37mm

I just know you’re doing this on purpose. The link is here http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=52;t=000596;p=10#000227 ... and as for his liege lords responsibility! His liege lord is v42below for fecks sake! That was my Peng damn complaint! If v42below has failed to complete your appropriate paperwork (unlikely to be his fault in this particular regard, considering your paperwork requirements change every day) then I once again put forward my original complaint. I am recomplaining Peng damit V42below is never here nor has he even fought his ‘serf/squire’ (even ignoring the 5 game tradition)… he cannot possibly be lord to the fool known as … … Juay … Sumfink ... ... the thing we were talking about. Now sort it Joe!

He is a squire... you made him one, like about two weeks ago... against my protest's no less! Perhaps you should have Boo keep notes for you?

Don't try to fake it, laddie... That's the first of literally dozens of references to your age I can turn up - that is just the most obvious and blatent. And don't bother editing it - I've got a dated screenshot to prove it. </font>

Group hug?

Boo's ... dated? ... err anyhow's, I've rustled up a quick set-up & it's now on it's way. You know I respek you Pengykins ... who's my super, extra special spiritual overlord now?

You are... both me & stickypixie are considerably older than you for we are knights (him barely of course... heck he's not even much of a student... spending time here in The Pool when he should be reading up on 'the trials & tribulations of that Robin Williams fellow when he was an alien... Mork or sumfink' or whatever else he does in his Media studies 'degree'... his Sister has chosen much more wisely for her choice of speciality, Biology, being a proper subject, is roight fit & proper) whilst... u iz not. Time works strangely here... and brackets

Again typical ‘it’s all about bloodlines’ Uropean finking… that kinda thing has gotten Uropeans into trouble before. I don’t care whether you’ve Asian blood or not… you’ll always be a pointless, stinkin’ Belgian to me

Unlikely... you're closer to France than me

Just finished the second episode... train job I think it was called... was alright

Now, now, now you see this is what happens when you let too many Uropeans slip into the Pool… sometimes stickypixie it is the individual who must be held responsible for his/her/it’s actions & not some bloody ‘authority’… stoat is clearly a bleedin' idjit & there’s nowt Boo could do or have done to change that.

It has... I had plans you know... they all fell through... and now I'm playing CMAK with an imbecile of a Nu-Yoika... great day's even if they are the last days

Prick

I don't know after that Canadian beer even ... sigh... even Castlemaine XXXX might be preferable

What the hell is wrong with you Peng? Are you just trying to pull your best impression of a mobile haemorrhoid by irritating the ass off me? Look & listen ‘ere you ‘orrible little itchy scab not only have you had your challenge but a proper good rap as well and all you could do was stagger away with your usual hideous gait, hide behind the Justicar’s skirt (although he is pretty fetching in the old number I have to admit… do you wax those legs regularly Joe?) & make those bestial yips of terror that mock the rest of humanity. And what did my ass ever do to you I ask? What’s up? Bored with the whole ‘second fiddle to Seanachai’ lot life has bestowed upon you (you know the pair of you remind me of Baldric & Blackadder now that I think of it… first series obviously) ? Bloody hell my fecking eye is pissing me off, I just want to scratch it or tear it out or sumfink… now where was I… taunt… taunt… taunt that was it. Fine here you go… you are the weird revolting yellowish goo at the bottom of my beer glass, you’re the hair in me Sausage roll, you’re what some drunken wastrel has brought up outside my fecking door (I believe it's a congealed pool of barely digested chips & mayonnaise for the record), you’re the rotten weather that freezes the brass monkeys off me and you’re the pisswater Canadian ‘beer’ leftover from my overpriced ‘world beer gift set’ … in short you’re everything wrong with my ‘holidays’. Now please, pretty, please with a cherry on top can I have the pleasure of grinding you into the dirt?

Perhaps we should just add a second to each year & then take one off again at some 'as yet to be determined' future date... so as to avoid confusion & all.

Well I’m back and my eye hurts like hell… No, no, no... not from reading up all the awful 'posts to the pool' I'd missed or wading through all the Christmas junk you lot have left in my inbox nor even from the sight of the most piss poor SSN’s yet encountered (Dear Peng one of ‘em was Lancashire as well… top Dorito place Lancashire is… still, wild horses couldn’t drag me back to the feckhole especially now I know an SSN like that inhabits the place)… no the reason is I’ve got a roight annoying case of pinkeye or sumfink. Which makes this the second childhood infection that I’ve picked up this year… I expect the Measles any time soon… Measles and turns actually. Why I expect turns from you lot I’ll never know

On an alternative note... I'd have called this thread 'Peng challenged to eat soup with a knife but can he touch it with a bargepole?' ... but then you'd all have just closed it so now it's called... this

It's been sent for at least an half hour... so Sod you

Sigh… Peng da rap You Siree are the varooka on me big toe, who fills me world with woe, You are the dumb in dumbass (and the ass as well), If you wanted to get by I wouldn’t let you pass, I’d just act real ‘ard & give you lot’s of sass. You Siree are the tool in me box, I’m a real cool fox, You’re the fool in damned fool (and you’re damned as well), If da Jus came ‘ere now & gave us a nu one of his rule… s, I’d hope it was ‘No more Peng & no more mules’. Cos you Peng is a mule Cos You Peng is a mule Cos You Peng is a mule… and I donna mean that in no drug smuggling sense! You Siree are the itchy thing on me botty, I’m a real nice piece of top Totty, You are the idiot in bleedin idjit (and don’t we wish you were really bleedin as well), You da guy who need’s a kick in da butt, I hope that your yearly bonus is a pay cut. Cos you Peng is a nut Cos you Peng is a nut Cos you Peng is a nut… and I donna mean that in no botanical sense

Err no you fricking idiot I do not call that a bleedin challenge heck I don’t know how anyone can call that a challenge or even confuse it with a challenge … except you o’ course. That was merely a request for your location… I was checking for your presence*. Now that I do know you’re here I can challenge you in some confidence… O’ ridiculous lord & gloriously least worthy one of the worthless Olde ones I your blessed Messiah, whom you hunted down & blessed with your own words to save this thread (at least that’s how I recall it anyhows), call upon you to stand before me with clankety things & squelchy Nazi things & splodey things & do battle. For the Victor there will be a glorious AAR describing the honourable deeds of I & tut tutting at the nefarious play of thou… for the loser there will be a glorious AAR describing the honourable deeds of I & tut tutting at the nefarious play of thou. You are a tragic figure Peng… first this thread, which has nothing to do with you & which you’ve repeatedly disowned, is almost certain to outlast you… when they finally chuck your lifeless & alcohol pickled corpse into the sea people will still be here mindlessly challenging, mocking & desperately scrambling to that lofty rank of Knight. And now Mr ‘I hate Religion like a ****stick’ has actually become the spiritual centre of a Religion (Admittedly it’s a rather small religion at the moment but they often start small don’t they)… perhaps centuries from now people will be setting off suicide anti-matter bombs or crashing asteroids into planets all in your name… glory! As I say you’re a tragic figure, now let me make your life more tragic by whupping your damned hide two shades darker and sending you off to Seanachai's shandy store to 'numb the pain' * I was tempted to write presents... with it being christmas & all [ December 19, 2005, 05:04 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Boo's broke his computer (no doubt in childish rage as my armoured fist of deranged Valentines tears up his Panzers) and I now need another game or two to replace the fecker... Where is thou noblest biatch Peng?

A mad ‘un ARR: A Messianic production Sir 37mm, Leading light of the house of JD Morse Vs Jiggly Gungun of the House of Pawnbrokers So, roight like, Me & Jiggly were right up for an old ding dong bruiser Top dorito style. Jiggly chose the old parameters & I ended up facing a Kraut attack on me Tommy village… sorted! I picked me’self a company of top geezers, a ‘top dog for Xmas’ Valentine (the old 6pounder will surely sort those krauts up like) & some bruising support weapons (3”’ers mostly as well as the obligatory Vickers). I set it all up tactically like taking into account **** like terrain & stuff… It was a proper well ard defence if I say so me’self… which I do like. It was especially ‘ard for anyone who’d attack me from right flank. Which was a shame as Jiggly’s blokes started popping up on me left flank crossing from cover to cover like… all careful like. He was being subtle cos me Vickers kept on busting up his troops all good & proper like. They’d spot one of his geezers & start going BBBBBRRRRRRUUUUUUBBBBBBRRRRRUUUUUBBBBRRRRUUU And his geezers would start tasting dirt to avoid that **** Still my fire must’ve got im all shirty or sumfink cos he then started bring up these half track thingys with a 75mm gun… now there was nothing more that I wanted to do than send those daft buggars straight to hell with me 6pounder & me Valentine but I got thinking right… using the old ‘grey matter’ like. What if he knock’s me big guns out yet still has better stuff still to come like, I thought to myself? So I held me fire waiting for an opportune moment to strike… my mortars had a go at busting his halftracks up but failed abysmally. What my mortars & mortar FO’s did do well was dropping lots of HE **** on iiggly’s geezers. It was a load of fun watching his troops flee & go to ground all the time… them & the Vickers must’ve held Jiggly up for 20 minutes on their bleedin own. I believed I saw an ‘opportunity to strike’ with me valentine & bag a couple of his bleedin half tracks… It weren’t a proper opportunity though & my daft sod ended up getting the ****e kicked out of him by a couple of 75mm HC rounds, if I ain't none too mistaken. Worse old Jiggly’s geezers were getting closer to the old 'restrictd areas' like, which proved to be rather problematic for me Vickers… it seemed to take Jiggly another 10 minutes but he eventually knocked ‘em both out & then he started dishing out the same ****e to me ratted out 3”ers (again Jiggly seemed to be in no particular rush to finish em off). So’s it finally came clear to old Jiggly that he had to like get somewhere with this attacking lark like & yet his clock was running out (and it wasn’t like he’d been mean with the parameters, 45+ turns is usually enough for any battle me old granny used to say & she knew a thing or two about battles she did… them & whoaring but that’s another tale). So it suddenly dawned on ‘im that he had to give up on this ‘cautious’ lark right when it bleedin’ mattered most… when the old ding dong gets up close & personal like. Short of it is that one of his assaults (on me left most flag… a proper 300 one defended initially by one platoon which was then reinforced to two platoons) led to the loss of an half track, a shocked PzIV (which was lucky to survive), several slaughtered squads/HQ’s with the rest of his shattered blokes ending up hundreds of meters from his objective… luckily for 'im this was enough to contest me flag! The other one of his assaults also lost a half track but proved far more successful mostly on account of it being set up to defeat an attack from my right. The final few radio messages from me defenders are quite revealing… LIEUTENANT: “We’re in quite the pickle… requesting aid & support” (3minutes later) SERGEANT: “we’re in a roight ruddy mess here … some help from the rest of you buggars wouldn’t be amiss” My platoon was wiped out, the objective lost & only Jiggly’s lack of balls coupled with the endless hail of pistol shot’s (those crews weren’t pleased with the loss of their mortars) meant I got to claim another smaller one on me right. A minor defeat but it was the flags I tell ya

Someone needs to restart the thread or else the forum will collapse... i'd do it but you'd lot would only close it again

*peers at the rather odd fellow known as 'Speedy'* That's... mould, not hair... hair tends not to be green