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A Tale Told By An Idiot: The Peng Challenge Thread Drags on Its Way To Dusty Death


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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

... but private emails are NOT to be referenced here

Joe

What is that horrible stench?

It smells as if all the hounds of hell have been dipped in swine excreta, attacked by a cadre of overly potent skunks, rubbed with the BO of several Australians who've spent several weeks in the outback with their usual hygiene supplies and then allowed to ferment inside a Keds black hi-top sneaker, underneath a chicken coop in Prescott, Arizona for all of July and August!

Oh, it's merely Joe's pants on fire.

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Hmm. I am back. Again. I am He Who Eternally Returns.

Still too much ice on the local lakes. At least for my kayaking friend, who, of course, caught the story on the news last night about the two utter fecking halfwits who'd just moved here from New York, who were canoeing on Lake Calhoun yesterday, and managed to get hung up on the ice, and overturned their canoe trying to get it free, and spent 30 minutes in the ice cold water before being rescued by Minneapolis Fire and Rescue.

Nidan, out of curiosity, just how goddamn stupid are New Yorkers? These two halfwits were using their canoe like a Soviet Ice-breaker, and when they finally got far enough into where the ice was still thick and they got hung up, they stood up and tried 'rocking' their canoe to get free, and overturned.

Is cousin marriage legal in New York, or is there so much heavy metal in the water supply that you're all fixing enough mercury and such as to make the fact that Guiliani was elected mayor seem like just another day in Halfwit Land?

Christ on a crutch, attempting to paddle with New Yorkers...

I didn't paddle today, although it was WARM enough, because my paddling friend watched the News last night, and decided that, because there was still so much ice on the lakes, that there was no way we should go paddling.

Goddamn New York arses.

So, instead, we went for about a 6 mile hike. Very nice. I'm all sunburnt, and such. Time to get used to using a hat again.

You know, you arseholes all show up here to natter on about the fact that your penises haven't quite fallen off yet, but you never tell us what you ARE doing.

I mean, I know what Grammont is doing. He came in here, and shot our dog.

He wasn't a good dog. We didn't like the bastard. It was only a matter of time before we shot the fecker ourselves. Mangy, ill-behaved, pissed on every rug he ever got close to.

But he came in here, you see, and Steve shot one of our dogs.

Steve Grammont, of BFC?

A man shoots his own dog.

I never even saw the bastard's post. I've done all the requisite inquiries, talked to this one, and that one, and ta' other.

You do what you have to, lad. I understand why you pulled the trigger. Took half a dozen emails and the sacrifice of a goat to arrive at that, but I'm only lazy three days out of any given week, and I'm sober for almost as many days as I'm not being lazy on.

Your House, as they say.

But to come in here, to our house, and shoot our dog...

Well. People will talk.

Of course, there's still some discussion over whether our Traditions were traduced, or whether we should be flattered because you dashed Dorosh's brains out here, in the Peng Challenge Thread, while everyone watched.

For myself, I think that, in keeping with the almost psychotic tenor of this Thread, it might have been appropriate to come in, to state why Dorosh must go to Coventry before the Jury of the Weird, and then Ban him.

It's a little less Persian, that way. A bit more Greek.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

You know, you arseholes all show up here to natter on about the fact that your penises haven't quite fallen off yet, but you never tell us what you ARE doing.

You mean right now? I'm sitting at my desk at the office, trying to wake up and hoping against all hope I don't have to spend another whole day in stupid, pointless, boring, unending meetings. Last Friday I was in the Bataan Death March of meetings, because apparently, someone changed our corporate message to "Meetings: the acceptable alternative to work" and didn't memo me.

Why do you want to know? Want to trade days?

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Originally posted by Stuka:

... observing how superior I am in the woman trapping department...

<big><big><big>HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!</big></big></big>

That's good. (Snort) That's really good.

Thank you. I needed a big laugh to start off my work week.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Still too much ice on the local lakes. At least for my kayaking friend, who, of course, caught the story on the news last night about the two utter fecking halfwits who'd just moved here from New York, who were canoeing on Lake Calhoun yesterday, and managed to get hung up on the ice, and overturned their canoe trying to get it free, and spent 30 minutes in the ice cold water before being rescued by Minneapolis Fire and Rescue.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Those two idiots are well on their way to infamy in this town.

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Originally posted by Stuka:

I'm looking at the new wedding ring on my finger and observing how superior I am in the woman trapping department compared to you lick spittles.

Congratulations!

Now, check back in a few years and tell us how superior you feel.

If she'll let you.

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Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Still too much ice on the local lakes. At least for my kayaking friend, who, of course, caught the story on the news last night about the two utter fecking halfwits who'd just moved here from New York, who were canoeing on Lake Calhoun yesterday, and managed to get hung up on the ice, and overturned their canoe trying to get it free, and spent 30 minutes in the ice cold water before being rescued by Minneapolis Fire and Rescue.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Those two idiots are well on their way to infamy in this town. </font>

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Originally posted by Stuka:

I guess if you didn't laugh you'd cry hey Boo?

And if you learned to punctuate, you wouldn't look half so illiterate, hey Stuka-Nuka-Puka-Pants?

But seriously, Ed*, I'd like to offer my congratulations on your nuptuals and hope that in time, with some tender loving care, and the judicious use physical pain and constant personal humiliation, your lovely bride is able to transform you into something a little bit closer to a reasoning biped than you are right now.

*I don't know... it's a line from an old, old, old, MAD magazine.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Nidan, out of curiosity, just how goddamn stupid are New Yorkers? These two halfwits were using their canoe like a Soviet Ice-breaker, and when they finally got far enough into where the ice was still thick and they got hung up, they stood up and tried 'rocking' their canoe to get free, and overturned.

Hmmmm, that is a good question my gnomeish friend...we have loads of lakes...some of them are even called "Great Lakes", loads of rivers...an ocean front coast line, and many small rivers and streams, all navigable by canoe, I would imagine. I myself have canoed, I have even taken a Kaos Kayak into the surf of the Atlantic. We New Yorkers ARE capable of outdoor activities.

Of course I cannot speak for all of my fellow New Yorkers...these two may have been born and raised urbanites, perhaps in the wilderness for the first time in their lives, and not having any experience with canoeing at all.

Maybe they were just a couple of rubes, looking for adventure, harmless really, just trying to enjoy the beauty of the natural world....and unfairly made fun of.

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Maybe they were just a couple of rubes, looking for adventure, harmless really, just trying to enjoy the beauty of the natural world....and unfairly made fun of.
Well it's just a damned good thing they weren't in Juarez then isn't it ... you know what they say ... All's fair in love and Juarez ... HAHAHAHAHAAHHAA ... man I crack myself up.

But seriously Nidan1, they're Noo Yawkers ... they CAN'T be unfairly made fun of.

Stuka that's a lovely ring and properly symbolizes the love, devotion and trust between the two of you ... sure it likely makes it tough to blow your nose but it does match the one on your finger.

Joe

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Maybe they were just a couple of rubes, looking for adventure, harmless really, just trying to enjoy the beauty of the natural world....and unfairly made fun of.

Well it's just a damned good thing they weren't in Juarez then isn't it ... you know what they say ... All's fair in love and Juarez ... HAHAHAHAHAAHHAA ... man I crack myself up.

But seriously Nidan1, they're Noo Yawkers ... they CAN'T be unfairly made fun of.

Stuka that's a lovely ring and properly symbolizes the love, devotion and trust between the two of you ... sure it likely makes it tough to blow your nose but it does match the one on your finger.

Joe </font>

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Still too much ice on the local lakes.

I think that calls for a bit of a singsong:

"Hail Minnesota

Hurrah for thee

Pointy in the northeast part

Bounteous with tree

Thy perpendicular southmost border

Swells our hearts with pride

We love thee even though Dakotas

Touch thy western side

Hail to thy rivers

Praise to thy mills

We’d laud loud thy mountains

But you have only hills

Proud we sing of Gopher State

Its woods so thick with ticks

We shall love you ‘til we die

Or move to warm Phoenix.

Rah! "

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Originally posted by Nidan1:

Laugh now, they will probably own the town in a few weeks.

(Lull the hayseeds in a false sense of superiority, then take them for everything they have)

Nah, the hayseeds are all out today on the open water.

Lake Calhoun webcam

Think even Minnetonka might go out today or tomorrow.

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Okay. Which of you lot broke my internet thingy again?

Get your mind OUT of the gutter, Shaw; I note you haven't even the common decency to WARN folks when you are travelling nearby. Too busy sucking up to Steve, I suspect.

Crass, very crass.

S--

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Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Okay. Which of you lot broke my internet thingy again?

Get your mind OUT of the gutter, Shaw; I note you haven't even the common decency to WARN folks when you are travelling nearby. Too busy sucking up to Steve, I suspect.

Crass, very crass.

S--

Okay fine ... I'll be in Dallas (or the rough environs thereof) on May 5th, 6th and 7th. IF you can tear yourself away from your BUSY practice of chasing ambulances and/or remembering to actually wear SHOES you might have the inexpressible joy of meeting, IN PERSON, your Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread.

Maybe we can catch an Obama rally or something.

Joe

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Okay. Which of you lot broke my internet thingy again?

Get your mind OUT of the gutter, Shaw; I note you haven't even the common decency to WARN folks when you are travelling nearby. Too busy sucking up to Steve, I suspect.

Crass, very crass.

S--

Okay fine ... I'll be in Dallas (or the rough environs thereof) on May 5th, 6th and 7th. IF you can tear yourself away from your BUSY practice of chasing ambulances and/or remembering to actually wear SHOES you might have the inexpressible joy of meeting, IN PERSON, your Beloved Justicar for Life of the Peng Challenge Thread.

Maybe we can catch an Obama rally or something.

Joe </font>

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Originally posted by Boo Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

You know, you arseholes all show up here to natter on about the fact that your penises haven't quite fallen off yet, but you never tell us what you ARE doing.

You mean right now? I'm sitting at my desk at the office, trying to wake up and hoping against all hope I don't have to spend another whole day in stupid, pointless, boring, unending meetings. Last Friday I was in the Bataan Death March of meetings, because apparently, someone changed our corporate message to "Meetings: the acceptable alternative to work" and didn't memo me.

Why do you want to know? Want to trade days? </font>

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