OGSF

Did Ah mention that Hiram was a gamey pirate bastard? Ah think Ah did. An' sae asSpeedy. Noo ainly does he virtually wipe oot mah entire armour forrrce with just a bazooka an' a Greyhoond in tha stankin' rain swept night, boot the gamey bastard holds a stankin' Sherman in rrreserrrve tae cam doon an' sweep oop. Bastarrrd. There's nae tactics an this wun....at's just lak clubbin' baby furr seals, an' it Speedy? Did Ah mention tha' Speedy were a gamey bastarrrd lak tha' gamey bastarrrd Hiram? Bastarrrds. Still, there's allas Nijis, Blasted Bubbles, StukaPukaNukaPants, Meekses, Lorak an' Seanachai tae cheers mae oop wi' their respective impendin' topplements.... As fer tha rest o' ye......ye're a pack o' gamey bastarrrrds an' ye knoo at. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

Let at be known, that Hiram is a gamey rat pirate bastard who kills hidden armour with invisible tanks. There, Ah've said it an' Ah feel better fer it. Oh, an' Marlow, dinnae give up...Ah think he just needs a wee bit o' encouragement. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: Persecute the newcomer 'Pillock'! Stone him and cast his battered corpse from the walls of Castle 'Anthrax'! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Never mind all that, ye porridge brained shirt lice, send mae a bloody turn sae Ah kin continue tae rain misery an' destruction upon ye..... Oh, an' Pillock, ye cam ain here lak some nancy boy in velvet hot pants wi' ye mysterious footstaips an' creakin' door handles.....af'n Ah found ye in mah personal garments Ah'd tak them off, turn thaim inside oot and lay them in the sun till ye dried oop. Ah'd thain scrape ye off wi' mah trusty sharpened thigh bone fraim the last grognardic flatulation tae wander in here, an' feed ye tae mah scrawny cat. Ah'd then beat mah cat wi' a stick until it threw oop intae an envelope which Ah'd then mail tae ye kin fer Christmas. Sae sod off. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy: Bastables, if you are going to have a rematch with OGSF, I suggest you select French units. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Aye, an' mak sure ye have night visibility, and rain, and roads that run straight tae the victory location....sae ye can ambush mah brave laddies wi' yer stankin' bazookas and M8 Greyhound devil cars as they cam strugglin' through tha mud and gloom intae yer sights.... Feh! An' that's SirOGSF tae yoo, laddie.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bastables: Now the little scot sod is 1 for 1 with me. He not only just beat me, He has in own putrid manner crushed me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah'll tak that as a surrender. Lorak widnae ye chalk that up ain the Cesspool as: OGSF Win Bastables Loss And noo, Bustaboils af'n ye wanna be thrashed agin, send a setup mah way. I'll attack or defend, medium quality troops, up tae 1000 points. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard PS Hiram ye owe mae a turn, ye fetid weepin' nipple o' Nelson, tha bulldog bitch fraim Caledonia. PPS Marked IV Ridicule....Ah beat Hiram 92-8 or thereaboots in our Joust....at night, in the fog, wi' conscripts. Did ye have conscripts then? [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-27-2000).]

Hiram, ye half-filled colostomy bag.....what's this blatherin' aboot needin' a gam? You owe mah a bleedin' turn, ye luke-warm hankey load. Ye have tae returrn ye files afore ye kin learn new ways tae die. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BUDDABUDDABUDDA!! (wheeeee) KABLOOOIE!!! Will ye shat thet feckin' row ye knobbly kneed fawnin' beggars! "Merry Christmas" this, "Happy feckin' Eagles" that, "Ah dinnae mean tae be nice, but Ah'm a feckin' dweeb an Ah cannae help mahsailf....." Bursta Bubbles Has suffered a crushing and humiliating defeat at mah skillfulhand....Ah just need tae see the file back..... Speedy A stankin' meeting engagement which will see us wi' three troops remaining between us...mark mah words, a vicious scrap aboot tae begin here.... StukaAs bein' crushed inexorably lak the wee witch in King Solomon's Mines. Mace We're in tha setup phase, and Ah thank he's defeated already! LorakMah ex-Liege as made a show as if he actually intends tae win this thing....Ah fully expect tradition tae hold though and fer him tae snatch defeat fraim tha jaws o' victory Seanachai He scampers intae tha village lak a squirrel intai a skunk trap. Ah leek tha enthusiasm... Nijis What goes "Boom! Boom!"? Mah wee 105's 'll huff and puff an' blooo ye hoose(s) doon! MeeksHurry back sae Ah kin finish ye off. Af'n Ah've fergotten tae mention ye, at's cos ye too feckin' sloo tae send mae a turrrn. As fer tha rest of ye poxy scab pickin' chicken humpers.....Merry Christmas or whatever ye celebrate...at's been a grand year... SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCD Edited cos Ah feckin' felt leek at. [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-24-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Okay you stupid lot - it is 1am where I am on Christmas day..... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah wonder hoo ya managed that, ya soft haided clump o' whale spleen. Af it's tha 23rd here in YooEssAye, at cannae be Chrrristmas Day anywhere ailse on this planet at tha same tam. Ya thick as Beula's buttocks.... SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSciFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: Allrightythen, Oh, any preference for side, Sir OGSF?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah'd prrrefer tae play as tha German's, but Ah've noo objections tae anythin' ailse either. Let ma knoo tha parameters when ye send tha setup. Sir OGSF [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-22-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace: *Mace enters pub! Walks up to bar and orders a pot of Melbourne Bitter. After sculling it, he turns around and stares in Speedy's direction. Catching Speedy's attention (with a thrown bar stool to the back of the head), Mace deliberately turns the pot upside down and places it on the bar "Outside, NOW!"* <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Look what the bloody cat dragged in. Any bastard who drinks green has to be a cross-eyed wanker. Ya look like a one pot screamer to me. Why doncha head into the lounge and have a couple of ponies with the ladies. 800 pts, attack or defend, I don't care. Medium quality tho' SirOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow: I like to have a beer with Duncan, I like to have a beer with Dunc. We drink in moderation, and we never, ever, ever get rollin' drunk. We drink at the Town and Country, where the atmosphere is great. I like to have a beer with Duncan, 'cause Duncan's me mate. (I don't remember the author<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I love to have a beer with Kevin I love to have a beer with Kev! We drink in moderation, Then drive around in his great big Chev, We drink in the town and country, Where the atmosphere is great, I love to have a beer with Kevin, Cos kevin's me mate.. -Slim Dusty

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy: Attention Lorak, Despite OGSF getting God to intervene in our game and resurrect one of his Priests my heroic infantry force has stomped on his combined arms mob.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Aye, tha wee ferret-fondler musta skinned his knees runnin' o'er here tae report his good fortune. A tactical victory it was.....Ah might o' had God on mah side, but he had the rain. Ah'm still writin' letters back tae the families o' mah poor lads. Gunned doon through treacherous hidin' an' such. Still, it were a tactical victory fer him, nae lak the last match, eh Speedy? Take a moment tae catch yer breath, Ah think ye sprinted o'er here a bit too hard. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

...it didn't matter because the next instant Hiram came careening around the corner in his 2-cylinder Daf, obviously out of control. Sliding sideways on two wheels he hit the curb, spun around like Stuka's boys in the attack, and landed smack on top of the poor semi-boiled kittenses. Hiram, dazed so no different, kicked open the drivers door and...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: ...Poopers should move closer to kick you in your wee bairn<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Kickin' mah ain mah "small baby" as it? Your a sick pile o' tepid yak dung, an' noo mistake! SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Samhain: Another neat but likely unrealistic tactic with flamethrower vehicles is to intentionally set woods or buildings on fire (use area target) to deny passage to the enemy and/or block LOS with the smoke. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not so unrealistic. Burning woods denies cover to infantry and forces them out into the open. In 1944 the Allied push through Aachen was eventually halted (temporarily of course) by the German defenders deliberately setting buildings ablaze. The challenge with using flame vehicles is their short range - easy meat for almost any AFV with anti-tank capability. Brilliant tools on foggy nights though! OberGruppenStompinFuhrer

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wild Bill Wilder: OGSF, the revision has been sent to your personal e-mail address. Wild Bill <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thanks WB, receieved and appreciated!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: They wing their way to you now, and I would feel shame, if shame was something that I remotely had a clue about. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wail they must be flappin' awful slowly, cos they nae landed here yet. A quick further update.... Bastables Cryin' an' wailin' lak a wee bairn fer a ceasefire. Ah'm slaughteratin' him aboot 85/15 sae Ah'm nae inclined tae agree. At's surrender or annihilation fer the wee scrap o' dung beetle vomit. Hiram An' a jammier bastard ye never saw afore. First move o' tha gam, an' some piece o' frightful weaponry ain his satanic arsenal manages tae squeak a shot off across 10 miles o' rrrrolin' hills, through numerous stands o' heather an' forest, tae clobber ma poor hull doon an' hidin' wee TD in tha side. Every soddin' git ain his battle group will be put tae the sword fer this outrage! An noo back tae mah PBEMin'.... SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka: P.S. A nice big set up to whoever can guess what species of tree I am... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yer a Norfolk Pine. Reminds me of a story. Back in the 1930s' an expedition is exploring darkest Africa. Jane, a member of the expedition, becomes separated from the group and while trying to find her way back stumbles into a clearing in the jungle. Across the clearing is Tarzan, apparently shagging a tree. It seems the poor lad has no female companion and must exercise his desires on knot holes in trees. She coughs politely to attract his attention. She is anamoured with his Tarzan like physique, and being quite alone in the clearing with him, strips naked and lays down to offer herself to this wild man of the jungle. Tarzan is quick to catch on to the opportunity and bolts across the clearing, grabbing her ankles. Spreading her legs wide, he proceed to kick the crap out of her tender nether region. She screams bloody murder, and between sobs demands to know what the lunatic ape man thinks he is doing. To which he replies.. "Gotta check for squirrels!" *Thank you, thank you very much* SirOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

"Wha widnae fit fer Charlie? Wha widnae draw that sword.." An noo fer a wee update on mah current gams... Speedy Ah'm wipen tha muddy floor wi' his Quixotic collection o' Puppchen's...tha's rrright...half a bleedin' dozen Puppchens or more tae defend his stankin' wee village. He managed throo bleend luck tae kill a Priest wi' one o' the daft thangs, and his artillery clobbered another couple...but mah brave lads are closin' wi' his wretched rat pack o' Heer rabble. One VL already in mah possession an' two more soon tae follow. StukaPukaPants At's rainin' mighty hard an' Ah'm nae certain mah wee Sherman thingies will mak it tae his village w'oot gettin' bogged. But mah stout lads will kick his spotty arrse anyhoo. Nijis Mah juggernaut rolls on wi' him pathetically powerless tae stop mae. At least tha's hoo it's gwin at tha moment! LorakLast Ah remember he was beginning tae lose less badly than he had been up tae that point. Ah await tha next move. MeeksHe's awah on a sabbatical, but he were gettin' beat before he left, an nae reason tae expect anythin' ailse when he returns. HiramWe begin anew. He has taken the side o' tha Germans' in an armoured meetin' engagement. An' then he went an' specified large hills, heavy trees an' a town tae manoeuvre in. Ah think this'll be tha day o tha long bazookas, af'n mah fighter bombers dain blow him tae thah crap hoose firrst. Seanachai He didnae come through ain his promise tae send a setup this weekend. Jest sae ye knoo he's a duckin' an' weavin' mah fearful retribution fer his existence. As fer tha rest o' ye....ye kin go bobbin' fer apples ain the Cesspool. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Buckeye: Hey OGSF, did you play the original or the revised version? Wild Bill kindly listened to my complaints about the location of the reinforcements, and revised the scenario. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It is the original version off the CD. I was appalled and horrified at taking such a crippling loss through no fault of my own. After taking the required beating for 15 moves while waiting for the reinforcements to arrive, it nearly broke my spirit to have them appear in territory that was designed to be enemy occupied by that time. I'm glad to hear the issue has been recognized and that Wild Bill modified the scenario! Also that I'm not alone in "discovering" this "feature" of the original. :^) OGSF

I was having fun with it (the one off the CD) in a PBEM, playing as the Germans. I'm slowly getting creamed, waiting for the reinforcements to arrive. They do arrive, first one lot, then the next. The second lot arrive on a road right next to an American platoon, which included a bazooka team. The very next turn after the arrival I lose three Tigers knocked out and the fourth has it's gun damaged. Four Tigers to one bazooka in one turn...... Kinda took all the fun away.... Maybe I'll replay it against the AI and see if my luck is any better. OGSF

Done!

Well, well well! Didnae we all wanna be Kanniggets all o' a sudden!? Ta mah way o' understandin', winnin' the Joust is important, but sae is tha tauntin' and stayin' power in tha' 'Pool. Ah had assumed that these last two were the basis fer Hiram's kanniggethood. An' Ah heartily approve. StukaPukaPantas and Croda hae got the idea. CaptFoobar and Roborat ha' dropped off the face o' tha 'Pool. Yoo that are whingin' lak some immigrant Pommy bastarrd cos ye coulda beat Hiram ha' missed the point. Ye widnae playin' him in a joust, were ye? Go an suffer through yer ain joust - our's were a bleedin' nightmare o' fog, night and conscripts that lasted almost three months. There's more tae bein' a kannigget than bein' able tae win PBEMs' - ye just got tae look at Mori-(I'm a complete and useless twat)-arty's score ain the Cesspool page tae see that. If ever there were a soddin' piece o' bovine butt weep, there's ye mon. Yet he's still a kannigget. Af'n ye not in a kannigget Joust, badger ye Sponsor tae get one gwin fer ye. Meanwhile, Seanachai are ye gwintae put up, or wot? SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard

IT'S OVER!! IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!! The inaugural Kanniget Joust match between Hiram Sedai and OGSF has finally ended. It appears that Hiram ultimately packed as many troops as he could into the Victory Location building, outside of which were two Stug Assault Guns. These guns began shelling the building from 20 yards away. Instead of waiting for the inevitable catastrophic explosion and slaughter, he surrendered. Score stats: French (Regular) 84 casualties (22 KIA) 233 captured 5 vehicles KO'd score 8 Axis (Conscript) 48 casualties (12 KIA) score 92 Allied Surrender. Axis Total Victory This stunning victory was acheived after the exchange of 120 files over at least two months. Sae, who get's tae prrronounce mae "SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard"? MacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard Edited to make the Axis KIA (12) instaid o' 912) [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-13-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: [bOh, and OGSF you manky Scots git. OGSF dozes off..Your slanderous attacks on me are the clearest proof, should any be needed, that so much of your brain is occupied with translating your remarks into your assumed Scottish patois, that no synaptic bandwidth is left for any higher intellectual functions, such as recognizing appropriate targets for your gibberish and attempts at challenge That said, should you insist on continuing your spittle-spraying in my direction, I shall have to check my rather busy PBEM schedule to see if a slot might be found for you, as you might be light enough to make the team of my opponents... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Errr, couldya nae come agin? Ah'm at a wee bit of a loss tae knoo if ye gwin tae step up fer a thrrrashin' at mah gnarly hands, or af'n yer ainly warmin' up tae a frrresh glass o' creme-de-menthe. Ah kin imagine at noo....Shawnicky gazin' intae tha middle distance, "Alas poor Yorick, Ah knoo ham, Horatio...eek! Tiger! Tiger!"... as mah wee little Hotchkiss comes clankin' o'er hill an' dale. Ye could enter tha Guinness Book o' Records fer bein' tha largest inflated bagpipe skin wi' a wee tear in it. Af'n ye got a pair, send a setup mah way.....cos Ah'm lookin' at yoo Jimmy! MacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastard [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 12-13-2000).]