OGSF

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: Has anyone noticed that we have yet to complete a Knight's Challenge<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If brains were dung you'd be hard pressed to muster a field mouse's morning flatulence. Hiram and I have been hacking away at that conscript and green populated foggy wet night map for a month and a half now. Wheezing, burping, shuffling invalid pensioners do not make an interesting and exciting map. A rash of scabs on the lining of your stomach and lungs would be much more interesting. So what is the brilliant idea for units on the next map? A blind half-wit banjo player vs Doris Stokes? OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy: OGSFIn other news OGSF launched a rather foolish attack on a building I occuppied, all troops that took part in the attack are either dead or captured.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Are you insane? "Foolish"? "FOOLISH"? It wasn't "foolish" now was it?! It was belly-numbing, eye-glazing, dribbling STUPIDITY!! What manner of incoherent, knuckle dragging imbecile would run a company of green troops across a court yard at a building occupied by a platoon of entrenched green troops under C&C? I'll tell you what sort manner it would be - the same manner who runs up to the VL location, gets there first, and proceeds to torch it and every building around it into a blazing wall. He then has no choice but to run around the end of the flames into the waiting guns of his enemy, who sits there wallowing in a hippo-snort of dumb luck. Stupid is as stupid does, and I gone and done it. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard BTW There's no-one left for your 105mm gun to shoot. They are all dead or captured! MWAHAHAHAHA!

MEEKS!!! HEY MEEKS! Ya sorry excuse for drip-dry toilet paper! Empty ya bloody mail box yer daft twit, yer moves are bouncing and I need to destroy your pathetic army! While I'm here... Stooks is getting a hiding. Lorak is getting a hiding. Hiram, can't tell....the bloody Kanniggets Joust is a painful carbuncle on my brilliant CM career. I wait 50 seconds per move for my little wheezers to actually start moving, which they then stop doing 10 seconds later. Speaking of painful carbuncle....Speedy is about to hand me a sound thrashing. I out foxed myself with my cunning tactics, and was then forced to assault a heavy building with my GREEN troops. I think his kitchen boy cut down a whole company single handed. Could be my worst defeat in the whole history of everything. Meeks has taken refuge behind his full mailbox. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

Hey Garry, Great looking mods! Can you tell me which mod was used for the trees in your screenshot? Cheers, OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

Wassa ma'er wi ye? Dinnae ye bastards post unna weekend? Ainly good fer takkin a wee rest orn yer pewer bosses tam? Wort a grreat buncha ABGBs! All tagaither noo..... As Ah came in by Ferrickside On a May mornin' I spied MacOGSF an hour afore the dawnin' Turrn agin, turrn agin, turrn agin Ah bid ye If ye burrn Auchen doon, Huntley he will heed ye Heed me, hing me, tha'll ne'er fear me Ah'll burrn Auchen doon afore the life leaves me. SANG!!! Ye slorvenly barckslidin' bastarrrrds! (The wee lassies present excepted, o'course). Ah hape the MacOGSF clan comes creepin' tae murrrder ye in ye beds! MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 11-11-2000).]

Ya grrreat festerin' boil on the slippery linin' o ma uncle's milkin' coows norstril passagez! Ye swagger in here and splash aboot lak ye oon the stankin' plaice! Ah've haid urethral swabs thet gimme a be'ah feelin' then yeoo, ya poostulent infection on a warty horgs bladder! If thar wer'ent wee lassies aboot Ah'd taill ye wo' Ah rrreally think o ye! All taigether noo, an' if ye dinna join in Ah'll scallop ye bollocks (if ye haid any, that is...)... Wah widnae fit for Charlie? Wah widnae draw the sword? Wah widnae up and rally at the Royal Prince's word? SANG! Ye grreat steamin' pile o sassanach underpants, still warm and damp fra gym class! Ah, pox on the lot o ye! MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by fdevassy: So please those i offended im sorry and please calm down.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wouldn't sweat it fdevassy. Folks get a little passionate about CM, for obvious reasons. I don't think any offence was taken from what I read above. :^) OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat: Burp! "Pardon"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ya gonna send me a setup or sit there talking about it while your pants stick to your legs? Meanwhile in slightly more important news: Lorak Dies in droves StukaPukaPants (Teehee - I said "pants") Is getting gob smacked on the sharp end of my defences. His Armor Attack vs my Infantry Defence is now an Infantry vs Infantry attack. Thasright, cleaned out his whole armor supply and not one AFV in my inventory. Bloated Boils He raves like Meeks only somehow a touch more human. But he will die just like Meeks. Hiram Tedum, tedum.....the terror has begun. My Volkstruum wheezers are even now getting tanked on schnapps, and will soon be charging slowly into the fog, name tags fixed. Their way will be lit by smouldering green Frenchies (ughh). As for the rest of you, flare your nostrils, pull the edges back over your heads, and chant "I am not an animal!" (ya bloody are, ya know!) OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 11-08-2000).] [This message has been edited by OGSF (edited 11-08-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat: Whaaaah! Whaaah! Sob! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It's a crime and a travesty. Okay Mr Roborattypoowiththe danglingdumplingdoodyfilledpants...if you would like to send me a setup I will begin to teach you about pain and humiliation. I am already engaged in a Kannigget Joust, so this will just be about handing you some whup ass, but a 600 point attack or defence QB with parameters of your choosing will suffice. You may attack or defend, whichever suits you. I prefer medium quality troops, anything else is fine. So be it.... OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

Well I'm just wondering now, can the stone "land" bridge be destroyed? The bridges over water can for sure. But that last bridge.....I couldn't kill it. If anyone wants to replicate my test I'll send you the file. That bridge over land just won't fall down. OGSF

I guess I don't like it when my opponenet tries to rush the VL, or scouts with crews or whatever. But in the end my task is to defeat him (her) whatever he tries. When I kill a scouting squad I think of the points I am gaining. When I take a VL in a meeting engagement, I consider myself the "defender" from that point on and set out to defend the area. If I am defending and my opponent tries a rush in the last few moves, either I am able to retain control of the VL or I lose. C'est le guerre OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

Okey Dokey. I've just destroyed three out of four types of bridges with King Tigers. Two wooden ones and a stone one. The three bridges destroyed spanned water. The fourth bridge is the one I have not been able to destroy with anything, and that is the stone bridge over land. OGSF PS Mr Captain Foobar Sir..."they" have been enquiring after you over in the Cesspool. Something about a game with someone...ummm,...Ronan? No, that's not right....someone new....

My testing ground involves a "land bridge" - which looks like it's stone. No water underneath. I just hit the thing with about two dozen direct hits (plus multiple near misses) from American 240mm artillery. Rockets might do it (if you can hit it) but them 240s' just made lopsided craters along the edge of the bridge. The road surface was intact. So what do the Allies use? OGSF

Right....in a second highly controlled scientifical hexperiment I swapped the previous impregnable stone bridge for a wooden bridge. The wooden bridge died in short order. Blew up and fell down. Then the trucks bought it. OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

I just conducted a controlled scientifical test by creating a scenario with one stone bridge five spans wide, eight Jumbo Shermans and ten Axis trucks. The trucks were necessary so the AI wouldn't auto surrender on the first move. My eight Shermies expended their ammo on the same section of the stone bridge. The bridge did not fall down. Perhaps if twenty Shermans fired all their ammo and then reloaded and did it again, the bridge might fall down. But I would not call that a destroyable bridge for practical game purposes. OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

Doesn't it make a difference what sort of bridge it is? I understood it to be that wooden bridges could be destroyed but stone bridges could not. I know some kind soul ran a series of tests some time back in another thread like this one and I thought that was the upshot. Personally I've never seen any sort of bridge destroyed in CM, but then I haven't played too many bridge scenarios. OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

Lorak! My Lord, Leige and Sponsor! Look proudly upon your Squire for I have this very night past handed the kannigget Sir Meeks of the Rampant Tree Rat Piddle a large plate of WHUP ASS!!! In a brilliantly fought defence which left the stinking village of Escargo sur Mer a blazing ruin, his vaunted attack by Canadian and French forces (supported by three Fireflys and some other rubbish), was ground down like a dried dog poo in a pre-schoolers playground. A Major Victory, 58 - 22. Please chalk it up in the Cesspool: OGSF - win, Meeks - loss Meanwhile, in other slaughters.... StukaNukaPukaPants - dies like the carp in a drought stricken billabong. Speedy - curse his luck for I have confounded myself. Very similar to the Trojan Rabbit situation where the knights forgot to get inside. But I will prevail and how much sweeter will be the victory when I do. Hiram - is moaning about the delay in being crushed by my hordes. Unfortunately the elastic snapped on the underpants of not one, but two, wheezing conscript Volksstrum Wal-mart greeters. As a result the mass stopped their headlong shuffle to help out with handy sewing kits and advice. The "dawdle of death" will continue as soon as he sends another turn back to me. Lorak - things seem to have settled back in to the usual pattern of his men dying a lot and my men doing the killing. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: OGSF, I hate to say it but victory is covered by FOW. You could both think you hold the position and, in reality, it's contested. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well strap me to an ant hill and smear my ears with jam! Fat lot of good those stats are on the console then! "Okay, your morale is really high, but it might not be. And your victory so far, is probably this, or not, as the case my be. Whoops, game over and the winner is the one with the highest bogus victory stats! Yay!!" Putchaw! I'll leave it to the body bag count then. Anyway, doom is impending on Stenchies hand-maiden and the only thing he can do about it is to run his green Frenchies (ugh!) off the map before it's too late. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Percentages pulled from your arse? I thought we had full FOW, Mr. Spankey. What gives? Being duplicitous? I'm still waiting for the polka party you promised. I have plent of folks ready to do the chicken dance. oh yeah <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oops! Correction - 33% v 8%. There, much better. Full FOW means we can't see units not in line of sight. It doesn't relate to the Morale and Victory stats on the console - you twittering hairless mole. And the polka party will arrive, if you manage to exchange another few turns. And while your green Frenchies (eeuuww!) might be ready for the chicken dance now, there may be a drastic reduction in their numbers before they find partners to dance with. BTW, my boys have been pacticing to "Psycho Chicken",so be afraid....be very afraid. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Semenchair: [bI was gratified to hear that you are smiting OGSF most thoroughly. Turn him into anchovie paste, and we'll smear it on Croda and make him swim across 'rat alley' at the south end of the 'Pool.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As far as I can tell, I think your Squire is smiting himself, although I try not too look too closely. Current victory stats are OGSF 38%, Hiram 4% (give or take). And the only troops I have near the VL is one panicked squad of wheezing, farting Volkstruum cowering in a hut some 100 meters away. Soon enough the disgrace and humiliation of your Squires misrepresentation and abject defeat will wash over your pustulent, withered body like the backwash from a Cesspool motor boat. Yo mama is so poor, her shadow weighs a hundred pounds. (I think that's right). OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: Humbug I say!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Meeks, you itinerant turnip toasting tippling typer of twaddle - send me a bloody turn and get what's coming to you. As for ahistorical defences, it's my understanding that the first thing the Germans did when defending a village under attack was burn the thing down. Tsk! OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerbastard

Bill, thanks for sharing! Great read. OberGrupenStompinFeuhrer

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune: Anyone want one of my evil creations? Rune Commander Army of the Porcupine<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You can sling one my way, if you please. OGSF

Hello again, you wretched pox-ridden squabbling scum, ...and ladies. Quite right, Mr Meeks, confounded and out foxed again it seems. Please don't surrender before I have the pleasure of hearing the ripping thuds of Heer lead smacking into your abhorrent contingent of Quebec militia. StukaPukaPants - attacks my paltry infantry defence with his armour, and dies like a cane toad cricket ball. Keep moving forward Stooks, not all of my men have gotten to kill something yet. Speedy - foggy day, green infantry meeting green infantry. Come and warm yourself around the roaring fires. Come on lad...no good skulking back there in the mist. Lorak - some minor success in the last turn. A fleeting thing of course, but he actually managed to shoot some of the hamstertruppen walking towards his men in the woods. But the general tide moves on. Speaking of my esteemed sponsor... HiramKnockKnockBuggerOffSedai - I have been toying with his green Frenchies (ughh!) in the Kannigget Joust. Soon, soon my pets, very soon the world will come crashing down around his confused and aimlessly wandering Voul-et-Vents.....what price then his "I hold the Victory Location"? As for the rest of you, remember to chew the lumps. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks: First there is OGSF, who set up an Assault at night in the fog and he was the Germans. In case the rest of you have never, ever played CM the Germans are the only side that has SMG squads and flamethrower HTs. So, naturally, I fight him to a draw. Dudley Dick's been hit with a brick and can't stop bloody whining! Assault means the flags are right at the back of the map. I plowed my lads right into the middle of his strongest defences and fried their snivelling butts. Meeks begs for a ceasefire, whcih I gave him - for a draw. What's the next map? Another Assault, by him, at night. And who sent the setup, you cloth-eared git? *Puppy eyes gaze back, vacant, tongue lolling as Meeks pants stupidly* It was YOU...you chattering Chittagong chipmunk! Due to his timely sacrifice of a virginal warthog, he manages to achieve an Extremely Minor Victory. My copy of the surrender file says it was a "Major Victory". Perhaps you are still dwelling on YK2's sig. So in the next game, I get to assault him, turnabout being fair play, right? The only soldier left to surrender was a prepubescent, dog-shooting little girl. Thereby setting our record at 1-1-1. The dachshund was a demmed Jerry spy - you blew his cover (BAUHAUS...NO!) and now decide to cast nasturshians. But dear Meeks, dear, dear, slime dripping snot flavored Meeks...why were you so successful in the third game? Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and the way you mimicked my tactics from the first game was indeed flattering. And cute. And kind of cuddley. Bless you pet! *tousles Meek's fur* So do I get to Assault him again? No, he decides he's had enough and sets up a normal map. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'll smash his little noggin on the rocks, but I am demanding a demerit against the twit. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Stomping around the 'Pool with a stick of salami taped to your inside thigh and squealing like the fat man in Deliverance doesn't fool anyone. You've met your match and you don't like it. Yo may now pick your nose until your head caves in. OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard