David Aitken

Quite simply, Matt is an R.E.M. fan and thus chose to order a new thread while I was the only regular hanging around. Isn't that right, Matt? PS. I thought I told you to get lost.

I shall have my evil way! An R.E.M. thread at last!

Welcome to the latest incarnation of the immortal Peng Challenge Thread. Anyone who has been a forum member for less than a year is considered a newbie. Condition of entry is the memorization of every word in every post from all previous incarnations. There is only one rule: 2) Single someone out and challenge them to a game. 3) Be as cutting as possible while remaining mature and polite. 4) Now kindly do us all a favour and get lost.

In my year's experience here, the most common source of complaint has been nothing to do with realism or accuracy, and instead all about people wanting to be able to do things that they think they should. It all comes down to getting killed as little as possible, and killing the enemy as quickly as possible. This should be achieved through competent force management and tactics, not computer-assisted micromanagement. The Second World War was far less neatly and efficiently fought than CM would lead you to believe, and many people don't seem to appreciate that. The future of CM is not in the addition of numerous Microsoft-style bells and whistles, but in the development of the engine to actually, if anything, make battles more difficult to fight (ie. relative spotting), and require not only keener and more realistic tactics, but a greater acceptance of the loss inherent in war. The destination can only be an environment where clever tactics and good ideas are rewarded, rather than the 'gaminess' encouraged by typical computer games, something to which even CM is not immune.

Maximus wrote: > Yes but who's gonna pay Steve Jobs for the Mac source code? I have been waiting for you to troll this thread. You troll EVERY Mac-related thread that appears on this forum. Kindly shut the hell up until you have the slightest clue what you are talking about. You have ably demonstrated your complete ignorance of the subject in recent Mac-related threads. If you don't have something constructive to contribute, get lost. We know there are many Windows users out there who seem to have a problem with Apple, you don't need to remind us every few days.

PBEM Report Germanboy and Meeks are nowhere to be seen. Will list as MIA and notify next of kin. Elvis is dithering around, lobbing large shells in my general direction and watching his men play 'chicken' with my mortars and a scout car. The latter is rather amusing, as my Humber is parked at right-angles to his line of advance, and the crew is hoping for a high score to win them the stuffed teddy bear. Leeo has finally levered my left hand out of his biscuit tin, but is about to receive a firm slap from my right.

Silvio Manuel wrote: > Anyone else feel that MGs are too weak? This has been discussed to death. MGs are realistically modelled in CM. Open ground is not a pool table. A running squad is not just running, it is moving quickly and making best use of the available cover en route. This thread says it all: Questioning MG effectiveness? [This message has been edited by David Aitken (edited 04-02-2001).]

Silvio Manuel wrote: > Anyone else feel that MGs are too weak? This has been discussed to death. MGs are realistically modelled in CM. Open ground is not a pool table. A running squad is not just running, it is moving quickly and making best use of the available cover en route. This thread says it all: Questioning MG effectiveness? [This message has been edited by David Aitken (edited 04-02-2001).]

It's easy to hide from a machinegun – it's not going anywhere fast, so you just need a solid object between it and you. You can't hide from mortars, because you don't hear them coming and you can't anticipate where they'll land. But as ever, it's up to the infantry to go in and root people out.

It's easy to hide from a machinegun – it's not going anywhere fast, so you just need a solid object between it and you. You can't hide from mortars, because you don't hear them coming and you can't anticipate where they'll land. But as ever, it's up to the infantry to go in and root people out.

The "Hotkeys" button at the bottom of your screen gives you all the key commands.

Leeo wrote: > As exactly how this outnumbering occurs in a meeting engagement, I'd like to hear more. You'll find out soon enough.

Wow, they're dropping the subscription by 40 bucks??

Hey, why isn't the M16 halftrack in CM? I heard there were lots of them and they had four big machineguns and they were good at killing Germans, but they don't seem to be in the game. Can they be added in a patch? BTS should hire some new programmers to make all the tweaks and modifications to CM that I ask for. Come on, I bet they're really rich after spending several years programming the game on zero income, so they can surely afford to blow a grand or fifty on a few more members of staff. I might even buy CM2.

PBEM Report I am proceeding to evict Germanboy's troops from Hyeres. After first hiding, then chucking some large shells at one of my Cromwells, then trying to convince me that he'd bought artillery and nothing else, Elvis has suffered the loss of a Hetzer for his evils, courtesy of a beautiful flank shot from my Daimler. Leeo may have a future as a politician but certainly not a tactician. His promising words are naught but spin doctoring. My outnumbered British have inflicted grievous losses on his Sturmgruppe squads, and are holding tight on the VL. Meeks has finally returned a file after waiting for Bill Gates to vet his e-mail.

The helmets and berets are not just bitmaps, they are modelled, so you can't change them. The berets don't even have a bitmap – their colour is hard-coded, so you can't change that either.

PBEM Report My froggies are charging at top speed around the houses trying to find Germanboy's evil minions before the timer runs out. There may be a lot of them, but I can't help the feeling they're all going to be dead very soon. Only Berli has the answer... I should have known better than to give Elvis unrestricted purchasing options, as although he is less than 500 metres away in relatively open terrain, all I have seen of him is some rather nasty artillery aimed at one of my tanks. Leeo claims to be otherwise engaged but is in fact cowering from his next encounter with my Cromwell O' Doom. I am interpreting ambiguously Meeks's comment to send him a setup at my leisure. No, I'm not quite leisurely yet...

Never mind guns, in my early years at school I filled sheets of paper with my "Death Zones". I used striped computer paper, and I would divide it up into levels and show guys entering from the top left, moving down the levels and being shot, crushed, minced, dismembered, eaten, drowned and otherwise left slightly worse off from when they started. Never got into trouble for that... although throughout school all I ever did was draw, so my teachers were a bit frustrated through my lack of application if not through my apparent mental distortion.

Never mind guns, in my early years at school I filled sheets of paper with my "Death Zones". I used striped computer paper, and I would divide it up into levels and show guys entering from the top left, moving down the levels and being shot, crushed, minced, dismembered, eaten, drowned and otherwise left slightly worse off from when they started. Never got into trouble for that... although throughout school all I ever did was draw, so my teachers were a bit frustrated through my lack of application if not through my apparent mental distortion.

PBEM Report After concocting a scenario to challenge the sanity of Germanboy and Treeburst155, I have joined battle with the former in Berli's submission, and learned the true definition of "challenge the sanity". All I have to do to reach my objectives is clear several million buildings. Elvis wrote: > OhmyAikenhead : I haven't even seen the 1st movie yet but already I know he has no chance in this snowy thriller. I am armed to the teeth and have a plan that can't fail. The plan being, apparently, "hide!". Leeo... Stuka wrote: > I note that David of Aitken has engaged you in a little friendly stoush. As your leige I command that you bring me his head, that you may hollow out the crap from within and furnish me with a practical, albeit exceedingly ugly new piss bucket. Some chance of that... Sturmgruppen or not, he is suffering at the hands of my invincible Cromwell O' Doom. My tie-breaker will be finding its way to Meeks very soon.

PBEM Report Hamsters/Meeks is correct – our rematch has ended in a ceasefire as my Challenger crews were a bunch of cowards and kept running away from a measly pillbox 75, or ignoring it long enough to give it the first 17 shots before returning fire. 1-1 so far, now for a tiebreaker. Leeo and I have collided in the dark. My men have scored several casualties from his Sturmgruppe squads, and one or two from their own ranks. Elvis and I are starting out in a snowy scenario. I don't see him, but he can't be that far away...

(copy of e-mail) Germanboy wrote: > May I humbly inquire with one of you losers to build us a scenario? Sounds like a good opportunity to mess with your heads. Did you have anything particular in mind?

PBEM Report I gather Berli played Leeo in the fog. For our smack-the-newbie contest I have chosen a dark, wet winter's night. My men look cold. I don't know what his men look like, and I doubt I will before the time runs out. After demonstrating to Meeks why a Hetzer crew is ill-advised to drive out and wave to a pair of Challengers, I executed a cunning infantry feint to divert his artillery and reserves. This has been an outstanding success, as now he has none of either. And neither did he in the first place. I then launched my main attack behind a fearsome 3" mortar barrage. Unfortunately the enemy was closer behind it. After heroically forcing the enemy to reveal his positions, my lead platoon effected a masterly withdrawal, and the two men retaining their wits and limbs reflected their admiration of their CO with a charming promise of disembowelment. Meanwhile I have been endeavouring to coax both my Challengers into engaging the enemy's Pillbox AT gun at the same time. After spending most of their time going backwards, one has finally forgotten about this mortal threat to its wellbeing long enough to complete a crash course in 75mm AP penetrations. The remaining crew faces a field court martial, which will probably comprise being driven out in front of the pillbox and having their tracks removed. The outcome of the battle shall favour he who can convince his men that the fate which awaits them if they don't acknowledge there is actually a war on, is far worse than that presented by the enemy.

Elvis wrote: > I feel to just send him a surrender file would be unfair to him because we have already spent a great deal of time playing it. Never feel compelled to waste more time just because you've already wasted a lot. Everything is a learning experience, and you should never be afraid to draw a line under something and move on. Whoops, that sounded like sensible advice... err... Elvish, you pansy! Are you gonna surrender your manhood and walk out on a manly battle of manliness?? > Should I grant the rematchs or deliver on my commitment to David and LLEEEOONN? Don't let me gatecrash your party, I'll just kill you more when I get the chance.

Good heavens, are they shipping newbies these days with a big mouth preinstalled? Let's see if this one has a cerebral cortex as well. Your game is forthcoming.