Joe Shaw
-
Posts
9,270 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Joe Shaw
-
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Obviously what is going on is a Great Conspiracy amongst public grogs (like Pigg-Dogg) and some here-to-fore UNKNOWN grogs such as Joe Shaw (?!?!?) to cover the obvious inability of BTS to implement
something as simple as flag mobility.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The only thing SIMPLE around here is YOU pal. The FACTS are obvious, MVFs were "mobile" in the same sense that a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) was "mobile". Sure it could be done, and in fact the movement of a MVF was often done with a MASH unit in support (hernias, smashed fingers, sprains and strains being all too common in the effort), but it was far from SIMPLE and ... wait for it now ... WAS NOT WITHIN THE SCOPE AND SCALE OF CMBO.
Now SOME might suggest that with the unit scale could be bumped to +4, thus allowing the larger figures to more easily manuver the cumbersome flag, but this ignores common practice in the era when ALL armies prohibited units from shifting to +4 scale IN A COMBAT AREA. The ONLY time that units could engage +4 scale was when visiting certain establishments of entertainment. It has even been suggested that the +4 scale was more often CLAIMED than PROVED, and that it didn't equally affect all troop properties.
The specious argument also overlooks several important factors accurately modelled by BTS.
1. Shift B - Unit Bases could severly impact a unit's ability to move the MVFs in that the size of the base made it virtually impossible to get anywhere NEAR the MVF.
2. Shift M - Show 3 men per squad would effectively eleminate one or two men, thus reducing the manpower available for the job.
3. Shift F - Objective Flags could render the whole exercise pointless IF THE DAMN FLAGS WERE INVISIBLE!
Get a clue people, BTS KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
Joe
-
[serious] Stuka, it was a joke, I really do know the history of WW2 in the Pacific. But before you write off the U.S. contribution you might remember the Battle of the Coral Sea. [/serious] And besides, the water drains the wrong way there.
Joe
-
Lawyer You Idiot, trust you to bring up THAT old chestnut again. How many times must BTS explain that while MVF (Mobile Victory Flags) WERE used, their use was strictly limited to a STRATEGIC role and simply don't fit within the scale and scope of CMBO. Despite the SPECULATION of others on this thread ("Oh it shouldn't be too hard" ... "Why I bet one man could carry a couple" ... "I once carried a soccer corner flag for two blocks") BTS has, as usual, done it's homework and prohibited, rightly, the movement of MVF during the course of the game. ANYONE with half a brain (I realize this excludes YOU) only has to look at any map in CMBO and it will become immediately obvious that the MVF were DAMN BIG and HEAVY! All of this nonsense about moving the flags obscures the REAL issue ... why don't they block LOS? Trees do it, bridges do it, even educated bees ... no wait that's something else. Something that large would surely cause a major problem for the LOS and, AND if the wind is heavy how come you don't hear the flapping, huh, HUH?
Joe
[ 08-05-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>units should be able to run while carrying Australia.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh I think that the rest of the world, particularly the USA, has been CARRYING Australia for some time now.
We kept them from being overrun by the Japanese in WW2 after the Australian Middle Command (let's not give them more credit than they deserve) decided the best way to defend Australia was to send all their guys to NORTH AFRICA!
We have propped up their economy by watching (with more or less interest) the three (THREE for the love of Gawd) Crocodile Dundee movies and the interminable Crocodile Hunter series on TV (Crickey mate, I've got to be VERY careful here, she's a naughty little girl she is ... Terri ... can you change the baby's diaper?)
We here in the CessPool have done our part by allowing people like {shudder} Mace into the Pool ... I'd mention the others but it's a bit early in the day here and my stomach can't handle much upset.
What's my point ... I'm not sure but then I re-read Seanachai's post and I'm ... a little confused right now.
Joe
-
Mark IV I noticed the same thing and I concur with your reward system. The only question now is what KIND of hair. Not for our Bald, Angry friend the locks of, say, some blond beach god with more pecs than brains. No, I'm thinking of something black, greasy and down to his shoulders, perhaps with a bandana, something along the Hell's Angels line perhaps?
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Goanna continues to dwell in the land of Oz where everything is upside down, including logic. He suggests:
Meanwhile, Pshaw is having delusions of tactical adequacy for putting several creaky, noisy M4s (that were leaking oil anyway) out of action. He will nonetheless be brought to account, oh yes, he will.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now it is WELL known by this time that winning at CM is immaterial to me, BUT when needs must I will defend my TROOPS, note you the difference.
In this case the green, scaly and primitive lifeform has lost three (3) Shermans and one (1) M-8 to my one loss of a Mk IV (not to be confused with the Mark IV mentioned above which we simply WISH we could lose). This doesn't include the numerous infantry losses he's incurred to virtually none for me. I have the position, the troops and he knows he has to try to take it from me as the points are in my favor. Wake up and smell the Goanna guano, lad, it's all but history now.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Shaw: You insult me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh it wasn't intentional ... mind you I'm pleased with the result anyway but it really shouldn't count unless I try.
Joe
-
Happy Birthday Mace ... assuming of course that it IS your birthday and not yet another of your ploys to cadge a free drink from the local pub!
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So where does Jabo come from?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> From an airfi ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And don't say airfield...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sorry, sorry, terribly sorry, won't happen again. My mistake.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>How did PL come to be known as Sancho? And where did Jabo come from?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> David, old friend ... well, alright, strike the last ... your continued attendance upon the Outerboard has been noticed and it is felt that it has deviated (sit down Bauhaus) your attention from that which really matters, i.e. The CessPool. In short, you really MUST pay attention.
Panzer Leader has been redubbed Sancho by Seanachai, though I refuse to follow his instructions since Panzer Leader IS a full fledged (Has anyone ever heard of a partially fledged, or an unfledged anything? I've heard of a fledgLING, which whould certainly apply.) Squire and therefore his name SHALL be spelt correctly AND bolded ... this despite that fact that I personally detest and despise him ... as I do all others here.
Jabo! came from the fertile and ever inventive mind of yours truly ... though I'm quite sure I don't see any connection nor any reason for you to ask the question. Still, you are British and that could explain a great deal.
Joe
-
Okay, now this is just WRONG! Wrong on so many levels I don't know if I can list them BUT I'LL TRY!
1. PawBroon it strikes me as akin to THEFT to take the thread title proposed by another member and use it for your own.
2. We have usually waited until the Bald Angry One alerts us before we create a new thread.
3. You are, how shall I put this, not always the most easily understood of posters to the MBT, it therefore behooves you TO USE FREAKING VOWELS ... even if MrSpkr doesn't in his name. It would be NICE if the first post was at least understandable.
4. NO RULES POSTED. You try to gloss over that by stating that we aren't SSNs ... no BUT THE RULES ARE THERE FOR THE SSNs THAT INVARIABLY WANDER INTO THE NEW THREAD.
5. It is WRONG to have the MBT hosted by the French ... I'm not sure why but it just IS ... it's one of those gut level things.
That being said ... {sigh} I agree with MrSpkr and his gracious relinquishment of the thread and acknowledge this to be the latest (though HARDLY the greatest) incarnation of the MBT. That we have sunk so low ...
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Jo Sha: (prostrating himself and banging his head on the ground three times)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I did NOT prostrate myself ... I tripped ... those damn gowns trail under the feet you know and it's not as if you stone flags are even or anything. Seems Meeks could do something about that. As to banging my head three times I admit to that but the first time was a DIRECT result of the trip, the second was a rebound from the first hit and the third time ... well it just felt so damn good I had to try it again.
[serious - but mostly just to annoy Marlow] Welcome back, may we assume this won't be a once in a millenium occassion?[/serious]
Joe
p.s. I like MrSpkr's thread title too, the first one that is, the second one didn't have CHALLENGE in it.
-
[serious] von shrad, best of luck and get well soon. There aren't enough of us as it is, we can't afford to lose any ... [/serious] ... except for PeterNZer of course.
Joe
-
The Scene: A hidden, secret room somewhere in the keep of the dungeon of the tower of the castle (something like that) of Sir Joe Shaw. The walls are covered with charts, maps and diagrams. There are two desks in the room, both scratched and dented from hard use. On one is the carved legend "AP was Here", on the other is a crude sketch of a female form with the legend "Speedbump goes here" and an arrow to ... well, enough of that.
Suddenly the door opens and a figure in a brown sackcloth gown hurries in, checks his watch, breaths a sigh of relief and sits in one of the desks.
Not a moment later, the door crashes open and Sir Joe Shaw enters. Upon his shoulders is a cape of royal blue and stitched upon the cape in threads of gold is the phrase, "If I turn out the lights will thee kiss me in the dark baby?" Sir Joe glowers at the figure seated at the desk and walks to the podium.
Upon the podium is a seal resembling the Seal of the President of the United States but closer examination shows the Eagle to be a vulture and the title is "Strong Enough to Gag a Buzzard." It is apparently a cast off piece of marketing for an off brand of cheese. Sir Joe presses a button and a screen crumples from the ceiling to the ground with a thump. Sir Joe looks startled and then says:
Sir Joe: Uh Lars, fix that tonight will you?
Lars: My pleasure Sir Joe. I assume that we are following the syllabus for tonight's lesson? I've completed my 16 page treatise on "The Blood Hamster, a Modern Anachronism."
Sir Joe: No lad, that must wait ... though I do NOT see a sufficiency of spittle upon the pages, re-do it by tomorrow night and this time I want to SEE evidence of your outrage at the outdated and barbarous practice.
Lars: {making notes frantically} Yes Sir Joe, more spittle, yes my liege. But what of tonight's lesson?
Sir Joe: Tonight lad we deal with a far greater issue ... GAMINESS!
Lars: {stifles a sigh but cannot help rolling his eyes} Uh ... Yes Sir Joe, as you say a Great Issue indeed, but surely we've covered that in lessons 14 - 34?
Sir Joe: {assumes a stern look on his handsome and careworn visage} Yes lad, we have covered the issue of gamey PLAYERS ... but not ... GAMEY DESIGNERS!
Lars: {gasps in astonishment} Surely no one else has dared to create another Jabo! my liege?
Sir Joe: What's that? No, no, Jabo! isn't gamey it's ... it's ...
Lars: A learning tool my liege?
Sir Joe: Exactly that, quite so, indeed. No, this DESIGNER {Sir Joe fairly hisses the word} has created a far more foul piece of work than that.
Lars: And this designer would be ...?
Sir Joe: MrPeng!
Lars: {Lars makes the sign of the evil eye and shudders in fear}. My liege, is the fight between you and Sir Berli going ill?
Sir Joe: Well ... not exactly that ... exactly ... but well how would YOU describe a scenario in which the designer first placed vehicles in a corner of the map entirely surrounded by woods and with no LOS or way to enter the fight?
Lars: Uh ... Pengish?
Sir Joe: Yes, very Pengish indeed. And then he placed my vehicles and troops in column in a position that was commanded by a 75mm IG. Berli had merely to press GO to destroy much of my column.
Lars: {valiantly attempts to stifle a giggle} Oh ... very Pengish ... and very Gamey my liege.
Sir Joe: Yes isn't it. But that's not the worst by far. No, this foul PENG fellow then gives me reinforcements of Shermans!
Lars: {Confused} I am ... confused, why would that be gamey?
Sir Joe: {in a roar} BECAUSE THE BASTICHE PUT THEM ON TOP OF A CLIFF THAT CAN'T BE CROSSED! The damn things are nothing but long range mobile direct fire artillery!
Lars: My liege that is ... diabolical ... can nothing be done? Perhaps a challenge to this Peng creature?
Sir Joe: Alas, my true and faithful squire that step has been taken anon ... mind you MENSCH has yet to finalize the details and THEN we must wait ... no doubt for ages ... for a file from Peng. But ... on to our lessons lad, a quick quiz perhaps ... how do you tell a gamey player?
Lars: If he's in the CessPool, he's a gamey bastiche my liege.
Sir Joe: Well done lad, well done.
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>While I complete agree that no Knight should be forced into accepting any regular battle, I firmly believe that the traditions of the Pool, of which you are their main defender, preclude the ignoring of a Blood Hamster from another Knight.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
[serious]All kidding aside, I am absolutely NOT going to be FORCED by you or anyone else to play a GAME, A GAME for God's sake that I don't want to play for whatever reason I don't want to play it. I have played games against people with whom I would not play again. I hasten to add that I don't include CessPoolers in that category, but my choices of whom to play are my own and my reasons for making those choices are my own. I have, in the past, declined invitations to play against good friends because I simply didn't have the time. I have too many games going now for my comfort level but I didn't want to refuse my friends here.
I apologize if I seem a bit heated about this but I'm not going to be goaded into playing when I don't want to. Life is too damn short and brutish to spoil a couple or three weeks playing a game that I don't want to play.
As to the Blood Hamster match, if someone WANTS to do this, fine, let them. I have played a Blood Hamster match. It had MONTH long control of the sig line. I choose not to do that again because MY posts are MINE. I'm not going to allow ANYONE to post something in my name of which I don't approve. That's MY choice, it may not be yours.
Now I realize that this proposal was made in good fun and the spirit of the CessPool, but I think it's important that this NOT go any further. The day that someone tells me I HAVE to play someone, or play a certain type of game in a certain way is the day I leave.
Please accept my apologies for intruding on the CessPool in this manner.[/serious]
Joe
-
Wildman ... do TRY not to be an idiot, I know it'll be a stretch for you but give it a shot. This is NOT some ladder or Grog dominated competition ... Knights of the CessPool play WHOM THEY CHOOSE WHEN THEY CHOOSE AND HOW THEY CHOOSE. It is most certainly NOT up to the likes of YOU to decide the rules for the CessPool.
I rejected MrPeng's Blood Hamster match ... because I COULD and because it would annoy him. I could just as easily have rejected the game entirely due to the number of games I was playing.
Now go pretend that you're important ... somewhere else.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Simon Fox, Official CessPool Grog, reintroduced himself (well, in part, I see why Seanachai wanted him here, he's the only one more longwinded than the Faux Irishman): official cesspool grog eh? Should I embolden it and place it in my sig? To trumpet it?s hollowness around the forum?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My dear Official CessPool Grog the esteemed Simon Fox, no need to trouble yourself over that trivial task, I envision the denizens of the CessPool actively searching for your posts on the outerboards and supporting your position by reminding EVERYONE of your new and illustrious position. We are confident that, having been thus identified, even LoserName will fall silent before the weight of your credentials.
Joe
p.s. Ple?se forgi?e me? for incor?ec? punc?uation in th? a?ove ?ost.
[ 07-31-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berli deliberately misquoted me as saying: Exactly my point Berli, we, fellow Knights of the CessPool, are lackeys to do the wishes of the Old Ones ... then added this: 'bout time you saw the light. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Berli, a TRUE Old One wouldn't have to stoop to misquotes ... he would use the original quote AS IS and THEN twist the meaning to suit his purposes ... Seanachai wouldn't NEED to lie ... but then he's a LEGITIMATE Old One.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thus Ruled Our Wise and Benevolent Lord Lorak: In Cesspool site news. A special place for our Lady YK2 and our cesspool grog Simon Fox has been added.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> To wit:
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lady of the pool !
YK2
Official CessPool Grog
Simon Fox<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
A wise and well thought out ruling, Lord Lorak and the fact that it was MY idea merely underscores the wisdom of your ruling.
My welcome goes to Simon Fox, who, though NOT A KNIGHT, is the Official CessPool Grog and is deserving of proper spelling and bolding.
And to Dame YK2, Lady of the Pool ... we love you madly milady.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>[serious] I wish to apologize to Mr. Shaw for my SUCK campaign. ...much snivelling and whining in an OBVIOUS attempt to curry my favor like a lickspittle toady ... rather made my day in fact. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Now THAT'S just about enough of THAT laddy. To suggest, even while labelling it as an oxymoron, that there's such a thing as ACCEPTABLE Poolian behavior (or behaviour for Sir David among others) goes ... well it goes beyond acceptable Poolian behavior. We'll have no more of THAT nonsense.
[serious]No problem, email and net communication is problematical at best and intentions aren't always easy to determine. When you add the nature of this thread it gets even more difficult. Everyone makes mistakes ...[/serious] look at Lawyer.
Joe
[ 07-30-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh yes, Sir Shaw, I seem to have stepped in a particularly nasty puddle of slime named Bumsquaw or some such. Seeing as how you have a squire worthy of the title, would you mind sending Lars over to see if he
can clean it off my boot? I hate to waste my time trying when there is a perfectly good squire capable of the job.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well, yes, but ... dash it all Sir MrSpkr the lad IS busy you know. Now obviously ... OBVIOUSLY ... your former Knight and Liege didn't require as strenuous a program as I maintain for MY squires and so perhaps HIS squires could simply fly hither and yon at will. Lars, on the other hand, is busy with a paper right now ("The Old Ones, Cracked or Not All They're Cracked Up To Be?").
However, I will put it to him and see if he has the time to engage this miserable SSN.
Lars, what say you?
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berli protested thusly: Now just you wait a cotton pickin' minute! You come strollin' in here passin' titles out right and left as if your word alone were enough to make it so.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Exactly my point Berli, (Gawd, I think I'm gonna be sick). It is NOT his place to be passing out titles, be they the title of KNIGHT, GROG, INQUISITOR or whatever else his devious little mind conjures up. Nor, may I be so BOLD (get it?), is it the place of Peng ... nor YOURSELF!
Now granted the very thought of using the words DEMOCRACY adn CESSPOOL in the same post, let along phrase is enough to make a man swear off booze ... well maybe not THAT bad, but we Knights have rights too you know.
Now Seanachai is correct in ONE thing, there are classes of Knights and I hereby acknowledge my mistake (see what sort of man I am, that acknowledges his mistakes ... I am constantly amazed at my humanity) in equating Old Ones, a.k.a. Elders with Seniour Knights of which I am one.
Nonetheless, while we Seniour Knights, Knights in Ordinary and Juniour Knights rightfully sit at the feet of the Old Ones (albeit with hankies tightly pressed to nostrils) and gain wisdom (actually we hope to gain the loose change that regularly falls from their pockets as well as the odd bottle that sometimes, not often but sometimes, slips from nerveless fingers) from them, we do NOT automatically bow to their wishes.
Are we, fellow Knights of the CessPool, lackeys to do the wishes of the Old Ones? Are we merely their squires or do we have RIGHTS to have our voices heard? Are THEY the only ones who DETERMINE the course of the CessPool?
NO DETERMINATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!
IS RANK A BLANK CHECK FOR DESPOTS?
WE HAVE A VOICE FELLOW KNIGHTS OF THE CESSPOOL, WE HAVE RIGHTS AND WE DEMAND THAT THIS TYRANNY OF THE FEW, BY THE FEW AND FOR THE FEW SHALL PERISH FROM THIS EARTH.
Hummmfff ... thank you for your consideration.
Joe
-
Lorak, yo Lorak I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'M a man of honor even if others are not. Others might conveniently forget to report a game against a Knight who has been absent, others might but I don't, even when the result goes against me. So be it known that the Battle Without End against Hakko Ichiu has finally ended against all odds and I ... {shudder} won the damn thing. Yes I know, I know but I started it LONG ago when I was young and foolish and thought that winning was important. The damage done during those early turns was irrevocable and the deed is done.
Hakko Ichiu: Loss
Joe Shaw: Win
Now remember boys and girls, Sir Joe Shaw doesn't advocate winning games of CM , winning or losing makes no difference, but sometimes adults do things in their early days that they are ... well, ashamed of later ... look at Lawyer for example.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>NEW TITLE FOR JOE SHAW<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Let me see if I got this straight ... we have Lawyer who, by his own admission, is not only AN ATTORNEY but a GOVERNMENT ATTORNEY whose own photo has him standing in front of the Capitol dome as if he OWNED THE DAMNED PLACE, complaining about ME putting on airs? Now granted it would be difficult to find a more pejorative title for anyone than Lawyer, but HE WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE IT. It's not my fault that he finally realized what he was calling himself.
Joe
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>OK, Two things:
47. That is a mother beautiful map I made,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Is NOT and neither are you. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>//5.*/2II.IV/ii.2.42-11). I choose Icky as my second.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh ... good choice {snicker}, no really, I was thinking of choosing him {snort}, the very man for the job {smothers laughter}.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>11. 1500 points - combined arms - random time of day and weather. all other parameters to me are immaterial. you may choose your nationality- you may mix and match Polish trucks with French tanks, or Gerbiljaegers with Volksturm, however I will be sticking with one force type and going
about this in a manly and non-gasbaggy way.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Fine, I will take Americans and trust that Mensch will choose a well balanced and effective force. If BTS had included troops of Girl Scouts I could beat you with THEM.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>B. texas should be made to join mexico, not capitalized.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Mexico should be capitalized too, what, did you skip fourth grade English or something?
This should be a real test for me, on the one hand my hatred for you and all you stand for is so intense that I REALLY want to bash your alleged brains against a rock. On the other hand I am committed to showing the way of the CessPool in that wins and losses are immaterial and what better way to do that than to lose to Peng ... of course I'll have to lose DELIBERATELY for that to happen ... what a choice.
Joe
My MG's Can't Run Fast Enough for the Peng Challenge
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Records ARE important, not the number of wins vs losses mind you but the fact that you do have one (a record that is).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> For once, Geek Fender (no proper spelling or bolding until Squire status is achieved) is quite correct. I, for example, have several ... my favorite is Sonny and Cher's Greatest Hits on LP ... it is a bit scratched though.
Joe