37mm

Originally posted by YK2: Presumably because all ladies know absolutely everything all the time without fault or… reason (and those terrible, terrorist loving ‘liberals’ who talk about ‘hormone cycles’ can just burn in Penglessness). As I’ve said before all choir boys of Peng will receive 23 sheep after Combat Mission dies (an idea given by the righteous Nightwach, just before OUR Justicar scared him off)… so obviously I keep (or are intending to keep) sheep.

God I hope not, I live blah, blah, blah </font>

... or a Justicar?

Not to worry. You can only be misunderstood if we actually listened to you....so how about feeling ignored instead? Mace </font>

Oh right, does that mean your time is up? ** BOOT ** Do make sure to call again sometime! </font>

May 2004… no my dear lady that’s before my time. I’ve been here at the Peng thread for little over a hundred days… sorry I’ve been here for THE hundred days. If your little book is wrong on such a detail it may go some way in helping to explain the omittance of my titles… yes that MUST be it [ January 29, 2005, 05:04 PM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

A piddling thing my dear lady but I’ve racked up a few titles a day so far, here is but a selection… Leading light of the house of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) Finest Squire of the finest liege Boo Radley Official Peng blessed, disowned & tolerated Messiah of the Peng Challenge Sacred wielder of the holy doorknocker round Honorary 10th Member of the Fellowship The Thermometer of the Justicarate Anointed pope-to be Primus exquisite Peng thread AAR creator Lead expert on US beetles (apparently… I didn’t even appoint myself that one) Offical owner of the Abu-graib mouse orphanage Destroyer of Rainbows Leading visionary & future seeker of the Peng Challenge The very definition of humble & modest (alternative oxford dictionary 2004) Stopped clock on the apocalypso & the variants signs & portents foreshadowing it … etc, etc, etc I’m surprised you’ve never heard of me

Err I liked your... I mean my... I mean I like the idea

Seanachai says... There will be little time for waving & smiling if you are busy smiting Choir boys & disciples Probably but you’re getting ahead of yourself & myself… these things can take bloody millennia to evolve (oops shouldn’t really use that word). I myself prefer the idea of flagellants who pointlessly & aimlessly abuse & humiliate themselves, but lets not bicker over q’s & i’s. I am glad for the alliance I will call on it… indeed I will need it. I have foreseen it you see a great darkness, a tide of love & respect will awash this place, terrorists will embrace our presidents & prime ministers, Australians will breed with Scandinavians, Brett Favre will fall & the people will call out for help. Who will save them? Perhaps the time of the pool will come.

Joe Shmoe stated that... Rebel without a clue? I suppose this ‘rebellion’ in question is the one against you? May I remind you o’justicar the grievance between you & I stems from the closing of a certain thread (thought I’d forgotten & forgiven ‘ey?) by your hands, a certain series of ghastly attacks on the house of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) perpetuated by yourself and your continuing failures as a Justicar. I for one consider that grievance suspended by the good nature of your righteous website (I think we can all agree that any time you spend there is time which could have been spent here so is therefore time well spent) but if you wish to reopen the wounds then carry on as you will. My liege once taught me that it is difficult to penetrate your stone death-ness (where has that particular flame warrior gone he was always my favourite him & the evil jerk) which makes conversation difficult however it sometimes helps to use the western metaphors of your twisted childhood… very well Oh old sheriff who has let the bad guys (with their dark hats, poor teeth & propensity for chewing little sticks & spitting) run amok in this here fine town (looks around at the dead end collection of dusty shacks, horse **** & drunkards) you should relinquish your feelings of distrust & envy at the sight of the obvious hero (white hat, nice boots & a love of mice) & instead aid him in his quest to bring justice to the town & the bad guys (that means shooting them in a comical manner)… oh & watch out for those darned Indians

Well back to old ways are we o’ Justicar? (You know there’s really no need for you to get your knickers in a twist just because I’m correcting your spelling mistakes) Fine listen to the soothing words of your senile sycophants but do not doubt my holiness. You can deal with your cold, barren, lifeless secular issues whilst I will revel in the tepid, humid, infested spirit of choice PS My acne is much better nowadays PPS Dear lady, am I not owed a turn from many moons ago?

Honour bound? Honour bound? What poppycock A squire (who’s never been a Serf) disowned by his liege! Is it not clear that what we have here is a new classification* of pooler? V42farbelow is a Ronin… And let him stay that way until he whores himself off to someone else * Yet another unique classification to go along with most inane, most pointless, most likely to be picked on by stickypiss & the member of the Cesspool who most resembles a sphincter

Who’d ever have guessed it? A Swede claiming that Ozzies are obscure creatures of fantasy. Inevitably it is the terror of global warming which is to blame for this Nu-Yoika’s plight… [ January 25, 2005, 08:28 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

I told ye all he was a bad omen

Disappointing AAR… disappointing players Perhaps the pair of you can form a colony…. Come on evolve, you know you can do it

Joe It might be possible & that’s good enough for me… I have a dream you know. One day I’ll say “I am a Knight of the House of (sigh) JD MORSE (sigh)” and I’ll say it without the sighing, without the nagging doubt, the terrible visions… with the whiskey bottle out of sight & out of mind. Anyway I thought that Brad/Jen thing was resolved if I remember correctly it ended when Brad became happy that Ross had knocked Rachel up & Phoebe hugged Brad because… well just because. That’s quite good for a Yank… I doubt you read that in your Mormon bible, so where did you learn it from? From below... The reborn Justicar is clearly acting in a most righteous manner. As I’ve said before even that pile of decaying faecal matter stickypiss is infinitely more deserving of his squireness. You’re lucky you’re even spelt properly o’ farbelowpar. And another thing; do not try to talk directly to Peng it is not only deeply insulting but liable to end up with you having to eat your own whatsydoodahs, if you must communicate to him you can do so through I.

You all disappoint me greatly… not one, not one, I say not a single fecking bloody one of ya have donated anything to my ‘rehabilitate a lawyer appeal’. Have I not taught you people nought? Perhaps ya wan’t me to hammer the nails in myself?

I’m sure they can be rehabilitated…although I do have grave & dark visions about this JDMorse and how it began this seemingly glorious House. I see apocalypso everywhere

What the feck is this, this… Meek (spelt?bolded?spat upon?) guy? Coming in here mocking the Belgian (insulting that frigging wannabee-Frenchified crushed scrotum is my job), writing about make belief San Francisco (I suppose you moved to SF from Never-never-land) and its ‘university’, getting all uppity when Peng blessed his shoes with regurgitated holiness and exclaiming! all! the! fecking! time!!! Exactly how long will it remain here? I tell you it is a bad omen.

Gather round, gather round ye Cess cretins. Will you help a new charity I’m setting up? The Rehabilitation for lawyers Program… Essentially the program has three steps, which I call the three R's... Realization: a lawyer must first admit it is a lawyer (this can be difficult it might sue you for harassment) & then it must admit that it is a terrible bane to itself & society (incredibly many lawyers think getting murderers, corrupt politicians & Trekkies off the hook whilst throwing doctors, teachers & police into jail is ‘beneficial’ to society!) Rehabilitation: The difficult (& therefore fun) part, the lawyer must be ‘trained’ to break its habits. I advise sending a lawyer to hospital as often as possible for as many different ailments as possible eventually with time (a lot of time) the lawyer may come to see the hospital as a good place not a place to make money. In extreme cases however a frontal lobotomy may be required on top of the obligatory electro-shock therapies and ‘room 101’s’. Reintegration: A lawyer will be given a place in society more appropriate to its talents perhaps a small McJob or a stable cleaner. Constant reviews of the patients progress are vital as even the smallest incident can get a patient back onto the ‘sue, crash & burn cycle’. For instance many will be given a job in the catering industry… however if a colleague was to, say cut a finger whilst chopping veg, a patient could regress & immediately call out “who ya going to sue?”… So please remember to help out your fellow man (I’m sure everyone will enjoy ‘rehabilitating’ lawyers) & give generously.

Hmm I'm waiting for you to send me a turn, that might help with filling ya inbox

People will be pleased to hear that they too can be saved from Armageddon by buying ‘Peng’s mineral water’… it only costs $9.99 per 275ml bottle and goes well with all dishes. Ludicrously expens… righteously priced water might help me convert a dumba... open minded Hollywood ‘star’ or two… anyone know the email address of this Brad/Jen entity? Alternatively you may want to join Armageddon… I’d advise buying your own 'Peng Humvee'... I haven’t settled on a price yet

Perhaps it is because you hath taken part in the prejudicizing of the ‘religiously inclined’ & that is surely a poor deal. I’m not talking about any of those false religions of course, mock away at will; heck if it was only those involved I’d join ya. However I feel it was the ‘religiously inclined’ who were most grievously insulted… this is a direct threat to my attempt to create a true religion, a religion of Peng himself (although his lordships visits are most blessedful it does grate somewhat when he is around, if the God is here all the time who needs the Messiah some would ask). Still a picture of the Easter bunny crucified would be cool (plus I’m sure the American department of homeland security would be very interested). V41lowshmuck wrote... If there’s one thing that annoys me more than a feckless Oddstralian cockroach whose false credentials were bestowed on him when the Justicar was nought but a weak willed fool (concerning those credentials, now that the Queen has disowned him {and rightfully of course}, should he really count {I use the term in the most contemptuous way possible of course} as a squire anymore… who is he a squire to?) then it’s a feckless, Oddstralian cockroach whose false credentials were bestowed upon him when the Justicar was nought but a weak willed fool AND who has a super inflated ego. No-one is looking at you ya disgusting little ‘false step into what seemed like firm ground but has now turned out to be a steaming pile of canine faecal matter’… They are looking at Peng (& me). Now please continue ‘backing out of the room’ (such a noble way of putting ‘flees from the room as brick after holy brick is unleashed’) I wouldn’t want to disturb you in a task that you are uniquely qualified for…

Now that BFC have confirmed that the next CM will feature space lobsters I was wondering had anyone here seen this movie http://www.reelcriticism.com/ziggyrealm/reviews/lobsterman.html

Rleete (like the archetypal stopped clock) is correct, it’s not as if my liege’s rules were difficult to understand… whilst we’re filling Coventry can we not reconsider that total feckhead ‘limpy of the four nags’… he really is quite annoying