Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Kaniggets: Hearken to my words! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I believe I have hit upon something here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Look lad, we're not interested in your dating practices, really we're not, so don't regale us with chapter and verse on your "Gag" pick up lines. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Here are my reasons why this would (and should!) work:<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You ARE a slow learner aren't you.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>1.) SSNs generally play a game and are never heard from again. Let them play each other!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh my, aren't we the high and mighty one now that we're a squire aren't we just precious and ever so filled with ourselves aren't we just. It wasn't THAT long ago that YOU were a vile and disgusting SSN and don't you forget it laddy my lad. Leave the policies of the CessPool to your betters ... HINT Virtually ANYONE other than you.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>B.) Another level on the great climb towards Knighthood. We all love social ladders!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The only ladder you should be concerned with climbing is the evolutionary one from your current ranking of Blue Green Algae. How DARE you suggest anything to do with the rank of Knighthood, learn your place or suffer the consequences.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>III.) What could be more degrading than to be Panzer Leader's stable boy? That alone should keep our gate swinging empty!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Squires, you silly little prattling toad, do NOT have underlings, THEY are the underlings and damn happy with their station they should be too. You'll have the opportunity to snag a squire on the day you become a Knight ... snicker
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Part the Next.) We don't like them, nor do we want them, so if they MUST stay, it at least gives us more reason to taunt, jeer, and heckle their pointless existence.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh my, WE don't like them do WE? WE don't want them do WE? Just because you're a JUNIOR Squire to Sir Seanachai doesn't give you the right to put on airs you know. YOU don't represent the CessPool ... you are barely able to represent yourself.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I believe that whenever we round up a pair of doe-eyed SSNs, we should make them cock-fight for the glory of coming under the direction and leadership of their elders. to wit: the worst and vilest of squires!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The purpose of having SSNs fight is to have them fight a CESSPOOLER ... having them fight another SSN is no better than a sneer Outer Board Match! We must judge them by their posts and ability to withstand the punishment dished out BY A CESSPOOLER. In short ... dumb idea.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hoo, the glee that would create! It is titillating I tell you! Let us prepare an envoy to the blighted lands and speak with the Emperor Palpapeng. He must needs be made aware of this startling (in its despicability) idea!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We're happy that you're amused by your concept and are certain that it will provide you with many hours of entertainment ... but again ... NO! As to Peng, he is NOT Emperor and has no connection to Emperors ... unless you count that unfortunate weekend with a certain large penguin ... hmmm, could THAT be the origin of his name? Peng is ... Peng ... and Father Confessor of course.
Panzer Leader I begin to despair of you ... don't make me talk to Seanachai.
Joe
[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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Greetings fellow CessPudlians and all the ships at sea ... especially this Panzer Leader chap who is about as far AT SEA as I've ever seen. Speaking of that ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I really dislike my giganto-sig line.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Golly ... what a coincidence, I REALLY dislike it TOO! Perhaps you might consider the radical step of REMOVING THE DAMNED THING! There's a good chap.
[serious] I'd like to thank all the Poolers who took the time to express their sympathy and offer support. While Real Life is not yet completely back to normal, I have hopes that it will return soon. In the meantime, I find it somewhat ironic that the people who profess to despise us the most are often the ones who are the most supportive. Thanks. [/serious]
Now Sod Off and for Gawd's Sake Mace put that sheep down, Bahhhh! MEANS Bahhhh1
Joe
[ 06-19-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Why is it that in real life I am an intelligent, wise athlete-- head of my class, volunteer fireman, Army Officer, handsome, deliberate, lady-killing all-around great guy, but here in the cesspool, I am treated like the guy picked last on the junior high-school gym basketball team?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It is because, poor deluded fool that you are, real life is NOT REAL ... it hasn't even been confirmed that it's life but that's another story. Furthermore, here in the CessPool you ARE the guy picked last ... just look at who picked you for squire! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Madmatt woulda unnerstood. You guys are all big jerks!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yeah, Madmatt is certainly MY candidate for a touchy-feely, new age kind of guy who you can go to for understanding, he's just a really big, bald, angry Alan Alda. As to being Jerks ... thanks for noticing ... it's all we've ever asked.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Though I have been away for what seems like years, it is nice to see that many of the old members are still here. I wish you all well.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Really? Well, you have no business here then ... SOD OFF!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Josie and the Shawcats apparently thinks that a bunch of unfunny words strung together to make an unwitty remark are the same as actually sending me a turn.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now see, that's just rude. I thought it was very funny, I was giggling for hours over it, but fine, if you're going to be a stick-in-the-mud I'll send you a turn ... now stop pouting and go back to losing our game like a good lad.
I have been neglecting my turns, it's true, but it was SO nice to be away from the inane emails I get from you clowns that I wanted to hold on to the pleasure for just a bit longer.
Oh, and Pawbroon, stick-in-the-mud is not what you think it is ... not that I have any idea WHAT you might think it is, but based on your posting history it's best not to take any chances or we might get stuck with four pages of indecipherable drivel.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Dalem inquired thusly:hey Joe Flaw, where's my turn? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It will be, and you may quote me on this, in the last place you look for it. Have you checked under your bed? Perhaps in the nightstand? Where was the last place you remember seeing it? Does anyone else have any suggestions that might enable poor Dalem to find his turn?
Panzer Leader, (note, if you will ... and even if you won't) that your handle is now bolded and spelled correctly, thus reflecting your status as a Squire of the CessPool ... granted it's only to PawBroon but the forms must be observed) the scenario Jabo! is a state of mind, an homage to futility and hopelessness of nearly galactic scope and grandeur. It's purpose is to test the initiate, not in anything as trivial as skill in CM mind you, but in their ability to face certain defeat with head erect (sit down Bauhaus), flinging taunts and claiming victory despite abundant evidence to the contrary. A lesser person, i.e. one unsuited for the CessPool, would see the light and storm off in a huff, but the likely lad (or lass) will see it for what it is ... a thing of beauty to be played for the sheer art of the thing. Oh ... as to your question ... Phillies Phan once claimed to have played it as the Allies and gained only a draw, but I don't think that's possible, even for him.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now then, and I say the next bit as the voice of all good kaniggets here, since I, as a squire, would never dare to utter such things, please shut up and let people with at least a modicum of intelligence take the lead here, shall we?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I see I've overstepped my bounds and must ask the forgiveness of Sir Pawbroon (while he doesn't possess the modicum of intellegence mentioned by Panzer Leader he IS the Knight responsible). Please DO take the lead of Panzer Leader and allow him outside to, uh ... do his business. He's whining at the door again and I fear that he has designs on the left leg of Bauhaus.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In fact, you gits deserve nothing at all, except maybe another obnoxious serving of Joe Shaw Slop, which will probably be along shortly. He erupts every hour on the hour, just like Old Faithful, but Joe smells worse.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah yes, my adoring public calls again. It's something of a burden you know, can't go to the movies without being stopped by some lowlife Lawyer asking for an autograph, but one does what one must to appease the masses.
Speaking of lowlife, I see with revulsion that Panzer Leader has been taken to squire by PawBroon ... there's no undestanding the French. I also note, Lorak, that my young squire Speedbump is STILL shown as a serf AND as a squire, yet another example of your ineptitude but we get what we pay for I suppose.
I am able to report, by the by ... and by the way too, that a week without you lot is like a reprieve from the Governor ... a temporary and pleasing stay of punishment that's too soon ended with yet another session of torment that follows closely on it's heels.
Oh, and about my turns, I'm not yet ... in the mood.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally, thanks go out to Joe Shaw for leaving Texas and returning to his hell-hole in Utah. I noticed the air-quality index soared on Monday.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Indeed it did, along with an abatment of the oppressive temperatures if you noticed, at least in the Hill Country. I grew weary of the poor air and heat and changed it on Monday which was my last day there. I'd have done it earlier but didn't want to show off.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>On the upside, one of my international trainees is a shapely young Brazilian lass of the blonde, blue-eyed persuasion.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Ah, well good for you then Mark IV, I suppose we can assume that you fancy your chances eh? Excellent, best of luck old man, obviously she's also of the blind, deaf and stupid persuasion or she'd have nothing to do with you but dumb luck will win out at times. Do keep us informed ... photos would be nice ... of HER mind you.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I would like to edit this to point out that this is one of the second-dumbest names for the Peng Challenge thread ever, the dumbest being any by JoeShaw.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Damn you Mark IV, if you'd bothered to actually READ the opening post of my classic threads you'd have seen that the header actually led into further comment that was brilliant beyond description but that would be expecting more of you than is reasonable.
Oh ... I'm back ... you may all bask in the light of my presence and continue to refresh crazily in hopes that I've posted yet another witty yet strangely warm missive to bring some joy into your otherwise drab and meaningless lives.
As to my unanswered turns, I'll get to them when I feel like it.
Now let's see if my ID is still good ...
Joe
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I agree as to the option, but remember that there are significant issues in playing Ironman mode PBEM/TCP as opposed to against the AI. Still, I would hope something could be worked out, it's a blast.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Taken from the Urban Combat Tweak thread as posted by Cubbies Phan: Well in John Kettler's defense I must say that given his Member # that he is well aware of the difference between woods and scattered trees.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think we can all save a bunch of time if we just post a question and then determine who's right by the member number! In fact I think we should make that a CessPool requirement, it fits in nicely with our philosophy.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hi to that wee-lassie with whom I enjoyed an afternoon at the top of Green Peak!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Really? How much did she charge then? Oh ... Hi Mom!
joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As I hear it, 5 of your tanks were killed by a single MkIV<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now Berli do YOU really want to discuss large numbers of tanks being lost for little loss on the other side? As you are the Prince of DARKNESS, I would have thought the memory of a certain DARK night with German armor being destroyed left and right would have remained in your thoughts, but perhaps you've expunged that particular memory.
In any case, I couldn't check which vehicles were responsible, but if true it just adds more veracity to my story.
And, apropos of nothing at all, what were you talking to Bauhaus about, as he was the only one with that information? Verifying the contract terms were we?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In short, the above is a masterpiece of poolaranimy. Study it. Learn from it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Better still, ignore it totally. There are SO many things wrong with this that it surpasses belief. The hour is late and my temper is not good so I'll not excise this tumor as it should be, but suffice it to say Dalem, with luck, with a great deal of luck, we MAY forget ... eventually ... your hubris, but we shall never forget your insult to the CessPool.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Maybe I'll leave it, hmmmj could be jd, esq. you know!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I don't know jd it seems to be that it would be better to actually BE jd rather than being jdesq ... I mean why be LIKE jd when you can BE jd ... not that that makes a lot of sense either.
Joe
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It's a sad day in the CessPool. Up until this point in time we've dealt with gamey players, players who would bend the rules to win a game of CM, but who still played WITHIN the rules. Now ... it's different.
It is my sad duty to report that one amongst us has actually gone so far as to use a CRACKED VERSION of CM to improve his position. Who is this miscreant, this foul creature masquerading as a Knight of the CessPool? None other than Bauhaus! Now I'm NOT suggesting that HE has the wit to crack a walnut let along the code to CM, but consider the following:
In our current game, 10 of his AFVs (about 6 tanks and 4 HTs) faced off against roughly 8 of mine (about 6 tanks and 2 HTs). In ONE TURN, I lost 6 tanks and 2 HTs while he lost only ONE tank! Now obviously, Bauhaus couldn't have that kind of a result without ... shall we just say assistance?
Oh sure, he LOOKS dumb ... really Dumb actually ... massively ... sorry, anyway I suspect he's had some assistance from outside forces. Forces of EVIL, not to put too fine a point on it. So Berli ... been a little slow in the soul department these days? Been getting a little HEAT from the Home Office have we? Finally decided that ANY soul was better than none at all? Pretty pathetic Berli, sure the lad was lacking in the social graces but to do this to him? For shame.
For those who might be confused by this based on Bauhaus' past record, it obviously just happened since his tactical choices to date have pretty much been predicated upon tossing a coin when faced with any decision.
But fine, I'll play the game to the end but it's just ... too bad it had to come to this. Poor Bauhaus.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe Flaw's tarpaper VL shacks are now burning like his love for boy_scout. His sturmgirlen will soon know the meaning of the word "mama!".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Oh good, my guys have been asking what all the Ami's were screaming as they ran like rabbits, now I can tell them.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So stay your hand...ire...flatulence until I have proclaimed FINE! If you don't like it, send a setup and I'll spank your candy ass back to Tejas where your ancestors cry in horror about what their linage has become.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm glad to see that you have at last acknowledged the pitiful (it's not actually THAT pitiful, I frankly have very little pity for you, let alone being full of it, now YOU are full of it ... in entirely another sense but that's another story) ... damn ... lost track again. Anyway, see to it that you get to the important bits next time (as you rightly point out, I'm not mentioned once in the current version) and cut much of the current drivel (i.e. anything actually written by either Peng or Seanachai). I'm warning you lad, you're on a short leash here ... and we had to borrow that one from Bauhaus ... damn, probably should have warned YK2 first I suppose ... Oh YK2, do have a care around ... opps ... too late ... sorry Emma, my bad.
As to the game, I've explained innumerable times (innumerable to you lot anyway, your mathematical skills are essentially: one ... two ... many) that my dance card is filled and I shan't be adding any for the nonce ... perhaps after the nonce if I haven't celebrated too heartily ... lots of nonce day celebrations around these parts.
Right then, cherrio and back to your regular pursuits ... NO Bauhaus, bad Bauhaus, don't slobber on YK2 she doesn't care for that ... well ... appearances to the contrary.
Joe
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Wildman you're nothing but a Peng sychophant ... heavy on the Psycho. I've read your drivel that purports to be a Peng FAQ and ...
Bah! This is all about ... PENG! As if HE has anything of value to add to the CessPool! Oh sure, his NAME is on it, certainly anyone who loses to him is permanently branded with the mark of shame but that's about it. He'll wander in from time to time, spouting some mystical nonsense that makes even LESS sense than Seanachai, grumbles about the state of things in general and then sloshes off into the nether regions ... and when you live in the CessPool the regions are pretty damned nether.
This supposed FAQ says NOTHING about the origin of the REAL CessPool. It provides no guidance to anyone who would dare to venture into the CessPool, it doesn't even reference the OFFICIAL CessPool site where the members of the CessPool are listed in all their glory.
Does it explain Bauhaus (well, as well as he CAN be explained), it does NOT. Does it explain the significance of Mormon Wives, it does NOT. Does it tell about the exploits of the Knights, the Squires, the serfs, the scum sucking newbies, (well, any of them that actually have accomplished anything, none spring to mind immediately but it COULD happen) it does NOT. Does it explain the roles of the Consigliori or the Father Confessor (whoever it ends up being, those damned butterfly ballots were confusing as hell, I think I voted for Phillies Phan and that just CAN'T be right), it does NOT.
This is no FAQ, it's another snivelling, toadying, whining PENG appreciation thread ... as if there is anything about PENG to be appreciated.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Yes, but for this child, being that he is retarded, will it hurt him?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ohmigawd ... Of course you COULD have replied that the Judge has a great point, perhaps if he keeps getting kicked in the head ... HE WOULD DIE ... and then he wouldn't be around drugs which, you both agree, would be bad for him! Gotta love the American judiciary.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Peng is hereby declared Father Confessor of the Peng Challenge Thread, aka 'The Cesspool'.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now, now Seanachai, no one appointed you as Katherine Harris of the Pool you know (a reference to the recently contested election here in the States for our foreign friends) ... though you COULD do with some of her makeup tips, IMHO. I'm calling for a recount of the ballots as I'm quite sure I saw a hanging chad ... or maybe that was boy_Recon ...
Joe
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Gen-x87, while it's certainly true that PawBroon came on a bit strong in his response to you, you might have noticed that he is French! As such it's likely that English isn't his first language and he might easily have misunderstood the gist of your question. He was also responding in kind to your "yawn" comment in the Peng thread.
E-communication of any type is wide open to misunderstandings under the best of circumstances, and since this board is in English it's easy to make the assumption that ALL are equally fluent. I know, I've made the same mistake myself.
In any case, it appears that your question was answered. While it might be fun/interesting it just won't be happening in CM2.
Joe
Here's a PENNY NOW GO AWAY... A PANTIELESS PENG CHALLENGE THREAD.?
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I still say you left because you had to mentally recover from my victory against you. My out-matched, out-numbered brave little digital Amis fought without equal. I could only excpect your mental breakdown at the loss you suffered at my hands. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, you're only digging yourself in deeper my lad. First your unseemly petitioning for the role of CessPool Champion and now this rehash of old news ... Victories are Nothing, Taunts are Everything, and you have proven ... and amply proven, that your abilities in THAT arena are sadly lacking. Mind you it could be worse, you could be PeterNZer, now that lad is pretty much limited to grunts and armpit noises ... at least I THINK they were armpit noises ... hmmmm. But I thank you for the, by your standards, effusive welcome back, it IS nice to be back in the warm embrace of my ... back the HELL off Bauhaus, sheesh.
As to the GOR books ... I think there really SHOULD be some place where scantily clad doxies are eager to uh ... please ... their lords and masters. I think we need fewer damned SSNs and more Scantily Clad Doxies.
I admit to a certain degree of ... apprehension as to the outcome of the serial by MrSpkr. Nothing good can come of it I fear but at least they limited their collection of bodily fluids to drool, it could have been a LOT worse.
Joe