Lars

Once again Gentlewyrms, Place Your Bets! Place Your Bets! For your entertainment we now present the second matchup of SSN scum. StinkinOrgan has also requested a game of “Crodaburg”. Seems “Jabo!” just wasn’t his cup of tea. The race for the bottom of the Cess continues. Who will get the low score in this one? StinkinOrgan or Buzzbuzzbuzz? Place Your Bets! Place Your Bets! In the first matchup of SSN scum in “Jabo!”: StinkinOrgan – running like hell, actually is doing rather well for “Jabo!”. PoopooWiper4/2 – needs to send a fecking turn. Hear me boy? StinkinOrgan, I admire your spirit but I question your sanity. BTW, Happy Birthday Mace, did you get the cake with the dancing ewe inside? Check this link and let me know if you need any particular pics. http://www.cafsmw.org/AirPowerDisplay/aircraft01.shtml edited to add they just updated the list http://www.cafsmw.org/airshow/aircraft.html [ 08-03-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

Try "LarsvsChad001". Now you know who you are playing and all you have to do is change the last number every turn. Also download a PBEM utility, makes life easier. See the FAQ. {edited cuz Soddball beat me to the Elvis thingy} [ 08-02-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

Regarding MG’s jamming in cold weather, this is also a problem for rifles. It is due to the lubricant freezing up and jamming the firing mechanism. The typical low tech solution is to clean the rifle completely and go with no lubricant whatsoever. I’ve had this problem ONCE. Never again. A light spray of WD-40 to prevent rust and nothing else.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mouse: Lars, I woulda won if the AI hadn't auto-surrendered! It was a cheat, I tell ya! I was the best, I was king of the world! The last turn shows his broken and earth-hugging troops surrounded on ALL sides by my advancing troops. And another thing: I had one platoon of tank riding SMG troops, the rest were standard heer. On the other hand [semi-serious] I have to congratulate you on a victory I thought was imposible. You have disproven my theory about Allied defenders. And while my assault wasn't stellar, it was straight-forward and standard, the type I would expect an average attack to go, and you had me at every turn. Good work, [/semi-serious] you useless waste of human flesh. Instruct your master to give you an extra half-helping of borscht at tonights meal. I'll buy. Take note, pooligans: My opinion has officially changed. It is possible to win against the assault, even as the Allies. It doesn't even take brains to do it, just an unflagging Swedish spirit, you know the kind -- it refuses to leave WELL AFTER everyone else has gone home.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Excuse me, I was surrounded? A fighting retreat, with plenty of space traded for time, but that last flag was MINE. The only troops you may have surrounded was the platoon in my secondary line of defense. If you want to call being overrun by arty observers, crews, company headquarters and squad remnants surrounded, so be it. I retract the SMG accusation though, I only checked the living, not the piles of dead. BTW I’m Danish, dammit. Check the spelling of the last name. Larsen=Danish. Larson=Swedish. Your genealogy lesson for the day. If you persist in calling me Swedish I will have no choice but to demand satisfaction. Now I’m off to celebrate Swedish Flag Day. Why the hell not? Any excuse for a drink will do, might as well get a early start.

Ladies and Gentlewyrms of the Pool, Tis a sad, sad day in the history of the MBT. To remind you of the particulars, I challenged “Mr. Allies can’t win against an Assault” to a little dance on the field of glory. Last night I was the recipient of the following e-mail: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Bad luck dude. Hey, that was a pretty stiff defense you had there. The miracle M10 didn't hurt either. I can't BELIEVE he got my KING tiger from 800 yards before I ever fired a shot. THat is the first and last time I ever get one of those pieces of CRAP. Good game, now I must gloat. Jason Barnes, a.k.a. Panzer Leader<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Imagine my consternation at receiving such a message. I rushed to open the file and what do I find? The AAR by the numbers then. Axis 204 casualties 5 vehicles knocked out 75 men OK 44 score Allies 111 casualties 9 captured 1 gun knocked out 1 vehicle knocked out 64 men OK 56 score Allied Minor Victory That’s right folks, Mouse lost. I suffered through such gamey tactics as crew and artillery observer rushes (which I was informed weren’t gamey unless they happen at the end of the battle) and hordes of SMG squads. Please also take note of the presence of a Kingtiger. At the end Mouse held two flags with a lone crew while I held one flag with a reinforced platoon. The poor lad had his ass handed to him and didn’t even know it. Next time check the AAR first. Seanachai, your Squire is broken, please fix or do somfink! Lorak, please scribe thusly’ Lars – Victorious and enjoying his Bourbon. Mouse – Ignoble Defeat and crying in his Shirley Temple. p.s. Good Luck von shrad, pinch a few nurses, you’ll feel better.

“born a fool, died a sage” Could refer to either Sancho or his Knigget. Note that wisdom is only attained on their death when it will do them no good whatsoever. Buzzbuzzbuzz, you were right about MrSpkr straining his brain with the scenario editor. Enjoy it, as it will be the last time you will be right this year. It looks like its “Crodaburg” for you, laddie. The setup will be on the way this evening.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally gibbered by buzzbuzzbuzz: I have updated my profile so that you will not embarrass yourself again by appearing to believe that I am actually a Capybara rancher. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> When you put in your profile that you are from Brazil and a rat farmer, of course I would take it at face value. Now I see that you are from the land of fruits and nuts and that you are a bug farmer. This is not an improvement. Should have stuck with the rats. As soon as I find MrSpkrs file in my inbox, your destruction will be winging its way to you, bugboy. MrSpkr, thank you for the okra. Having tasted it many years ago when I lived in Texas, I immediately took a vow to never eat it again. You may rest assured that it will all find its way to my liege Shaw. It looked like it needed more saltpeter so I threw another pinch in, it can only make it taste better. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by Mace: In fact, never will I be observed on a rat…because the wee little buggers keep moving. Now for penance send me any photos of the B25J, pengdammit!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I didn’t bother to take any of the B25’s as I have piles of photos from previous shows. I will check my archives though. I assume you want pics of the tailgunner position. Good luck with the perversio….err…. passions thing. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by Geier: Newps!!! You dare showing up with piccies of poxy Nieups? No doubt the lethal N28 since that death trap was mostly assigned to American squads by The French to keep their death rates up. If it is a N17 or N24/23 I'll forgive you. It is a single seater isn't it?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Of course it is a single seater. Two seaters are for people who liked to be annoyed by passengers. A N17 I believe, have to see how the film turns out. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> No, stop sobbing. Here is what we will do, we'll play "The Kall Trail" by Moon instead. I'll get the Allies since: Best played as: Head-to-head or American vs. German AI; mind you, this is not an easy victory as the Allies, especially in head-to-head. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, I haven’t played this one. Send it along. I enjoy letting Germans die in the mud. And believe me, with my own version of AI in charge of the sausage eaters, they are not long for this earth.

I get back from a weekend in heaven at Oshkosh and have to read through 7 (seven) pages of this drivel to get caught up. I knew I should have swiped that B-25J, there are a few here who deserve a good strafing. Geier, you smelly Swede, if you like old crates like Neuports, I have your photo. Do you like reeking of castor oil or does it just bring back fond childhood memories? You could of had a pic of a JU-52 signed by the pilot but each to his own I guess. poopoowiper4/2, you complete idjit, you owe me a turn. Damn SSN. Who is this "bucktooth" SSN that you want me to take care of Lord Shaw? I go back and read through all his post and what do I find? That's right, not a damn thing. Sigh, the job of a Squire, polish this, fetch that, find my drink, pour another, it just never stops I tell you. So then I look at his profile and find out that he is a, shudder, RAT FARMER! And not just any rats, GIANT F*ING RATS! Who in their right mind would raise RATS? It's almost as troubling as thinking about who would buy GIANT F*ING RATS! I can hardly bear to think about life down on the ranch: 'Scuse me, honey, time to slop the RATS! Watch out, it's a RAT stampede! Mace, get off that RAT, they breed fast enough! Time to milk the RATS, they're gettin ornery again! Need to sell a few more of the RAT-faced in-laws, have to save the farm! It's not a RAT, it's a Siberian Hamster! "bucktooth", I only accept to this challenge because Mickey would screw it up beyond all redemption. Send a setup, MrSpkr, and I will endevour to render satisfaction. His life is obviously already a living hell so make it something that only a rodent farmer would truly enjoy.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> posted by the tainted judge: Whats sad about the whole thing is that I don't know why Priest hates us so much. I played the guy in a CPX battle and invited him to the pool long, long ago. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Lord Shaw, I believe we might be looking at a case of judicial misconduct here. It would explain Seanachai's rather light sentence. At the very least, looking into it would up your billable hours. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> posted by some Swede who couldn't get on the boat: 1. Anything flown by a Jasta 5 pilot (Mai preferably, Konnecke or Rumey are alright) or 2. A Pfalz DIIIa or DXII or 3. A Spad VII or XIII <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right, shouldn't be too much of a problem at this airshow. And now I'm out of here! Mwuhahahaha! [ 07-27-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

Man, your good.

Hmm, I thought I could help you out but it doesn't look good. This is what I found: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 8. Data. Some time ago I've tried to find Russian maps in Internet. There was a big problem. It looks like they are, but actually they aren't. You can't order digital base maps via Internet in Russia. You even can't find out do such maps exist or not. If they are, you can't find out their scales. The same things are with DTM and other types of geodata. RS data is like a spot of light on this background. Using Internet you can receive information about presence of satellite images for any terrain you need in Russia, quicklooks for these images and prices. The best situation is with images from Russian satellite Resurs-O1. Also there are meteorological maps and small-scale images received from meteorological satellites. We can find them in Russian Internet without any problem. Also there are obvious disinclination of Russian organizations to share data for free (sure, there are some exceptions). So, existing Russian data could be obtained with difficulties and this leads to situation, when almost all developers of GIS-projects need create base maps firstly (use existing paper maps, digitize and make them up-to-date afterwards or use space images). Majority of project developers in Russia make all the work from the very beginning. 9. Interest to business mapping is dramatically weak in Russia. Industry, environment and urban systems - here are the main interests of Russians in GIS. 10. Policy of military secrets. Space images with resolution 2 meters and higher are totally secret in Russia and cannot be used in public systems. Images with resolutions 4 meters and better cannot be used if this territory contains military objects. Maps with scale 1: 50000 and better are totally secret too. Also in Russia is not allowed to determine coordinates with GPS or by any other methods with accuracy better, then 30 meters. So, data in Russian GIS cannot be very precise. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now if you want a map of Moscow, Minnesota, I can help.

We want Killer Tomatos! We want Killer Tomatos! We want Killer Tomatos!

Updates: Mouse: Running out of crews and arty observers to rush at the Flags. Communist’s Member: Running like hell in “Jabo”. Our other game is still too close to call but I’m sure he is losing this one as well. Poopoowiper4/2: Running off for a week’s vacation. Let’s all hope he gets another week off. Now, I also will be running off for four days to the EAA Fly-in. It will be just me and 12,000 airplanes. Ahh, the smell of kerosene, the roar of old radials and the napalm drop on the main runway, it is not to be missed. So no files for you stinkin SSN’s until Monday. Nor you, Mouse. It’s a shame none of you will be there as then I would have the chance to push you into a prop. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier: In fact, I'll play Into the East against any takers, I just need to finish it first. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Alright then you smelly Swede (redundant, I know), I expect a setup in my inbox when I get back. If you should somehow win, I’ll send you photos of a Vickers Vimy from the airshow. This will have to hold you for now. http://www.airventure.org/2001/wednesday25/vimy.html If I win, you’ll send me…wait a minute, Sweden doesn’t have anything other than Swedes, and I’m up to my ass in them here anyway. So if I win, just promise not to emigrate. [ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

Boy, I hate people who never clean out their e-mail inbox. Almost as bad as those who number their turns.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: 50 bucks on Lardo!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sorry there, me lad, but the bets are to be placed for the low score. Do learn to read the rules before placing your bet. Now, toddle off and return the file, that's a good chap.

A small update, this just came over the wire. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Stalin's Organ: Yep - send me a set-up for that too!! :0 Never seen the game, bit it keeps gettign trotted out as Rune's worst effort ever - I guess there's a lot of allied fighter bombers involved!!??<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Place your bets! Place your bets! We're giving even odds, who's it gonna be? Stalin's Organ or Panzerwerfer42? The battle of the SSN's is on! Who's gonna have the lower score? Place your bets! Place your bets! p.s. Thank you, Dread Lord Protector! your loyal Squire, Lars

The latter. If not that, they just nuke 'em in August of 45

Take a screenshot, dump it in your paint progam, annotate away. Flip screen while playing. Problem solved.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by poopoohead4/2: My sweet little Lard, after your complete crushing upon the battlefield, I shall smear your pathetic, mutilated body upon the street. I will have my dog devour what is left of you. There you will be reduced to the worthless piece of ****e that you are. I will then allow you the honor of fertilizing my lawn. Are you man enough to fight me? Or are you going to running crying back to master? [ 07-19-2001: Message edited by: panzerwerfer42 ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Once again to the 30 second clock: Picked some specific. Yep. Offered challenge. Yep. Sounded off like he had a pair. Somewhat small but Yep, they’re in the dirty diaper. *BUZZzzz* We have a winner, er, loser! My Liege Joe Shaw, if this sophomoric challenge meets with your approval, would you be so kind as to send a nice little scenario to inflict upon the still wet behind the ears poopoohead4/2? I realize that it has the wit, humor, style and panache of a kindergarten playground squabble held under the teetertotter about who will get to eat the worms, but given his tender years it is probably the best we can hope for. His profile mentions that he enjoys things that explode in the sky, “Jabo!” perhaps. Well, whatever you think is best, Sire. I’m sure you will have something suitable. I leave it in your capable hands.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> The Dread Lord Protector Joe Shaw: any challenges should contain a modicum of WIT, of HUMOR, of STYLE or PANACHE. So far Penny Loafer00 is lacking ANY of the above. You have my permission to fight the stinking SSN, but make sure he offers a GOOD challenge in accordance with CessPool tradition.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thank you, Noble Sire, thank you. But judging by the quality of his "WIT, HUMOR, STYLE and PANACHE" (bolded so pansywoofer might actually read it and have it sink in to his pea size brain) it doesn't look to likely. If he should disturb your legal research again, he will be smited most harshly. p.s. Regarding "SSN Ain't Short for Nuclear Submarine YOU TWIT" , would a dissertation on "SSN's, will they ever go so deep as to Implode?" suffice? [ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by pansywoofer42: Well I have an offer for you. How about a swill of some nice stale fermented urine? That too is made right here, straight from the old ones then left to ferment in the stable with the pissboys. I'll even let you keep the ladle, but only if you drink all of it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Resetting the 30 second clock: Picked some specific. Yep. Offered challenge. Nope. Sounded off like he had a pair. Yep. *BUZZzzz* Yo time is up again! Please see the very first post in the MBT. RuPaul, what do we have for the little tyke. More Cess Hard Lemonade? Excellent, RuPaul, he obviously needs another draught. [ 07-18-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by panzerwerfer42: So Lard wishes to defend his feeble old Kannigget? Well then, I shall have to destroy him on the field of battle. What have you to say now Loaf?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmm, must set the 30 second clock: Picked some specific. Yep. Offered challenge. Yep. Sounded off like he had a pair. Nope. *BUZZzzz* Yo time is up! So sorry, but we do have a nice consolation prize for you. Cess Hard Lemonade, the drink that will put a lurch in your step and a sneer on your lips. Made with the finest ingredients and bottled right here. Please return the ladle when you are done as there is definitely a deposit on it. Better luck next time, pansywoofer42, do try again...or not.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> The Dread Lord Protector of the MBT, the esteemed Joe Shaw: Yes Lars but you must remember that lawyers do that ALL THE TIME. THEY call it using "precedents" ... we know that it's just because they are too lazy and stupid to come up with something original.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Quite right, my Liege, it does seem lawyers enjoy quotations and precedent. It must save so much original thought. And to think that they double bill the hours for it too. Pray continue with your brilliant opening arguments. Anyone in the peanut gallery needing a swift kick in the butt from the bailiff, Sir Joe? Oh, I see. Well, let me assist you then with the yapping curs. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> pansywoofer42: I am infinitely more capable of passing horribly wretched gas.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Born and bred to it, eh? Is the 42 your smokehole bore size? *KICK* <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Stained tinkler: I am completely bewildered by a low life dung beetle perusing my fine offering.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Try washing it first. Even the dung beetle will thank you. *KICK* <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Terrified: I am the chittering ground squirrel of the Peng thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We could tell by your own oh-so-imaginative post. Borrow a pair since you don’t have a pair of your own. *KICK* Roight then, you SSN’s, quit disturbing these already quite disturbed proceedings. Now sit in the back of the courtroom and shut your pie holes or I shall taunt you a second time.

jdmorse stole the whole damn thing from Shakespeare. "The Tragedy of Julius Caeser", Act 3, Scene 2, Antony's speech to the Romans. He should be brought up on charges of plagerism, literary grogism and disbarred. Just goes to show that legal counsel is worth what you pay for it.

Ah, your setup will be in the mail this evening. A nice 1500 point QB ME, random the works, computer buys. I'll let you be the Brits. Play with the mouse and not yourself, and you might have a chance. Till then, piss off.