[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That's right PShaw you bilious bloated ungulate carcass on the side of the road. By erasing and WRITING my name in that book of yours you have called down the Army of Peng upon your fat ugly head.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> HAH! A lot YOU know. I had your name WRIT and THEN STRUCK THROUGH which, I might point out, is a sight worse than whatever it was that YOU said that frankly didn't make any sense not that we ever EXPECT you to make sense. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It is a blood hamster at 50 paces.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> OH IS IT INDEED? I refer you to rule 14(a/50X)+\*5 where it clearly states that as the Challenged party I choose the weapon and YOU, as the Challenger, choose the conditions. Therefore, just to annoy you, I reject your Blood Hamster and choose a Standard Game instead. Let that be a lesson to you. NOW you may name your conditions. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>A texas chainlinked-buzzsawcagedanimal-deathmatchfromhell.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> TEXAS needs to be capitalized. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You are a raw dog stuffed with bugs and I am a hungry vulture. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>A hungry vulture? Hah! More like the little chicken hawk in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons and like the dog in those cartoons I shall prevail. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Select a third party to purchase our troops, maggot-boy. I await your cowardly response.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Very well, I appoint Mensch as my second and ask that he select the forces which shall seal your doom!

Whichever map Berli creates can't be worse than the monstrosity you inflicted upon us.

Allow me also to advise Lorak that the aforementioned Mensch has aided my quest to prove that competence in CM is meaningless. It was not, again, easy. He created a very small, fog bound ME and almost immediately destroyed one of my TDs and ruined the gun on the other. I was about ready to surrender when the church that sheltered most of his infantry inexplicably burst into flames and gave me the town though not the VL. I bravely attempted to close assault his two Hetzers guarding the VL but was prevented by some trivial morale problems. My gun damaged TD tried to distract his Hetzers from the infantry assault and paid the price. At the end of the game, he had two Hetzers, one with a damaged gun and one with only AP left and ... wait for it ... ONE infantryman holding the VL. HIS global morale broke, the game ended and the game was awarded ... TO HIM on the basis of points. While I am thrilled at the loss I am at a loss (you should excuse the pun) to explain why his morale failed and he won the game. Strange and wonderous are the ways of BTS.

Mensch: Win

Joe Shaw: Loss

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You are as bad as mouse with your "look at me! I'm Pretty and I Try Hard!" poster-boy wind.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's IT! I've put up with your "Oh me, the thread has MY name on it so I MUST be important and EVERYONE has to do what I say" crap for as long as I can. I've not raised my voice before (well on THIS issue anyway) out of some misplaced sense of propriety but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. To have YOU of all people compare me to Mouse is beyond the Pale and you SHALL PAY!

Lars, Lars I say!

{Lars rushes in from the stables with currycomb in one hand and textbook "Peng, The Ultimate Blowhard", in the other.} Yes, Sir Joe, I was currying your horse Sir, what may I do for you?

{Joe looks confused for a moment} I ... I don't have a horse, we're mechanized you know.

Really? Oh ... well what was I currying then?

Hmmmm, well no matter, take out your book Lars.

{Lars blanches in terror} Not ... not THE BOOK Sir Joe? Who can have offended you so much as to warrant the ultimate punishment?

Stand to your duty lad, these are hard times. Write this name down, lad ... MrPeng.

Oh ... oh no Sir, I dare not write down HIS name in ... THE BOOK.

Do as I say lad, write it down ... MR PENG.

{With trembling fingers and knotted brow, Lars pens the name MR PENG in the Book} Will that be all Sir Joe?

No lad, it is NOT all ... STRIKE HIS NAME OUT.

{Lars dissolves into tears but knows better than to debate further. With a firm stroke he crosses out the name he has just written.}

There lad, that should teach the SWINE.

{looking up at Joe with admiring eyes} Begging you pardon Sir Joe, but I ain't never seen nobody could dish out the punishment the way you can.

{Joe heaves a large sigh} It's a gift lad, it's a gift.

Joe

[ 07-29-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now everyone knows that Mr Fox was there at the beginning,

So no point arguing Mr Shaw the guy will come out winning.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Far be it from me contradict the fair YK2, but he was NOT there at the beginning. I have perused the threads from their inception and HE IS NOT THERE. Now he and Seanachai or Peng or Berli, etc, MAY have had some communication, but that does NOT mean that he was a founder of the MBT. I stand by my suggestion that he be made Grog To The CessPool.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Is that fair I hear you ask?

Well NO I think it's not,

Cos he might play but rarely posts,

While many posts I can boast.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And damn fine ones too ... furthermore I suspect that you SMELL better than he does.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I guess what I am trying to say,

In a long and kinda roundabout way,

If Simon is to become a Knight,

Then why can't I without a fight?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I am shocked, shocked to learn that you have yet to be elevated to the rank you deserve. If it can be debated that this Fox chap be GIVEN a Knighthood, without any fighting OR posting requirement, then I say we OWE it to YK2 to make her Dame YK2 based upon the excellence of her posts ... and the fact that she's actually HERE ... what say you CessPoolers?

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

Goanna, turn RE-SENT, if you don't get it IT AIN'T MY FAULT.

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You left me out of the list.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, so YOU'RE in on the conspiracy TOO! I might have guessed that pure EVIL would enjoy the torment of the masses this will cause. And what's this ELDER crap? I'm a Seniour Knight too you know, not to mention Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool.

But I am not, as I said, an unreasonable man. As a compromise I propose that this Fox chap be given a status comparable with that of Lawyer who, as Consigliori to the CessPool, is accorded all rights and privileges of being a Knight without actually BEING a Knight.

I further propose that he be given the title of Official Grog of the CessPool. Not only will this annoy the hell out of him, being affiliated with the CessPool, but will further diminish the status of Grogs in general. His opinions will, of course, be ignored but on our recon forays into the outerboards we should be sure to refer to him OFTEN by his title.

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw - Calm down. I think its just something in the water. If the silly gits would just stick to beer or scotch, they would be fine.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It's far, far too late to calm down, though the beer does sound good right about now, all that shouting has given me quite a raw throat. But I'm a reasonable man and will promptly admit when I'm proven to be wrong ... so let the Terrible Trio PROVE that they haven't been in cahoots with the Outerboard and we'll drop the whole thing.

You'll note that Mark IV didn't deny any of my charges but merely suggested that since it was something Salmonella Fox (sounds like a stripper doesn't it) wouldn't like, then we should do it. Has he never seen "Song of the South"? "Oh PLEASE, Brer Fox, please don't throw me into that briar patch, please don't do that!" No wonder he was so easily taken into the conspiracy. But then the outerboarders were no doubt looking for the simple, unquestioning, rather dim bulbs for recruits.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As to your request for a scenario, I have one I should be finishing up this afternoon that I need playtested.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That should do as well as anything. I fail to understand the fascination of people for the Bulge scenarios but since it's likely hotter than Hades down in Texas right now and maybe it serves to cool you. Shoot it along.

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lorak, append the roll, let the rectal

fanfare sound, and greet our kanewest kanigget, Sir SimonFox of the Welded Mantlet.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, aren't we just full of ourselves then, aren't we just the lord and bloody master of the whole bleedin' CessPool?

Well let me tell you boyo, you can slice and dice it all you like, but the facts are out there and it's obvious that there is a conspiracy afoot! That's right a conspiracy to raise to Knighthood someone else from THE OUTER BOARDS! Without so much as a by your leave, with nary a thought to the consequences and with ever so much blather and circumlocution to conceal the fact.

My fellow CessPoolers, is it not obvious, even to Bauhaus? First Seanachai goes to the Outerboards and absolutely RECRUITS grogs to join us and be granted full rights to the CessPool without any restrictions. Why he even offerred one of them, and the WINNER of their bloody tourney no less, elevation to Seniour Knight! Now we have the self same Seanachai AND Peng AND Mark IV ALL lobbying for this Simonized Floss to be made a Knight for what ... for being an admitted Grog and Outerboarder! What have they offered you chaps? A VICTORY OR TWO no doubt, something that YOU would find worthwhile. Maybe they'll allow you to post your thoughts on the traverse speed of the Puma eh?

What's next? Is LoserName to be given Lorak's web site? Will Heil DaMan be appointed chief scenario designer? Will ALL games have to be approved by the GROG HEAVY CessPool heirarchy? I tell you friends, this is just the FIRST STEP in their campaign to remake, nay to DESTROY the CessPool.

It's clear to me that Seanachai, Peng and Mark IV have been BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY THE OUTERBOARDERS. Finally the Outerboarders have their chance to rid themselves of the CessPool. And how? By that most devious and time honored trick of destroying the enemy FROM WITHIN! Can you not hear the sounds of the sappers digging beneath our walls? Do you not see the charges being planted at our gates? Will you ignore the imposters who pose as our own when they are naught but TRAITORS!

TO ARMS, TO ARMS, FIRE, FOES, THE ENEMY IS UPON US!

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Simon Fox?! SIMON FOX??!! Damn straight he is a Knigget. His tauntings

and ravings go way back. Hell he is even more vicious and pugnacious than moi. That guy was a knigget before Pshaw married his first mormon wife. He was a knigget when Mace was but a wittle wamb. If my feeble memory serves me correctly he contributed to either the "awful truth about smilies" or "cabbages and kings" threads. and with malice aforethought.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Peng, here's a thought, try to connect with REALITY for a change. Just because your name is on the thread doesn't mean that it's YOUR thread. YOU don't decide who IS and ISN'T a Knight. Lord Lorak shows neither hide nor hair of Simon Says and therefore HE IS NO KNIGHT, NOR SQUIRE, NOR EVEN SERF! What may or may not have happened, either in reality or in another of your drug induced flashbacks, has NOTHING to do with KNGIHTHOOD. Now I admit that he shows promise, but tradition must be served and this willy-nilly, catch-as-catch-can, make 'em Knights JUST 'CAUSE nonsense has to STOP!

Further, one of the prime directives of the CessPool is that member must ... hello ... BE HERE! Where has Simon Says been for the last umptyfratz incarnations of the thread? Where, indeed, has he been for the last few PAGES OF THIS ONE? He is, pay attention, NOT HERE, AWOL and GONE MISSING. Now we can forgive the odd nod to real life and grant a miss to those who are gone for weeks but HE IS NEVER HERE. Is such a creature to be granted the privilege of calling himself a Knight of the CessPool? I SAY NAY!

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Well, then, Sir Joe Shaw, Persecutor of the One True CessPool, it is apparent that you are intent on changing long-standing 'Pool tradition, specifically the bastarrrd-ization of one's nick, or did I miss that in the Code of Conduct? I was looking for it by chapter and verse, but that little wanker Elvis got there first and did away with all the numbers and such. Next thing you know, MrSpkr will steal all the vowels. Feh!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> FEH! to you too then. As to the rule about proper spelling, it's one that I made up, being a Seniour Knight I have that right. Why you ask? I'm gald you asked. There are TWO (2) reasons (enumerated to annoy Elvis). First (1st) While showing respect FOR THE PERSON is clearly out of the question, it does show respect FOR THE CESSPOOL AND THE INSTITUTION OF KNIGHTHOOD. It's much the same as saluting the uniform, not the man. And Second (2nd) it's old hat, boring, sophmoric, passe and JUST NOT ON anymore. So there you have it.

I should also point out that my CORRECT title is Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool, pay attention.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Back to the topic at hand, I propose a little tilt at the quintain (or windmill, if you prefer). I suggest, Sir Kanigget, this shall be resolved on the field of dishonor.

State your terms, Sir Guffaw!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh fine, so I'm supposed to just DROP everything I'm doing and add yet another game to my already overflowing plate just to PROVE to the world what they already know ... THAT YOU'RE AN OVERBLOWN WINDBAG WITH PRETENTIONS OF GRANDEUR FOR REASONS THAT ARE BEYOND COMPREHENSION. Hell I've turned down games with less annoying people than you but FINE!

Is there a Knight ... (KNIGHT Panzer Leader, Knight, we don't want a game from a Squire) who can provide us with something interesting? No damn SNOW this time (Berli, you're such a swine) and how about something other than a ME and other than some scenario that Salvador Dali might have created (Peng is a swine too).

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz;

"Oh, what a relief it is..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh please, at least give me a challenge! The product was Alka Seltzer and the Spokesman,/thing was Speedy Alka Seltzer.

And while ScuzzBall may protest, I note that he apparently took MrSpkr's warning to heart and bolded the names of the Knights. Unfortunately, since he is a SSN he is not eligible for that honor nor may he even have his name spelled properly (see above). However, it must be remembered that before MrSpkr, Speedbump and many others were Knights, they were Squires, and before that ... yes ... SSN themselves. There is hope ScuzzBall, well, not for YOU but in general.

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Bryl-Creem, a little dab will do ya,

"Bryl-Creem, you'll look so debonair,

"Bryl-Creem, the gals will all pursue ya,

"They love to run their fingers through your hair."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

(a) Is this still a real product?

( Who ELSE can still remember it? Talk about your Blast From The Past, jeeze I feel old ... wait a minute ... I AM old.

Goanna, and to which email address shall we address our missives oh globe trotting wonder? The "I'm NEVER home but it will get there" address or the "I'm frequently here but it will bounce my email because it's from an infidel" address?

Oh ... which turn number was the last one you had ... hehehehe ... isn't Elvis cute (in a baby seal just before you club it to death way) when he gets all red and his eyes bulge out like that?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You should set a priority where my

incoming takes priority over and pushes out mail from, say, Joe Pshaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right then, MORTUARY I've about had it with you. I make it practice to bold AND correctly spell the names of Knights and Squires to the CessPool, not as a gesture of respect (I hold you ALL in equal contempt ... well, some are more contemptible than others) but as a nod to tradition and STATION in life. That you should continue to make sport of my noble name is an insult that is not to be borne (or born, I forget which). I expect a full apology forthwith ... or cash, either will do.

Joe

{edited to add venom toward MORTUARY}

[ 07-28-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Bill Paxton is da man.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yeah, he was great in The Hulk.

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Or maybe I just didn't fill out my points allocation. But I should be able to

win anyway, I had more tanks! Fix or do somefink!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Hmmm, were you using Tiger's mods?

Joe

[Bill Paxton as patron saint of the Peng Challenge Thread]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I say, we make the Ozzie bastard a Knight. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Blimey, he's at it AGAIN! After we went to all the trouble and expense of a trial over his giving out AUTOMATIC Knighthoods to any old outerboarder that happened to strike his fancy Seanachai is proposing that we grant Knighthood to Simonized Floss.

Well it's just NOT ON! Did we fight the good fight against the outerboard scum just to allow some smooth talking grog to jump in and be elevated above his peers (they being SSNs just as he is)? Now granted the lad showed some promise and some moxie but WE WILL NOT ABANDON TRADITION! Let him be taken to squire, let him fight the fights and then I'll welcome him with open ... no, wait, that's Bauhuaus's job isn't it.

I tell you it's not easy being the ever vigilant Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally I note with a degree of approval that my loyal and trusty squire Lars has been paying attention:Lord Shaw, I believe we might be looking at a case of judicial misconduct

here. It would explain Seanachai's rather light sentence. At the very least, looking into it would up your billable hours.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmmm, interesting, however I'm afraid that actions taken OUTSIDE of the CessPool that do not directly affect the CessPool are outside of our jurisdiction. The case of Seanachai was clearly different in that he posted HERE as well and disregarded standing CessPool rules. I'm as disgusted by Lorak's TONE as any in here, but there's really nothing to be done ... this time. Furthermore I must remind you that as Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool we are simple civil servants and work for a paltry amount unlike the pampered peacocks of Seanachai's former defense.

Good thinking, though, lad. Now ... my hip waders have been depressingly dull lately, I think a good cleaning would do them a world of good so get to it lad. No, no, no, not with just a rag, I'm thinking of the spit shines that Agua Perdido used to give them. A good high gloss now, don't forget. And, oh, I'll need a full report, with screen shots on "Seanachai and the Outer Board" ... never can be TOO prepared you know.

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Perhaps a bit of readjustment is in order. Is there a doctor in the 'Pool?

Failing that, where is the Keeper of The Brick?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Readjustment! You dare to suggest that I, Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool am in need of readjustment? It is true that my back HAS been acting up of late, and perhaps a nice massage WOULD help ... perhaps one of the Trial Stenographers is a practicing chiropractor?

As to a "Doctor" in the pool, hell we barely have professionals here, witness Lawyer, jd, and MrSpkr as the best we could do for LEGAL representation.

And threatening with the BRICK now is it? Hmmmm, let me look at my LIST again ... Moriarty eh ... hmmmmm.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>But as a professional agitator and disdainer of the overweening (a category

seemingly made for that buzzing nat, Shaw)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'd defend Lorak but (a) what's the point and ( I'm the Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool and it wouldn't be appropriate.

Let me deny categorically that I'm a professional agitator ... I'm just a gifted amateur. And I have NEVER disdained the overweening, I merely pity you for example.

Finally, while I make it practice NOT to correct spelling errors, it's perfectly obvious that you are unaware that the insect you refer to should be spelled GNAT. Consider this a public service brought to you by your friends in The One The True CessPool.

Now sod off.

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If that demented dwarf Shaw hadn't persecuted Seanachi this would never have happened.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Prosecuted damnit, not persecuted. You PERSECUTE someone who is innocent, I PROSECUTED Seanachai and won a conviction for crimes HE COMMITTED.

And what were those crimes? Mainly ... HELLO ... going to the outerboards! So you see, we of the CessPool, you filthy (two can play at THAT game) little SSN, POLICE OUR OWN! Now slink back to the outerboards and talk about SMG squads and the latest freaking MUD mod, we don't like YOUR KIND in here, boyo.

Joe

p.s. Besides, my pitiful little P3 450 and 16 meg video card can't run Tiger's mods too well so it's not an issue for ME and therefore is unimportant to the rest of the world.

[ 07-26-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I do believe I might actually be able to stay awake while I watch your half-arsed attempt at manoooverin.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh, well I am sorry for your sad case of narcolepsy then. No doubt that would explain the disjointed nature of your posts. In any case I wasn't offering a game, I was just curious if you actually were trying to GET a game with me. If so, you are going about it in an odd fashion. Remember, I play people that I ENJOY playing, people whose posts amuse me and people who play the game for fun ... whoops, that's three strikes I believe ... you're Out!

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You moron! A date is a vegetable too!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You moron! A date is a fruit!!

One of Many Pages Identifying Dates

And please, for once, resist the temptation.

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I was paying attention, but you evidently were not. I never asked you publish the list ... only to identify the SSN I purportedly supported.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gawd what a twit. I SAID ... Before You Ask about the list ... and I never said you WERE on the list, I merely suggested that if you kept up your current attitude you might end up on it. And you still might for calling me paranoid, you're just like everyone else, all of you are out to get me, following me, taping my phone calls, substituting pod people for my family, WELL YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As you failed to strike any jot, whit or iota of fear into my heart whatsoever, I guess I fail to make the list. It's either that or I don't know who I am. Which is possible.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I agree ... I think.

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Just which SSN have I supported? Stand and deliver, your lupins or your life. (oops, wrong bit, there, but I digress)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now you weren't paying attention Sir Moriarty, I stated first that I had a SECRET list of FOUR Knights and I asked if you wanted to be number FIVE. See the beauty of the secret list is that it is SECRET and I can add whoever I want. And before you ask, no I won't publish the list because then it wouldn't be ... hello ... SECRET! But just remember that I've got spies everywhere. The Committee on UnCessPudlian Practices NEVER RESTS!

This is fun, I can see why Joe McCarthy got such a kick out of it.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

And to answer the question, it's normally NOT the done thing to bold one's own name, but in this case I wanted to strike a little fear into the hearts of the SECRET supporters of the Outerboarders and SSNs, you know who you are ... and SO DO I!

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hey SUCKboy, is this the kind of "Artful Taunting" you were referring to

yesterday? Magnificant Mushy! It's always so stimulating to see Kinnigets at work. You’re undigested slop rates right up there with SDN’s.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sir Mensch is a full fledged Knight of the CessPool while you are ... allow me to check ... ah, yes, here it is ... The Whuppin' Boy ... Ah me {wipes tear from eye}. Therefore he is as far above your station (the Texaco on the corner if I'm not mistaken?) as is the Earth from the Moon. For that reason, he is automatically right and you are automatically wrong ... actually you're automatically wrong all the time. Consider that Sir Mensch is not abiding in this country (or even in YOUR country ... have you crowned Jesse yet?) and therefore may not be completely cognizant of proper grammatical construction. Even if he IS well versed in English, everyone makes the odd mistake ... you wandered in here didn't you, and to berate someone for their grammar or spelling is usually considered ... poor form. But then we've come to expect that of you.

Am I to deduce from your previous post that you DO want a game with me?

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

Lorak, I am pleased as punch (not that I've ever seen punch particularly looking pleased ... I mean it just kind of Sits there doesn't it ... all green or red or orange or whatever color) to report yet another in my campaign to PROVE that skill at CM is immaterial to the good work of the CessPool.

That's right, I've lost another game, and not just ANY old loss, but one to Bauhaus no less. Now mind you it was nip and tuck for a while there. I was winning handily, shelling the snot out of his infantry thanks to a cleverly placed FO and blowing his armor to kingdom come. I thought I'd have to deal with another win for while. Then, luckily (and I DO mean LUCKILY) his reinforcements of a Panther, three Mk IVs and assorted HTs showed up just as MY reinforcements of Sherman Vs and Fireflies showed up. All in all it was about equal. And then, in The Luckiest Turn in CM History, virtually ALL of his vehicles survived and only ONE of mine did. Well, I heaved a large sigh of relief let me tell you. But I forgot that I was dealing with Bauhaus don't you see. The silly lad sends his tanks in to mix it up with my infantry! He had some excuse about occupying VLs or some such. At the end of the game he had the Panther and a couple or three HTs left ... oh and a Minor Victory too. Talk about your close run things.

Bauhaus: WIN

Joe Shaw: LOSS

Joe

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Moriarty warned: It's statements like this, ya plodding whelp, that will bring swift and sure retributions from the likes of Pshaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That would be Sir Joe Shaw to you Moriarty and don't think I haven't had my eye on you for quite some time now.

I have a secret list of at least 4 Knights and 6 Squires who are in league with and supporting SSNs and Outerboarders. Would you like me to up that total to 5 Knights? Just keep it up pal.

Now ... onto other matters, you are quite correct that Are_Geek would normally be called onto the carpet that he has piddled upon, but as an SSN he has NO legal standing in the CessPool and is therefore NOT subject to the obligations of a Knight or Squire of the CessPool. So what's to be done you ask? He has NO standing and therefore we can do whatever we like with him.

Unless someone should propose him as a Serf his correction is up to each of us. While I like the tone of his initial post (he shows some wit and gumption and he dislikes Seanachai, that's always a plus) he needs to post a few more times before we can judge his mettle.

Sir Joe Shaw, Prosecutor and Protector of The One The True CessPool

[I Saw a Beast Rise Up Out of the Sea, and Upon His Heads the Name of Peng Challenge]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Taken from a late, unlamented thread since locked down by the Bald Angry One. In it, Berli stated: No, that looks like something Joe Shaw would come up with. Wasn't he the one that was talking about his +5 Underwear (Yes, Bauhaus, it was in referance to you)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Right then, that's about it from YOU boyo, I CHALLENGE you to a game of ... oh wait ... we're already playing aren't we, drat the luck! Furthermore that IG of yours is dead meat, see if it isn't.

Joe

p.s. It was +7 Underwear you goof, and they were Underoos at that. As if I'd be caught dead in +5 Underwear.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sorry, lads, sorry, but I forgot this and it wouldn't do to let it pass without comment. You see, Berli suggested that: No, Joe is completely wrong. We are not a community (which impliesa

certain level of social tolerence), nor are we some sort of limp wristed democracy (if we were, this might become the George Bush Jr

Challenge Thread).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually YOU'RE wrong, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it. This IS a community, granted one that is typically festooned with signs promoting Community Policing and one in which the neighbors are more heavily armed (and inclined to USE said arms) than you might find on Maple Street USA, but a community nontheless. We have our Village Idiot ... actually more than one, we've done ourselves proud on THAT score. We have a Mayor sort of figure (if you count Lorak's physique as a figure ... which I don't. We have the religious aspect covered to a fare-thee-well with Father Confessor Peng and the aforementioned Berli the Evil One. We have the certified old codger/character in OGSF and the certifiable character in Bauhaus. We have the lovely and theoretically lovable ladies of some repute in YK2 and Kitty and there is even the respectable learned one (remember that the reputation doesn't always pan out) in Seanachai. Oh yes, Berli we're a community all right ... I can see the moving vans arriving any moment.

Joe

[ 07-25-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]