imported_Hiram Sedai

Proposed AAR from future Fionn – Hiram Clash Simulated Fionn Voice I have just experienced the largest waste of time playing one of you. I started out with a passive-aggressive defense with multiple bases of fire and a chunky MLR. We all know that I could have used 25% of my forces to play this one and could still have achieved a Major Victory. But, owing to honour and tactical flavour, I decided to give it a go with Hiram. He is an annoying git who peppers his emails with polysyllabic euphemisms and repeatedly apologizes. How tiresome he is. Setup: I used my Supreme Tactical Brilliance to setup my forces to intimidate, penetrate, and repudiate any false claims that Russian Tactics are not the best. I knew that I need not scout because he will probably forget to actually hide his forces. I should be able to dismantle his paltry forces quickly and easily only using a small percentage of my cerebral magnificence. Turns 1-3: As predicted, I didn’t need to scout out Hiram’s forces. They are in plain sight and bunched together. Somehow, he is making them dance a jig to taunt me. Obviously, a withering display of artillery on my part will stop him from this foolishness. Turn 4: Hiram’s forces are scattered around the map seeking an exit from the pain and humiliation I have visited upon his unworthy hide. Turn 5: I have not used 97% of my forces thus far and see no need to use them. It would seem that Hiram’s forces have auto-surrendered. Summary: I am perplexed regarding how this person could possibly start losing during the setup. But, he has done it. I might play him again and allow him 200% forces to see if he has learned anything yet. I do hope that he isn’t totally brain dead. Tuum Materorum Servorum Graecorum est. [ June 06, 2002, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Proposed AAR from future Fionn – Hiram Clash Simulated Fionn Voice I have just experienced the largest waste of time playing one of you. I started out with a passive-aggressive defense with multiple bases of fire and a chunky MLR. We all know that I could have used 25% of my forces to play this one and could still have achieved a Major Victory. But, owing to honour and tactical flavour, I decided to give it a go with Hiram. He is an annoying git who peppers his emails with polysyllabic euphemisms and repeatedly apologizes. How tiresome he is. Setup: I used my Supreme Tactical Brilliance to setup my forces to intimidate, penetrate, and repudiate any false claims that Russian Tactics are not the best. I knew that I need not scout because he will probably forget to actually hide his forces. I should be able to dismantle his paltry forces quickly and easily only using a small percentage of my cerebral magnificence. Turns 1-3: As predicted, I didn’t need to scout out Hiram’s forces. They are in plain sight and bunched together. Somehow, he is making them dance a jig to taunt me. Obviously, a withering display of artillery on my part will stop him from this foolishness. Turn 4: Hiram’s forces are scattered around the map seeking an exit from the pain and humiliation I have visited upon his unworthy hide. Turn 5: I have not used 97% of my forces thus far and see no need to use them. It would seem that Hiram’s forces have auto-surrendered. Summary: I am perplexed regarding how this person could possibly start losing during the setup. But, he has done it. I might play him again and allow him 200% forces to see if he has learned anything yet. I do hope that he isn’t totally brain dead. Tuum Materorum Servorum Graecorum est. [ June 06, 2002, 09:07 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Mister Fionn Kelly, I hereby accept your challenge-response to my challenge request. Here are my parameters if we are to play. 1. No blarney stone will be harmed, rubbed, and/or kissed. 2. No references to Michael Flatly, River Dance, and Lord of the Dance. 3. I wish to play for the purpose of learning and winning. Since there is little chance of me winning, I shall attempt to learn. 4. Since I am currently playing an "All Infantry" QB against a Mister SlapDragon, I would kindly request a 1000 PT Assault, Combined Arms QB with regular forces. I'll continue my requests via email.

What? Whaddaya want?

What? Whaddaya want?

agreed *sounds of retching can be heard* How the hell can I only type seven words and still have to edit? It's because I'm still in awe of how my Tuesday is actually worse than my Monday was. Monday was a timid mouse compared to the beast that is today. HR already had a good talking to with me today. It seems that I insult too many of my people and use words that demean them. I didn't explain to them that I blame the Peng thread. I just did the cowtow thing and apologized for my carnal nature. How I abhor decent people.</font>

agreed *sounds of retching can be heard* How the hell can I only type seven words and still have to edit? It's because I'm still in awe of how my Tuesday is actually worse than my Monday was. Monday was a timid mouse compared to the beast that is today. HR already had a good talking to with me today. It seems that I insult too many of my people and use words that demean them. I didn't explain to them that I blame the Peng thread. I just did the cowtow thing and apologized for my carnal nature. How I abhor decent people.</font>

agreed *sounds of retching can be heard* How the hell can I only type seven words and still have to edit? It's because I'm still in awe of how my Tuesday is actually worse than my Monday was. Monday was a timid mouse compared to the beast that is today. HR already had a good talking to with me today. It seems that I insult too many of my people and use words that demean them. I didn't explain to them that I blame the Peng thread. I just did the cowtow thing and apologized for my carnal nature. How I abhor decent people. [ June 04, 2002, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

agreed *sounds of retching can be heard* How the hell can I only type seven words and still have to edit? It's because I'm still in awe of how my Tuesday is actually worse than my Monday was. Monday was a timid mouse compared to the beast that is today. HR already had a good talking to with me today. It seems that I insult too many of my people and use words that demean them. I didn't explain to them that I blame the Peng thread. I just did the cowtow thing and apologized for my carnal nature. How I abhor decent people. [ June 04, 2002, 12:57 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Call me a newbie: Chance Encounter - August 2000 Had to play it 9 times before I won as the Axis.

Congratulations, Matt!!

Congratulations, Matt!!

That would be useful. How do you do it?</font>

I already mentioned this, but you can change your own colors if you happen to be using Internet Explorer. No more pain.

Let's pretend my opinion matters for a moment here. It hurts my eyes. But, if isn't going to change, then I guess I'll cope. I can look forward to hours of reading posts while my eyes water. Oh happy. Let's see if IE 5.5 lets me provide my own colors for websites like this. Edited to note that I can change the colors in my browzer, so no biggie. [ May 30, 2002, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

I’m posting because I still can. Do I feel like it? Not really. Somehow, I feel an obligation to you band of “cesspoolers”. I’ve been busy, but I know that you’ve heard that before. There is no excuse for not returning a turn in a timely manner. Elvis reminds me of that constantly. Life happens to you, but still you must remember what is truly important. Return your PBEM turns. I am constantly reminded by my opponents that it is a privilege to play them and that I should lose gracefully. Some want me to lose quickly and thank them for the game. Others want to extract each and every whimper from me. They want to murderize all of my digital soldiers and then enslave them. Regarding news from the home front: My sister is doing quite well (considering) I tried to admonish her by saying that Combat Mission is all that matters in this existence and perhaps I should leave soon to process my turns. She rewarded me with a confused look. I get that look quite often. Enough about me. It has come to my attention that Panzerleader’s older brother has decided to visit us. Like Panzerleader, he railed against the ideology of the Peng thread and created some very clever threads in the outerboards. He now frolics among us and longs to be accepted. How so very special. You vermin refer to him as “The Capt” Did “The Capt” tell you about his bout with clamidia? I bet he was a bit tight lipped about that. Did he mention how his time in the Army was spent as a runner for the CO? Nope. He didn’t mention that either. I can bet that he wet himself the first time during NBC training and that they found his Judy Garland outfit during his first room inspection. (the heels gave him away) He is still fond of writing love letters though. I read the first one to MRPeng and it reminded me of when I was prepubescent. It made me want to shower incessantly. I used to send love letters. But,I sent them to a females of my species. It does sadden me. I thought this person had so much potential. But, he had to spoil it with a post laced with expletives and invectives. Mind you, I’m partial to the occasional invective and epithet, but cursing is so passé. I’ll end this post with a little bit of fun. (this is for both of you who actually read this far) “The Capt” (if that is your real name) You are a hot steaming pile of dung. Your sole purpose is life is to wait for people to step on you and for flies to feast upon you. Think back to the time when your existence started. You slid from the hindquarters of a moose and your feeble and pointless struggle began that day. Be proud of your stench and dark brown hue. Go ahead and be happy that you attract so many fans of the insect variety. They like you. In fact, they love you. They would clap with all six of their legs if they could. However, we aren’t so predisposed towards manure. We acknowledge that you have your role in nature. Some of us aren’t quite bright enough to understand what the consequences are of stepping in you. I see that some want to squire you. I can’t really fathom collecting a huge pile of steaming feces and bringing it home to befriend. But, this is the place where such things occur. Go figure. This is the home of the hermaphroditic poet and the nefarious evil guy who looks like Jim Ignitalski with a beard. You can’t surprise us. Try to be clever again. We might smirk. Maybe. Edited because try as I might, I cannot be Germanboy. I shall now commit Seppuku [ May 29, 2002, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Lorak, if you are still recording these things: I lost to Peng last night in a TCPIP match. He set it up. I had two zooks, two MG jeeps and a mortar. He had a half track with a gun thingy and a platoon of troopies. I held the flag until he brutally raped my digital troopies. He’s a gamey cheater. How I hate him. I’ll do the setup next time and give him a good fight. Next time, MaCloud!!

I might as well put a bullet in my brain if Panzerqueer actually likes the thread I created. I know I've made some mistakes in my life. That incident with that large lady on the balcony and that tub of butter. But, maybe I went one Peng thread too far. What, now? What's it all about, Alfie?

I owe turns to some of you. Don’t act surprised. I won’t inundate you with excuses. We know that CM should be first and foremost in our priorities. Just accept that I am a bad person who doesn’t return turns quickly. For a bit of contrast, consider playing someone like the Bard. Then, you will be grateful for my turn schedule. Hopefully, this incarnation of the Peng thread won’t have the nasty infestation of scum sucking, mouthbreathing outerboarders. Oh, how they made me itch. They scurried here and there when I flipped on the light. I only wanted some milk from the fridge. I hate the sound they make when I step on them by mistake. Some think they are clever and write love letters to Peng. Now, that is so very special. Cute even.

Here are the rules, Hiram Style: A. You are not welcome here, even if the Bard himself welcomes you. 3. Be creative and pick a person to challenge. VI. Expletives and epithets are encouraged, but be careful and try to be tasteful. dog. Pick one person that you want to lose to and challenge that person. 3.14. Remember that if you think you don't really belong here, then you are correct. 61. You are less than nothing because you are not of "The Peng Thread". Think of yourself as the afterbirth and then things will come into focus for you. 2bsure. When you are ignored, don't be suprised. It's just our way. [ May 15, 2002, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

uh, thanks (I think)

uh, thanks (I think)

Boy, you sure do talk funny. Can I call you Donkey-Kong? That was a fun game from way-back. Not sure if you have a way-back period in your country, Mister Donkey-dude. I guess you have the middle ages to ruminate over and all. How about them rats? Bring out yer dead!! Good times, then. Huh, Mister Burro de Chico! You go ahead and continue being esoteric and I'll keep on scratching my balding scalp while striving to figure out your fancy speak.

Boy, you sure do talk funny. Can I call you Donkey-Kong? That was a fun game from way-back. Not sure if you have a way-back period in your country, Mister Donkey-dude. I guess you have the middle ages to ruminate over and all. How about them rats? Bring out yer dead!! Good times, then. Huh, Mister Burro de Chico! You go ahead and continue being esoteric and I'll keep on scratching my balding scalp while striving to figure out your fancy speak.

Or perhaps "I ain't got no printer, my girl gave me the clap, and my dog hates me." I feel a country song coming on.