Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>ENOUGH OF THIS POLITICALLY CORRECT BS!!!!
The correct expressions are: Kicked his ass up between his ears
Got bitch slapped like an unwanted stepchild <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sheesh! Talk about your bad attitudes. I think SOME evil force is a little cranky today.
Joe
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Blast, damn and hell, we're two posts from the second page! I blame Lawyer ... of course I ALWAYS blame Lawyer so ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Terence:
Wait a minute... I thought Lawyer WAS Joe Shaw?....
and replied to by Lawyer: God will get you for that remark!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I {gag} find myself in yyaaarrrkkk! agreement YYAAAAARRRRKKKKKK! with Lawyer YAAARRRRRKKKKKKKK!.
Whew! There, that wasn't as bad as I thought, didn't much care for my breakfast this morning anyway. Watch yourself Terence (no bolding for SSNs), you're speaking of your betters here you know ... well ONE of us is your better, here's a clue, he AIN'T a fecking LAWYER. While I would just take you out behind the woodshed and beat you to within an inch of your life, Lawyer would drag it out (sit DOWN Bauhaus) for ever with writs and motions and objections and torts and so on until you BEGGED for death.
On a related note, Lawyer I have made it crystal clear (as have many others) that mere WINS and LOSSES are unimportant and trivial in the CessPool scheme of things. I am doing my civic duty to ensure that the proper rules and procedures are in place. As an attorney (even such a loathsome example as a GOVERNMENT attorney) surely YOU can appreciate that noble goal. If not ... sod off.
Joe
[ 06-26-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Scribe it, Oh Lorak.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I want a ruling on my point of order first there pal. It makes perfect sense to me that if I lost the game due to ... whatever ... then you can't claim any credit for winning and therefore shouldn't ... get any credit for winning that is. Knowing Lorak I'm confident that (a) he'll either rule in my favor because it's HIS kind of logic or (
he'll get so confused that he won't give ANYONE credit for the win ... in which case I win.Joe
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Lorak point of order! If the wins and losses represent (as I suspect) Wins and Losses (call me crazy but I sense a connection there) then surely a WIN can only be scored if the person who didn't WIN (i.e. the one who had the LOSS) didn't WIN because of something the one who WON did. Right?
Because, see, in our game Seanachai DIDN'T have a LOSS, but wait, cause see, it wasn't cause he was like this great military commander or something, I mean like we ALL know better than that right? No, cause, see, it was cause I DIDN'T WIN like I should have, for a lot of silly little reasons we don't have to get into right now for this point of order. SO, if Seanachai didn't actually, like, WIN, but instead I kinda like, I don't know, maybe I had like this LOSS ya know, then HE wouldn't get credit for a WIN cause, like, hello, he didn't WIN right? I mean I had a LOSS, okay fine, sure whatever, but it's not like HE had a WIN, cause really I like had the LOSS instead, see?
So, like, whatdoyathink?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mixers are for those poor forlorn half-life's who can't seem to get a date
no matter how hard they try, so they concoct events where you can get a whole slew of misfits together and see how well they, well, mis-fit.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Or, as a wise man once said, "If it's good enough to drink, it's too good to dilute."
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>That worthless git JoeBlowShaw would love to damage my mind.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ummmm, no, not really, in the first place it would be no challenge and in the second ... IT'S BEEN DONE ... obviously.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Go ahead Josie, you can include me. You know you wanna.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Other than that ... well ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mr. Shaw Wander over to your nearest Post Office and approve the postage rate hike. They care about you as much as we do. Your approval of everything is somewhat disheartening. You should be dubbed "the
jellyfish knight". Ambiguity unleashed <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ohhmyygawwwdddd ... I've been taken to task for {gasp} ambiguity by none other than Hiram Sedai ... opps, sorry, it's Phillies Phan this week isn't it, my bad. Of course it's hard to keep track since he's here, then gone, then here again, I suppose I should break down and buy a program to keep track.
No ambiguity here lad, just an attempt to keep from having multiple Peng threads and incurring the wrath of of the bald angry one or his minions.
Admittedly I was absent on leave during the worst of the mouse incursion, but I tend to agree with Dame YK2 and I was pleased to see some of the lesser members of the CessPool (i.e. everyone except Me ... and perhaps Seanachai and Berli) give mouse the satisfaction he desired. Let's remember that we nurtured Phillies Phan away from his mamby-pamby politness to the point where he feels confident enough to take ME to task ... it's really kind of cute, like a puppy barking and attacking your slippers as you walk by.
I think we need to do the same for mouse, let's give it a shot ... and then if it doesn't work out we can give HIM a shot.
Mind you, he should heed some of the advice given here ... keep it short and infrequent.
There are only a FEW, a select FEW, who have the wit and literary ability to post at length and frequently while still retaining that springtime freshness. I, of course, am one, as is Seanachai, MrSpkr shows promise and Agua Perdido is welcome to post at any length. Other than that ... well ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Shaw I weas mistaken about you. Once upon a time I cursorarily wrote you off as a somewhat bright but dull fellow, lacking in wits what you made up for in general all-rightness. I see now how badly misaken I
was.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You were mistaken, but about the wrong thing. You see mouse, There Can Be Only One ... Peng Challenge Thread that is. We have, in the past, been in some degree of hot water over more than one Peng Thread at a given time. That the hand off on this one was fumbled is unfortunate but true. With the majority of early posts going to Leeo's thread I decided to "do the right thing" and withdraw my acceptance of your thread ... relatively well done though it was. In short, tough beans old man, stiff upper lip and all that.
As to your challenge ... I have a couple of attornies ahead of you on my list ... that should give you some idea of your place in the scheme of things.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lawyer, had I the means, I'd knight you again, and doubly so!! I knew it was above my station (unlike that mewling screeching mouse-git) to start a new MBT. That is why I appealed to the Kannigets to refuse that Spittle that Mousie spat and proclaimed the thread.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well Leeo I'll give you this, you certainly have demonstrated your ignorance and so perhaps I should forgive you.
You see lad, Lawyer is NOT a Knight of the CessPool, he is Consigliori to the CessPool and accorded all the rights and privileges OF a Knight ... but he is NOT a Knight. Luckily for us, you HAVEN'T the means to Knight him.
Secondly, YOU are a Knight of the CessPool and had all the right to start a new thread all by yourself. Luckily for us, you didn't realize that or you'd likely have mucked it about ... oh wait ... you already did.
Oh ... congratulations on the Knighthood.
Joe
edited to add comment to Lawyer: While I haven't been present for the ongoing food fight with mouse, I do understand there have been ... issues. That does not, however, change the culpability of Leeo. BUT, being a merciful man, I forgive him ... he may continue to exist.
[ 06-23-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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Very well then, since Leeo was INCAPABLE of following the RULES I suppose we can only expect that Lawyer would jump in and post the legalities. With THAT in place I accept this as The One The True CessPool. HOWEVER ... this was poorly done and if I don't see prompt improvement I may have to start the next one myself ... none of us want that. Remember Leeo If You're Not Part of the Solution ... You're a Lawyer.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Tha as tha aind o' a stankin' day ...mouse startin' a noo thraisd an' Joes
Shaw condonin' at. Full marks tae Leeo fer has initiative....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Initiative! Initiative! WHAT BLOODY INITIATIVE you Scottish Git? Did he start another thread? He did NOT, he merely suggested that we NOT patronize the other thread. Did he post the required warnings? He did NOT. Did he invite SSNs to Sod Off? He did NOT. No initiative was shown, he is a mere complainer, a whiner and a good for nothing buck passer. Had he offered an ALTERNATIVE I might have joined the cause, BUT A CESSPOOL THREAD WAS NEEDED AND NO OTHER CHOICES EXISTED. At least mouse showed enough consideration for the tradition of the CessPool to start a PROPER thread. Leeo ... just complained.
Joe
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There has been much bitterness in the Pool of late ... I blame the Liquid Plumber but who can say for sure. It is true that mouse has overstepped his bounds on many an occassion, it is true that the members of the CessPool have been led to ire by his remarks, it is true that STRENUOUS efforts at correction have been attempted, but I say the time for recrimination has passed. Was it not Seanachai himself who said "Let he among us who is without Sten cast the first grenade." It WASN'T ... really ... what DID he say? ... REALLY ... my ... that was rude.
Nonetheless I note that mouse is an official Squire of the CessPool and therefore eligible to start a new Peng Challenge Thread. I note also that BTS has locked the prior incarnation and has ordered a new one. I note that Leeo did NOT start a new thread but only asked that THIS thread NOT be attended. I note that mouse DID post the appropriate warnings in a new and effective manner and I note that the thread title is correct ... if not inspired.
Therefore I say we should give mouse another chance and accept this as the latest incarnation of the Mutha Beautiful Thread. Should he fall back on his evil ways (even after MrSpkr's attempt at exorcism), we can always start a NEW thread.
I note also with great pleasure the elevation of Speedbump, my loyal and trusty squire, to the ranks of Knighthood, welcome indeed Sir Speedbump it's ... {choke} gratifying to see ... {sob} ... I'm sorry, it's just like seeing your kids take that first successful trip to the bathroom, why he even flushed.
I also approve of the elevation of Sir MrSpkr to Knighthood and welcome him to the fraternity ... as soon as his check clears.
Carry on.
Joe
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Very Well, I withdraw my objection to the Knighting of MrSpkr (not to be confused with the Knouting of MrSpkr, which is ALSO a good idea and there's 15 points for the lad or lass who can name the military (sort of) literary reference which made Knouting known ... at least to me) ... where was I? Oh yeah, anyway since he had the wit and wisdom to quote in full one of my masterpieces, "Cess 'Em All", he is clearly of the right caliber (unlike Rommell 22) for a Knight of the CessPool.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If you would check Sir Lorak's page, you would see that I have indeed COMPLETED FIVE GAMES (with a respectable record of 2-2-1, not that I really care about that sort of thing).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Look you here, you quasi legal person, Berli the Evil suggested that you be made a Knight NOT on the basis of your record (which, I agree, should qualify you ... reprehensible though that notion is) but rather as a result of your sneaking into the CM tourney under false colors (or colours for our FERRIN friends) as NOT being a CessPooler (for which, again, well done). THAT criteria is CLEARLY beyond the Pale and even beyond the tan in my humble but correct opinion. While it is true that I didn't bother to check the records shown on the page of Lorak (what, am I some jshandorf or PeterNZer who actually CARES about such things?), that doesn't change the essential point of the post, which was, essentially ... pointy.
Should you be qualified as a Knight {shudder} then likely Lorak, once roused from his chocolate induced haze, will recognize you as such, until then ... Pfffffttttttt!.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So, as I was saying, trying to explain to an American that there are individual countries across the water where real people live,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> They're FERRINERS for gawd's sake ... real people indeed ... hell, some of them eat haggis!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I put forward that the Squire MrSpkr should be elevated to knighthood for his bold coup on the Outer Board.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Berli, while I applaud the actions of MrSpkr (I suspect that substantial amounts of cash were involved ... which I also applaud), I must cast a vote for tradition and vote "NO" ... it's also more fun to annoy MrSpkr and, of course, your own evil self but it is also true that Lorak has an unbreakable rule that a squire MUST complete FIVE (5) CessPool games before being elevated to the exaulted rank of Knight and therefore, with virtually no regret and possibly the longest single run on sentence in CessPool history I say to you ... Pffffttttttt!.
Joe
[ 06-23-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>This alleged Joe Shaw admission has been enshrined in American history at the Smithsonian Institution for the following reasons:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Isn't it JUST like a Lawyer, and specifically just like THIS Lawyer to take comments out of context AGAIN.
If you are going to quote my posts, kindly quote the RELEVANT portions and not just those portions which you have clipped and pasted to serve your nefarious ends. You are the lowest of the low and the vilest of the vile ... in short you are ... Lawyer.
Joe
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I am pleased, indeed, thrilled, to report to the CessPool that my games are going swimmingly. Specifically, the ones that I thought were going to be a victory now appear likely to end in defeat and those that looked to be defeats are turning into unmitigated disasters. Hah! I love it when a plan comes together. Now my record of only two wins (and one of those a Jabo!fest against my loyal and trusty squire Speedbump) will NOT be sullied by further gratuitous and unsightly wins. While foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds (coujshandorfgh), HONEST consistency is the stuff of legend.
Dalem troubles me ... well, yes, in THAT way too, but I was referring to our game. Unless he does something ... I don't know ... TACTICAL ... in the next few turns I could actually win this group grope in the dark we're playing. {shudder} But I have confidence that I'll pull something out of the hat (out of the HAT, the HAT Bauhaus) and lose this one too.
Hakko Ichiu and I continue the game that never ends. I'm firmly convinced that when we get to turn 30 or 40 or 70freaking5 or whatever it's going to give me a reinforcement announcement telling me that I have an additional 25 turns to play. I've pushed him back atop his VL and our reinforcements are duking it out now.
Mace and I continue our View One match. I'm in the lead currently but something will happen to change that ... something always does.
Mensch has prevailed in his devious Let's play a REALLY small game in the fog so I might get lucky and nail your guys before you nail mine. Needless to say ... it worked for him.
Bauhaus continues to revel in the fruits of the single worst (for me) / best (for him) turn of CM I've ever seen. I admit with no small degree of pride to an unparalled ability to turn victory into defeat ... what can I say ... it's a gift.
Seanachai managed to turn my unexpected streak of luck (I killed half of his HTs and Tanks without losing a single one of mine) into HIS unexpected streak of luck (his remaining half killed the BETTER half of my vehicles) and now my lads, having failed in a brave but forlorn charge into the teeth of his defense, are broken and bleeding and {Sob} I ... I can't take it ... Oh the humanity.
I owe victories to Goanna, jd and probably a few others ... note that I did NOT say games, I'm getting more practical in my old age.
Joe
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Lawyer you idiot, you ... uh ... actually that covers it pretty well I think, I could go on but idiot seems appropriate.
I made NO claim for the presence of nor the existence of SSNs in our midst. If you can manage to pry your nose from the latest issue of Rubber Suit and Whip magazine (glad your lifetime subscription came through, btw, I'm sure you'll save money that way), you MIGHT note that my claim was ONLY for the TERM SSN, not for the noxious creatures themselves. To this point you, to no one's surprise, have failed to address yourself.
As to my intellect ... I'M not a member of the legal profession ... 'nuff said.
Joe
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I want some ByGawd credit, so I do. It has become the fashion, indeed practically a requirement to refer to those who wander into the CessPool as Scum Sucking Newbies ... or SSNs ... as, of course, they are. But did this highly apropos term, this gem of description arise from thin air ... or even from one of the bubbles that surface periodically from the area surrounding Goanna?
Did Berli in his evilness come up with it? HAH! Berli might, with the aid of a strategically placed finger, come up with the half digested remnants of his dinner tonight but not this gem.
Seanachai then, did the faux Irishman himself croon it between renditions of "Tooralooraloorah"? Don't make me laugh ... Hahahahaha ... damnit I said DON'T make me laugh, people can't follow instructions anymore.
Perhaps Lawyer inserted it into some obscure Federal notice dealing with sustituting cynanide for blood pressure medication (those elderly are getting SO annoying about their prescriptions)? NONSENSE! The only Inserting Lawyer does ... sit DOWN Bauhaus, at least allow me to finish the line ... is when his forefinger disappears into one or another of his nasal cavities.
Did Dalem invent it in his spare time? Come on ... do you REALLY think that Dalem could invent ANYTHING?
Nay say I, it was I, Sir Joe Shaw, Knight of the CessPool and all around general swell fellow who was the originator of the phrase BUT DO I GET ANY CREDIT FOR IT? Bah! of course not. My genius is used on a practically daily basis but is there perhaps a "By Your Leave Sir Joe", is there even a simple "TM" applied to it? HAH, there is NOT!
So what's my point? Eight I think, but it's so hard to read the dice with my new bifocals.
Joe
(edited because I damned well felt like it)
[ 06-22-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>This quiz must be rigged. It says my answers match up with Benedict Arnold. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Don't confuse Arnold's unfortunate choices at the end of his American army career with his abilities as a General. He was, in fact, a superb combat general and is felt by many to be the REAL victor at Saratoga, Gates happened to be the overall commander and so got the lions share of the glory.
There is a great book on Arnold called, IIRC, "Dark Eagle".
I got Jones, though I didn't care for the choices in question 4.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'd vote for that bit of fantasy to become reality if I didn't hate you so much, you know. You skip off into NeverNever Land and I'm supposed to remember how the hell I was killing you before you left?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That COULD be because you had essentially lost the game by turn 1.5 and are just dragging out the agony. But I hold no grudges, I am still willing to accept your surrender ... for a limited time only, one per family, all sales are final.
Joe
he'll get so confused that he won't give ANYONE credit for the win ... in which case I win.
Please, In all that is Holy, do not allow mouse to start a PENG CHALLENGE!!!
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
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Dalem ... DAMN YOU SIR! I had my record, sir, and one to be proud of. A record that said in bold letters writ high on a cliff that Wins In CM Mean Nothing! Oh sure, I had the one win against Meeks but that was the exception that proved the rule. The other win was my duty as a liege lord to instruct my squire and was, after all, a Jabo! win as the Allies.
But then YOU had to come along, you with your mealy mouth challenge and your insistence on trying lousy weather and nighttime. Oh you sucked me in all right, like a cutthroat rising to a Royal Wulff on a light tippet. AND THEN YOU LOST! How dare you! You've ruined my image damn you ... I'll not forget this boyo, not for a long, LONG while.
Lorak:
Joe Shaw - Win ... damn it.
Dalem - Loss ... damn him.
I think I need a drink.
Joe