Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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YK2, how nice to "see" you again and I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for Mace ... in advance actually. He's not been the same since you and Kitty became scarce and ... well ... there's just no telling.
Joe
(opps, really, I MEANT to say "scarce" not "scare" ... really.)
[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>What is it about the English and boys?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good question, AND they had the BOYS AT Rifle ... coincidence? I think not.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'd like to think of myself as a gifted amateur. son.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Right then, clueless, much as I expected. Oh and I'm sorry if my usage of "son" offended you and made it appear that you're ... immature in any way. I just naturally assumed that anyone who CHOSE a handle of "boy_Recon" did so for a reason.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Otherwise aren't you making life tough
on yourself by letting so many people know you're a cretin?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Look son, there's just two possibilities here, one is that you're brand spanking (sit down Bauhaus) new to the board and are, therefore, clueless. The other is that you've actually been around for a while under another name and have re-registered to preserve your identity, in which case you're spineless. Your choice.
Joe
eited to exchange "spineless" for original choice which was more accurate but less polite.
[ 05-09-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Carry on, chaps. Don't mind me.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not to worry, old man, we weren't. Kindly advise us when the thrill of posting and seeing your "name" in print, be it only on the screen, wears off.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>MrSpkr (still not clear on bolding of Serfs)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There has been no formal determination as to bolding (balding, on the other hand, seems to be the result of losing hair) of names. My personal preference (which should be bloody well good enough for YOU, young squire) is to bold the names of Knights, Consigliori, Squires and those Serfs who demonstrate some promise. In this case I have decided to bold the name of MrSpkr ... mostly because he likes fried okra.
Btw, your paper on Seanachai was adequate, while I think you could have found better examples I realize that sifting through all of his posts would be much worse than the "sifting" you referenced in your post and no one can expect that.
Your next assignment is a 14 page paper on "boy_Recon ... What the Hell was PawBroon Thinking?"
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>His bunkers say "88" Is that bad?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Not at all, "88" just refers to the degree of protection afforded by the bunker, in this case it's a total of "88" mm penetration factors. Therefore, your Shermans, with their 75mm guns, would only need two hits to exceed the 88mm protection factor unless you happen to have 105 Shermans in which case ONE hit will take the bunker out. Don't forget to maximize your chances by attacking the pillbox from the front while stationary and at as long a range as possible. It can also be helpful to position your tank so that it "moons" the pillbox by putting the tanks rear facing toward the pillbox. Good luck.
Joe
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I'd normally be willing to vote for Mensch, but I am troubled that perhaps his campaign promises too much and will actually deliver too little. I believe that a person should not actually WANT the job so much as have it thrust upon him (Bauhaus!) and I find all this campaigning unseemly. Promising this and that for mere votes demeans the office and the office holder. For that reason I find that I would not support the candidacy of Mensch ... now if a certain Stug or two should HAPPEN to stumble into a clever ambush that resulted in a victory for ME my mood MIGHT undergo a change and in the flush of victory I MIGHT be tempted to overlook the flaws of certain candidates and vote for them.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>She's going to take that long to graduate?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well if she's hanging around with Babra she can't be too bright now can she?
Joe
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Okay, let's all give Iskander some suggestions as to how he could have written that last without getting QUITE so graphic. Here's my suggestion:
That's the H. Spirit, Leeo!... now let me consult with my assistant about your penance ... Oh Bauhaus!
There, you see, the same BASIC thought but without the ... uh ... details that the Bald Angry One might find objectionable. Any other suggestions?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Will CM 2 A.I. be any better ? Seems a shame to waste such a good game with poor A.I. Ill stick to multiplayer i think.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I certainly can't answer for BTS, though I suspect that few changes in the AI can be expected beyond minor tweaks. I do, however, disagree with your characterization of the AI as "poor".
Any rating of the AI in CM has to be a relative one. I've yet to see ANY AI in any comparable game that can consistently match a real person. I've yet to see SOME real people always play cleverly. Anytime that you present the computer with a non-vanilla terrain mix you run the risk of goofy behavior, but a single test is hardly grounds for the wholesale indictment of the AI as "poor."
There is no question that you're going to get a better match from a real person than you will from the AI ... USUALLY! But every once in a while, and frankly more often than not, you'll get your butt handed to you if you don't play well against the AI.
In conclusion and speaking relatively, I think the AI in CM is miles ahead of the pack and I am quite satisified with it. Is it perfect? Of course not, and it never will be because the judgement of it's performance will always be subjective and it's not a person ... just a clever computer program.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I concur with Berli that Peng should become the Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But he's never bloody HERE! In the off chance that one of our more disturbed members should need his ministrations (pretty scary thought that ... the cure vs. the disease, etc.) they might have to wait for days, weeks to be absolved. They might have to bear the burden of their guilt for ... hmmmm ... good point Seanachai I'm for it.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mormans always have hated me. Especially the gay ones.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey don't sell yourself short ... I'm sure there's LOTS more people that hate you. We in the Pool don't hate you ... we despise you but that's because you're one of us.
BTW, how many gay Mormons do you know? From the sounds of it you've had EXTENSIVE experience.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My vote would have to go for Hiram/Phan or mensch.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hiram! Are you out of your everloving mind? Sorry, dumb question, asked and answered and all that, but I am categorically opposed to Hiram as Confessor. I don't care which name he uses, neither Hiram Sedai nor Phillies Phan is likely to provoke much more than giggles from the flock ... (FLOCK Bauhaus, flock ... oh damn, sit down Mace ... talk about a bad choice of words).
Now Mensch has one thing going for him, his name is already Gregory!
Joe
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Right then, there'll be no more political discussions around here lads. Remember that one man's terrorist is another man's Labrador Retriever ... or something. First we were shocked to see evidence of Seanachai posting his Grogginess on the Outer Board (couldn't he have used an alias or something?) and now this. There'll be no seriousness around here or we'll know the reason why! Now shake hands and make up ... be sure to check for your watches when you get through.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Are you following this fine-tuned legal analysis? Good, then you see the point.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Indeed we do, but your hair is covering it pretty well. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Personally, I took Iskander's mention of "golden plates" as a clear reference to rich old BY's dentures. You have your Golden Arches and your golden showers, so why not golden plates?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now there's a combination you don't see everyday, golden arches, showers and plates.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So the Don has asked that Joey go along on a little fishing trip he has planned for Fredo. Feed the fishes. He don't want to hear no more about them, ya know?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey fuggidaboudit! Youse guys has got it all wrong. I don't know no Fredo 'cepting for Fred176 and Seananchai is ... taking care o' him ... if ya get my drift. And if da Don don't wanna know 'bout no fish I gots no problem wit dat, but I can't go on no fishing trip cause of how I get seasick ya know? As old Brig himself once said ... "dis mus be da place.".
Joe
[ 05-08-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Does this mean we can beat Peng with a chain, shoot him a few times, stab him and throw him in a frozen river?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You forgot about the poison, but unfortunately, much like the Mad Monk, Peng will still live.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'd say our best bet is someone slightly fatherly, but deeply disturbed, filled with a kind of folksy wisdom while lusting after teenage girls sort of figure.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well golly, THAT narrows it down to everyone except Stuka and after he's been married for another six months he'll qualify too. I was going to exempt Kitty and Emma but they don't show up here anymore (I blame Mace).
As to the golden plates, it's a Mormon thing, so I'm told, and would involve far more theology to explain ... let alone believe ... than I'm capable of at present.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'd like a Consigliari (sic) ruling on this!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Very well ... Lawyer is indeed sick ... and you spelled it wrong.
Joe
Oh, and if you were a REAL Texan you'd understand the reference to My People ... as in ... "and where do your people come from?" I was born in Texas, my parents were born in Texas, my grandparents were born in Texas and my great grand daddy drank whiskey with Judge Roy Bean.
[ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sorry, oh thy running dog of the Tabernacle Choir, ... {snipped to improve clarity ... it didn't help} ... and so it came to pass...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Did anyone follow ANY of that? Barring the odd anti-Salt Lake / Utah / Mormon rant (as if I care, I and my people came from Texas) I assume there was a POINT to his diatribe? Unfortunately Bablefish doesn't cover Iskander to English so ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lorak on the "What's Going On" Thread: We just tend to discuss them in a less dry manor.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now if this were from Seanachai, Agua or any number of others, I would applaud them for a brilliant play on words. As it was Lorak ... I'll assume it was unintentional ... but still funny.
And hey, Lewis has posted on the BAR thread, so you'll probably all want to rush right over.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally, JoeyBoy we shall recommence to erase the stain of the last game... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey pal, (don't get excited, I was just using "pal" in the conversational sense, you STILL don't have any friends) I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt "You know, I doubt if jd is even human." and allow you to slide on out of our game if you wanted but NOOOOOO! You must tread on the mouths of the grain that the kine ... uh ... bind on the grains of the kines that mouth ... um ... anyway sent a setup but be advised that I'm out of town for a week or so in about a week so ... I'll get to it when I feel like it. Others need not apply, my dance card is filled and overflowing ... speaking of overflowing ... OH Speedbump!, the bucket if you please, Agua Perdido would have anticipated my need and been following me for minutes now, you've large shoes to fill my lad. Speaking of lessons, have you completed the essay I assigned ... Tedium, Ennui and Boredom ... Seanachai Dissected."?
Joe
[ 05-07-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Although I will be home a little late this evening, I will make an effort to send you out a set up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> NOOOooooo! As you value your sanity (doubtful) and your wit (alleged), don't continue on this rash path. As one who has played jshandorf I can attest to the FACT that his emails are second only to those of PeterNZer in paucity of ... everything. There is no wit, no charm, no humor nor even any real communication. His emails usually consist of some variant of "Huh, your guys sure fried." That's when he's NOT complaining about the game's buy choices, the success of a certain Sdkfz 250/8 or his supposed paucity of infantry. Oh he'll win this match, and I couldn't be more thrilled ... I won't have to read his emails anymore. It's not too late Seanachai ... save yourself!
Joe
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Oh my this is turning out rather well. Lawyer is upset because his feelings were hurt, Speedbump and MrSpkr (sorry, no bolding for scum sucking newbies ... did we decide on Serfs? Oh well, as it's MY policy I'll bold for the Serfs I feel warrant it) are lying and weaseling to beat the band so that they can justify the outcome whatever it may be and I ... have some games ongoing:
ooOOOGahh,ooOOOGahh,ooOOOGahh,
Attention the CessPool, Sir Joe Shaw's Game Updates are Forthcoming
Doesn't he do that well? Let's all give a big hand to ... what's his name ... SLAP! ... now on to the games:
Dalem, poor deluded fool that he is, is attempting to force my mighty German troopers from their impregnable position in the town ... which also houses the sole VL. I have beaten back every attack with grevious casualties to him but he still persists, much as a storm tossed sea will persist in battering itself against the rocky shoal, only to be dashed into windblown foam ... and disappear. And he's using flamethrowers! Talk about your gamey buys. In short, he's losing, losing badly and won't even admit it.
Hakko Ichiu has returned and has even returned files! Has anyone checked the ambient temperature in Hell lately? Speaking of Hell, he is once again in desperate straights, facing the might and majesty of my Panzers with the equivilant of a Boy Scout Troop and slingshots. It's also nearly over, thank gawd, this one has a longer half life than uranium. Did I mention that I was winning?
jsahndorf ... is about to reap the fruits that his evil ways have sown. Yes ... he will have to police up the battlefield and bury ALL the deadmen ... mostly because all of my guys will be dead. I'd blame gamey tactics but the truth is that my guys ran like rabbits when confronted with the possibility of actual combat. Were it not for my Sdkfz 250/8 OF DEATH which killed a HT, a Stuart and a Jackson it would be even worse. Sure wish I could claim that he was gamey though.
Mace is pinned down and practically pegged out to dry. Our View One only game is still proceeding but his 57mm RR is now dead and his lads continue to die whenever they stick their noses out. I have the only VL, I have the position on him ... surrender seems the only viable option for him but he resists ... foolish lad.
Mensch ... Heeellloooooo, heellllooo ... he started well but apparently fades into invisibility in the stretch for I've seen neither hide nor hair of him. He may have sent an explanation but if so I've forgotten and can't be bothered to look.
Bauhaus had gained a bounce in his step and a giggle in his voice (talk about scary) with the arrival of his reinforcements and a good turn. Silly lad should realize that I have pounded his infantry into mush, will soon have all the VLs and he'll have to attack over open ground into my dug in defenders. That giggle is ... unsettling.
Seanachai is desperately holding onto the only VL as well as his rapidly fading hope. The fog has created morale problems for us but I've decimated his armor and still have gobs left. He seems to believe that I don't have enough infantry to finish the job ...
Goanna and I are still in early days but he's prattling on about proper military doctrine in the advance while I've been actually advancing, sort of a theory vs. practice thing I suppose.
That is all, go back to your dreary existence and await another report from ... Sir Joe Shaw
Joe
THE PENG I TAKE OUR CHALLENGE PUBLIC REVIVAL!!!
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
Ah my friends (I USED to be able to say "My friends AND Andreas" but it looks much like Germanboy is AWOL and may stay that way) I'm afraid you misjudge young "boy_Recon." It's not his purpose to JOIN the CessPool but rather to ridicule it ... as if anyone could ridicule us better than we ourselves do.
Joe