Yeknodathon

Liege, I only know one way to be thrashed, donkey-style... Oooh, oooh, a quest, a quest, I want I a nice quest, a tasty quest... oooh, with virgins and propellant and great vats of ketchup..... pleaaaaaaaaase, pleaaaaaaase Yes, YES its virgins, virgins ... ooooooh, yes, gimme the quest, gimme the quest Virgins? virgins... right, yes, I know that bit, where are they... over here? Leige, 'nuf said, get the drift, off I go... Eh? The what? haim? Errrrr, bugger, bleedin useless dialect... ahhhhh, right ancestral claim to lots of virgins, why, Liege, flattered you should want to share, no really I am, ... oh, there's more? Eh? No virgins? Bugger, bugger, bugger... oh, that's all just dandy... oh, great, bleedin hell, just picture it now: Yeknod the feckin vagrant Nomad... fantastic, well me Liege, what can I say... lets get a grip here: a life-time of trawling through the pool, meeting every Olde One, Kniggets and their clumsey, wretched, retarded squires and (this bit I like) summing up enough energy and social skills to WANT to enquire about a bleeding Cesspool leek... WHAT AM A, LIEGE, A BLEEDIN PLUMBER? Sorry, Liege, sorry, its just the shock. Oh, and to cap it all, a jolly bit of water-song singalong at the end. Great, marvelous... mark me words, Liege, its going to be a Leonard Cohen special... no, no why not stop there? Bring on synchronised swimmers, add the odd trans-Atlantic tanker... ooooooooooh, I see... Marine-buoy right, that's it, this really takes the water-biscuit... I just DO NOT believe this, right, okay, okay... I'll need to pack equipment... look, Liege, want to reconsider? I mean I DON'T FECKIN FLOAT.. oh, gawd almighty, just typical, I have the looks, the charm and what do I get, eh? Mr Urinal Utility Inspection Donkey AND I BLEEDIN SING... Idjit Yeknod

Dear Hanns Yes, the video of that magical evening is greatly anticipated at the paddock. Granted, a one-night stand, wham-bam-thank-you-Ubergnome encounter has, well lets be honest, appeal only to certain connoissieurs... I await with interest the scences concerning the employment of the catapult. Seeing half a ton of prime donkey hurtling towards the little fella in one massive, cataclysmic embrace is, well, interesting for the physics alone. Obviously, such an incident has if after effects. Me twinges are much diminished and Seany has got a bit grumpy (I detect a relationship between his emotional state and length of posts).. but no matter, its only a lover's tiff... what we must all understand, as I told him at the time, I'm not ready for a full time-commitment just now... the odd little dabble here and there, but moving the paddock over to Minnasota, re-decorating the rooms, is just going a bit too far... I think he's taken it a bit personally... Idjit Yeknod

Wouldn't dream of it. I prefer them ignorant. Johan</font>

Wouldn't dream of it. I prefer them ignorant. Johan</font>

Let's see now, "Challenges, Dying-A-Lot For The Purpose Of". Ah yes, here we go, "Rules". "Part-the-first: SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR". Hmmm. Guess that doesn't apply to you ever since the little snip, eh Mule-boy? Still, maybe you can fake it (does Seanachai realise that you fake it? No, wait, don't answer that...). "Sub-clause J, Section 6: MAKE IT MEMORABLE". Well, you know my French waiters can never resist compliments of their powder-blue fashion sense. You damnable sweet-talker, you. "The Most Important Bit: SOD OFF NOW". Failed. You're still here. Minus ears and 'nads, mind, but mostly still here, polluting the atmosphere. Now, two out of three might not be bad for Mr Loaf, but here in the pool standards are a little... lower. So your 1.5-out-of-3 could just about cut it. Sadly, the burdens of my Squirely Quest impose such a psychic pain that I can't bear to contemplate starting TWO new games as the Frenchies in one night. And the Nobbit gets first pick after that little, ahem, <font size=-2>password incident</font>. And as for Freiherr Goanna, Rittmeister von Oz und Überlizard, don't think I didn't notice that you cunningly STOLE the description of you that I gave to the police, viz a sun-crazed lizard with the morals of a flamethrower team. Since the Law is apparently Asleep around here, I expect no monetary recompense, but when the long noose of the animal-control squad slips around your neck, you will know that Justice Is Done.</font>

Oh, my gawd, I'm so damned attractive. Persephone, I have to say you capture subtle nuances of the idjit, the nervous twitter, the confused, dormant stare. I salute the artist. More, more, we demand more. Idjit Yeknod

FIX, CONSPIRACY, I was mesmarised by the powder-blue bases underneath the Froggies... (so cute, and well, Frenchy), the Duck had supranatural help from the Gopher and they're both in cahoots worshiping the same idol... its unnatural and plain gamey... REMATCH, I demand a REMATCH... Idjit Yeknod

Milords and Ladies, I give you a creature that, when portrayed as a donkey, demures not. When abused, becomes more affectionate. When tasked with unnatural affections, merely exaggerates them. But when confronted with a foreigner who claims knowledge of his land and sporting teams, becomes deeply bothered and aggressive. But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations He remains an Englishman He remains an Englishman</font>

You really try to live up to the Idjit in your name don't you? I know quite a bit about Scunthorpe and if you are so unfamiliar with the English language that you can't see what team gets the boot in the original statement you can add "Really Big" in front of Idjit. And Swedes certainly seem to know how to run national sides wouldn't you agree? See you on June 2nd, loser. And if I ever start a team we'll call ourselves Dynamo Fjordsturmknacker FC so you won't get any royalties. Johan</font>

Eh? Oh, yeah, and what would a Swede know about Scunthorpe United, eh? Let me put these Gods past you: Ray Clemence, Kevin Keegan and Ian Botham. eh? Impressed? Better than Dynamo Fjordstumknacker FC. Idjit Yeknod

Dear Kriegsmarine ... might, might not... depends. Rams beat the Patriots and I hear a cheer for the Rams, in public, on this board, and I'll see what I can do. Failing that, a cheer for Scunthorpe United will do. Idjit Yeknod

Give me more of yer naval artillery... I can take it, give me yer best 18-inch shot, Marine-buoy. Yeknod

Thanks Jason V. interesting and thought provoking... puts lots of things into a different perspective Yeknod

Please, please... yes motorcycles, must have motorcycles, must have the BMW boxer-engined side-car outfits... please, please, nice BTS, please? Yeknod

Not to worry, Sire. He who brays a lot is all talk and no action. I've sent to him a torture rack fitted especially for the insubordinate pillock. His fate is sealed. Mark my words: This pitiful creature will beg for mercy before the battle is done. In order to open his files, he'll be forced to watch the worst all time episode of "Hee Haw" in its entirety, a pain worse than death! Your faithful Squire, Sledge</font>

PS, received a setup file from Seany's squire, BodgedInBehind... now, well, hey... all the merrier, I say. Want a piece of the action? No problem... I mean, I didn't know Minnesota was such a racey place... oh, what the heck, as long as there are orderly queues, and I'm in the mood... I just don't want domestic disputes spoiling things Idjit Yeknod

Dear Persephone After much pondering, and me growing twinges, and me excitement at Seany getting masterful... I'm in no hurry for me conkers. After a while one gets used to the phantom swaying and raging mood swings. And besides, what is a conker collection without these highly prized items? Exactly. No me real problem, Dark Lady is how do yer get an Ubergnome into position? I mean, do we use pulleys and ropes? Perhaps a makeshift catapult? Hmmm, no, me Lady, I need your help in a the choice of a non-slip step-ladder and relevant attire. This would be the cheapest option and should cause no harm to all parties if Seany removes all footwear. A firm purchase in these matters is essential... I wouldn't want him slipping at the wrong moment. I await a photo brochure for all future equipment, fixings and associated sundries Idjit Yeknod [ February 02, 2002, 10:55 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

the horror, the horror...exterminate the brute...</font>

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!</font>

Originally posted by Seanachai: Knackered, too? Accident with the woodchipper? Close encounter of the veterinary kind? Seanachai... I know how it feels, I really do, awful, just awful... look, there's nothing to be ashamed of - we'll form an encounter group to discuss in an open and frank way our toils and troubles... share ways to deal with twinges yes, do a spot of bonding. GA - Gonads Annoymous.... first meeting, Paddock 10:30 for 11:00. Bring yer own thistles. Idjit Yenkod [ February 02, 2002, 05:30 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Oh, Seanachai, yer have the same feelings for me? Awwwwww, thank you, yer know, when I first stumbled in here, me heart went all a flutter... and I heard little wedding bells in me lobes... can yer knit me something, as a token of our... ahem, shared longings? No, no, I shall offer me own verse... Idjit Yeknod

Yer mean just YOU and ME, together, alone? Seanachai may I share me feelings mano-a-burro... yer know, being like I am, knackered, I get me strange twinges... and did I ever say that me twinges move me, Seanachai move in ways that make feel closer to yer... Seanachai... and, and... dearest Seanachai me estimation of yer and the woodchipper is, well, exciting (wink)... Seanachai... oh, gawd, oh bleedin 'ell, I can't help meself. Idjit Yeknod

Be quiet! You haven't been here long enough to discuss Minnesotans. Go stand over there, in the dusty part of your paddock, and contemplate where 'glue' comes from.</font>

How about just plain Boy Idjit? I think we all will recognize your clever wit and lifestyle choice with that monicker.</font>

Haven't the intellect to stand upright or pass water? Beasts of burden? Does it rain a lot? Are they all miserable? hmmmmm, I fancy a holiday. Just getting a feel for the place... just make a note: remember to bring me buckets and stand upwind. Idjit Yeknod [ February 02, 2002, 03:42 AM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]