unfortunate that you aren't qualified to perform any other meaningful line of work and... (e) people named Aleks are not particularly Smart. See what I did there? Didn't think so. This is not an attack on Scots, nor on Bonnie Scotland. My love of both is duly noted. It is directed at one individual, who shall be nameless. And rightfully so, since he is a wanker.

Too funny, Jay-man. Incidentally, I love your signature. As a grad student in Romance Languages ("Hello, Ladies"), I studied much of Voltaire's work. One of my favourite lines is: "il faut cultiver son propre jardin" or "we should get our own s*h*i*t together" (a somewhat loose bowel translation). Sadly, they broke the mould when they made him.

Fret not, Banesy. There's always the Crimea. They'll take anyone. As for the selection of pints, "another glass of your loathsome, vaguely beerish frozen swill, if you please."

Tell me, Cymru. You guys aren't planning to break away from Britain any time soon, are you? Before you know it, we'll be back to "Little Britain". And I don't mean the sitcom.

Now the Welsh. If there is one place on this terrestrial sphere I could truly call home, it is Wales... (One branch of our family tree...make that the trunk...can be traced to Picton).

We now return to your regularly scheduled program...

Forget Jesus. What would Rob Ford do?

You mean you're a human douche bag? You're a disgrace to the human race? You sleep with Michael Enema? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you should consider running for public office. Please note, this is not a reflection on you ddkk. It is more a reflection on how one Canadian feels about the disturbing trend in low life aspiring to a position of authority. And the sense of entitlement. And the lack of morals. There isn't a pond big enough for that fat f*u*c*king scum-sucking blowhard. And I mean that in the nicest...most Canadian sort of way. Otherwise, yeah, he gets my vote.

Don't worry about the pipes. I'll get ahold of a set. Never mind that I've never played them in my life. There's a first time for everything. I'll blow into one end. Noise will come out the other end. That's what pipers do. How hard could it be? It can't possibly sound worse than the real deal, can it?

@ Pedro You've got a deal. Good choice of bevies, as well. I happen to know the Canadian distributor of Ennis & Gun, head of PMACanada. I could probably get your Edinburgh brew cheaper than you could and you live there...go figure! Cuz if there's one thing Wee Scots love more than the drink, it's saving money on the drink.

Tell you what, Banesy. Let's call a truce. Tell your buddy Pedro to bring his bagpipes. How I miss the sound of bagpipes. We're gonna have a bonfire! PS - I'll bring the effigy of Mr Enema. You bring the matches, OK?