Bergerbitz Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I need a beer... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Posted May 28, 2006 Share Posted May 28, 2006 I don't need a Riga Black Balsam! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawRecruit Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Chuck Norris doesn't need either CMC or tumbleweeds! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanonier Reichmann Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 No, he just needs some lessons on how to act. Regards Jim R. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterk Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 I need a new guitar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Chuck Norris went to get some acting lessons from a foo-foo Hollywood director, but the first time the pansy told him to do something differently he just kicked him in the face instead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 Originally posted by JasonC: Chuck Norris went to get some acting lessons from a foo-foo Hollywood director, but the first time the pansy told him to do something differently he just kicked him in the face instead. Apparently that directors head has just overtaken voyager 1 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmavis Posted May 29, 2006 Share Posted May 29, 2006 For those of you not following the jokes... LINK! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterk Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Ok...anyways....back to the guitar that I need. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K.A. Miles Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Hey, listen Peterk... Hunter is working hard to get this game finished, and your repeated requests for guitars really aren't helping. I mean, geez... how often were guitars even USED effectively at the strategic level? That's like asking for the German propaganda air-drops of ice cream canisters at Kursk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bergerbitz Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Now I need ice cream... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 When Chuck Norris takes a guitar it not only wails, it weeps. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottie Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 my word you lot are a creative bunch 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 When Chuck Norris wants ice cream, he does not go to Baskin Robbins. He just finds a cow and kicks it so hard ice cream flies out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterk Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Isn't anyone curious about what kind of guitar I need? It's a real beaut. Ice cream gets the strings sticky so I think I'll pass. Maybe I'll have some after I'm finished practicing if Chuck hasn't eaten it all by then. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mies Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Chuck Norris wanted to play the guitar but couldn't find any lying around, so he invented the string theory to play anyway! Mies 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 For Witten and company string theory is a theoretical business. For Chuck Norris it is purely experimental. He doesn't need a particle accelerator to probe string theoretic energies, he just hits any old board or brick with a spinning backkick, and exotic new particles spray out in all directions. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Exotic new particles and teeth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mies Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 When performing his spinning backkick Chuck Norris can kick Space Lobsters Of Doom in multiple parallel universes in one go. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterk Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Actually I changed my mind. I need a new guitar AAAND a saxophone. That way Chuck Norris and I can play duets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Chuck Norris once had an agent who proposed that he costar in a new action movie with Jean Claude Vandamme. But when he learned his proposed costar would be French, Chuck squinted at his agent so hard his chair flipped over backwards and he broke his neck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmavis Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 I thought he was Belgian. Anyway, if you spell "Chuck Norris" in a game of Scrabble, you win. Forever. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 Some people think Belgium is the former portion of the Spanish Netherlands that their armies retained in their long war with the Dutch, from the 1500s to the mid 1600s. But actually, Belgium was created by Chuck Norris. He was in Paris once and a waiter in a cafe got snippy. Chuck put his foot down - and the entire country broke in pieces. The parts that fell off include Belgium and Luxembourg as we now them today. The cafe was near Luxembourg gardens, hence the name. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JasonC Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 I know, I know. You are thinking, "what on earth was Chuck Norris doing in Paris, anyway? Eeewww". Well somebody had to roundhouse kick the Germans back to Berlin. What, you think the French were going to do it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted June 4, 2006 Share Posted June 4, 2006 I'd like to see Chuck Norris go up against a Reptiloid or even five. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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