Yeknodathon

I gave up reading that so instead I examined me body for something interesting. Guess what I found? A fungal disease. One can get very attached to a good fungal disease. Its a hobby of mine and this particular rash is very promising. I'll make an entry in me paddock book: CDPlayer: has never been to Scunthorpe Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Me mortars go plink, plink, plinkety plink. Me mortars go plink, plink, plinkety plunk. Me mortars go plink, plunk, plinkety plink And then me mortars hit somefink. Don't mind me, I'm not disturbing the calm? Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk [ April 11, 2002, 03:49 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Great idea! Why not extend the idea to "attach" infantry to walls to sort out the problem of unrealistic retreats? Yeknod

Its almost Kierkegaard from the land of Volvos. Damn it, more angst. Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Croda on a picnic: something the bear left behind. PhanChianChiChowPotBelliedPigYeknod

What we have here is a rather sneaky trip to Westminster, London to queue for the Queen Mum (sombre attire, reverential postures, lack of mirth, deathly gazes, and a tear in Berli's eye). The pub and, therefore, the beer are obviously real. I do hope that Seany-babe removed the head-dress before making his way past the catafalque. We wouldn’t want to think that he was deliberately trying to upset the Lifeguards during their vigil. A commotion at such a sensitive time in the vast open spaces of Westminster Hall would be very unseemly and have obvious diplomatic repercussions and our nice Mr Blair is trying extremely hard to be ever so nice in Texas, which I'm sure is a very difficult thing to do being that Texas isn't a good environment for nice things. Bit like Scunthorpe, though Scunthorpe is smaller and Texas is much larger. Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

A letter from the Federal Bureau of Missing and Destitute Quires: Dear Justicar http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=024327;p=2 Please find above evidence that the missing person Diceman (aka Mr Nibbles) is engaged in subversive campaign of selective, covert activity on the outerboards of the BTS public forum. We accept that the subject must feel at ease during our operations but we must point out that our agents were compromised while struggling to move in their latex rabbit rubber suits. There is only so much chaffing a man can take. We must point out that whoever is the Knight of this unruly Quire should be thoroughly ashamed of the blatant trollop-like appearance in the “other” place without even a “hello” or “sod off” among your hallowed dwellings. Is there no respect for authority? Are we to be consumed by radical elements in our midst who plot and wheedle their way into the very fabric of community to dissolve all that binds us together? We suggest an immediate and effective regime of schooling to bring this wayward miscreant into line and then we can begin to tackle the Quire’s obvious anti-social and delinquent behaviour. Yours truly, Agent X Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Yes, yes, more cows and with CMMOS we'd get the option to have different camo cows: Ayrshire Barzona Beefmaster Black Baldy Blonde d'Aquitaine Braford Brahman Brangus British White Brown Swiss Canadienne Charolais Chianina Corriente Danish Red Devon Dexter Dutch Belted Galloway Gelbvieh Guernsey Hereford Highland Holstein Jersey Limousin Lincoln Red Maine-Anjou Marchigiana Milking Shorthorn MRY Murray Grey Normande Norwegian Red Piedmont Pinzgauer Red Poll Red Sindhi Romagnola Salers Santa Gertrudis Shorthorn Simmental South Devon Sussex Tarentaise Texas Longhorn Watusi Welsh Black White Park ... and, and with the option to have different brands on their rumps Yeknod

Boop Turn 16, sixteen, XVI... SIXTEEEEEEEEEEN, 1-and-then-a-6, in between 15 and 17, SIXTEEN AND NOT FIFTEEN. Yeknod

What? I mean, WHAT??? You've been on holiday for the last two weeks, ya git, AND you owe me turns. Turns for two (2) separate games! So no more of your obfusticating! No more of your skittering off to enjoy yourself. No more of this "Ooh, Mummy, Mummy, I don't want scones for tea" kind of attitude. Post your turns now, lad or I'll make a mule of you!</font>

…. Oh the surprise. Liege, I try me utmost to win yer honour and reputation. I lurk and skulk and generally conduct meself with as much misery, pain and moaning as I can possibly muster. I get blown around the map by me betters, whinge, conduct foolish charges, whinge some more, ignite me own light buildings with zooks, stand underneath artillery barrages AFTER I’ve moved away from them, and then whinge some more. All for you, me Liege, all for you. So its is with dreadful loathing that I bring yer news of… I can barely say it, success. Liege, I know, THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS. I have a reputation to protect. Is there no justice? Is there no speck of decency here? I point the finger at MrPeng for it is he who has heaped this disgrace upon me. All was well: the ubiquitous light building was ignited by me own zooks, I dutifully shoved as many infantry underneath the artillery barrage, I made a mad and aimless armour dashes across the map presenting his AT assets with juicy flank-shots, I made an unsupported and hopeless infantry rush for a flag, I even self-destruct a TD on the last turn AND, Liege, I personally begged Peng to take a grip and act according to his station, but what do I receive? A minor allied victory, 59 / 40. Liege I protest. This is my first victory against a human opponent and, and, and is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE APOLOGY FROM PENG. Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk [ April 01, 2002, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

Oh, I’m back. I still feel the same so it really wasn’t worth going in the first place, not that anyone cares. Battle reports: PondScum I’m winning. Just wanted to lie to see what it felt like. I’m not winning, really. AussieJeff My TD 3 kills, his assorted Pz IVs and armoured cars 1 kill. I should be happy but I’m not. Noba is trying the same tactic that failed miserably at the start of the game. If it wasn’t for me blasted tank’s effort at mincing around aimlessly behind a building it could well be failing again. Bother. Boo_Radley – V1 Not much to report. No Julie Andrews songs Boo_Radley – V2 Not much to report. Lots of Julie Andrews songs. Just a point, Boo needs to be a little quicker with the turns. I hope his Liege is taking note. Diceman I cannot confirm or deny the quire’s existence. I’m sworn to secrecy… though the babbling incoherence contained in correspondence allegedly received in the paddock involves rather amusing rabbit motifs, general admissions to a vast array of immoral peccadilloes, sordid and quite unnecessary ranting and certain vague allusions as the well-being of a certain Justicar. It’s quite a task to convince the alleged correspondent that the Justicar is a product of his fevered imagination and that he should bow down to me, his Master. Oh… I have a surprise Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

And Squire too. In my thoughts, Hiram Yeknod

Dark Lady, *sniff* *sniff* always *sniff* at yer bidding... I trotted back as soon as I heard you and me Liege, swift and polished boot, enquiring as to me whereabouts. Me Lady, what could be sweeter, more perfect than the gossamer caress of yer fair song in one ear flecked with the gruff and savage guttural stabbings of me rough-hewn Liege in the other? *sniff* me emotions are all askew *sniff*... Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Oh, I've stared at this for a very long time and I've found that if I screw me eyes up as tight as tight can be I can just see the ears and carrot... It’s Spring you know. THINGS happen in Spring. Trees and bees and sap and green things that burst over the land in riot of colour and exuberant life. Things get frisky in Spring. Does it shamble around and honk? Not that it would matter very much if it could honk. And those stringy bits that drape across the vast expanse of exposed skin that barely contain its naked and yielding vulnerability would only get in the way. I don't like whiplash. Oh, I don't want to give the wrong impression... I just noticed the carrot and began thinking aloud, don't mind me. Everyone does. Just wanted to say life's so intolerable with broadband. "512k download rate", they said. "Don't suppose its going to work", I replied. "Yes, its very good. It works particularly well with Via Chipsets and flakey USB ports". "Oh", I said "does it come with thistles, will it make me life more bearable, can I send turns in a rapid torrent of hopeless despondency?" "Yes, it works perfectly with every known emailing software package man has designed. You'll never get relay delays and we charge extremely reasonable rates for our support services" "Oh, well I better have it then" Bother. It doesn't work. They lied. Well, it works now, but I don't feel better at all. And I sent lots of turns but no one wants to reply. Pathetic. I mean, I make this effort and look what happens. Misery piled on more misery. Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

I've come into the possession of another letter, forwarded by the Overseas Office for Abandoned and Stray Quires It reads: Dear Auntie Yeknod Must thank you for educating me in the Cesspool traditions. Who needs a Kanigget when I can rely on you for the all the advice I desperately seek? I know you have Joe's full confidence, though I've started to doubt whether the latex rabbit suit is really necessary. Still struggling with the vow of Trapist silence. I would have liked to have said something to Joe before departing for this rock but, as you said, we must avoid any unnecessary emotional displays. And, besides, I'm so lucky to stare at the Pacific Ocean all day. It really makes my life more interesting. Me reply: Dear Dicey Good work! Just a few more months before stage three. Remember, the rabbit suit MUST stay on. Joe will only accept you IF you can convince him that you are Mr Nibbles. Remember that you were doing so well with that burly law-enforcement official before he got unruly with his stun-gun. Just goes to show that saying, "Hi, I'm Mr Nibbles, do you want to see how high I can jump?" can bring out the worst in some people. Now, yes, life might be a bit lonesome on that bit of rock so I'm sending you a song from me Rogered and Hummerstunned tune-book: I got sunlight on the sand I got moonlight on the sea I got mangoes and bananas You can pick right off a tree I got volleyball and pingpong And a lot of dandy games What ain't I got? I ain't got gnomes! [Chorus] There is nothing like a gnome Nothing in the world There is nothing you can name That is anything like a gnome I feel restless, I feel blue I feel lonely and in brief I feel every kind of feeling But the feeling of relief I feel hungry as the Wolf felt When he met Red Riding Hood What don't I feel? I don't feel good! [Chorus] I dream of little people With a short and hairy frame I dream of rotund bellies That would burst my heart aflame I dream of hearing verse quote That will wash my soul from chore What will I hear? It ain't Joe Shaw [Chorus] So suppose a gnome ain't bright Or completely free from flaws Or as faithful as a bird dog But as kind as Santa Claus It's a waste of time to worry Over things that they have not Be thankful for - The things they got! [Chorus] Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Got the map. Thank you Goanna. I should be glad but I'm not. I stared at it for longer than I really wanted to and it didn't improve much and then I remembered Julie and had a violent twinge. Bother. So I turned the map around and noticed that if you look at it with the road running from the top to the bottom it looks like a crevice separating two firm buttocks. And then I remembered Julie again and imagined meself running hooves across the rough, thrusting hemispheres... I like Julie, so I'll sing a Julie song. I'd ask you all to join in but I won't bother. You won't understand my torment and you'd probably get it wrong and spoil everything. High on a hill was a lonely donkey Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay heehaw Loud was the voice of the lonely donkey Lay ee odl lay ee odl-honk honk Folks in a town that was quite remote heard Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay heeeeeyoooore Lusty and clear from the donkey's throat heard Lay ee odl lay ee odl-hook honk honk honk honk One little girl in a pale pink coat heard Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee eeeeyawwww She yodeled back to the lonely donkey Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo big boy Soon her Mama with a gleaming gloat heard Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay heehawwww What a duet for a girl and donkey Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk [ March 19, 2002, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

This is funny?</font>

"mono-dronal lurking" Er, yes, erm... four-year-old child did you say? Pogo-sticking through the English language? *snigger* *snigger* go on lad, got some more? Ho-hum, have to admit it is rather catchy. Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

Joe, Diceman is still with us though I'm censored from divulging any details relating to our correspondence. Were we playing a game? I cannot say. Indeed, even this confirmation of his existence could bring further wrath and condemnation upon me. Needless to say, the secrets of his wild partying and discreet interviews with the local Sheriff's office involving a sink plunger and a uniformed maid are, of course, beyond the scope of this thread, as is the rather bizarre activity with latex rabbit rubber suits. Idjit Yeknod

Hot Dingleberry pie! Just like the kind Grandma used to make, (That's why we had to put her in the home.)</font>

<big>SHUT UP!</big>. Shut Up! For the love of all that is Holy in the cess, shut that flapping trap you call a mouth and sod off to "buggerer's paradise." I (and the multitudinous others) cringe and skulk with each bleating confirmation of your lack-luster mono-drone existence. ssn's (and squires) of late are merely dingleberries upon the ass of life. They are too fond of their own voices. Excuse me while I drown my futile realizations of how useless ssn's are within the demon of malt liquor.</font>

I suppose you're one of those critics who stands on a soap box next to a Jackson Pollock painting making obscene gestures at anyone who disagrees with your narrow-minded interpretation of what the artist meant in the first place.... HMMMMM?</font>

Eh, what? Translation service? I do that, I do that. Let me have a go. Don't saw it orf for a whale. Translation: watch him struggle with this hahahahahahahahaaaa *gasp* bwabwabwabwabwa *honk* *honk* Idjit Yeknod Not even close, Laddie. I'll have you know that I minored in gibberish in high school. What he actually is attempting to say is, "If someone would please give me my car keys, I can go look for my pants ." It's either that or a coded message for help.</font>