Dave H

Axe, maybe tomorrow you'll get your early Christmas present to yourself. I don't know which is more tragicomic, your CMAK no-show, or your faith in the doomed Red Sox. Fellow maggots, I just finished a minor victory over Keke, and he was playing the FINNS!! I had to swarm his defense with a whole lot of Soviet infantry and armor, and the Finns killed about half of my men and machines, but I took and held the VLs. Keke, you put up a great fight by a really tough player. If it had been any of the rest of you maggots playing the Finns, I would have won a bigger victory.

Okay, this was the first Soviet force I tried holding back in the BDLRM. MasterGoodale assaulted with a Guards 43 company, a pioneer platoon, a SMG company, a T-34 M43 platoon, two DP LMGs, two Maxims, two PTRD AT rifles, two FO (82 mm mortars), an OT-34, an SU-76, and two MG carriers. He won a tactical victory by keeping his armor concentrated in a hull-down position, immediately killing one of my tanks (first shot! :mad: ), knocking out my AT guns, and dropping mortar rounds around my infantry. He only caused 27 casualties, but he captured 6 men, giving him enough points for a 56-44 victory. GRRRR!!! :mad: Next: Teddy

Teddy, since you have twisted my arm, why not?!

Good grief, it's a blizzard out there! Why, the roofs of the houses across the street are white instead of black. There are even tiny white strips along the edges of the road. Very holiday-ish! Okay, time to wrap up the 2003 BDLRM. In 7 battles I managed 1 tactical victory, 2 draws, 2 minor defeats, 1 tactical defeat, and 1 major defeat - congratulations Teddy Windsor! My thanks to Becket for putting together the scenario we used. As the gallant German defenders, I started out with 3 Gebirsjager 42 platoons (3 regular HQ; 2 veteran, 7 regular, and 3 green squads), 3 regular HMG 34 teams, 2 50 mm Pak 38 AT guns (1 veteran, 1 green), 1 regular Marder III, and 2 regular Pz IVH tanks. I also had 4 trenches, 3 wire, and 2 antipersonnal mines. This was the German force I had to defend 4 small and 1 large VLs on a map 800 meters deep by 1,115 meters wide. There were rolling hills, woods to the north and east, a factory complex at a road junction, and scattered houses. Three of the small VLs were very close to the edge of my setup area (including one in the factory), and I didn't think I could stop an unknown Soviet assault in its tracks. I concentrated my defenses near the large VL in the SW corner. I placed two split squads just ouside the factory buildings, as scouts and to discourage an immediate occupation by the Soviets. One HMG and one AT gun went into a trench about halfway across the south edge to cover the roads approaching the factory and the woods in the east. One platoon of infantry and one HMG were positioned along the west map edge to cover the woods approaching the large VL. The wire went to the edge of the woods where HMGs covered it. The tanks and Marder were hidden behind buildings or hills to wait until the attackers were identified. I placed one AT mine behind a stone wall which I expected the Soviet infantry to use for cover, and the second went directly on an exposed hilltop VL. Actually I couldn't think of a good place for it! Next-Introducing the assaulting Soviets!

Jim, you're going to give the rest of us maggots a bad name dreaming up a scenario like that for our friend Axe! :eek: I suspect the influence of a flock of penguins has something to do with this low blow. I almost wish it wasn't so funny! By the time Axe gets his copy of CMAK, he's going to have a lot of pent-up hostility. Probably a whole, whole, <big>WHOLE</big> lot of hostility. I think I'll wait a while before playing against him.

Well, it's another Friday night. No sign of Soddball yet, which either means he's still at the pub, or he's passed out in a gutter somewhere. It will be interesting to see if he can manage another drunken fiasco here like he did a week ago. Keke, the "Danger Will Robinson" was from the old "Lost in Space" TV show. It should begin showing in Finland any time now. Axe, I'm definitely getting worried about you. How about a short CMBB battle to pass the time?

<font size=5>Danger, Will Robinson!! Grog Warning!!</font size=5> Okay, you guys had to start talking about tanks, so I've got a question for you. How, and why, did the A-9, or whatever this British cruiser tank is called, have six crewmen?? Those guys must have been wedged in there like Keke, mike_the_wino, Soddball, Seanachai, MasterGoodale, and Jim Boggs in their little clown car. Were a couple of extra crewmen carried in case they had to get out and push? Maybe their bodies provided additional protection for the important crew members? Or were they just along for the ride to fire the machine guns? :confused: :confused: Goodness knows that Cheery Waffleheads are anything but grogs, but you never know when a real live one may blunder in.

Ooooh, wouldn't it be ironic if Axe has already received the envelope with CMAK, but since he's looking for a "parcel", he doesn't know it? :eek: :eek: :eek:

<font size=5>Good Morning Vietnam!!</font size=5> Oh wait, that's been done to death already. Hey Jim Boggs, you Italian tank sniper maggot, the boys at Valley Forge were asking when you would be getting back. I explained you were off visiting your childhood buddy Attila the Hun. Keke, you tree mold maggot, why don't you slither back into the forest and chase reindeer? Some bad news - yesterday I heard from our patron saint, the man who put the GRRRR into GRARGHRAGRHRAGGHRAARGHRAR, the man who put "deranged molten TNT" into our vocabularies, the "Lip Encrusted Jewelless Grandmonster" of Cheery Waffle Land, our very own MasterGoodale. No, hearing from him isn't the bad news. It seems both he and his lovely, charming, and extremely non-judgemental MrsMasterGoodale have been suffering from extended bouts of pneumonia. If you get a chance, drop the uber-maggot an e-mail to tell him how pathetic he really is and that nobody cares what happens to him. Isn't that prohibited by the constitution? Sounds like "cruel and unusual punishment" to me. Oh wait, he's not protected - he's a CANADIAN!! Never mind. Carry on.

Axe, you're beginning to worry me. You're still playing the CMAK demo, right? You still have CMBB, right? Well, chin up, young man; it's not the end of the world. A song for Axe "Always look on the bright side of life... If life seems jolly rotten, There's something you've forgotten! And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing, When you're feeling in the dumps, Don't be silly chumps, Just purse your lips and whistle -- that's the thing! And... always look on the bright side of life... whistle Come on! Always look on the bright side of life... whistle For life is quite absurd, And death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow! Forget about your sin -- give the audience a grin, Enjoy it -- it's the last chance anyhow! So always look on the bright side of death! Just before you draw your terminal breath. Life's a piece of sh*t, When you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true, You'll see it's all a show, Keep 'em laughing as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you! And always look on the bright side of life... whistle Always look on the bright side of life whistle...

Thanks, Keke. I found far more information on this website than I have been able to gather by playing you. For some reason my Soviets don't seem to be able to identify Finns very clearly. I'm always shocked to get anything more detailed than "infantry squad?" or "crew?". :mad:

This will be something I will be looking for in the completely overhauled CM in a year or two. Nation-specific faces will greatly increase the feel of a multi-ethnic army. It's unfortunate that the current engine can only support faces which can pass for Germans.

<font size=8>Good Morning, maggots!!</font size=8> So Axe, read any good books lately? Just messing with you. I'm sure you will be CMAKing up a storm in the next couple of days. It seems to me that one of the BFC guys should drive up and hand-deliver your copy. I don't know what the problem is with MrSpkr's copy - I don't suppose it can be blamed on Canadian Customs or the Canadian Postal service. Maybe rune wasn't kidding when he said they would be routed through Portugal. The inaugural BDLRM has finally concluded. THumpre and I managed a draw, Axis 55, Allies 45. I think that if my surviving member of a HMG crew would have had the decency to get himself shot instead of surrendering, I would have managed a victory. Close, but no cigar. I'll be giving more information about the BDLRM later, so everyone can see the heroic defenses my Germans put up against overwhelming odds. Excuse me, I'm getting all choked up here. Lurkur has told me that our battle in the Warsaw ghetto is the most depressing battle he's ever fought. I think my psychological warfare campaign is paying off. Rune, this was indeed a truly evil battle, in all senses of the word. Keke and I are in the last turn or two of our PBEM. I'm expecting his uber-Finns to materialize inside the VL church my Soviets are now holding and shoot all of my men in the back. The guy is scary in the way he maneuvers through the woods and snow. Stikkypixie's Valentines have felt the wrath of my Pz IIIs, finally. With luck his Matildas will never find us. Becket, do I owe you a turn again? The last thing I recall from our game was the neat way the rockets from the aircraft crisscrossed. I thought I had sent the next turn, but I can't check until later. Also, same question for 86smopuim. Do I owe you a turn? I haven't heard from you for a while. Jim Boggs has his Italian tanks pounding my British cruiser tanks. For some reason most of his hits are hitting the guns. Luckily he keeps hitting the same tanks, while others are flanking him. If there's anyone I've forgotten, sorry about that, chief!

You all are going to get me into trouble at work! I'd been too busy this morning to look in here until just now, and what do I find but this classic post. I couldn't help laughing out loud. Axe, I'm sorry you don't have your game yet, but this was priceless!

Soddball used the names of a few of the Cheery Waffle thread regulars when he made his "Cheery Waffle 2" scenario for CMBB. As far as I know, none of us have done anything heroic - at least not in the scenario. Beyond that, I haven't heard anybody bragging about his namesake being in the games.

Well, what do you know? There's nothing left! No, that was really first-class. I'm sure in your own little backwoods neck of the forum that oration would probably get you elevated to third assistant <font size=1>penguin</font size=1>, second class. You may have noticed, as you no doubt have the steely-eyed, all-encompassing awareness of an officer in the USMC, that this is not the <font size=1>penguin</font size=1> thread. Here your squirely (squirrely?) bluster gets you exactly nothing. Zero. Nada. Zip. In spite of that, I'd play you, but I'm covered up with unfinished CMBB games, plus I have one CMAK PBEM going with the estimable Jim Boggs. In addition, I have a waiting list of Cheery Waffle regulars (and irregulars) for CMAK games. Sometime later would work out much better for me. Sorry.

Mike_t_w, I think you're being a little hard on yourself. Not very much, but just a tiny little bit. Oh, all right, actually you're probably understating what a sodden, pathetic flatworm you really are. Oops, I left out gamey. I can't talk about you without mentioning gamey. I'm ready to take you on again, in armored cars, halftracks, jeeps, tanks, infantry, whatever, it doesn't matter. Allow me to finish off THumpre, Becket, Stikkypixie, Keke, Lurkur, and 86smopuim in CMBB, and we'll have at each other - again! :mad: :mad:

Actually that's not the wind at all; it's the sound my British crews make when their "armor" gets perforated yet AGAIN!! Curse those Italian bullies! :mad: Jim's right, the sound of the wind and the desolation of the setting are very atmospheric. These men were incredibly brave just driving their vehicles off into the desert at all. The conditions all of these soldiers endured in North Africa go beyond my imagination, thankfully.

Did any of you maggots happen to notice that the big snowstorm in the northeast was centered on New Hampshire? I suppose MasterGoodale, the lost sheep, has yet another excuse for not sending PBEM turns with 2 to 3 feet of snow. Well, that and the fact he quit playing Combat Mission. On the other hand, by now the mold and ants might have gotten him. Anyone think to let YK2 know that we moved out immediately after she asked if she could hang out at the old thread. Let's not get too obvious, maggots. We seem to be on a roll with the few women who tolerate this crowd. Jim Boggs is giving me far too much grief in my first CMAK scenario. Somebody tell me how British tanks (and I use the term very loosely) with 12 mm of armor are supposed to slug it out with Italian tanks with considerably heavier armor. In the freaking desert, where you might occasionally find a hull-down position; so only your tissue-paper turret gets hit, while 2 pounders bounce off the Italian turrets. Are the British supposed to charge the Italians across a kilometer or two? This is like armored cars against tanks. :mad: :mad:

*Sigh* MY HERO :mad: :mad: :mad: </font>

Becket, I just sent turn 061 again, for the fourth time. I switched back to your becketpbem@verizon.net address. Let me know if you don't receive it. Did all the penguins go waddling back to their pool? About time!

Okay, how's this, "Dear Seanachai, we maggots of the Cheery Waffle thread apologize for ever reading any of the random musings you have inflicted upon us. Although I'm sure in Minnesota (and its clone Australia) your insane rambling is regarded as quaintly provincial, in the Cheery Waffle thread it is slightly less welcome than a root canal." Happy now? I believe you were addressing that Anglo maggot Soddball. There's no need to drag the pickled California maggot mike_the_wino into this. Oh, you also need to use more smiley faces.

<font size=1>Never mind. It wasn't important.</font size=1> [ December 06, 2003, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

My name is on several lists now? Does that mean I'm eligible for fabulous prizes? Will Ed McMahon be knocking on my door, with a check in hand?

The good Leutnant and Soddball make a charming couple, don't they? :eek: [ December 05, 2003, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: Dave H ]