imported_Hiram Sedai

There are Scum Sucking Newbies about. I can smell their fetid stench. There are entirely too many to deal with on a one-on-one basis, so I’ll have to make a general announcement. Attention Scum Sucking Newbies: This is the Peng thread that your parents told you about. Looking for a game with one of us? Good! Get the hell out! Want to be cool and argue with somebody in here? Excellent! Get the hell out! Each of you isn’t worth the spittle that is expended when one of us decides to yell at you. I understand that you may be feeling clever after winning that argument with your little sister and would like to unleash some of those witticisms upon the only adults you look up to. Trust me, it truly isn’t worth the effort. For those of you who have the gumption to reply to this post: By arguing with me, you acknowledge that you are automatically wrong. You are also stupid, ugly, an embarrassment to your family & community, gay, and probably still live with your parents. Your reply won’t have a shred of intellect and will probably have a host of misspelled words thus showing your glaring lack of verbal accuity. You are not funny and should….wait for it…. Get the hell out!! This was simply a service of the Hiram Broadcasting Service (HBS). Nothing is copyrighted or patented, so you may notice Scum Sucking Newbies quoting some of the Hiramisms every once in a while.

So, you consider yourself a "history buff"? Let's talk some history then. When, in the history of your sad little life, did you truly think you would be welcomed here with open arms? Let me help you with your obvious misconception: You are not welcome! Now exit the premises immediately.

Peng knows my pain because he caused it. He revels in it. He seeks to destroy the fabric of my reality with his inebriated machinations. How I despise him.

Thanks. I already did that and it says 8.0 with a couple of other numbers that are not zeroes. I'm at work right.

Talk to Justagrog. I hear he can perform upgrades like dalem can perform stoopid tank tricks.</font>

Thank you, Schrullenhaft. I do appreciate that help and would like to note that I've known you to give some very good advice over at least the last two years. I know you've helped out many like me and I'm grateful. You should be the Admin for the Tech forum. I have Win 98 SR2 and am trying to play a video intensive game (Myth III). Unfortunately, I think the minimum for this game is Vodoo Banshee 3 while I only have the first one with 16 Megs of memory on it. I may have to buy a new video card soon. DirectX question: How can you tell if you have DirectX 8.0 or 8.0a?

...the Jagdpanther that just happened to...</font>

1. Where can I get the latest video drivers for a Vodoo Banshee (first one)? 2. What is the latest version of DirectX? Thanks in advance for any help.

The harsh reality of a Monday kicks me in the seat of my pants once more. Oh it hurts. Sunlight and noise are the bane of my existence this day. The weekend was good. I was at a bachelor party this weekend with trips to Hooters and a Strip Club. I was hunting and reversing all night. I was making gamey flag rushes with my dollar bills. They charged entirely too much to do a hotseat with me and frowned upon my attempt at a quick battle. Trying to stuff a dollar bill into the ample bosom of the diner waitress netted me a slap and an ejection from the diner. She didn’t even want a cease-fire. Our bachelor party was finished up by going to the bowling alley. (I bowled a 213!!) Nice memories to ponder as I sit and suffer from my Monday. You know that the “Sit and Suffer” is a game created by Berli. (Milton Berli) Oh, by the way. My video card is kaput. I installed Myth III and then attempted an upgrade of my drivers etc. It will take me a while to fix the PC. Talk amongst yourselves until later.

Well done, chaps!! I knew you Yanks had taste after all!! </font>

It must suck to be you, Stuka!! This is fun!!

I've created my own scenarios with renaming a unit using my last name. I tend to be much more careful with that unit. He would be the person driving the Elite Uber Edited tank who is always hull down. I also enjoy editing the bit maps that come with the game to put my girlfriend's name on the sides of Shermans. I know I'm not the first person to do that.

Okay, I'll admit that was funny. hehe

The weekend is so close I can almost taste it. It tastes like beer. Mmmm…beer. I might even send a turn to one of my opponents this weekend. We can start the raffle to see who the lucky winner is. I can imagine that deep within the bowls of Berli’s fortress, he is working on a Monday morning in his evil lab. He stirs his malevolent stew and cackles with glee. Two parts stress with a pinch of unreasonable expectations. “This will teach them to make posts with a lot of words” he grumbles to himself. “I hope they all sod off like the pillocks they are.” He then sends out his stew in Evilware containers via his imps. (Evilware is microwavable, dontcha know!) They will scamper to and fro across the globe in search of those who enjoyed their weekends. He can barely hear the voice from upstairs that gently chides him “Berlipoo, you can be less evil. Come on and snuggle with me, my hellspawn, Wagner aficionado.” Like a kick in the crotch, I know that Monday will arrive and pummel my sensibilities. But, I have the miniscule hope that perhaps I will enjoy this weekend and will be in a complete coma come Monday. I can hope.

Funny thing is, you have sent it to me twice, seemingly impatient for its return! Be aware, Croda doesn't stoop so low as to send a turn again saying "just in case you didn't get it." Mamby-Pamby... Speedbump [ummmm...I love the feel of the edit button]</font>

It has come to my attention that I have been processing my turns in a timely and dependable manner. That will stop immediately. I will now go back to sending them when I get good and ready. That should give me some time to lose repeatedly to the AI. So, to those of you who are unfortunate enough to be my opponents, you can never really count on a turn from me. It might be once a week or twice a week. I do promise to not send them at the snail like pace of a Sir Seanachai. That would be criminal. I also won’t send them at the pace of jdmorse or Elvis. That pace consists of sending the turn and constantly checking the email at intervals of thrice an hour every day. This was the most logical recourse for me in that I am known to spend more time with my turns and my latest PBEM schedule has been atypical of me. You may now commence the cacophony of wailing and beating of your communal breast. (Sit down Bauhaus, you myopic, mouthbreathing twit!) For those of you who don’t care a whit about my PBEM schedule, I have this to say: There may come a time when you might stumble into a PBEM with me. Know that my turns are packed with “strategery” and awe inspiring tactical acumen. I provide quality turns that encourage you to remove your finger from your over worked nose. Think of me as an easy win if you want. (that will be the phrase that Berlinginand outagain will pick up on and quote) I might surprise you. Ask Elvis. hehe

I want some TCPIP action. Someone answer in the next 12 seconds.

And how. I nearly crapped on a stick and sold it to some blind guy telling him it was a corn dog (well it was, kind of...). And who you calling unseemly, elephant boy?</font>

Holy crap on a stick!! That was funny!! Kudos to you Persephone!! You could create an online comic book with our unseemly visages.

...but the cat didn't really care about this. The cat sat and stared at the obese...

Hiram, don't worry, I won't defend that Justicar wannabe Croda...he's all yours to abuse as you wish...and I'll enjoy watching. Persephone</font>

Go away and take Croda with you. Of all the people who are not welcome here, you may count yourself among them.

Shut up!! Shut up!! You are stupid and funny looking. Not the type of funny looking that old people find amusing. It’s the type of funny looking that should be studied and recorded as an atrocity of nature. You should be beaten with big, blunt, bangy things and then poked with sharp pointy things. Somebody should stomp on your toes and then slap you like one would do to a mouthy little street walker. You sell your worn out wares on the street corner and are surprised that nobody wants some Croda lovin. Don’t be surprised any more. Here is a little FYI to put into your crack pipe. We were only nice to you because we thought Meeks would bite us and give us rabies. Speaking of aprons. Maybe Persephone will rush to your defense again, so you won’t have to hurt yourself by thinking and actually responding. Poor little wussy boy. I need a damn smoke! Edited because my knuckles hurt from punching the monitor. [ March 06, 2002, 09:51 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

I noticed that there were pages and pages of songs in the last incarnation of the MBT. I fondly remember the epithets hurled my way when I would attempt such things in the past, now it’s become commonplace. Know that I hate you all. It’s a simmering, creeping hatred that covers each and every inhabitant of this thread and our small community. It’s a bundle of disdain that knocks on your door and pokes you in the eyes. It’s a hot steaming bag of abhorrence that is left on your back porch and you have to beg the authorities to remove it. I searched for something interesting to respond to in the last Peng thread, but found inane posts about this or that with my name interspersed every once in a while. I won’t posts songs because so many of you do it. That makes it jejune. I tire of your communal, melodic whimsy. Do try harder to entertain me. We all know that you are here to distract me from my mundane existence. Some of you can juggle while two of you can stab yourself repeatedly with plasticware. I choose Croda to be the one to be immolated while Bauhaus can prance about singing showtunes. Since we all know who dwells in the lake of fire where the Croda dieth not, perhaps he can provide the flame. I want to smell some burning Croda on a stick. That is all.

Well, I played it last night as both sides and thought it was quite clever. Quite a big suprise you have there, Russell!! hehe