Yeknodathon

Liege, I aim to please Liege, I knew that as a Scot yer appreciate the hopeless, futile struggles of obstinate, unsocial, gritty, overwhelmed and under-resourced fighters on the field of honour. Needless to say, me Leige, Idjit Yeknod will put the "D" back into Doom. Idjit Yeknod

No, not quite right. It's Idjit Yeknod not Yeknod Idjit... no Chinese ancestory here... the Idjit prefix prepares the mind for the sublime word pattern and sounds of the the Yeknod, the one complementing the other, like the slither of moist vegetables and crunchiness of deep-fried batter balls... bit like a Chinese meal... or the thwack of a carpenter's hammer on his thumb.... again. Idjit Yeknod [ February 01, 2002, 03:07 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Right, sunshine! If I was in the habit of buying christmas cards and sending them to cesspooler SSNs, Serfs and other lowly lifeforms to wish them a 'festering' season, I would have you crossed off the list vigorously and with some intent! BaaaaAAAAAAAaaaastard! Mace</font>

OGSF Liege, battle reports: PondDuck, FECKIN, SODDIN MAP... I will not elaborate further, the experience is excruciating Gopher, FECKIN SODDIN MAP... Liege, I have entered another spiritual plane beyond the mere humdrum of winning... the sulphur-smelling rodent poses an existential dilemna, but we are free me Liege, damn it free... me forces are ruminating on grass as I write Gates-slut, FECKIN, SODDIN MAP... Liege, the hoary hand of time is tipping the scales between jubilation or utter desolation... you know what's going to happen. Nobbit, FECKIN, SODDIN NOBBIT... no contact, just what we want. Marine-buoy, FECKIN, SODDIN MAP, MARINE ARTILLERY AND FECKIN PIXIES... yes me Liege, not content with employing, gamey bastiche naval artillery the snorkel-bottomfeeder refused to follow an armistice when the pixies crossed the front line... I have the moral victory and the knowledge of the Shoooooooooei helmet and the pleasure that the Eagles were thrashed... Marine-buoy, I hate you.... Idjit Yeknod [ January 31, 2002, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

.... ahem, testing, testing... [ January 31, 2002, 05:16 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

What's all this balderdash? Is that the best you can do? I think not! In any case, PondScum has dropped the ball and Noba hasn't replied, so you're up. At least you have big ears. Just know that when our battle is over they'll belong to Seanachai.</font>

Do I sense a Squire-type quest here? "A Donkey's Search For His Marbles". What say the assorted kniggets? If I must be <font size=-1>French</font>, then surely Yeknodathon must spend many battles searching for his conkers. And where might he have carelessly lost them, that he must endlessly revisit and search? Somewhere very dark, maybe. Maybe even dark and foggy. And of course, it is barely worth mentioning that Sledge59's quest must be out in the snowy hills. </font>

Seanachai, no triptych, but I did find a sculpture (that I believe is by one of the great Dutch Masters) of Christ with a dog. I guess you have no choice but to trust this deity. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't think they had frisbees back then. Persephone</font>

Out-freakin'-standing idea! Another fine idea from the Olde Firm</font>

Duck of Death, Look PondDuck, what does that flag mean, eh? The NICE BIG FREAKIN RED ONE. ITS BEEN THERE QUITE A WHILE. Now, get yer paddling arse over there and we'll have a rumble. Oh, I don't hear an apology for OGSF. SAY IT. Idjit Yeknod [ January 31, 2002, 12:42 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

OK. Cop this then! Mace PS, This is what is referred to as psychological warfare. Basically it's also called playing with your mind - well it would be if you had one.</font>

...oh, gawd, are you the Lesser-Spotted Nobbit or just a Lesser-Nobbit? No, I would say they aren't exactly Nongs - just vacant, cranium-challenged, optimistic innocents that scamper around saying optimistic, cranium-challenged sorts of things... consider backward, pesky ankle-biters... usually roam around in groups 'cause Nostrilasia is a big place and they're small 'un dim and get lost easily. Annoying thing is, they get lost in other people's places, like the paddock, rather than getting lost in a continent's interior, where they should be. Like to sing about them, too, cause it confuses 'em, and it makes me particularly irritable. There's nothing more irritating than a cheerful Nobbit. Go away. Yeknod [ January 30, 2002, 05:44 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

(note in paddock log book BodgedInBehind: as idiots go, this one just about gets to a middling tedium. Domesticile: Albupukey. Profession: bodging.) BodgedInBehind, yer don't sound like a Nobbit but I'm suspicious that you have the mental capacity of a Nobbit... to wit, feck all. Keep 'ammering yer thumb, the pain will come later. Yeknod [ January 30, 2002, 03:04 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

PondDuck retract that slur on me Liege. Yer a cretinous ball of paddling idiocy. I have endured this pathetic charade of this damned village long enough - honour will be settled on a proper map with proper hills and propper FOs that can hide and sneak and crawl around in a proper, normal fashion. PondDuck, me estimation of yer being Non-Nobbit is diminishing rapidly... yer, now classified as a Water-Nobbit on account of yer paddling... and Nobbits deserve a fart... I shall pluck you from your element for preparation of an orange kind... stuffed and mounted, you hear me? Stuffed and mounted PondDuck, to battle ON A FECKIN PROPER MAP Yeknod

Ye wretched wee gerbil scrotum snagged on a rusty nail! Hoo dare ye e'en menshun mah stankin' name ain' tha same braith as tha wun comin' oot yer colostomy challainged pustule o' a body! WHERE'S MAH FESTERIN' SQUIRE??! Ah thought ye were cod-slappin' thas duck waddlin' methane clood? *BOOT* An' noo tha glistenin' smear o' ferret snot ha' tha temerity tae bae menshunin' ye Leige's verrrry name ain wun o' hais knuckle draggin' posts! An' wha are ye dwin aboot at? *BOOT* Ah expaict tae bae seein' sum *BOOT* battle rrreporrts tha put rrright thas slight upon mah honour! *BOOT* (Tha' ha' a neece ring tae at, eh?) *BOOT* As fer bein' "conspicous bah hais absence"...*BOOT* *THWACK*...at's nae oop tae ye tae bae commentin' orn tha comin's an' gwin's o' a Kanniget....aspushly ye ain Leige!! *BOOT* *THWACK* Noo gwin on wi' ye, ye scallywag an' bitch slap tha Pondmuck fer mae *tousle* *tousle* SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy</font>

Seanachi As a mark of me growing respect for yer and all the officials in the Pool, including Justicar, bailiffs etc etc, I offer a change of name to Idjit Yeknod. I think we can all agree that Idjit Yeknod slips off the tongue nicely and cunjures up image of dishonest, mercenary endeavour in some E. European backwater. Seanachi, I may have me little depressive-shizoid/paranoid bouts interspersed with the odd delusion of grandeur but in those few, rare moments when I catch up with reality and before me ego collapses back into despair I can babble me new name Idjit Yeknod to retain just a few more slithers of normal living. Now, there is an issue of... me, ahem, ... me "conkers". Now, this is a bit delicate... Question: is it really for the good of the Pool to have a hormone-crazed donkey rampaging through the ssns, serfs, squires, kniggets et al to satisfy...? I don't think so. With the greatest humility and forelock-tugging I'd like 'em back. Don't care if they're in formaldahide, pickled or perched on top of a trifle. Anything to stop these roller-coaster feelings for Hanns. Yeknod [ January 30, 2002, 02:45 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Dear BedWiffySwine On account of me raging hormones brought on by being recently testicularly challenged I cannot quite get to grips as to whether this is a challenge or a proposal for a closer rendezvous... please clarify yer intents, and if its the latter bring some ketchup... or bovril. Don't be coy, we're very Swedish down in the paddock. Yeknod

Marine-buoy Granted: your frog troops can out-sprint me artillery.... but they have ended up over here and not over there while I'm over here with them... will take pleasure in driving your amphibian, wet-suited sailor boys back over there... Oh, and that OTHER Marine Hetzer... prove to me that can move as well... The success? Why I think that might have been when Hetzer 1 took one up the khazi in.... er no, no, when the best part of a platoon got herded into a shack and then dropped on by something big and depressing... for future reference, this sort of thing is called a "donkey". Yeknod

Dear Gates-slut Can appreciate the shock of seeing unusual amounts of (sic) movement in the last turn but 2x days is ample enough time to stop frothing at the mouth and return a file... haste, haste, haste Gates-slut, I won't have dawdling. Regards Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: Sledge59! As you love the gods, my ladies, and me, offer this encrusted barnacle a challenge! Let us see what stuff he's made of.<hr></blockquote> Ahem, er, Seanachai since being an Olde One and therefore an expert in the the Olde Ways and since OGSF is conspicuous by his absence... and since I've gone a bit, well, er "broody" of late I thought I might ask for some guideance... in public so that the opportunity is there for others to er, well, give correction too... and I'll drop the donkey act just to take a sounding to see whether I'm on the straight and narrow... and if I'm not? Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaarrgh!! Well he's styled hisself cap'n for this voyage but thanks be that the British Navy isn't led by creatures of his ilk. For as Shaw skulked behind the petticoats of the 'Code Duello', Boney would be landing on a British shore. Just what were the Lords of the Admiralty thinking when they allowed Shaw to launch the ship on this commission. Methinks 'tis more like some geographical milestone was passed and by virtue of tradition the most lackwitted clown in the ships company appointed a fiction of a captain. This buffoon who brays for harsh punishment in messdeck courts martial yet scurries below at the first sight of a hostile sail should be hisself flogged around the fleet. The Code Duello pertains to the ordered settlement of disputes between gentlemen of honour not some lowerdecks dispute involving such as Shaw, who blights this ship by virtue of a rum soked press gang stumbling across a travelling fair and impressing tha bearded lady amidst the other freaks. Shaw is no gentleman, never was, never will be. His dodging and weaving marks him as no more than a blackhearted poltroon. For his cowardice he should be forced to run the gauntlet of his shipmates in which each one should bludgeon him in turn. This talk of the French turns the stomache, no suprise they are pondscum.<hr></blockquote> Ahoy, matey Quarrantine period done? Immigration control over in Nostrilasia SOD OOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRFFF Much, much better Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: Not only that, but on good days (i.e. when the drugs kick in) I can also remember that I am not called Berli, and hence "yak_berli_18.txt" is the wrong file, you great Nobbit-like pillock <hr></blockquote> Oh, are you sure? Just that one thing seems to merge into another these days and there isn't much difference between a Duck and Gopher. Besides, THE BLEEDIN MAP COMES FROM THE SAME, GAMEY, THERE-ISN'T-ENOUGH-ROOM-TO-SCRATCH-A-FLEA-LET-ALONE-CONDUCT-A-FLANKING-ATTACK ORIGIN... that felt much better for a while, not that anyone heard. Berli, got PondDuck's file? Oh, and while we're we on the subject, lets just take a rain check on Yeknod_v_Berli. Now, what a delightful, little strip of something we have here. Yes folks, about as wide as a gnat's bottom the vista comprises of two pits, left and right, seperated by the only route of advance along a wooded ridge running towards Berli. Holes and ridge covered by whopping, massive fortresses AT THE GOPHERS END. Oh, and the sulphur, smelling rodent is hiding too. Now, call me a bit thick, call me stupid... but it don't take a Nobbit to figure out that this envites a bit of a slapping... a donkey shoot, no less. Ha, well, Gopher-Guts, IN YER DREAMS. Much better Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: Now if it could return a fecking turn we could get even more bored in SollieVille, where I think we were about to knock a house down, comrade <hr></blockquote> PondDuck In fact, thinking about this a bit more, your desire to want another turn suggests the qualities of doggedness, determination and persistence in the face of this unending tide of tedium... PondDuck, I mean you actually want more of this? Look, a bit of advice, just give up and embrace the gloom,, no one will mind in the slightest... or for that matter notice Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: Now if it could return a fecking turn we could get even more bored in SollieVille, where I think we were about to knock a house down, comrade <hr></blockquote> Bugger, bugger, bugger... you remembered... Well, I suppose it was marginally more interesting last turn... I was hoping there would be something in that building to see... and there wasn't... we could do the same to all of them to see if there are things inside other buildings... I mean, if you want, I could put some of me blasted gay troopers in a building, just to create some variety, and then if we agree to target the same trp we would only have to wait 6 or 7 turns to see something happen... thats if the AI doesn't make them retreat, which would be likely. And then we'd have to start again... infact, thinking about it, I'm almost getting excited about seeing a Sherman moving through the streets... but with all this artillery around I sure it wouldn't be moving for long. Heck, it aint even MARINE artillery. I bet you feeling really glad you're playing me... well that's alright, don't thank me, no one does, Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Hah! Didn't expect THAT did you! Now we are back to a proper Joe Shaw hosted THREAD ... AND BY GAWD THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT! ... enjoy. Joe<hr></blockquote> (as more rain lashes down on the paddock to herald another fun-packed, eventful week, something can be seen running around making Foreign Noises and, every now and then, taking a short, half-hearted hop into the air, ears akimbo) rat-a-tat-a-tat-a-tat, Скюм ди, скюм ди, Comrades, Т выровняй схо простой процент Yeknod