Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So how many of you guys are grog's.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That depends on the definition of a grog I suppose. I've read about WW2 all my life (40+ years) and while I can recognize a Sherman from a Mark IV I can't tell, at a glance, the difference between the various versions. Judge for yourself. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And why havent I seen this game mentioned in other game forums?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You're looking in the wrong places then. Check out csip games.war-historical, it's been heavily discussed and raved over for a long time. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh and buy the way, I have never posted to this board befor, but have been reading it for a long time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, is it trolling season already? Time does fly doesn't it.
Look, buy the game if you want, don't if you don't. You have our opinions, which you asked for despite the fact that you apparently already knew our opinions. But I will add that there are damn few games that engender THIS level of fan support for this long.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I really have a problem with paying over $30.00 for a game, unless it is an impulse buy at the store, but CM is not in the stores.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'd be surprised if you were able to find many quality games for $30, but obviously everyone is different. I would simply add that the full game is far better than the demo and is one of the few games I've ever played that has held my interest for this long.
If you have an interest in this period and this scale, I can't imagine another game that even comes close.
Joe
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Jeeves, I say Jeeves, have you a mo'?
Yes sir, may I be of assistance?
Ah righto, Jeeves, jolly prompt of you if I must say.
Yes sir.
Well Jeeves, you see old top, it's well, have you been reading the thread recently Jeeves?
The CessPool Sir? One attempts to pay as little attention as possible Sir but I do try to keep up on current events. May I assume Sir, that you are once again incensed by Herr Oberst?
Oh, quite so, Jeeves, I say that's jolly perceptive of you. You see Jeeves, he's at it again.
At IT again Sir? Surely you mean Bauhaus?
No, no Jeeves, not THAT, well yes, Bauhaus is but ... well ... that evil little man Hairy Obreast is ... well ... trying to "take charge" again. After all Jeeves, there are forms to follow and a certain scheme of things, propriety you know, and this Hairy Obreast, well, he's ... annoying.
Annoying Sir, quite so, one does see your point. However, I wonder Sir, if it might be possible to simply ignore him as apparently do all the other inhabitants of the CessPool? He is, after all, hardly EVER in attendance, no one pays him the slightest of attention and he seems content to pose and then depart. We could wish the same for, oh, any number of recent SSNs could we not Sir?
Just ignore him, Jeeves? Would that be ... sporting do you think?
Oh quite Sir, indeed Sir he does seem something of a sitting bird and THAT wouldn't be sporting.
Quite so Jeeves, quite so, he did depart rather quickly when you took him to task did he not. I say that WAS jolly good fun.
Indeed Sir, I say Sir, you're not planning to move that Mark IV THERE are you Sir?
Why ... yes Jeeves, I am. Jolly good ambush spot don't you think.
Actually Sir, I recommend against that course of action.
You do? Oh very well then Jeeves, I rely upon your advice as you know.
I attempt to give satisfaction Sir.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And if goanna/Joe Shaw don't stop bickering over Van shag, we'll have to settle this in a fair and reasonable manner...let's get a chainsaw and cut him in half then each can have a piece of him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> An excellent plan, one worthy of a CessPooler, let's do it. I seem to recall reading something similar someplace, perhaps J.F.C. Fuller, but this sounds reasonable, I get the top half, it would make a lovely Halloween decoration.
I'm getting damned sick of all these down-under types preening about their horsepower and how MANLY they are. If you want to try something manly, try caving. There's nothing like rappeling into a few hundred feet of darkness to get the blood going.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Piss off JoePshaw. I beat you to this one and von scrad is mine.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Come now Goanna it is unseemly for Knights to bicker and fight over a mere Serf! Here, let's make it fair, I'll toss a coin and if it comes up heads (sit down Bauhaus) I shall be his Knight, if it comes up tails (damnit Bauhaus) you shall have him. Ready?
HEADS IT IS
There you have it, a fair and equitable resolution to the crisis. Now go back to snapping at flies or whatever it is that you scaly green lizards eat.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Phone Shred questioned MY judgement ... can you believe that a lowly SERF would question MY judgement ... when he replied: How can you halt such a earthly process. Here this fine, young piss-boy is given a hand up by our gracious Seanachai<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well there you make your first mistake AND your first correct move all in one. He whose name may not be bolded is NOT gracious, in fact the closest he came is when some interloper to the 'pool read one of his posts and said "gracious me" ... needless to say he, the interloper, was never seen again and a right good thing it was too. You did, however, instinctively fail to bold his name and thus showed the repugnance we all feel at a gut level for the evil done by him. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> and you choose to stop his charity. Would I wish you harm? Such as barefoot hiking through........<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah lad it is no charity I assure you. Better that you be taken to squire by Bauhaus ... and I think there are actual LAWS against that. Further I have no doubt that you wish me harm but we'll let that pass for the moment. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I would gladly have my attorneys work it out with you Joe but, they are more accustomed to getting people out of felony rap's. The glove obviously did not fit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If it doesn't fit, you're full of ... well you get the idea. I don't trust attornies, doubtless my view has been warped by the presence of these creatures here in the CessPool but what's a lad to do in any case.
I tell you what, Phone Shred, I shall offer to undertake your instruction and take you to squire. I would point out that BOTH of my previous squires, Agua Perdido and Speedbump both became Knights of the CessPool under my tutelage, so my record as an instructor is flawless.
Lorak, what say you? Shall he whose name may not be bolded have the squire or shall I undertake the onerous task of teaching him? I leave it to your capable if palsied from drink hands.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I know that I would never give up until the enemy put an AP round through my thick skull (assuming they could achieve a glacis penetration, which is unlikely). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You are referring, I assume, to the slope of the glacis which is substantial from my research and HEY I DID RESEARCH OKAY SO IT WAS WRONG BUT IT WAS RESEARCHED SO THERE CAUSE I READ IT. You do have to give young Failed Marshall credit for cojones I guess, I wouldn't have written an article about the Volksturm for THIS crowd unless I WAS a Volksturm. I guess that we have to have another incarnation of Benny Marneri (whatever) every six months or so just to keep us young.
Mace I don't know, I have my doubts about ANYTHING from Peng these days but shoot along a setup and I'll see if it looks playable UNLIKE THE PIECE OF TRASH HE FOISTED OFF ON BERLI AND I.
He whose name may not be bolded has offered to take a serf to squire ... hmmmm ... he already HAS a squire AND his name is not to be bolded SO if someone else would like to take this poor wretch under their wing in place of he whose name may not be bolded I think that would be ... a GOOD thing.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>He whose name shall not be bolded finally worked up enough nerve to return I see, though the following left MUCH to be desired: Of course, there are certain issues that need resolution regarding myself.
Shaw, Lawyer, and several others have even gotten Peng sober enough to feel the need to spew and gibber regarding my status on the Thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damned straight there are ISSUES me lad. I'll let the evil one, (actually I suppose that would be the Senior evil one since Mensch appears to be a protege of sorts) reiterate the terms proposed by the Father Confessor and Partial Scenario Creator ... Peng. I'll simply add that I'm all in favor of something simple and traditional, perhaps along the lines of the Spanish Inquisition, with just the right touch of ceremony and screaming.
As to my request for a scenario, I'd like to thank Panzer Leader and OGSF for their submissions but they seem to have missed the point. ANYONE can lose a rigged scenario, that takes no skill at all. Losing a well balanced and designed scenario, on the other hand, takes TALENT, SKILL and a certain level of ... PANACHE! So please, no more of these Jabo! wannabes (as if ANYTHING can match THAT), send me something that I can work with ... and lose.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Poor Joe Shaw, nabs the sole VL, pounds my troops, causes some to route, and what does he get? A draw!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {sigh} ... damnit I TRIED, sure I took the VL but it was a View One game and I couldn't SEE the flag, before I knew it I had the damn thing and it was the only VL! Then I split my forces and holed half of them up in a useless hotel or something so that he could pound them with his HMG, RR and 81mm mortar. Luckily I only had a couple of 'schreks and a single HMG but even so the idiot puts his RR in plain sight and my troops killed it before I could stop them.
Then Mace decides to try an attrition strategy and got his lads low on ammo and morale before he tried the final (last turn/gamey) assault. Of course his guys barely got across the street from the VL before they went to ground. Several squads ran like rabbits.
At the beginning of the last turn the flag was German and at the end of the last turn the flag was German, I mean I was resigned to another damned win to futher sully my record. I have to be careful, you know, people might start thinking that I think that winning is important and we can't have THAT! And then the worst possible outcome, a bloody DRAW! BTS FIX OR DO SOMEFINK!
I need some competent (SSNs need not apply) designer to shoot me a scenario so that I can lose to Mace as GAWD intended! Perhaps a nice small to medium, attack/defend sort of thing? All submissions will be reviewed by ... well ... ME I guess, I might let Mace look at it too.
And lets not be doing a Peng where the first scenario has no troops and a billard table map and the second version has troops stranded and unable to move or participate.
Joe
[ 07-15-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You may need to read it more slowly and use your fingers to keep track, but I think you are starting to get the hang of it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I'm sorry, I should have realized that my sense of incredulity wouldn't have been clear to someone who must daily make the most absurd statements with a straight face. Having to justify the ludicrous proposals you must "advocate" has obviously dulled your senses to the point where "light reading" is considered the U.S. Customs Regulations. You are Sir, I regret to say, a Lawyer ... further scorn than that I cannot express,
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You have no self-respect because you are a Texan, living in Utah, proudly proclaiming to be Irish. Three strikes. Yer OUT!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Let me see if I have this straight, we have WASHINGTON GOVERNMENT LAWYER taking ME to task over my background ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Waill, are ye...punk???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shouldn't that be ... poonk? Now admittedly MY ancestors (well at least the ones we TALK about) were Irish but still I doubt that George MacDonald Fraser (THE recognized expert at written-Scottish dialog) would stoop to using Punk when he had Poonk just sitting there waiting wit it's thoomb oop it's arse ... damnit man, now you've got me doing it.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stall In Oregon actually posted something worthy of note: Clearly I'm not worthy for notice here ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now TECHNICALLY there was some other stuff he posted and there was TECHNICALLY more to the sentence I quoted, but it was, for once, so DAMNED true and so ... RIGHT that I was forced to take notice of it. Kind of a paradox isn't it, the one post that I notice is the one that says he's not worth noticing ... some kind of Zen thing going on I guess.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It somehow seems fated that Rune (evil) and I (Evil) are just finishing up
a joint effort.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Look mate, we really don't care what you and Rune choose to smoke in the privacy of your own hovel, really we don't, but your drug addled mind is beginning to fail. We've got a game due from Peng about which you've done nothing and Agua Perdido tells me that your scenario reminds him of nothing so much as some of the black light posters from San Franciso in the late 60's. Now don't get the impression that we, like, CARE, on account of how WE DON'T. BUT we would like to keep the CessPool from becoming any more surreal than it is already.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Some Damn Fine German Weapons<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yep, clearly hacked, you're found out David no use denying it. You've obviously used your superior computer skills to change the poor lad's orders from moving in some semblance of a tactical formation to this parody of military manuvers. And how do you explain spotting his FO who was CLEARLY behind hills UNLESS you used the autosave feature to cheat (ah, my, how many times have I used that little trick ... hehehe)? It does take a child at times to show us the truth.
Does his village know that they're missing an idiot?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"He Whose Name Shall Not Be Bolded " - HWNSNBB, whined the following: When I left Minneapolis, certain low fellows were posturing about censuring me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually I think that ALL of us were posturing about censuring you. In fact I'm pretty sure that you HAVE been censured ... now if we could just censor you ...
Joe
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Mark IV you're a genius, that's the best Pawbroon impression I've ever seen.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The nickname carried over to the Do 217 series.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And therefore, pay attention now Mace I know that logic is not among the strong suits of those down-under (easy Bauhaus), the NICKNAME of the DO-217 WAS ... by your own admission ... the Flying Pencil. That it may not have been the original holder of that nickname does not invalidate the nickname nor my identification of it. Was the M4 the only AFV to be called the Sherman? I think not.
Now stop trying to prop up that imbecile Stuka. Yes, he may be a fellow Ozzie but he is, admit it, an idiot.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Caught in my uber-cunning trap and exposed as the GROG you are! No more hiding in the closet for you, little man.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah Stuka, poor deluded lad that you are. Were I an actual GROG I'd have known (or indeed cared) whether the correct designation was Do-17 or Do-217. Your pathetic attempt to cover up your blunder is apparent to all.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka finally sobered up enough to post: Shaw, thank you for that wonderfully dull crack at fire and brimstone. I now know no more than I did coming in, but at least you were able to bore me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then my work was not in vain, however my labors are not finished. While you are correct to chastise MrSpkr (I think, if not who cares) as to his misidentification of the Stuka as {chortle} a JU-88, you were equally at fault by referring to the JU-88 as the Flying Pencil. That aircraft was the Donier DO-17 ... 217 ... something like that, I'm too important to actually do the research. There were, of course, multiple variants but the Battle of Britain varieties were called the Flying Pencil.
Joe
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It appears that it falls to me, yet AGAIN, to set the record straight.
Elijah Meeks and Croda have returned I see ... please excuse me while I celebrate wildly ... whoppee ... as I've completed the celebration I shall continue.
The decision was made MANY threads ago that the CessPool should exhibit MORE CLASS and LESS CRASS, does that mean that all bile and venom is gone from the thread? Does it imply that we shall now be polite and show consideration for those lesser beings amongst us? Does it even suggest that we shall lower the flame used to scorch the idiots that wander in? IT DOES NOT!
More Class, Less Crass simply expresses the intent of the CessPool to make it's points using more Wit and less S**t.
Not because we wish to be politically correct, not because WE are offended by vulgar or common language and not because we fear that MadMatt will shut us down if we don't conform to published rules ... well okay, maybe THAT. No my despised community, it's because we HAVE A RIGHT TO EXPECT MORE OF CESSPOOLERS!
Now perhaps our NEARLY departed friends and the SSNs among us (some things just KEEP turning up like bad pennyies don't they) haven't been keeping up with the thread, if so then they may take this as an update. If they choose to ignore the wishes of the CessPool, may the wrath of the assembled fall upon them like a barrage of rickets spotted by an elite FO with gobs of TRPs and a clear LOS.
Finally, I don't know who this Swivel44 chap is, but I doubt that it's Germanboy. In the first place Germanboy wouldn't be AFRAID to tell us who he is, unlike Drizzle44, and in the second place he is just a BIT more lucid than Germanboy, don't you think?
Joe
[ 07-11-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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My GAWD what a disaster. Not only did those down under bozos blow the transition BIG TIME, but then Stuka posts the most disgraceful, unworkable and (far worse) humorless set of rules YET! I hereby propose that NO ONE who resides below the equator be allowed to host a Peng Thread EVER AGAIN. I suspect that all the clockwise (or is it counter clockwise) rotation of the water in the toitoi has scrambled what few brains they had to begin.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I loathe you all, Stuka and Joe Shaw most of all<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {sniff} but ... but I've worked so hard, I've tried, I really have and NOW THIS {sob}! What do I have to do? You're just too mean damnit ... How come STUKA is Number ONE?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>George W. Bush: Don't blame me, I voted with the majority!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, so did the majority, but let's leave the politics for some other thread.
Reminds me of my favorite WW2 book "Somebody's Stepping on my Cloak and Dagger" about the "exploits" of an OSS man. At one point the OSS instructors were trying to see how the trainees would deal with liquor so they got them well lubricated and started a discussion. One of the questions asked was "What shall we do with hard core Nazi's after the war." Heaven knows what they were trying to discover with it but one of the trainees blurted out, "I don't wanna talk about large bore Nazis, I wanna SING!"
The point of that long and rambling story? Not much more than my usual except ... (1) Mr. Johnson is a large bore and (2) The CessPool is for drunks, not for politicians. Luckily Lawyer qualifies on BOTH counts so he can stay.
Joe
The Peng challenge, a thread that will live in infamy
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Goanna has squired Von Shrad<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The Lorak has spoken ... well, it was KINDA like speech, more like a modulated belch but what are ya gonna do ... and Von Shrad is squire to Goanna. I accept the judgement, especially since I offerred only to prevent he whose name shall not be bolded from having another squire in his present, reduced circumstance. I do regret that Goanna is the Knight because, let's be honest here, he doesn't have the best LOS to reality.
Joe