37mm

Now that to me sounds like it could be a cue for a challenge but I'm not so sure how to deal with you or even if I should… Aren’t you technically a SSN? Either way you’d have to deal with a turn every three or four weeks, a major defeat two years later and then an AAR where I’d rub salt into your many wounds; so its probably best if you buggar off someplace else. [ December 08, 2004, 09:42 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

It's called an AAR Limpy! It wouldn't be very much good if I just wrote "It was a draw" now would it?

Yes I did but I'm having a few computer problems at home so I may have to transfer to a chess AAR! Probably be sending turns at the the weekend may have time for an IP also... [ December 08, 2004, 10:13 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

Mechanized warfare AAR a Messianic production Knight to be (indeed should be) 37mm, leading light of the House of Morse, wielder of the sacred doorknocker HEAT round AND official, Peng blessed & disowned, Messiah of the Peng challenge thread VS. Nidan1 proof that my liege can make mistakes & the challenge thread whipping boy Nidan1's CM ability was well known to me & this caused a minor dilemma. If I was to pick an ordinary scenario or QB I’d be assured the pleasure of grinding this smarmy 'stickypiss loving' 'New Yoika' beneath my huge boots however to some extent the Peng challenge thread is a ‘challenge thread’ and I felt that the need for a challenge was more important than the guarantee of victory (this was before intensive ‘training’ by my liege since then I have learnt better). As such I sent Nidan a set up in which I took the Soviets in a mechanised force type meeting engagement in August 41. In short his armoured cars would come equipped with rapid firing 20mm auto-cannons which would tear apart my own slow firing tin cans. A single 37mm Pak could probably take out a company of BA’s, his infantry are at the top of their game & totally superior, he has access to AT-rifles, brilliant HMG’s & fast artillery. My ‘advantage’ would be a few extra shells for my on board mortars. The battle would be played in fog & rain which would protect me from stuka’s and close the combat ranges to about 450m max. I took 16 armoured cars, three 75mm infantry guns pulled by three jeeps, a rifle company with attached maxims and mortars, an 81mm FO, a 12.7mm HMG and three ampulomets. The plan was to take the central wood & from their dominate the centre of the battlefield. I then intended to move cautiously towards the objectives & acquire contact with the enemy. When I knew where the enemy were & in what force I could then reinforce key areas as required primarily with a reserve platoon, the jeep-infantry guns, any spare BA’s & the artillery spotter. I’ll let Nidan1 explain his ‘plan’ in his own words… I read a book about combined arms recently but it was confusing so I figured I’d try what napoleon taught us i.e. division of force. I split my cavalry on one flank (I didn’t have any horses [bFG fix or do sumfink] so I took crack armoured cars cause they’s is well ‘ard) and the infantry on the other. Both would drive at the flags & sit there till the battle was over. The battle began with an early attack by three of Nidans armoured cars at the key central wood ( Nidan1: I thought there was a flag there but wasn’t silly me ) whilst my forces were still on the move, his attack caused havoc for a while… wounded the FO, destroyed an LMG unit & an infantry gun. However my armoured cars engaged and destroyed the attackers although I lost two BA’s doing so. The enemy had clearly occupied the left flank objective wood in strength therefore my lead platoon played defensively and merely exchanged rifle fire with the Germans. On the right things really started to heat up when Nidan launched a strong ‘armoured’ push for the objectives there. All he met were my Molotov throwers which started to light up the German cars; next my infantry gun & 12.7mm HMG readjusted their positions within the central wood & finished off the force. With this over my right flank platoon occupied the wood & massacred the crews there. Interesting to note was my LMG team on the far right first they spotted an AT gun in the open & kept it occupied till they had nearly ran out of ammo then they chased the AT gun into a wood & fired the last of their bullets into the backs of the crew, knocking it out. Another central LMG team also knocked out an AT gun in the open. I now began transferring forces to the left including my mortar spotter & eventually the infantry gun. Before they arrived I launched an ill fated probe with armoured cars. On turn 20 the bombardment began but it was disappointing to say the least. I had began to lose BA’s from every which direction, direct HE managed to finally drive to ground some of the defenders but when my reserves were finally committed they met a team of flamethrowers! The battle was a draw but I don’t know what’s worse; failing to beat Nidan1 (how many people can say that!) or Nidan1 failing so abysmally to defeat a bunch of peasants and tin cans! [ December 08, 2004, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

. [ December 08, 2004, 08:03 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

My Lord you don't look right without a decent sig line... had any thoughts?

Sod say's... Sod means... "I'm off to see my Mum today, she'll be as drunk as ever so I'd better join her"

Walks in through hole in wall, looks down at the piles of rotting trash, half-eaten limp leftovers, pools of lumpy vomit and partially crushed cans of cheap lager… “I see the Cheery wafflers are keeping their place in good order” Notices his liege across the room taunting with incredible skill some kind of mushroom… * 37mm coughs* * Boo turns around* “Err Lord what are you doing in here, its not good for your skin you know? Any way its time for your weekly bath, I’ve made it nice & bubbly just as you like.”

Dear Lady I ask you not to fall for the treacherous words of this bureaucratic, 'lawyer type', MrSpkr loving, thread closing, Pengless, Boo fearing, weasel who flees in terror at the hefty sound of my Masters footsteps. It is clear beyond any doubt that this here CM challenge thread is being run by a ‘flirter with other games’! Why just a few nights ago I cleansed myself of all non-CM games & burnt the whole lot (I keep the ashes in a little shrine) meanwhile the Justicar only seems to play (i.e. he starts it up, begins panicking, ends up crashing/burning/getting shot, game over screen appears, shuts down, enters the Peng thread & comes up with a new rule & regulation to enforce) & talk about racing games, shoot’em’ups & arcade ‘flight sims’… It’s disgusting but what’s worse is he’ll never admit that he wormed his way out of my Lieges glorious challenge & has somehow in some strange way managed to inflict another insult on the house of Morse. However if the Justicar is Pengless then that’s one thing but if we fall for his words & forget his Penglessness we’ll be no better than him…

Hmmm 'Crodaburg' if I remember my notes correctly didn't rleete (!!!!!!!!) hand your ass back to you in that one? Has anyone made an AK update, could be laugh? I will continue to unleash my crazed Vietnamese at your Verdun-esque defences once another PBEM game is over & done with (probably in a day or two) then I'll upgrade to V1.03 & I'm away again. My PBEM with Nidan1 won't last much longer I'll post a nice AAR afterwards with pretty pictures & everything...

37mm staggers up off the floor & turns to face Boo his face contorted with shock & barely suppressed rage, both their minds swim with crazed thoughts; “I deserve better”, “just you wait”, “I still need a Judas”, their cold dead eyes meet and in a measured, steely voice 37mm says (with as much contempt as it is humanly possible to possess) “I accept your view oh fri… mighty Lord”… Mikey wrote... Surely you don’t mean our as in “others & I” because lets face it Emrys how exactly is your Ned Flanders-esque pip squeak going to induce ‘terror’… Actually don’t answer I’ve just worked it out you mean ‘terror’ as in… "Oh f%@k it's f!%king Emyrs!!! I'm f££king terrified of that f#~king piece of s^!t!!! He always manages to either... (a) bore my f)&king head off ( go all f($king homoerotic and start drooling about mens thighs or male 'worms'... © bore my f^&king head off"

First off it was obvious he was hurtling towards self destruction & immolation so what harm could I have done. Secondly my insane (but understandable) belief that stickypiss & Dim are one & the same or at least in league, I felt made the situation exceptional to the ordinary rules of Coventry. Thirdly if you check this thread you can quite clearly see the 'Usurper' piss Dorosh off no end so although seemingly as useful as rleete's tallywhacker Dim did actually have some uses. Fourthly the very idea that Peng could have disciples provoked me into a blind rage. Fifthly does any one know the rules any more? They don't seem to get posted, except by me of course, they don't seem to be enforced (except the most piddling & pointless of them) & the shmoe who is supposedly enforcing them is still ‘busy’ avoiding ‘ the Justicar to be'… More ‘ Dogma of Peng'… But loathe ye your enemies, and do challenge, and hurl HE, hoping for nothing again; This I feel sums up what a challenge game of CM should be like remember to buy artillery & as much HE as you can… bullets are cool! I have no problem with bullets, Molotov’s & flamethrowers, yes of course I’d like to cook my enemies I have no problem with them. Running over your enemies with tanks, great idea exactly what tanks were designed for! But HE is important because of its psychological importance. What are you saying Oh Messiah? Are you saying HE suppression is useful… *SLAP*!!!! NEIN! HE reduces your enemies to shattered fragments, it tends to remove the brain from the body & this can affect the psychology of the receiver, hurl HE wherever you can & no harm will be done… well not to you anyway You will notice that some of us here think a challenge game should involve lorry driving games & not HE!

Oh look its stickypiss and Dim, both together but yet never here at exactly the same time… I’m now totally convinced that they are the same ‘person’.

Dim the usurper wrote... BOOT, BOOT & BOOT again you little, filthy rancid cyst who sits on my ass and has to be removed with the help of a rusty, **** covered spoon, used ordinarily to remove cat excrement from litter trays, and a bottle of tequila chock full of stickypisses worms… Peng does not have disciples! I have… or will… or might have one day… Prostrate yourself before your Messiah now and buggar off back to Coventry or I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your pointless days as a Peng forsaken heretic!

So I have been cast out into the wilderness ey?... No fear for I see clearly your true intended purpose! You wish me to spend the time I would have used paying someone to follow you to instead think, contemplate & inscribe the ‘dogma of Peng' … I thank you for the opportunity & I think I will begin with… “Hate thy neighbour as you would hate yourself” This is of not applicable to me of course but I’m sure the rest of you deep down see the kind of hatred you should be aiming at; consider this would/do you celebrate your own birthday like some here have been doing to others? I doubt it very much; you lot will surely spend your spawning-days sobbing away, miserably drunk*, alone but perhaps not entirely forgotten for you do have that card from your Grandma although she spelt your name wrong and you have been ‘cheered up’ by a “ Happy Birthday you @£&!” post at the Peng thread… but still like a crushing weight on your mind you cannot escape the thoughts of ANOTHER year wasted, another year with Lars still alive, another year of this Peng forsaken existence, another year of enforced celibacy, oh well at least its one more year down before the great one decides to scratch your name from the register… So I repeat… “Hate thy neighbour as you would hate yourself” * The Australians here will probably not understand that but I feel I should try to translate it because otherwise they’ll spot the word drunk, notice the other word besides it & get all confused & restive. Some might start thumping away at the keyboard and perhaps a few will manage to post something (& I’m sure I’m not the only one who doesn’t want that) so instead I will pre-emptively strike by saying that miserably drunk to 'normal people' is a kind of state a little like being miserably sober is to Australians…

You forget Joey Shmoe believes if he sees a representation of a human on film or whatever he loses his soul or whatever... so I very much doubt he's seen the film but I can tell you now that he is 'unforgiven’ :mad: [ November 30, 2004, 02:25 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

Peng himself wrote... I am more than prepared for any hardship you wish to unleash my way; do you not know what I do for a living? I fully expect to be pilloried & despised and more likely than not I’ll end up crucified (or perhaps just ran over slowly by a T-26) but none of that matters. For I AM right… not right as in indisputably correct, not right as in the opposite of wrong or even the opposite to left. No! I mean right as in… “ surely this bayonet should be thrust up deep into stickypisses bolt hole allowing me to add wild scorpions, enraged super wasps, genetically modified frenzied hamsters & a vial of capsaicin (the active ingredient of chilli peppers) into his never regions." Not for any personal reasons of course and I doubt sticky would enjoy the ordeal* but as I say "surely it should be done"… In the end Peng you may do to me as you will I will soak it all up, smash it into pieces and from those shattered fragments my mind will recreate the true image, the true meanings of your bile soaked words… Remember “he who has not sinned may cast the first Zooka round” * unlike Lars who after reading this will probably just add to the disgusting stains around his desk

Ahh Oh mighty Peng I could have screamed... “why Peng have you forsaken me?” ...but the answer is in the question… I have been forsaken by Peng how truly blessed am I?!? As always I am amazed by your colossal spite, your tenacious foulness & near mindless aggression I will try harder (perhaps even a couple of minutes a day!) to spread the Pengness across this thread to those who have no-one to teach it to them…

Are you always so annoying?

Berlichtingen you are old and life itself must seem so very pointless to one such as you who looks only forward to the kiss, the final embrace, the post coital cigarette of death itself. However we living things which are born, age & then die rather than just linger are easily wisped away, swayed, left floundered by the currents of fate & time & alcohol. We need structure to our lives to give them at least the illusion of time whilst you need only wallow in delusion… It is for this reason that the Peng challenge & the position of Justicar itself was created, although I have problems with some (read all) of the decisions made I still respect the need for someone to make them. One such element of this structure is the hierarchy of Knights and squires and serfs and SSN’s… These things do change as an SSN can become a serf but soon and mercifully death will end its existence. But a serf cannot become an SSN. It would be madness to try, how could it be done? No a decision once made cannot be reversed it can be eliminated by Coventry or by the desert but it cannot be reversed. I expect the Justicar when he manages to totter along here will himself say that this is so... and besides considering the stink my liege made when my thread was closed I doubt it’d be worth the hassle to demote me particularly so soon after the completion of my quest & the blessings I hath received from Peng.

Stickypiss I consider you nothing more than a half rotten pile of phlegm brought up from the filth ridden lungs of a TB ravaged leper… even worse you’re a Belgian half rotten pile of phlegm brought up from the filth ridden lungs of a TB ravaged leper! But seeing as you are a squire of Nidan1 who was the former squire of my liege Boo who was the former squire of Croda who presumably was the former squire of JDMorse himself (I haven’t studied the lineage in as much detail as I should have) I consider you ,amazingly, in some respect... kind of like family! When I say family, I of course mean the mostly forgotten half cousin of your former Brother in law who you’ve only ever met once in a drunken stupor and though you remember very little of that night you specifically remember that you never wish to meet that utter bore again... but nonetheless you’re like family. And I’ll tell you now if you were ever to wake up one day & have a go yourself of restarting the thread, I’d of course cajole you & spit on you along with everyone else but if some uppity lawyer type fellow (not a real lawyer who although contemptible at least deserves that contempt, no I mean just a 'lawyer type') then slapped you & the great house you at least try to represent with a 'foul & stinking kipper' I would be there in a flash at your side, armed & dangerous, in your trench, ready to supervise you in your fight against oppression. That’s what it means to belong to the house of JDMorse, that’s what I’ve learnt and it’s to your eternal shame stickypiss that you don’t feel likewise…

Good to see we’re getting back to the abysmal standards we have all come to expect, what exactly is a new SSN going to think (assuming it can think) when he or she enters this here thread? If an SSN starting coming here mouthing off racist abuse about Australians, flirting with the ladies, challenging no-one in particular or Knights to games of Quake or what have you... I ask could we really blame that SSN? Or would we (as in the Justicar) all be partly responsible? Either way I suppose I feel better now that the ‘unjustifiable’ thread has been closed, its very being represented only the most grievous of insults for the house of Morse and though that ‘slap across the face with a most unholy of kippers’ still remains in existence at least it is no longer being added to or detracted from. However one item of note did occur amongst its foul pages and hideous incantations and that was this quote by Seanachai… Now as I complete my term papers* for Boo I’ve been forced into reading the archived threads and correct me If I’m wrong but does this not entitle me to be now known as… ‘Sir 37mm most flavoursome Knight of the house of JDMorse, wielder of the sacred HEAT doorknocker round and the official anointed one of Immaculate Conception’'? * the latest paper was on ‘the deconstruction of ALL of dalems versifications’. My results showed that 95% of them meant essentially “Dalem is a fool, He likes stew, what’s it like to be a tree?, do you like me?" the other 5% I couldn’t figure out but in my defence Boo didn’t seem to know either he just told me to buggar off & stop pestering him whenever he's ‘resting’.

Is it just me or are a lot of the old mob returning to Peng, and are they acting like a breeze of fresh* air gently wafting over the foetid Cesspool? Indeed there seems to be a skip in all your steps, many of you have relearned how to use your spell checkers, other have had to relearn the English language all together, despite my relentless attempts to start a world encompassing pox (if only to get at Stickypiss) many of you sound healthy, I hesitate to use the word ‘happy’ amongst individuals who’ve known only isolation & cruel (though deserved) mockery but you all seem less likely to jump than normal, even the ones from down under sound partially less drunk… Perhaps a new dawn for the cess pool may arise, perhaps the apocalypso can be avoided, perhaps even a return to a golden age… However all we need now is for the Justicar to ruin it all by starting to complain about the latest game that he is awful at (what will it be next? My bet is on Madden’97?) You will notice oh mighty Justicar that my own complaints are taken to the General forum where they belong! * or to be more accurate previously stale air which has merely been stale elsewhere & now just seems fresh when perhaps it is doubly stale

In my last post of the 'true' thread (before it was cruelly snatched away) I quite clearly stated that I was now busy measuring the thickness of mice ears... keep up people </font>

Neither the Peng thread nor the 'Cheery waste of time' threads are 'ladders' for one thing those things imply people can rise where in the cesspool people can only go deeper... Still if you wish to dip your toe try to remember the rules...