Yeknodathon

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis: It is said that in a truely infinite universe anything that can be imagined is happening somewhere. I hope I am living in the one that has the Eagles beating the Rams today.<hr></blockquote> Truely, where the craggy hand of fate tickles the soft, gopher under-belly of eternity, methinks that this inevitable defeat is reflected in other inevitable events... Marine-buoy, weep. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: This is helped by the fact that Donkeyboy appears to have no troops. None. Nada. Zilch. He does, however, have an FO who enjoys shelling random bits of town. As does mine. In the meantime, I own all three flags. I predict an AI-style end-game FO flag-rush, the spoils of which shall be a large town-sized heap of rubble, a drunken company of elite French waiters, and a few shell-blasted DNA fragments, tentatively identified as "bastard equine". (If I had a flamethrower, I could torch Donkey's paddock too, but I hear they're overpriced.) [Dalem lyrics deleted for the sake of humanity. Oh, the humanity]<hr></blockquote> Duck of Death ... oh, this one is priceless. Not only do I face a duck, experience the tedium of shelling a worthless village for no reason, command the most bizarre and worthless dregs of the Wehrmacht in their unpallatable clothing but I also have to summon enough energy to click the "go" button - Duck, you don't hold any flags... I'm there, creeping and hiding and sneaking... come n get me Duck, smell me presence. And for gawds sake, do NOT CHANGE YER TRP, IF I HAVE TO WATCH ANOTHER 60 SECONDS WITH NOTHING HAPPENING... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba: ....trotting past his window on the way to perv on the stenographers, he spys a new message in the innity box. What can it be ? Gasp ! The Ass has got off his Ass ! Oh lookie, he wants his head knocked off by me. I will oblige the feeble-witted-defecator. Now where could my Liege be ? Noba.<hr></blockquote> ... oh, fantastic, just what I always wanted... and some more... let me just make a note: a Duck, a Gopher, Elvis, Gates-slut and now a Nobbit... feckin marvelous... what a sad, sorry, pathetic lot you all are, total waste of bleedin time. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis: Dear Yeknodathon, The arty you are referring to is 105mm...hardlt battleship stuff. It is causing you so much trouble that I can understand your confusion. So far the game is progressing exactly as I had hoped and your head will soon be mounted on a pole alongg with the other slugs who have tried to parade that useless ****e of tactics that you are trotting out. Your flank attempt is coming at the worst place possible (for you) so it will only be a short time before you are begging me for mercy. Love, Elvis<hr></blockquote> "What next?" I ask meself. Underwater deep-sea frog-men marching through the woods? Torpedoes strapped to that rather stationery Hetzer (an improvement from its rocking, catatonic state over the last couple of turns) The odd merchant vessel crawling past the horizon? Capn Ahab chasing a white whale? 105mm? Yeh, right, more like 105 bleedin cm. 105mm of yer back-sliddin, off-shore, coastal fire-support variety, uh? Prove to me that Hetzer can move Marine-buoy. PS On no account disturb me flanks - Nobbit found out the hard way. Yeknod [ 01-27-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB: Soldier, Get back to the swamp ye cultist! Police! Police! One of them got loose! <hr></blockquote> Bugger, right, right okay...hmmmmm... er, got a question, right, ahem... yes, got to say that yer platoon hqs are serverely undermodeled.... er, ahem... yes, been doing tests, right... and no matter how many times I fire at yer Tigers, don't get a ko from a shot trap... please do somefink.... Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB: Soldiers, The cult of Peng can remain, as it is an essaintail part of the dutchy of CM, but it must remain under tight rule, never allowed to spiral out of control, and attract more poor souls into its bissare ritualistic cloutches. <hr></blockquote> ...spiral out of control? Like an Il-2 Sturmovik? Oh, dear, oh deary me, bad form,... bad Yeknod, stop it, stop it. Yeknod [ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: hehe There's a splinter in your donkey and it reads REACT.<hr></blockquote> (Sigh), true, very true, good point... sent a setup, against me better judgment... expect to hear the patter of tiny Nobbit feet in one direction or the other. Though spending 30 turns of eternally optimistic "geddaes" and strange vowel sounds ("I want to boil an eiiiiig") while having to imagine bronzed, athletic bodies surfing and being terminally happy is just bleedin awful... but I suppose someone has to suffer and while some like to do merry knitting or bouncing or paddling I get to suffer, not that I mind suffering, though a choice might be nice once in a while, or that I'm complaining... I mean what's the use of complaining? Doesn't change a jot. Could complain about Elvis and his over-use of unusually heavy artillery that would only be seen from major battleships of the line. I could point out that we are LAND-LOCKED and that THERE ISN'T A BLEEDIN SEAGULL IN SIGHT but would it change anything? Nothing. BTW, Sir Hiram noted with interest yer title... hmmmmmmmm Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Andrew Hedges: Nevertheless, perhaps on the theory that it's better to keep these people in one place, where you can keep an eye on them. <hr></blockquote> Yes, yes, with the virgins, please, more of the virgins, we want to know about the virgins again. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba: .....carefully parting the bushes, he places an eyeball into the gap. He sees...a paddock<hr></blockquote> ...and if Nobbits came in pairs, I wouldn't be surprised; one to get lost, the other to find the wretch... pathetic Yeknod [ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lord General MB: Soldier, In correct Sea-Na-CHI, I simply can't abide you, and your cult within a cult of worthless helloens....<hr></blockquote> ... worthless? Well, I should feel a bit better for that, but I don't. Though if a helloen is worthless, it can live we me and we can be worthless together... fun. Yeknod

Not a modeller (bits just stick to the wrong places) so want to cheer you ALL on... great to see so much skill and talent being offered! Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace: This one's for Seanachai: <font size = "+2"> Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi! Oi! Oi!!!</font> Mace [ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Mace ]<hr></blockquote> (falls in exasperated heap) ...oh gawd, ANOTHER Nobbit, does this one come from the East Nostril or the West Nostril? Excruciating. Yeknod

OGSF Liege, Burn's Night Poem from the Web TAE A FART O h whit a sleekit horrible beastie Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie Jist as ye sit doon among yer kin There sterts tae stir an enormous win' The neeps 'n' tatties 'n' mushy peas Stert workin' like a gentle breeze But soon the puddin' wi' the sauncie face Will hae ye blawin' a' ower the place Nae maiter whit the hell ye dae A'bodys gonnae hiv tae pay Even if ye try tae stifle It's like a bullet oot a rifle Hawd yer bum ticht tae the chair Tae try an' stop the leakin' air Shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek Prae tae God it disnae reek But aw yer efforts go assunder Oot it comes like a clap o' thunder Ricochets aroon the room Michty me a sonic boom God almichty it fairly reeks Hope a huvnae **** ma breeks Tae the bog a better scurry Aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry A'body roon aboot me chokin Wan or twa are nearly bokin A'll feel better for a while Cannae help but raise a smile Wis him! A shout wi' accusin glower Alas too late, he's jist keeled ower Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare A dinnae feel welcome ony mair Where e'er ye be let yer wind gang free Sounds like jist the job fur me Whit a fuss at Rabbie's party Ower the sake o' wan wee farty Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: Is there anything else I can do? Kick a few SSNs in the teeth or somefink? Figure out a way to draw and quarter Donkeydumb using hamsters?<hr></blockquote> ....figure? Bwabwabwabwabwabwabwabwa... one dressing short of a bleedin salad (note made in paddock log book: Heinz - pointless bouncing and tasteless table condiments) Yeknod [ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: I shall meet you in Sollies-Ville. It's a little Berlian monstrosity which I think you'll grow to hate. Note especially the "both sides must target their FO on one of their TRPs every turn" rule. Wouldn't want to leave any of those buildings standing, would we? I'll race you to your paddock in the middle of town. Watch out for craters. I am, of course, on the side of the garlic-chewers in this little stretch of hell. You shall take the forces of Prussian efficiency - don't worry, I'm sure you can make them HIDE and LOSE just as badly as the merkuns. PS Scunthorpe? No wonder you're depressed.<hr></blockquote> PondDuck This is a thoroughly nasty little map, a gopher's warren that does everything to encourage mindless moving... and to cap it all, I have to spend me time looking at colourful uniforms and odd stupid, shapes... gawd, all mighty... ...oh, and so its known to yer as well? Oh, great, fine, just load up a couple of Shermans too... oh, yes, got 'em too? Great, feckin marvelous... right, PondDuck - I hope you dream Scunthorpe, I hope you're posted to Scunthorpe, I hope Scunthorpe consumes yer soul yer feathered-up, blasted lump of paddling stupidity. Yeknod [ 01-24-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba: Dear Thistlesucker.<hr></blockquote> (stares glumly at the Nobbit, chewing slowly) <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now that it established the the Haggiss Head is your sponsor - I think it is worth your while to lift yourself out of your imagined depression and DO Somefink!<hr></blockquote> (gaze moves to fix on something minor in the middle distance) <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>How about getting some action? Some direction in your life ? Something worthwhile doing...like pulling your head out of your anus and sending a setup!<hr></blockquote> (with some discomfort, the chewing stops, and with not a little effort, something large and half-chewed gets swallowed) ....hmmmmmmmmm.... did something say something? <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>The local Vet can give you a rectal exam if you like to see how far it is stuck. I'm sure if he/she isn't available, there would be enough "animal lovers" in the 'pool to help you out.<hr></blockquote> (with a growing crescendo, a slow, ripe report echoes around the paddock causing a trot to the other side) hum-de-hum-de-hum-de-da Nobbit by name and Nobbit by art Nobbits and apples ferment a fart. Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CMplayer: Hannsel! I know you're awake. Get thine posterior off this forum, thine face out from between Gretel's whatevers and return to our current bataille. The antics of your troops amuse me.<hr></blockquote> ... please ketchup with 'im Heinz Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Wha a marvelous squire Ah have. Joe Ah'd play ye boot Ah cannae shut-oop long enough Shaw may ha' raised three rancid squires, but tha's dawdlin' pillock o' mine as a refreshin' breath o' stale air. Sae YuckyThuddadump, ye weepin' scab, arrrre ye smackin' tha lolly-gobble-bliss-bombs oot o' them filthy opponaints o' yours? Are ye cuttin' a swathe o' misery thru their varicose legions? Are ye dwin ye ol' Leige prood? Waill, are ye? SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote> Leige, nothing of importance... nothing, absolutely bleedin nothing... oh, no, me liege, I forgot (how could I?)... received a turn from Elvis... mind you, me liege, any hope of raised spirits drowned with receipt of yet another, sorry second, file named Elvis_v_Yeknod_Setup... oh, yes, liege, Gates-slut seems to have formed an attachment to one building and then proceeds to fall over... liege this is almost too dire to bare.... your tranquilizers, me liege? Yeknod [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by PondScum: Dear Donkey - may I call you Ass for short? Dear Ass, Thankyou, I would appreciate the loan of your favorite red crayon - yes, that one, the one with OGSF's toothmarks on it, at the bottom of your toybox. Since the sum total of your tactical acumen appears to be "walking in circles in a field", I'll just mark it on the map with a big red X and go back to drifting gently atop the cess. Language difficulties, don't you know. Goddam conscript French FO's can't understand "up 100 and fire for effect" to save their own lives. In fact, they can't even understand "STOP DROPPING SHELLS ON OUR OWN LINES YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE MAN" to save my life. But big red crayon marks on maps, those they understand. Expect a little... disturbance... to your thistles shortly.<hr></blockquote> (stops to think slowly) PondDuck... (gives up thinking) PondDuck... (tail twitches with growing feeling of complete futility) PondDuck... its not a Nobbit, though it sounds like a Nobbit... and the bloated, gorged carcass has a sort of detestable innocence... (thinks some more) ... do you MOVE a lot? I HATE things that MOVE a lot and you look like the sort that wants to MOVE, in fact me HATRED of little things that scurrry and scamper and MOVE, and then MOVE some more... yer a loathesome, MOVING thing and extinguishing yer loathesome MOVING existence could keep me awake, though I doubt it.... send a setup PondDuck, computer chooses Yeknod as Ameris 'cause they won and I like to seem them HIDING and LOSING and I want to see you MOVING around to find them so that I can HATE YOU MORE. Pathetic, theres nothing so pathetic as a moving thing, especially a moving Duck. Yeknod [ 01-24-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Let us suppose, for the moment, that I would accept your CLEARLY unacceptable challenge and your use of a "default" second (I can readily see why you'd resort to such a subterfuge ... it must be difficult finding anyone who would act for you ... perhaps an offer of cash for their assistance might help). The Byte Battle to which you refer ... WHICH Byte Battle is it? Because you see I've played MOST of them and the battle would, therefore, be unfair as it would not be a double blind battle in which both sides were unaware of the particulars. Furthermore, how am I to know that YOU have not "peeked" at the battle prior to commencement? I know, for example, that you are not only Air Force but worse ... that you live in North Dakota! Need I say more about your inherent trustworthiness ... I didn't think so. The value of the Code Duello, in this situation, is that it allows GENTLEMEN to do battle with some assurance that HONOR will be maintained. I'm afraid I simply must insist on the proper forms being adhered to. Joe<hr></blockquote> Dear Justaundercarriage ... I'm so excited I think my bowels have let go Chocks away Yeknod [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: 'The donkey' aye! (and yeah, I heard it was a choice between a sword and some fine grit sandpaper.<hr></blockquote> ...thistles, grass, lots of grass, the occasional apple when someone can find the time from their busy day to drop one, more grass.... and thistles... I suppose a SnowDrop MIGHT make a change... if it didn't move, which I'm sure it might if it could... does the SnowDrop need crayons? Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dalem: 'The donkey' aye! (and yeah, I heard it was a choice between a sword and some fine grit sandpaper.<hr></blockquote> (as the damp mists begin to shift to herald yet another uneventful day, new signs can be read at the paddock welcoming strangers) Nobbits and Veterinarys Go Away Plastic Gloves Verboten NO THERMOMETERS Yeknod

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Sergeant at Arms perhaps ... hmmm, that would mean that I'd actually have to learn how to spell Sergeant or look it up each time I sent Hanns out to brea ... uh inform a miscreant of his misdeeds. Suggestions lads? <hr></blockquote> ....spaghetti hoop short of a tomatoey snack? Yeknod [ 01-22-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

(circling the paddock with solemn, morose steps) hum-de-hum-de-hum-de-da Nobbit by name and Nobbit by nature, Nobbits are born in Nostrilasia (stopping to think) ...cacophony....hmmmm... cacophony.... suppose its a long word... (circling restarts at funereal pace) Yeknod [ 01-22-2002: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: Originally posted by yakfurball Listen here SSN, the club I work at already has a S&M donkey. Well, it's more of a pony and he gives rides to properly attired women. His mistress is one mean b*tch and that's meant in a good way. I heard something about him having his own corral to sleep in or somefink like it. All of which HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! It's humorous and all but I shall swat down your pityful brayings like the insignifigant horsefly (donkey, whatever) that you are. Maybe Germanboy (wink, wink) will take pity and find you a nice new adoptive home in an Amsterdam donkey show. Or maybe just send you off to the slaughterhouse. I vote for the second and would like to see the look on the face of the Frenchman who ends up with you on his plate. Perhaps noting the suckiness of your posts they would send you to the glue factory. Imagine the looks on the cherubic little faces of kindergardeners when they get a new tub of donkeyglue, end up eating it and develop Inane Donkey Rambling Syndrome. One can only hope. Hanns<hr></blockquote> Heinz, No, no, no what I meant by position was... oh, gawd, look, okay... (aside: bleedin' ell, get one that's one haricot bean short of a full can, tch)... Yeknod