David Aitken

Ah, this story goes back a while. Two years ago, when Charles was programming CM, he started having visions of an old gypsy woman in his sleep. He thought it was just one of his teenage fantasies, but the visions became ever more vivid. After several weeks the woman began to speak to him. "Charles!", she croaked. "I know about the game. I know all the detail you have programmed in. The dynamic morale assessment. The fanaticism modifiers." "Damn", he thought, "I told Steve he could show the Alpha build to his girlfriend, but I wasn't expecting this!" The gypsy continued. "Charles, I also know about the freemasons, the eccentrics, and the conscientious objectors! I think you're in for trouble assigning the objectors to machinegun teams – that means they won't cause enough suppression and they won't be able to run, and you can't fool the grogs forever – but that's beside the point. Charles, if you have all of this detail, you must also have my kind too! A curse be on you, if I see no soldiers with sixth sense in the game before next month!" "A freaking deadline??", thought Charles, "Isn't that why we went independent in the first place?" "Just shut up and do it!!", the old woman retorted. "Oh, and skippable HE would be nice!" So, whenever you see enemy units you shouldn't be able to, pause a moment to marvel at the amazing depth of the game – you have among your ranks a man with inner sight!

Leeo wrote: > Amazing what a few veteran, shadowing sharpshooters [...] can accomplish in a low visibility scenario. The only bit I know is where I perforated two of them. Send me a setup, you mook, I want my skull back!

Thankyou kind sir Lorak. However, upon consulting with your records, I find my ranking at odds with my own records. Yours says: 3/2/0 Mine says: 3/1/0 That's a win against Babra, Elvis and Ellros, and a loss against Leeo. I have a further 1 win and 1 loss against Meeks, but AFAIK we haven't told you that, because we're doing a best-of-three. So if you wouldn't mind, I would be most grateful to see this minor oversight corrected. Once Meeks has surrendered we'll decide whether to award myself two wins and him one, or just myself one overall win.

Ellros, as predicted, has met a swift destruction. After laying a smokescreen for my benefit, he kindly laid out his armour without infantry support to give me target practice, and his men were soon surrounded and decimated. My men dash through Ellros's smokescreen My right-flank platoon sprints past the Sherman they just despatched to positions behind Ellros's troops Behind his lines, they flush out the M10 TD which nailed my StuG (top right, the Sherman, and my surviving flak truck) The M10 advances to join its beleagured infantry, only to run into my trap Lorak, I don't know if Ellros qualifies for your rankings yet, but you might like to chalk this up: Ellros: Wondering what hit him. Aitken: Wondering when the fighting starts. Final score: 77-23.

I have touched the Dark One! Urk, I don't want to imagine what consequences that may have...

Bloody "public servants". You should see this place on Easter Weekend. Libraries are closed, banks – even though they're not public utilities – are closed, trains – even though they were privatised years ago, seem to have forgotten, and – aren't running on time (no hang on, they never do), and the postal service has already been on strike about five times this year, so they don't get a holiday, but I think they're taking one anyway. Damned useless British infrastructure!! I pay my income tax, savings tax, council tax, road tax, sales tax – sorry, "value added tax", har har, at 17.5 per cent!!!!!, and that's only the taxes I can remember off the top of my head, and what do I get in return??? Bloody screwed over, that's what!! Oh, but I can rest safe in the knowledge that I am subsidising university places for all those poor little kiddies whose parents only earn 50 grand a year, and hospital treatment for all those who can't afford food and have to live on nothing but cigarettes, beer and deep-fried Mars bars, and think of all those people who simply can't muster the energy to get up and go to work – where would they be if I didn't pay for their food and accommodation? At work, god damnit, or preferably DEAD!!! Bah. I hereby renounce citizenship of this ridiculous country. I am an independent. I tell you, if I didn't pay tax, I would have more than enough money to pay for my own services. Grumble grumble. I'm so disgusted, I could, I could... join the Police!!!

Whoops, almost forgot: Lorak, please record: Aitken: Digging the bullets out, trying to find any that are actually German. Leeo: Finding the rain quite refreshing.

My rainy nocturnal tangle with Leeo has finally stumbled to a conclusion. I threw in the towel, leaving Mr. The Lion with a 69-31 victory. I beat him to the VL with one platoon, which, assisted by a 95mm Cromwell and a Daimler AC, proceeded to wreak havoc as his Sturmkompanie barrelled in. So far so good. Unfortunately, my other two platoons were miles away, effecting a cunning flank manuevre which was sure to catch him off guard, as his shadowing marksmen gazed on in wonderment. Before long I was forced off the VL. My flanking platoons tripped over one of his, and things started to get a bit messy. My second Daimler lost a duel with a Wespe, but was swiftly avenged by my second Cromwell, which subsequently died at the hands of a Panzerschreck. My infantry started killing as many of each other as of the enemy. After I'd dealt with his platoon and was ready to press on with one strong and one beat-up platoon, the latter took off, opened fire on the Wespe crew (which they'd been able to see clearly all along), and massacred each other. I was utterly gobsmacked, but eventually decided I still had a chance. Sending the remnants of that platoon on with a couple of machineguns as a diversion, I dashed my strong platoon all the way back round to my first platoon's starting positions, Cromwell in tow. To try and convince Leeo that I was still coming from the flank, I sent my remaining Daimler around the back, where it bounced a few shells off his StuH before getting blown to bits. My last ditch effort was again met by his troops. I retained the Cromwell, and as he subsequently admitted we were both badly beaten up, but I felt he'd played more sensibly than me and conceded the game. Note To Self: Avoiding friendly fire in the dark: Walk troops in line abreast. Do not run. Do not move into areas where enemy stragglers are sheltering. Best of all: Wait till morning!! PS. One of my 2in mortars was killed by a Vickers machinegun firing in the opposite direction!!! BTS, fix or do somefink!! To everyone else: Sorry, I haven't done any turns since I last posted. They're just coming...

PBEM Report Elvis enjoyed me whacking him and wants more. We are playing a Rune scenario, but I'm not going to attempt to set up my forces tonight. Meeks apparently squandered most of his points on artillery, which in turn he squandered on not very much in particular. After having his fleet of scout cars reduced to scrap, and the remnants of one of his platoons annihilated by a few Sicherung troops, the Company CO and his pet llama, Whipple, Meeks was shocked to learn that I have two fresh platoons waiting to kick his fresh faced young farm boys all the way back to Iowa. A few of my men, lacking miscellaneous limbs, are proceeding to assault similarly afflicted troops of Leeo's, hurling tufts of grass, prodding with pointed sticks and calling names. It may take a while to deduce the outcome, as we can't see very much. And now on to tonight's big news. I have just effected the most beautiful assault you have never seen against the forces of Ellros. Early in our dawn meeting engagement I introduced him to my rickets. I have no idea what they achieved, although I saw a spot-on airburst (150mm) right on top of one of his squads (which nevertheless didn't seem to suffer too much). Presently, a Greyhound of his popped its nose up over the hill on my right flank to have a sniff. Greyhound, meet 37mm flak trucks. Whack. I held the VL on my right flank. The other is on my left, out of my reach, so I needed to pivot on my central platoon, sweeping round on the right to hit Ellros's left flank and push towards the VL. I rushed one of my platoons out of cover and across a road parallel to my front line, to a patch of trees and a couple of buildings on top of the hill, next to the Greyhound. What was on the other side of the buildings? A Sherman. Sherman, meet Panzerfaust. Whack. Next, this is truly beautiful. A bit piqued by my trashing of a building occupied by one of his squads (courtesy of a StuG with my central platoon), Ellros dropped smoke across the front line. Where exactly? Nowhere near my troops – right in front of his. Suddenly I saw my chance. Next turn, central platoon dashes through the smoke and into the enemy opposite. Right flank platoon legs it down hill to outflank troops being assaulted. Support platoon rushes into buildings overlooking both. StuG advances in support. Flak trucks scoot up hill on right. From a Company assault, I took a grand total of about 15 casualties. One of his platoons is doomed, and I doubt his remaining troops can possibly kick me out of my positions now. And best of all, I think once the smoke clears (any second now), my StuG will have perfect LOS to another Sherman I just spotted. Ellros reckoned he was screwed even before this. A topplement of the highest order, and a fitting welcome to the Peng Thread for the newbie sheep loving git that he is.

Nice idea, from a "gamey" perspective. In Real World™ terms though, individual marksmen can't function as a squad. They fight independently – they can't offer each other fire support, or leapfrog, or maneuvre together. Keep in mind that CM simulates (in an abstracted way) squad maneuvring which you don't actually see.

CM is a squad-level game. What you are talking about is a soldier-level game like Close Combat. Depends on your terminology of course, but I think top-down is the standard way to do it, ie. you quote the highest level of resolution. CM is a squad-level company- or battalion-scale game, wereas the likes of CC is a soldier-level, platoon- or company-scale game. By the way, I tried this kind of thing the other day. I lined up 40 marksmen in a treeline (a platoon's worth of men) and had two platoons – twice their number – run at them across open ground. Left alone the marksmen lose, because they're reluctant to shoot. But when I ordered them to fire, the attackers were obliterated in about two volleys. They broke after the first. Both sides were Veteran. Seeing every man looks cool, but as we know, it is not yet practical to simulate this in CM. Anyone who thinks otherwise, let me know and I'll provide links to the numerous and extensive discussions on the subject.

'Tis true, my jaunt in the snow with Mr. Elvish has finally ended in a 75-25 victory for moi. He was doing okay at the start, chucking lots of big shells around and killing one of my Cromwell's commanders, which led to the death of the tank after my other one bought it too. But my trusty Daimler AC saved the day, whacking his Mark IV and Hetzer, and... oh, it actually took out TWO Hetzers. Damn I love Daimlers. His remaining AFV, a Wespe, was taken out by 3in mortars without me even knowing it, and his infantry spent most of its time running around in the snow, getting tired out and being shelled and shot at. Lorak, please take note: Elvis: No more sausages for the remainder of the war. Aitken: Introducing Elvis's troops to the delights of tea and scones.

JMcGuire wrote: > The tank has Dangerous Backup of some kind. My bazooka team can take out the tank, but they have to come out into the open and the backup is sure to wax them. I actually knew exactly what you were thinking about, but I just wanted to be sure. What you are trying to do may be theoretically possible, but in Real Life™ it would be regarded as a suicide mission. What are you going to say, "hey, you with the bazooka, run out into the open on your own, take out that tank, and try not to get whacked by all those infantry and machineguns backing it up"? That just wouldn't happen. Support weapons are for infantry support – if you have no infantry, the support weapons are useless. You can't expect bazookas, mortars, machineguns and such to run around on their own and do a proper job – and while it may be possible in CM, it's what we call "gamey". Scipio wrote: > maybe it would be a good idea to have something like move-fight-move As you are realising, this is totally impractical. It is your job to get your men into a position from which they can fight. Once engaged it is up to them. Micromanagement such as ordering troops exactly what to fire at, with what ordinance and at what moment, is totally outwith the scope of the game. It is not your job, it is theirs. The kind of situation where you are relying totally on chance and luck to achieve a kill is where you ought to consider calling a ceasefire. It depends what you play for – to win, or to enjoy managing Second World War operations – but you should be intuitively aware at what point things are turning against you, and when you should think twice about getting your men killed on the offchance of succeeding. Remember that in Real Life™ you would always start to have second thoughts sooner than in CM, because in reality "winning" is not "winning" unless there is a clear margin.

Mace wrote: > you mention another of my favorite bands. Funny, I was looking at Tony Iommi's ridiculous big hair and 'tache, and thinking, "Golly, he and Mace must have been separated at birth!"

Yeah, that sucks. Bloody Infopop are trying to be too clever.

Could you please explain the kind of scenarios where this would be useful, let alone sensible? For the tank example, why can't your squad just run out and kill the tank?

Seanachai wrote: > (other than his musical appreciation, which remains deeply suspect. I am not quite sanguine about David's musical orientation. Having just acquired a new 'Ossian' CD this day, I feel it imperative that people like David be brought back into some sort of fold). YES!! Black Sabbath's first six record are belong to me! Now where are we... Germanboy is still in police custody, and is expecting to be released on bail in about three weeks. Elvis, despite his gamey artillery employment, the knocking out of both my tanks, and his denial of responsibility for certain of his actions, is on the verge of absolute destruction. His remaining AFV, a Hetzer, was at the end of last turn simultaneously targetted by both my Daimler AC and a PIAT from different angles. Oh, and happens to be all but surrounded by one of my platoons. My other platoon is rounding up the remnants of his infantry, which spent most of the battle running back and forth in the snow, dodging 3in mortar rounds and bullets from my Humber SC's Bren gunner. Meeks was reduced to some gamey edge-hugging with one of his armada of White SC's, as his last-ditch hope of averting doom in our meeting engagement. It received a warm welcome from my remaining 20mm SdKfz 250. He finally took out one of my Pumas with a long shot from a recoilless rifle, although I only know that through my intuition and cunning. Now I'm just wondering when the platoon on my right flank he doesn't think I've seen will recover from hay fever and DO SOMEFINK!! Leeo remains somewhere near the VL, and I remain somewhere else. Difficult to tell in the dark, really. I finally discovered that Daimler SC's weren't designed by the devil himself, after mine bounced several rounds off the front of a StuH at point-blank range before eventually coming off worse from an encounter with some large-calibre HE. Ellros doesn't know what's coming to him. Let's just say I have taken a page out of mensch's book (no, I don't mean nudie pictures, I was speaking metaphorically) in terms of force selection.

I think you'll find that German soldiers were indeed issued with Leotards during the Second World War, but when senior officers realised that their objectives involved more fighting than ballet dancing, these were phased out in favour of more practical combat clothing.

I just had the strange sensation that I was either going to sneeze, vomit or have an orgasm. I think I may have caught something from one of my American PBEM partners.

Ellrunt, your server is rejecting my e-mails saying it doesn't want anything from my IP address. I didn't know my reputation spread that quickly. I suggest you get a real e-mail account, or wait a while and I'll try sending again. (The length of "a while" is open to interpretation.) [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Ellros wrote: Send me a setup and commence my whupping<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The way this came across to the inveterate followers of Peng was: Thrrrrrp<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's not a challenge, that's an accidental discharge of wind. This is a challenge: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thinks: My god, what am I doing? Challenging a newbie? Wasting a moment of my life on this miserable facsimile of an embarrassing stain on the rear end of a parasitic louse burrowing under the skin in the festering groin of a snot-encrusted beggar, spawn of an 106-year-old bondage-obsessed former truck stop waitress from South Carolina, accidentally impregnated through licking discarded underwear found in the trash cans of Washington public service lawyers? Have I lost my mind? Oh, I have. Fair enough.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You send me a setup, punk. I have a habit of rigging battles against myself, so this way I can't lose.

Good heavens, now they're double-posting and rambling about their winkies. This must be a bug. The temporary new colours after the forum upgrade must have brainwashed some of these sad individuals, who presumably have no purpose in life but to sit in front of their computers and make inane posts to web forums that would embarrass someone who had spent several years in a soundproofed floatation tank and then had a nasty accident involving the remaining traces of their grey matter and a food mixer on the way out. Mace, forget the sheep, we'll just seal them all in and organise a Heavy Tank Rally.

Look here, you pathetic invertebrates!! The Peng Challeng Thread™ is not a receptacle for your mental vomit. It is kindly hosted by BTS on condition that it is a haunt for the purposes of finding and challenging opponents. So bloody well challenge, or we'll stick signs on your backs saying "I think the movement rate of regular Polish troops under fire from moderately piqued Germans in September 1944 is roughly 3m/s too far above the average" and deport you to the MG Effectiveness thread!!

"Hiding" will help because rather than wait for the men to take cover themselves, and risk being hit by shrapnel before doing so, you make sure they're already hugging the ground. Or, indeed, hugging a tree – which is best practice to avoid tree bursts. Foxholes with rooves are the best protection against tree bursts – I assume CM foxholes to be rooved. [ 04-11-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]

Canuck wrote: > I'm kind of a PENG virgin Mace, bring up the sheep... God almighty, what kind of raw material are they giving us these days? A bunch of simpering fairies with all the aggression and tactical prowess of an effeminate choir boy. Mace, make that the biggest sheep you can find...