Yeknodathon

Quire and sponsor go duck hunting. Idjit Yeknod

If you expect to pull this off, you should perhaps spell my name correctly: Steve Grammont Other than that, I think you could likely confuse people into believing that I actually spoke to you upon occasion (once again, against the advice of others!). Steve P.S. Elvis, no... the game is not done. I just needed a break from German TO&E work. Nothing better for that than some mindless postings on the 'ol BBS. But now, I see that I must get on with it. Reading this thread has reminded me why I shouldn't pay attention to this BBS even IF I have all the time in the world </font>

Lord Shiva got a slap on the konk by a wee little mortal 251/9 and backed its butt into some pines to shiver and sob. I shall name me halftrack... God-slayer. Yeknod

This spirit of generosity was helped by the fact that my rout of Noba is in its final 60 seconds of pain, and that Berli will shortly accept my offer of a ceasefire if he knows what's good for him. I was therefore going to be able to put some serious thought (viz, more than "pointy-pointy clicky-clicky oooh-shiny-Go-button") into that all-important question of "rush Sledge's guns or just enjoy the madness in the woods". But if you're going to get all picky about it...</font>

NONE of us can tell you from a gecko - possibly because you ARE one of those little sticky-toed buggers.</font>

That's NOWT, as in "There's nowt like GETTING A FECKIN' TURN FROM YEKNOD to dampen the blood lust". Get it right or we'll take away your Fake Northerner License, with its attendant stipend of Nukey Brown.</font>

Oh, and this is a bit rich. Where is the quire? Have you lost two? Bit unfortunate. See, my Liege gives me quests and sits back in comfort as I slap a hapless, quireless Kannigget about the MBT. I taunt and sing and swing me tail and challenge and just generally be AROUND to protect me Liege's person and posessions. Whereas, two... yes that is TWO of your lot do NOUT. Is this the slovenly, lazy example to follow? I DO NOT THINK SO. Do you not have any self-respect or thought for the SSNs, Surfs, Squires and Kanniggets who look to your example? Do you not hear the gossip among the stenographers? Me Liege is a paragon of graft and guideance. Even his perfectly timed boot, swift and shiny, commands me awe and respect as it slots easily into me quarters. And as yer toil at me posts... think on Joe that it is OGSF's SQUIRE that makes yer work and sweat. Come, laddie, chase me tail some more. Idjit Yeknod [ March 03, 2002, 07:01 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Ah, Joe, don't give up, your help to influence my posting habits must continue. I welcome it, in my peculiar way. Have I missed something? Your advice? I know nothing of the Code Duello and many other things, so even though a donkey is stubborn and slow to change its ways, wisdom is appreciated. As for the things that make me smile, well, Joe like my warped psychology, I cannot explain. Idjit Yeknod

*kick* *smack* Ah, that's settled me brain. Seany, with all me lurve troubles I thought it best to start up the Donkey Paddock Agony Aunt advice column for sad people with relationship problems, so as to offer measured and meaningful replies about their little issues... Now, one of me first letters strikes a resonant note. Its from a Miss Elizabeth Bennett, Longbourne House, Herts. She writes of a certain Mr Darcy: We are not on friendly terms, and it always gives me pain to meet him, but I have no reason for avoiding him but what I might proclaim to all the world; a sense of very great ill-usage, and most painful regrets at his being what he is Me reply: Dear Lizzie Oh, I know, I really do, just can't get away from these insufferable brutes... Bit of a drawl? Salt Lake City? Me advice: next time yer at the Meryton Dance, show a little ankle and inquire about real estate loans to draw the pillock over. Afer some initial chit-chat and suggestive fondling, a curt SOD OOOOORRRRFFF should end yer troubles. Should this fail, clasp the pillock's ears with both hands and lift knee to groin. Don't forget to remove bonnet before the head-butt. Oh, are yer using contraceptives? Auntie Yeknod Translation: don't bother, its literature [ March 03, 2002, 06:19 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Liege, Fine words, fine words. The spaniel, me Liege, well? The hamster? Spontaneous hemorrhaging or did it encounter the bicycle pump? Now, Liege, to matters. See, in me old quest I'm up page to 13 and er... well... as I scan the lines I hear Seany intoning, "Don't touch anything", and then me brain starts to shift. Liege, I can feel it oscillating inside me skull... Liege, it feels like it wants to come out. Now, me new quest: find the funniest thing posted by Joe. And its easy to find. Something was beginning to be just a bit amusing on page 11 - but to be honest, me Liege, this can be dismissed as novelty value. No, Liege, I can only imagine the funniest thing to be posted by Joe must be his personal details, posted in all sincerity. I mean, a Mortgage Banker living in Mormon Salt Lake City? Priceless. Idjit Yeknod

There's nothing premature about Seany. Develop a knack for waiting. Idjit Yeknod

Dark Lady, quite right, the thing being a stuffed ICS to wear on his head. Idjit Yeknod

Duck Oh, turn? And what exactly comes after 11? Another 11 or is it 13? Pillock. Yeknod [ March 01, 2002, 06:27 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Oh, well that's alright then. No klaxons triggered, just a premonition that there will be wire brushes and carbolic soap used aplenty on the morning after. The questions is, who will gnaw their forelimb off first, in order to escape when the awful realization hits? My money's on the donkey, for I fear Joe has dentures. He still owes me a turn, though.</font>

See, Dark Lady, if yer scratch me lobes with long, caressing strokes, me hind quarters tremble with involuntary spasms... Eh? What did he say? "Tough love?" Oh, well I never... saucy Joe Oh, yes... I suppose the outward sterness hides an inner tumult of pent-up passions that gather and smash on the craggy rocks of Joe's unfrequented lust. Oh, Joe did I miss yer side-long glances, yer smacking tongue around yer dry and crusty lips, the gushing blushes and secret giggles? Speak now, don't hold back... embrace me, hold me close and nestle in me bosom... for it aches Joe, aches me sore. I need one of stature, of poise and sturdy gait to strut and prance outside me paddock, to shepherd the Nobbits and feed the Duck and attend to me needs, as they rise. Joe... a coupling, matrimony, a union: me the sophisticate, you the noble worker. Perfect, perfect... okay, bit of bother with the translations.... I'll just point and shout slowly. Idjit Yeknod [ March 01, 2002, 03:57 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Joe, I think you misunderstood my response. I understood Yeknod. That was actually a hint for you to find out what your new quire has been up to. I just didn't want to be blunt about it. Persephone</font>

Intravenous ProDuckz is me choice... Me muse whispers, I cannot resist: Yeknod's Skulking Song Skulkinnnnnng, skuuuuuuuulking! Amid the forests we dip and peep To stoop around in joyous creep And in the glade me prize is found... Thistles.... firm and round. Skulkiiiiiiiiing, skuuuuuuuuuulllllking! Behind the ridge and through the fog We sneak to hide and crawl to mock And when the sneak is snorked no more Thistles.... up grog Joe Shaw Idjit Yeknod</font>

Intravenous ProDuckz is me choice... Me muse whispers, I cannot resist: Yeknod's Skulking Song Skulkinnnnnng, skuuuuuuuulking! Amid the forests we dip and peep To stoop around in joyous creep And in the glade me prize is found... Thistles.... firm and round. Skulkiiiiiiiiing, skuuuuuuuuuulllllking! Behind the ridge and through the fog We sneak to hide and crawl to mock And when the sneak is snorked no more Thistles.... up grog Joe Shaw Idjit Yeknod

Justicar, where's the Justicar? Discipline for the quire and his, er.. ahem sponsor... oh dear, oh deary me... erm... he sure picks 'em. ICS for second quire. Translation: BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA....bwabwbwbwabwahaaaahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa, eeyaw, eeeeeeeeeyaaaaawww *honk* *honk*

Dreadful news. Spike Milligan has died and this donkey will mourn. Bless him, he'll be sorely missed. What do we do now?... What do we do now?... What do we do now? Yeknod

True. However, with all the empirical evidence you so kindly provide, it is the most logical theory</font>

My guess it's something to do with curry, though I've no methodology to back this up. Idjit Yeknod

So much for mastering the preview button, eh? In other news, after I graciously offered him the chance of revenging his hideous defeat - to the tune of 94-6 - AGAINST THE FRENCH - and there's no better way to enter the pool, say I - although it's not quite up there with Berli's supreme achievement of a 1-99 loss as a Champion of the MBT - are you fed up with these subclauses yet? - anyway, Yeknod is now bleating - yes, bleating - one farmyard animal is much the same as another in spite of what Mace's STD clinic claims - about how I CHANGED FILENAMES ON HIM. Yes, I did. I admit it. Sic The Lawyer <font size=-2>tm</font> on me. But my eyes, sweet Jesus, MY EYES. Just how many unique characters do you need to identify another 60 seconds of watching your little donkey-led troops getting pounded into oblivion once again by the forces of liberty, fraternity, equality, and really great coffee? I gave up. I did. I gave up counting after 20 characters. Because that would have required taking my shoes off, and I need them to kick the flea-bitten old nag when he's down.</font>

OGSF Liege, me quest. See, can we negotiate? Its page 8, me Liege... and... and... and... there's quite a lot more to go. Liege, purrrrrrleeeeeeeaaaaaaassssse. Idjit Yeknod [ February 26, 2002, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]