David Aitken

Fairies. In frilly pink dresses with lace wings on the back. Waving a magic wand with a shiny star on the end and prancing around in ballet pumps. Wearing silver eyeliner with glitter. You all take one glance at a tank or a gun and squeal and cover your eyes because it looks so frightfully brutish. Did I say I dreampt that Emma Bunton spoke to me last night? I feel bad, because I'm sure there are a lot of Spice Girls fans who would kill for that dream, but it was wasted on me. The entity on Croda's forum bearing the moniker Cringe and an effigy of a Hamstertruppen is, as I'm sure you're all too thick to work out, me. This is the most accurate one-word description of my mentality. Cringe, not Hamstertruppen. Someone tell Stuka that I've been on the Peng Thread since before his wife was born, and when I bore him with several paragraphs of mind-numbing prose it's because he's a moron and not because I'm the bastard child of Jeff Heidman and TeAcH. May you all sleepwalk down the road tonight brandishing a hunting rifle and yelling "Come out, ye Kraut/Jerry bastards so I can introduce ye all to the joys of die-a-lot!!", and are subsequently gunned down by police marksmen. Good night.

Leeo wrote: > Perhaps we should set up an international commission now so that we may determine which country next gets the horror (um, I mean honor) of hosting the Peng Challenge thread? Perhaps you should do something to convince us that your posts are worth reading before you start trying to run the place?

Stefan Fredriksson wrote: > it was said that Costner's accent was probably closer to the real thing than you would expect. Are we talking about Robin Hood? I don't think Costner was trying for an English accent in that film. He just used his own US accent. I think a lot of Americans could be fooled into thinking it was authentic, because in certain respects, a stereotypical English accent is not that far from a US accent. But Nottingham forest is not London, and accents from that part of the country are far more obviously British. [This message has been edited by David Aitken (edited 03-19-2001).]

No-one forced you to go. =P

coralsaw wrote: > What destroyed the whole movie for me though was the profanely out-of-character scene of the noble German soldier (Knight's Cross) where he uses the child as a bait. Remember the kid had been selling him out. Was he just going to say "You're a naughty boy for trying to get me killed, now run along!"? If Sacha had just been a bystander then it would have been strange, but he was actively trying to have König seen to.

And now... What have the evil Nazis come for? Read on! Part 1 here. Is it curtains for Bauhaus? Is CM2 doomed to be a flashy but worthless FPS? Find out... umm... later!

Bozza wrote: > Um, excuse my newbiness but why is every thread like this called "Peng"\ something-or-other"? The original thread was started by Seanachai and titled "Peng, I Take Our Challenge Public!". It was about a challenge between Seanachai and MrPeng, in case that was a bit too convoluted for you. Now go and do a subject-line search for "Peng", read all the previous threads, and don't come back until you're finished. David PS. That was the polite answer. The normal answer would be along the lines of "Bugger the hell off you worthless newbie scum git sheep lover!", although that particular combination is reserved for the likes of PeterNZ and Mace.

Andrew Hedges wrote: > if you don't have a love story, you've probably got to have something like a "buddy film." Yup, male bonding. The centre of all the current controversy about female infantry.

TeAcH wrote: > Well David, I strongly disagree with your idea of why they needed to include the love story. Thanks for letting me know. > Some of the best war movies did NOT have them and were better movies because of it. Saving Private Ryan didn't have one. Platoon didn't have one. This is why I made my point about Weisz's character being a soldier. The US army had no female infantry in either the Second World War or the Vietnam War, so who would the woman be? A French local? A Vietnamese prostitute? > Patton didn't have one, etc, etc, etc. Umm, Patton was ostensibly a true story. If the man concerned had had a romance, so would the film. > It was foolish and unnecessary and detracted (for me) from the real story at hand (Russians locked in a desperate struggle for their country in Stalingrad and a great sniper duel). This is why I made my point about focus. The story is not true. If it had nothing but fighting, it would seem like an accurate account instead of the drama it is. If you see it as a documentary, the romance will get in the way – but if you appreciate it as a drama, there's nothing wrong with it. I think a lot of film critics were put off by the romance, but that's because to them the fighting is realistic, whereas to a military or history enthusiast it's clearly dramatised. > They could have at least toned it way down. This strikes me as another suggestion of what they should have done (after speaking in fake Russian accents) without actually considering the practicalities. How would they tone it down? Just a one-night quickie? They decided there would be a romance and they did it well. To have it, but make it less of a feature, would be an error. > Leave the love story for your favorite soap opera. You are entitled to your opinion even if it is wrong. (hah) What kind of an attitude is that? And, umm, thanks for telling me I'm allowed an opinion. > Enemy at the Gates did NOT need one. And furthermore, you say you didn't mind the English accents for the Russian soldiers? I dont think it would have limited an actor's ability at all. Didn't seem to affect Mel Gibson in Braveheart, or Catherine-Zeta Jones (English born) in Zorro. Are you Scottish, or Mexican? Braveheart was Hollywood nonsense and Zorro was theatrical and comedic. Not the kinds of movie where expression and credibility are particularly important. And I might point out that Gibson was using the accent of English-speakers to speak English, so to use such an example is to miss my point. > Take a movie where Russian accents were used well and there is no comparison. Look at some of Clancy's works. I suppose you wouldn't mind it if they did a movie on Guadalcanal and the Japanese had rough Scottish accents. If the actors playing the Japanese were naturally English-speaking, and the script were in English, I would expect them to use their own accents, for the reasons I have explained. Accents vary throughout a country. A British or American actor could maybe manage a Russian or Japanese sounding accent, but they could not distinguish between the variations of that accent. Instead of every actor in a film using a stereotypical foreign accent, it makes sense for them to keep their own varying accents. Do you think it would be credible to have a Russian or Japanese person speaking their native language with an American or English accent? Do you think they could manage a Philadelphia or South Carolina accent, or a London or Birmingham or Glasgow accent? The concept is silly, and you could only pass it off in a serious film to those who knew no better. > Amazing. > TeAcH Maybe your discursive abilities would be enhanced by a well-reasoned argument rather than a condescending and dismissive attitude.

TeAcH wrote: > Why did they have to include the love story in this movie? I think this was a good idea for two reasons. 1) It emphasises the film's nature as a drama. If they'd concentrated totally on the fighting, it would have seemed as though the film was supposed to be a historically accurate documentary. 2) It was an extension of the issue of male and female soldiers fighting together. If Weisz's character had been a civilian it would have been unnecessary, but as she was a Russian soldier it seems quite appropriate. > I also had a hard time getting past the english accents on the Russian soldiers. Why cant they fake them or find actors that can? These actors could easily have faked accents if that had been the intention. However, I think the effect would have been a bunch of English-speaking actors putting on stereotypical Russian accents. It would be silly for actors to try to express themselves while struggling with a fake accent. In keeping their own accents, their personalities are clearer and they have a broader range of expression. More importantly, I think that languages and accents are fundamentally linked. The Russian accent is emphasised by the words that are being spoken. English words in a Russian accent would just sound strange. That kind of thing is okay for a typical war movie with stereotypical characters playing small parts, but not for a drama with the focus on a few particular characters. I'm British, and I've questioned the accents myself, but when you consider the alternative I think their decision makes a lot of sense. They're not the first to do this either. David

Keep in mind that if you're not sure what killed your vehicles, it probably wasn't a mine. Mine detonations appear as an explosion under your vehicle.

And the pistols are loaded with blanks.

PBEM Report As anticipated, Meeks has squandered his forces within 120 seconds and has no hope of prizing the VLs from my two Hetzers and a handful of Sicherung troops. We are now reversing the terms and I shall kick him the other way too. PS. Allegedly he had a plane but forgot. No matter, he would have died anyway. [This message has been edited by David Aitken (edited 03-16-2001).]

Just got home from watching it. It's a bit fanciful, with a romance and such, but Rachel Weisz is believeable as a Russian, and it's good to see female soldiers in the fighting without any fuss. It's more of a drama than a documentary, but it stays on track. Go see it. David

God save us, another analyst! Next title: Peng, I wish to conduct an analysis of our Challenge policy! ------------------ Now under the tutelage and infinite wisdom of Gunny Bunny, BTS has recognized their inferiorities and has decided to rewrite their engine completely and call it CMII. – Gunny Bunny on alt.games.combat-mission

PBEM Report Meeks and I have reached turn 2 of a 600 point attack scenario. He has already lost. Turn 1: Meeks spots a Wespe on top of a hill. Too late he realises it's actually a Hetzer. Scratch two Daimlers. Turn 2: A Sherman II and two more Daimlers go out for a Sunday drive. Sherman has a run-in with the locals and comes off worst. Daimler crews decide they need to stretch their legs and spot a sign for a Car Park. Or at least they thought it said Car Park, but their German wasn't up to scratch, and now they're sitting on a minefield. Scratch one Sherman and another Daimler. Any more men you wish relieved of their duties, Hamster boy? ------------------ Now under the tutelage and infinite wisdom of Gunny Bunny, BTS has recognized their inferiorities and has decided to rewrite their engine completely and call it CMII. – Gunny Bunny on alt.games.combat-mission

Elvis wrote: Enjoy the results of your current games, as even a humiliating defeat will seem glorious after your imminent encouter with Destroyer Dave™. Yeah, I know the name hardly strikes fear into the hearts of Gods... possibly old women, but I'm working on it. ------------------ Funny how 95% of the psots in this thread just completely missed the point. – Jeff Heidman Funny how you had nothing beneficial to add and were less congenial than the original misunderstood poster. – Croda

What Shandorf and Croda say is very valid. The one thing I will add is, consider how you gauge success in an FPS compared with CM. In an FPS, every health point you lose matters. If you die, that is the ultimate disaster (reincarnation aside). You strive to fight on without taking any damage. If you try to apply FPS logic to CM, you'll always be tearing your hair out. Read any history of any major battle, and you'll realise that in war, things go wrong. Always. So when you order a platoon to attack and they are massacred, don't blame the game – don't even blame yourself – blame the realism of the simulation. That kind of thing happens all the time in real wars. What also happens is that things happen which you, as the commander, can see happening, but are powerless to prevent. Your viewpoint in CM is that of high-ranking commanders – the people watching the battlefield through binoculars or receiving reports from reconnaisance aircraft or whatever. You see things which are about to go wrong. If you use FPS logic, you demand to be able to avert disaster. You want facilities which would have allowed you to save your men. But if CM is to remain realistic, it won't give you all the facilities you want. It will force you to sit back, issue orders, and watch as things go according to plan, or horribly wrong. Bradley knew that Omaha beach was far more heavily defended than SHAEF had previously believed, but he couldn't call off the assault. He had to let his men go in, and let 3,000 of them die, and hope that at the end of the day he would have some kind of result. That's war. David ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Hamsters wrote: Hmmm, you don't look like Elvish, but I'll kill you anyway. Actually, I had some inspiration last night, so you might be in luck. As the Frenchman once said in his inimitable pseudo-English, we are fierce historical innaccuracers. Right, now where did I put my scissors? Heeere, Hammy Hammy Hammy.... ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Presumably you have forgotten how to navigate web pages, so I shall provide you with some assistance – if only to pre-empt further contributions along the line of "Hi Mom!". This will have the unfortunate side-effect of preventing you from making yourself look even sillier (if that were possible), although you are free to continue if you feel that strongly about it. Madmatt wrote: ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

So Scout, where the hell have you been? ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Stuka you twat, it seems that your brains have permanently migrated to your nether regions in the lee of recent events. If you were to attempt processing information using the grey stuff behind your eyeballs, you would understand that the Mad One has ordered the imminent closure of the current Peng Thread and the creation of a new one for reasons of Forum, Operation, Efficiency Thereof. ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Right then Elvish, you pointy-eared little piccolo-playing fairy. Stop prancing around between the mushrooms, gawking at farm animals from below and molesting rodents. I seem to remember you promising me a game a while ago (aha, bet you thought I'd forgotten – and no, any change in circumstances which has come about in the meantime does not absolve you of your duty). So stop quivering behind that cow pat and stand up so I can stomp you into the ground like similar pesky invertebrates (except that I tend to avoid unnecessarily harming spiders and such, treatment which I would not accord such lesser creatures as yourself). Send me a setup, and I shall punish you for living in Philadelphia, without actually telling you why. ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Wow, someone who can spell "aisle". Now you just need to co-ordinate it with your Caps Lock key, lest you end up looking like an l33t wAReZ dOoD. =) ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss

Presumably he was shipped home from the hospital in pieces and then bolted together in front of his computer. ------------------ All true Americans love to kill deer, wade into them, spill their guts, shoot them in the belly. When you put your hand into a gob of goo, that moments before was your best head of garden lettuce, well, you'll know what to do. – Bruno Weiss