jshandorf

Steve, you sound, err...read upset. I know what will cheer you up. Head over to my new thread and answer my question! Yeah! Nothin like a good question answering to chase away the blues. Jeff

Nothing makes me happier than knowing that my title for DinkFeather has stuck better than fresh crap to the side of a tolietbowl. If only he was as easily scrubbed away... Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: As for Tiger, well, I don't know him and I don't care. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I care... *cackle* Jeff

I can see this for infantry ambushes but for AT guns and tanks the range is something like 500 meters, I think. I am not sure but I know there is a limit. Why is this? Sometimes I want to ambush out to 750m+. Why can't I? Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars: It’s a shame none of you will be there as then I would have the chance to push you into a prop. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I am not some fanboy of Lars, but dammit, that comment was just too funny. That is my kind of humor. Push you into a prop. Ha! *cackle* Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by WineCape: Dare I ask for a DAR/AAR for the above 2 matches? I know Shandorf is "compelled" to an AAR/DAR otherwise he will not be allowed to return to the Peng thread ... Kind regards, Charl Theron<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> In the past when I played Fionn more often than not he would always talk me into doing an AAR turn by turn. Damned if it didn't make getting out turns even more difficult. Not only did I have to plot my moves I had to actually justify them in writing! Oh, the horror. Secretly I came to believe Fionn only wanted me to write the AARs so he could gloat over his bone crushing victories. But anyway, if you guys would like an AAR I suppose I could do it again. There is two ways I could do this: 1)Give the AAR here every fews turns or so. 2) Write up a turn by turn AAR. The things to consider with both options are: 1) I can't be real specific about what my plans and intentions are since the battle is ongoing. 2) You won't get it until we are done, and considering Fionn is the Potato nation we only got 1 possibly 2 turns out a day in the past. Thus it will be 2 weeks at best before you guys see anything. Jeff [ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

Don't underestimate the power of a million candle watt light shining straight at you in complete darkness. You can't see crap let alone the source of the light. Jeff

Nice to see the CM sycophants are still hard are work.

Murry A.K.A Claymore.... Roger that, but can we added the addendum there will be no Sdzk/7 purchases? I hate those buggy uber trucks. BTW Superted and I just started our deployment. When I got Ted's email and the attachment he mentioned about not being shocked when I see the map. Wasn't quite sure what he meant until I opened the game to deploy my troops. HOLY CRAP! THE MAP IS A FRICKIN POOL TABLE! And I am NOT kidding when I say pool table. It is as flat and perfectly free of any debris, such as bushes let alone a tree, as the head on Panzer Leader's favorite beer. I am dead! I didn't buy some Uber armored outfit. My men are going to die horrific and quick deaths! Oh, the horror! Jeff P.S. Treeburst, you suck. [ 07-20-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please! Nooooooooo! Not again! My eyes!

Wait a minute.... Claymore.. when did we negotiate? Did we? Hell.. I can't remember. I know I did some negotiations with SuperTed. What the hell did we decide? Okay... Listen up! Murray! Claymore! and Superted! Here is what i can last remember about out statuses. Claymore: I have no clue. E-mail me at jshandorf@mediaone.net and lets rehash what we settled on. Superted: Negotiations are done. 1. Blind map 2. 100 point area limit on deletions. Murray: We are still in negotiations. E-mail me also at jshandorf@mediaone.net I am going to make up a form letter with my standard conditions. Also...just to remind people, you might want to consider banning that Sdkz/7 AA truck. People have had problems with it in the past and I noticed one of my opponents bought one, so all future games will have that banned as a requirement. Jeff

As JD stands quietly waiting for his LordShip reply he looks helpless and weak. The sweat beeds on his forehead as he stand petrified like a deer caught in headlights. jshandorf leans forward from his spot in the crowd and whispers almost inaudibly in Croda's ear. jshandorf: Damn, I'm sure glad I am not on trial here. Croda solemnly shakes his head in agreement. jshandorf: and damn if Shaw's suit doesn't just fit to perfection. Like a drooling retard Croda's head continues to sway in a forward and reverse motion. Like a hypnotized cobra, Croda looks on with fascination. One has to wonder, is it the trial, or Shaw's suit? Suddenly a loud banging is heard from the bench as his Lordship pounds his gavel repeatedly down His Lordship: Silence! I will have silence in my court room! If I cannot have silence from you cesspool baboons, I will have you cleared out! He scans the crowd closely and then without effort speaks once more in a calm authoritive voice. His LordShip: Well, Mr. Morse, that was a pretty little speach, but I must tell you to shut yer stinkin' pie hole and sit down! It is the prosecution's turn! You will get your turn in due time! With that Morse plants himself firmly and quietly into his chair. As if his ass was made of steel and his chair was a magnet. [ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Disgusting sucking up... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I suggest you remove thy nose from Mr.Spock's rear end. To hold anything but utter contempt for Mr.Shlock is simplying not trying hard enough. Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: I suck. No really, I do. See? (Exposes large wound with huge sucking sound coming from it) This is my hole of suckitude. This is where I suck the greatest. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh.. I just love play 400 point battles.. Oooo...ahhhh...what...fun... You suck, and I am gonna prove it by clubbin' you like the baby harp seal you are. Oh, you may look all warm, fuzzy and cute, but I much prefer you dead and drug from the back of my truck. As for the, "Oooo.. I'm too busy to play anther game. My brain hurts." You are playing FOUR games?! You whimp! I have played 15 games in one stint, and won most of them! Maybe the reason I am such a pain in the ass to you is because it is the shortest route to your brain? Hmmm? Phhhhttt! Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Treeburst155: Jshandorf, Claymore must agree to start a game with you before I can issue a map. If you want to play blind he must agree to that too before I can advise you of the month to choose your forces from.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know that... I was hoping he would post here and agree... But I concure... I will acost him privately. Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Claymore: Anyone else care to start up with me? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes. Yes. You seem very evil to me...goooood. I wish to play you now. Lets us play the map blind, you gamey, that is, smelly, bastard. Mikey! Send us e-mails with the date and the map we are to play. Muahahahaha! Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Finally, now that he is losing rather badly, shandorf can't seem to stop whining about how horrible the scenario we are playing is. Hmmm. It probably has nothing to do with the fact that he (1) didn't scout the village before attacking; (2) divided his forces into three parts, none of which are in any position to support each other; or (3) his flagrant disregard for anything approaching decent tactics. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Two conscript squads my ass. You have a company of Inf WITH 1 or possibly two artillery spotters. Probably 81mm and 120mm. I am positive about the 81mm spotter, but I would have to go back and check out the movie for the 120mm spotter. I have 3 platoons for paratroops and 1x 105mm spotter. And you know what I say to that? Whoptie-f*cking-doo. What an utterly uninspiring scenario. It about as flat and boring as the first girl you probably slept with, I would gamble. What a canned piece of crap. I shouldn't have expect any better from some smelly ASL shut-in. Sheesh. Come to think of it....you have to be right up there in the top 5 of "The Lamest Opponents I Have Played", and trust me...I have played some lame opponents. At this point I would rather play Dalem than you again. Atleast he takes it on the chin like a man and doesn't send me canned crap straight from some "awesome" ASL conversion that gaurantees himself a win. You wussy. Besides... This game is meaningless and I am giving it about as much attention as a crack baby gets from his strung out mother joansing for another score. I can't wait until I had your ass to you in our little tournament game you have ignored my calls for us to play. Just die. Anyway.... on a lighter note. GAME UPDATES Oh, WOW! My game with Berli has been a pendulum of emotions. On the second turn it looked like Berli was handing me my ass on a silver platter with his "Tank and Enginering squad rush" across the bridge. Which practically obliterrated a platoon of PanzerGrenadiers I had sent forward, but alas it was not to be... Berli's little tank convoy got backed up and he oh so predictably tried to back them out. Little did he know I had a Panther watching the cross angle on the bride.. oh and lets not forget the two platoons I had nearby for the couter attack I was planning to throw since the beginning. MUahahahahah! It is now turn 4, or is it 5? And ALL of Berli's tanks are dead. Count 'em... five tanks. 1x 76mm, 1x Croc, and 3x vanilla M4s. Looking pretty grim.... Okay.. for my other tourney game against Mick the depraved Aussie. This are going slow. We are playing this map with a freaking HUGE hill in the center which pretty much blocks us from seeing each other. The flags are smack dab on the top so I have been playing it safe so far. While Micky boy decided we wanted to march a couple squads up on the hill. Needless to say they didn't appreciate the 105mm VT arty that came in a turn later. Fancy Lad He is throwin himself into this one like a veteran stripper hits her pole, with fury and a death grip. Too bad it has done nothing but cause him casualties. In my time of playing I have discovered that it is the desperate man that targets houses as a way to destroy infantry. Not that I blame him... Just noting he is desperate... Seanchai this one is over he just doesn't know it yet. Peng Could I possible hold more pity for man and his tactics. He is the only opponent I shake my head in sadness as I target his exposed infantry with my spotters. Tis a sad, sad thing. Marlow Heeeeeey, it haven't got a turn back form this slimey bastard in while. Must be pissed off at me for purchasing Tigers again.. Hey! I stayed historical.. I bought SS infantry. Piss off, Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak: LMAO!!! Shandorf, how in the hell do you expect us to believe you stand any chance in this tourny, hell any chance in life at all, if you constantly miss the obvious. Those games were posted by me and if you care to look, you will see the post on page 3 of this thread. Maybe you should think about re-looking at the maps a couple more times before you press done in the future. Lorak the loathed<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Dammit! That was the page where Organ boy posted all that crap and then Meeks and Cruda came back, so I breezed through most of it only giving it a passing glance. Dammit again! Bah! I still enjoy berating you even if it's unwarranted. Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr: Sit down shandorf, I'm already bleeding your forces out in our other PBEM (and I notice you haven't returned a turn since I WAXED an entire platoon of your infantry at the cost of one toothless old geezer). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, maybe that is because I already sent out your turn to you days ago and I am now waiting for the turn back. Mr.Smack, I will play you in our tourney game. As for the sissy ASL scenario you have me playing, with my disgust mind you, we can continue that silly little game. Jeff

Damn you, Lorak! You are going to be the death of me! Once again I posted results and you completely missed them! Yet, Fancy Lad comes in here and does the same and you get the results up one post later!? What's wrong with you, man!? Have you nothing better to do than to wait at my beck and call to post my triumphs?! Fool! Anyways.... LOSERS: JD and Bauhaus WINNER: Me you idiot? Who did you expect?! As for the rest of you sorry bastards... I will get turns out tonight. Because of my recent acqusition of WWII Online and my subsequent online play, (or shall I say, Beta testing? It's really not that bad) my interest in CM has wained. Just like Croda-meat's Mom wained him from her breast just last week. That is, he's found a better boob to suck. I must say though... Nothin quite like the feeling of brewing of Frenchies in country side. Jeff

Just to piss off those of you that paid way to much for your Giga-whatver PIII... I took a Celeron 600, which is a coppermine PIII ecept with 128k cache, and over clocked it to 900 MHz. No problem. Only cost me 70 bucks with all the parts (Fan, Converter card, processor). So naaaaaah. Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panzerwerfer42: If schurzen is such a big word why is "metal skirts" taking up more space?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Do you see what I mean people? Please...someone shoot me. Make the bad man stop. Jeff

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gunnergoz: And your point is...? So take it back with some interesting observations of your own! Captivate us! Get us fired up! Grogs will blather on unless you seize their (limited) interest beyond such minutiae. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey, I was havin' a groovy time rippin' on History Channel, next thing you know I am picturing Amored Skirts and Panther IIs. WTF?! BTW, PL, I always liked the thought that they named the jeep after that cute little bugger on popeye. "Geep! Geep!" The jeep won the war... yeah right, whatever. Next thing ya know they are gonna tell us the French Resistance made a difference. Shaaaa, right. Only differences the French made in the war were the STDs they passed on to the German troops, and then eventually our soldiers. Smelly bastards. Jeff [ 07-11-2001: Message edited by: jshandorf ]

I bitched about this to Steve a while back, and whether or not you believe it is better to fire the Main Gun at infantry or the MG is really moot. The fact was that in earlier revs tanks were not using their Main Gun on infantry, which regardless of the effectiveness, they did ALOT in actual combat. I was having infantry running to and fro, 500 meters to 50 meters from my tanks with them refusing to fire or really even ackknowledge the presence of the infantry. I bitched a bunch and finally Steve took a look at it and within the last few patches the "problem" was fixed. And believe me when I say I actually noticed the difference. So, what does this mean? It means that if you think that tanks don't fire their main guns enough at INF now, imagine what it was like before. Jeff

Pretty typical... Get an interesting topic going and you can expect it to be hijacked by some grogs who take it kicking and screaming down some dark, boring corridor filled with big german words that refer to "metal skirts". Bah. Jeff