Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon: Pool Notice: If you really feel like bashing somebody, do the Frogs as it never seems to bugger anyone on the Board.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Should it?!? Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem: That's all I've got in the Pool for now. Anyone up for an easy win? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> dalem, I would be happy to pay my dollar for the bride's dollar dance. As you can see, I need another Pool game. It seems all I can find so far are gamey bastiches (Iskander), slack-wits (armornut) or miscreants (MrSpkr). Send a setup or terms. Speedbump With the proper consideration in choice of allies, victory may be guaranteed in any conflict. - B. Arnold

Edited and self-censored as I am embarassed as this is degenerating into bad grade-school playground taunts. Commence the heaping of the abuse! Speedbump To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader. - Capt. Bligh (ret.) [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ] [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Oh my this is turning out rather well. Speedbump and MrSpkr (are lying and weaseling to beat the band so that they can justify the outcome whatever it may be and Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> MrSpkr (no bold), you have caused my most respected Knight Mr. Shaw to question my most honorable motives. This, after your most dishonorable inclusion of proscribed units (down Bauhaus). As such, let us settle this on the field of honor (some question whether you belong, at least I do). Since you have already chosen the weapon (Ubertanks), I shall choose the time and place. Dusk, heavy fog, tall hills. I will accept your revised setup posthaste! Speedbump That's Entertainment!! - Vlad the Impaler [ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Now, as I am exposed (down Bauhaus), as the double-dealing, duplicitous, deceitful, alliterative whelp that I truly am, I back down like a hunch-backed, lisping laboratory sidekick out of a 1930’s horror movie. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good Sir {spoken through a sterile mask while scrapping something particularly unsettling off my shoes}, I said in our email conversation, and again on this board that you are more than welcome to use your toy. Should you feel the need to buy over-exaggerated phallic symbols to compensate for your underdeveloped tool, instead of quality infantry to seize and hold ground, it will only accrue to my benefit. As a result, I say “piffle” to your “generous” offer and ask you to bring it on! Speedbump Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior Hun, A.T.

Oh, the headache. Catching up on this new thread has given me a migraine! I have not read this much inane drivel since...well since the last thread! Game updates: Iskander, the gamey bastiche, continues to use a most foul tactic: winning! While able to attrite his initial sturm platoons, my overweighted zook forces die in droves (bought waaaayyyy too many considering our Combined Force battle turned into a purely infantry battle). It remains to be seen if anything can be salvaged from this debacle... I originally thought armornut was still trying to understand my earlier taunts before sending his next file. However, his earlier post explains his delays. MrSpkr (Serf nominee by my most respected Knight Mr. Shaw) has exhibited two of the pre-requisite conditions to swim in the pool: faulty memory & misrepresentation. In our discussions for our game setup, this miscreant stated, "Let's play with the short 75 rules." Lo and behold, what should my wondering eyes spy? You guessed it, an AFV listed as "Panther?" When challenged, MrSpkr simply said, "oops, I am a brain fart." He went on to attempt to cover up his lapse with a claim that we were playing the "Rule of 76" setup. Finally, he sheepishly (down Mace & don't get jealous armornut!) admits to buying a JagdPanther!. It is my sincere hope that the entire Pool with castigate this degenerate. In the meantime, I will simply have to make him pay for that expensive toy. Came across a few misquoted quotes recently. Felt some were appropriate: Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician. G.A. Custer Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: How about returning a turn in our game? MrSpkr <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> MrSpkr, thank you ever so much for entering into what up to now has been a one-sided conversation. I was remotely impressed with you ability to use my quotes as a basis for your responses. For the most part you understood what I was trying to communicate, and was able to generate a coherent response. However, you lose all your credit on two points: 1) Altering an original quote to change the meaning is only a small step below creating a new quote out of whole fabric. As my most respected Knight, Mr. Shaw , has stated in the past, the true skill in reparte is to take what the other has said and twist it to your own needs. 2) Originally, I thought you had a modicum of common sense. Unfortunately, you have proven me wrong. If I am unable to send a setup to armornut because I don't have CM available to me during the day, What Makes You Think I Can Play Your Turn? Please note, in the future zip your files and send them to me at a reasonable hour if you wish them back immediately! Now go away so that I might breath fresh air. Speedbump [ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ] [ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by armornut: What a piss-poor excuse for a post! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Okay, let me get this straight, no confusion. First, I post that your knigget Mace is stroking a curly haired companion, assuming that everyone would assume it was a sheep. But you boldly stepped forth and informed the entire Pool, that in fact you were serving in that role. Then I refer to your male organ of copulation as a reduced scale model. I go on to explain in several ways the limitations to your intelligence...and that's all the better you can do?!?!? While I am not always the most creative, at least I do not sound like a petulant child. You will receive your setup tonight as soon as I reach my PC. I have never had such intense contempt for any opponent. It will be my great pleasure to take you out back behind the shed and give you a whuppin' you won't soon forget. Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: To recapitulate what I normally direct at the lint, Speedbum: you're an idiot; and, I'd be more than happy to re-illustrate that to you on a field of your choosing, mate!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I find it hard to believe you, you Iskander have the nerve to call me an idiot! If you, good sir, were any more stupid you would photosynthesise in sunlight! Now send me back my turn so I can die in dignity! Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>armornut, it has been my experience that those who play with reduced scale models are, in fact, compensating for other "scale" issues.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by armornut: I just make them in a smaller scale because making them full size is just not possible, you git! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> armornut, I would like to insult you again, but the sad truth is that you wouldn't understand me. Afterall, Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week. In an attempt to give you some credit, I will assume that you were distracted by Mace's ministrations. Speedbump [ 05-04-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: Mace, You write as if you are typing with only one hand, the other slowly stroking the curly haired companion of yours. Pop Quiz for the Pool: Is Mace’s “curly haired companion” a: a) A four legged, domesticated, ruminant mammal with a single word vocabulary: “Baaa” His overly-hirstute, male organ of copulation c) His menopausal, female associate with a horrific attempt at a perm d) Other, please share with the group

Being new to the Pool, I have taken it slowly (down Bauhaus!); intending on wading slowly into the muck. However, I have been accused of treating the Holy Mother Thread as a game-of-the-week club. I am ever so embarisked…But I recognize the need to do more than dip a toe into the Cess; as such, all take heed: Mr. Shaw, please accept your loyal Squire’s request for a rematch on the field of honor. A match in which you have less than a full squadron of Fighter-Bombers. I was thinking of a fine little jaunt on brisk Fall afternoon. Should this sound appealing please let me know. Mace After reading your semi-literate posts, I find myself struggling to maintain consciousness. You write as if you are typing with only one hand, the other slowly stroking the curly haired companion of yours. The only way in which I may gain a modicum or respect for you is if you accept this challenge. Mace, you steal food from the cat’s dish, you careless, mildew devouring, ‘roo abusing, chemically-based cub of a diseased monkey. Speedbump Pop Quiz for the Pool: Is Mace’s “curly haired companion” a: a) A four legged, domesticated, ruminant mammal with a single word vocabulary: “Baaa” His overly-hirstute, male organ of copulation c) His menopausal, female associate with a horrific attempt at a perm d) Other, please share with the group [ 05-03-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump: Now as I need another Pool match Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wait a minute, does a match with the "Whuppin' boy" count? Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: And Joe, thanks for the okra. MrSpkr<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I am glad that you are making nice with my revered Knight, but hurry up and send me my turn so that I might stomp you like the Lake Erie Midge you are! Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DekeFentle: SpeedBump I am saddened by the lack of your incoherent drivel of late<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Clearly someone of great taste...wait, did you say incoherent? Then obviously someone with good ears... Real life - blah, blah, blah. No good excuse. I note with interest Mr. Spkr roundly challenging anyone that will speak with him. {Note to Mr Spkr - send me a $#%^^^#$ turn!} Iskander continues to proceed with his use of Sturmkompanie in a map with limited visibility (read heavy woods over half of the map). It seems BTS's FOW war settings are tricky. Early in the game, his forces were identified as "Cub Scouts?" Iskander himself was identified as "Troop Leader (Leering lustfully at own troops)?" Tricky, gamey bastiche. As for you Deke Fentle, you are a harpsichord playing, Barbara Streisand listening, Tom Cruise fanclub member (not that there is anything wrong with that)! Now as I need another Pool match, I expect to see a setup in my inbox when I return home tonight! Now back to my dreary existence that is refered to as Real Life... Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: What is difficult about hitting the "reply" button on an email? MrSpkr<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is exactly why I am so suspicious. I did you git! Speedbump

Here follows the first official game update as a squire of the great Mr. Shaw: Iskander is using the gamey tactics of shooting at my advancing forces. It seems, to my great chagrin, that my pixilated warriors feel that a few rounds in their area is reason enough to break and run. It will simply take me longer to ravage Iskander's cub scouts (down Bauhaus, they are Iskander's to ravage) MrSpkr, who is the offspring of a genetically challenged swine, crowed and strutted in an attempt to gain the attention of my Knight. When I finally offered him a chance to prove his metal, he has sat on a setup for several days, and then came up with an especially interesting avoidance technique. His email server is "down". Providing me with an alternative, which coincidentely returns a "mailer daemon" error. Seems he is not interested afterall! Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: I like to have a platoon 0of split squads in front of major advances for recon and to give the enemy more targets (and the impression the attack is heavier than it actually is). MrSpkr<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thanks for sharing! I will remember this. Speedbump

Hi Mom!! Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Speedbump is too lazy to reply to an email proposal. MrSpkr <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> First, you are the remnants of my morning constitutional; an especially greasy one, given the amount of alchohol I imbibed last night. Second, it seems to me you should be falling down in apoplexy with gratitude to simply be discussing a game. Third, I will get to it when I damn well please. Until then, go play in traffic! Speedbump [ 04-28-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Iskander: I'm sorry: is it my left or right nut you're scheduled to suck this time?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not sure, but they better be well salted! Speedbump

Iskander, stop soaking and get me my turn you knigget! Speedbump

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Jealousy hath its ways, eh Speedbump? MrSpkr<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It seems to me that this sentiment should actually go the other way. After all what was the Sooner's record in the 90's? Did they average 10 wins a year for the last 25 years? Did they win 2.5 National Championships in the 90's? Were they 2nd in the number of wins (only to Florida State)? Did they graduate any players? Now, I realize no one else gives a ****e about this, and to those I say, Sod Off! Speedbump [ 04-27-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Bah! Speedbump, MrSpkr is beneath my contempt. Your acceptance of his challenge ON MY BEHALF gives legitimacy to him and his DEMAND that I play him. ... In short **KICK!** Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {Cringing, groveling in the dirt} Master, this supplicant is in grievious error! I was simply trying to eliminate the distraction that MrSpkr represents. Your time is better spent contemplating the meaning of Peng and spreading the your wisdom among the illiterate masses which reside in the Pool! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> With that said, you have accepted the challenge and I now expect and require that you will fufill your duties promptly and victoriously. Come home with your shield lad ... or on it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Of this I have little fear, for MrSpkr is a ... {in hushed tones}... a Sooner! Sooners are well known to be unable to function coherently (with the exception of interfamily relations). <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido: Speedbump, welcome to the family. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I offer my most sincere gratitude. I wish only to follow in your most formidable path. Speedbump

Bump <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat: How the hell did iskandodohead manage to get to be a knnniggiittt so fast, he is still a newby<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Through intensive training (read abuse) by my legions of light! Speedbump